“The reason justice does not rain down like water is NOT because of a lack of knowledge. No. It is because of a lack of will and a lack of caring – the will to impose accountability for the cruelties and abuses of clergy colleagues and the caring to prioritize the safety of kids and congregants.” Christa Brown

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How I came to know about Christa Brown

Approximately sixteen years ago, I became aware of a sex abuse scandal involving a large number of young teen boys at my SBC church. I was shocked and confused. I felt my church was not handling things appropriately. So, I started searching the internet and found the Stop Baptist Predators website. There began my indoctrination into the SBC sex abuse scandal that would cause me to begin blogging. The molester in my church, Doug Goodrich, was featured on her website. Christa was ahead of her time, advocating for a change in how the SBC treated abuse.

I was sickened to read about the abuse she suffered at the hands of Tommy Gilmore, as outlined in her first book, This Little Light: Beyond a Baptist Preacher Predator and His Gang. As time went on, I would read articles about Christa Brown, whose abuser, until recently, attended an SBC church, First Baptist Orlando. I was incensed, calling the pastor of the church who asked me if I believed in forgiveness. The problem is that her abuser, Tommy Gilmore, never did the work to seek forgiveness and that it was not my responsibility to forgive him. Christa was the one who this man molested.

Christa would go on to be the leading voice in calling out the SBC for their abysmal record in dealing with sexual abuse within the denomination. In 2019, I discovered an ugly truth. When the SBC decided to “deal” with the sex abuse scandal in the Caring Well conference, the powers that be did not ask Christa Brown to be one of the speakers at the meeting. They seemed to avoid the victims who were abused in the SBC, preferring survivors from other denominations. Once again, the SBC added to Christa Brown’s abuse by ignoring her as well as others.

However, Christa Brown’s voice didn’t slow for one minute. She continued to call out the SBC even as the SBC ignored her. Her voice became louder, and more and more of us listened. Recently, I met with an SBC insider. He told me that the way Christa Brown has been treated is one of the stories that bother him the most.

Christa Brown’s new book: Baptistland. A  Memoir of Abuse, Betrayal and Transformation

I was honored when I was asked to endorse Christa’s newest book. I call her the “Grandmother of the Survivors.” She paved the way for those of us to follow in her footsteps. I thought I knew Christa’s story and was startled to learn that she not only had been abused in the SBC but had been abused by her sisters as she was growing up. The word “overcomer” came to mind as I read her story. When I did child abuse and neglect follow-up, I would see horrific examples of abuse and the long-term effects on the children. Many of those children would go on to have great difficulties in life involving substance abuse, abusive interpersonal relationships, and the like. But every once in a while, an abused child would shine, overcoming seemingly impossible odds. That is what I call Christa; she is an overcomer.

So Christa met with me and answered some questions about her book.

How is sex abuse in a religious context different from other kinds of sexual abuse?

Sarah Standkorb noted that:

Abuse is a unique violence when paired with faith.

Christa continued, saying people turn to faith in their most dire moments. Abuse goes to the heart and soul of what you believe about God. I (Dee) thought about this regarding some churches that teach that God ordained for that child to be abused. That, when couples with sex abuse, goes to the very heart and soul of what one believes about God and what he wants for the person being abused. In the fifteen years that I have been blogging about sex abuse in churches, I have noted that the majority of those abused in the church are more likely to leave the faith.

In your book, you said that you sometimes feel you could be a cousin to a religious terrorist in some part of the world. What did you mean?

Christa points out that faith has enormous power when one feels that “She may do whatever God wants her to do.” I thought that one only needs to look at the religious fervor of the terrorists who attacked on 9/11. Christa stressed that she practiced and believed in her faith in God wholeheartedly. Yet she fears faith since she has seen how it is misused to harm others. Look at what happened to Christa. She was abused by a supposedly faithful man in the church. That man is still attending church today, never having done the work to make amends for what he did to Christa. She no longer feels comfortable with the word “God.” She views Him as a wild God. As she said this, I thought she viewed Him as a God who could not be trusted.

In this book, you talk honestly and frequently about your difficult family life. How does that intersect with what you say about the SBC?

I have known Christa for several years and had not noticed that she had struggled with a cleft lip and a speech impediment. She was surprised when I confessed that to her. Christa has long been one of my heroes, and she is such an accomplished communicator that a speech impediment didn’t cross my mind. Sadly, I learned this contributed to a dysfunctional family in which her three sisters often abused her physically and emotionally.

When Christa was abused, she confessed it to her sisters and her mother, as well as the music minister. Her sisters accused her of making a mountain out of a molehill. Her mom felt that she was making too much out of what happened and that the abuse was “not a big deal.” She even said that Christa needed to “Own her own part in it.”

Further conflict arose when Christa’s sisters accused her of making her mom “feel guilty” when she began to talk more openly about what had happened. Christa noted that estrangements often occur in families when the victim starts to speak out about their abuse. Christa naturally created distance between herself and her immediate family. as she began to work on “healing herself.”

After her mother died, Christa learned that her mother felt guilty because she had known of her abuse. The pastor claimed she would “forget about it.”

Eventually, Christa became permanently estranged from her sisters, who were the source of much pain and suffering for Christa. She was treated similarly in the SBC: abused physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Christa eventually became a lawyer and served as an appellate court lawyer. She overcame.

Why doesn’t the SBC want a database of abusers?

We briefly touched on this subject. Christa recounts the “hundreds of unique submissions” on the SBC hotline run by Guidepost. Yet, there is no information on what has been done to address these reported abuses. At the forefront of this is the SBC leadership, which in the past had a secret list of abusers in the pastorate. I think serious and important information has seemingly fallen into a black hole.

In the meantime, Christa was told that an Executive Committee member was sympathetic to her “perspective,” but he didn’t want that information out. Paige Patterson reportedly called her an “evil doer.”At this point, many are pessimistic about a database that will be up and running in our lifetime.

Finally,

I am grateful to know my friend Christa Brown, who helped me long before she met me, just as she has helped many survivors. These days, she finds much beauty and peace walking in the beautiful mountains of Colorado. But she emerges from time to time to advocate for victims of sexual abuse in the SBC.

I don’t think I’ve done an interview before, so please forgive my inexperience in the matter.