“The reason justice does not rain down like water is NOT because of a lack of knowledge. No. It is because of a lack of will and a lack of caring – the will to impose accountability for the cruelties and abuses of clergy colleagues and the caring to prioritize the safety of kids and congregants.” Christa Brown
How I came to know about Christa Brown
Approximately sixteen years ago, I became aware of a sex abuse scandal involving a large number of young teen boys at my SBC church. I was shocked and confused. I felt my church was not handling things appropriately. So, I started searching the internet and found the Stop Baptist Predators website. There began my indoctrination into the SBC sex abuse scandal that would cause me to begin blogging. The molester in my church, Doug Goodrich, was featured on her website. Christa was ahead of her time, advocating for a change in how the SBC treated abuse.
I was sickened to read about the abuse she suffered at the hands of Tommy Gilmore, as outlined in her first book, This Little Light: Beyond a Baptist Preacher Predator and His Gang. As time went on, I would read articles about Christa Brown, whose abuser, until recently, attended an SBC church, First Baptist Orlando. I was incensed, calling the pastor of the church who asked me if I believed in forgiveness. The problem is that her abuser, Tommy Gilmore, never did the work to seek forgiveness and that it was not my responsibility to forgive him. Christa was the one who this man molested.
Christa would go on to be the leading voice in calling out the SBC for their abysmal record in dealing with sexual abuse within the denomination. In 2019, I discovered an ugly truth. When the SBC decided to “deal” with the sex abuse scandal in the Caring Well conference, the powers that be did not ask Christa Brown to be one of the speakers at the meeting. They seemed to avoid the victims who were abused in the SBC, preferring survivors from other denominations. Once again, the SBC added to Christa Brown’s abuse by ignoring her as well as others.
However, Christa Brown’s voice didn’t slow for one minute. She continued to call out the SBC even as the SBC ignored her. Her voice became louder, and more and more of us listened. Recently, I met with an SBC insider. He told me that the way Christa Brown has been treated is one of the stories that bother him the most.
Christa Brown’s new book: Baptistland. A Memoir of Abuse, Betrayal and Transformation
I was honored when I was asked to endorse Christa’s newest book. I call her the “Grandmother of the Survivors.” She paved the way for those of us to follow in her footsteps. I thought I knew Christa’s story and was startled to learn that she not only had been abused in the SBC but had been abused by her sisters as she was growing up. The word “overcomer” came to mind as I read her story. When I did child abuse and neglect follow-up, I would see horrific examples of abuse and the long-term effects on the children. Many of those children would go on to have great difficulties in life involving substance abuse, abusive interpersonal relationships, and the like. But every once in a while, an abused child would shine, overcoming seemingly impossible odds. That is what I call Christa; she is an overcomer.
So Christa met with me and answered some questions about her book.
How is sex abuse in a religious context different from other kinds of sexual abuse?
Sarah Standkorb noted that:
Abuse is a unique violence when paired with faith.
Christa continued, saying people turn to faith in their most dire moments. Abuse goes to the heart and soul of what you believe about God. I (Dee) thought about this regarding some churches that teach that God ordained for that child to be abused. That, when couples with sex abuse, goes to the very heart and soul of what one believes about God and what he wants for the person being abused. In the fifteen years that I have been blogging about sex abuse in churches, I have noted that the majority of those abused in the church are more likely to leave the faith.
In your book, you said that you sometimes feel you could be a cousin to a religious terrorist in some part of the world. What did you mean?
Christa points out that faith has enormous power when one feels that “She may do whatever God wants her to do.” I thought that one only needs to look at the religious fervor of the terrorists who attacked on 9/11. Christa stressed that she practiced and believed in her faith in God wholeheartedly. Yet she fears faith since she has seen how it is misused to harm others. Look at what happened to Christa. She was abused by a supposedly faithful man in the church. That man is still attending church today, never having done the work to make amends for what he did to Christa. She no longer feels comfortable with the word “God.” She views Him as a wild God. As she said this, I thought she viewed Him as a God who could not be trusted.
In this book, you talk honestly and frequently about your difficult family life. How does that intersect with what you say about the SBC?
I have known Christa for several years and had not noticed that she had struggled with a cleft lip and a speech impediment. She was surprised when I confessed that to her. Christa has long been one of my heroes, and she is such an accomplished communicator that a speech impediment didn’t cross my mind. Sadly, I learned this contributed to a dysfunctional family in which her three sisters often abused her physically and emotionally.
When Christa was abused, she confessed it to her sisters and her mother, as well as the music minister. Her sisters accused her of making a mountain out of a molehill. Her mom felt that she was making too much out of what happened and that the abuse was “not a big deal.” She even said that Christa needed to “Own her own part in it.”
Further conflict arose when Christa’s sisters accused her of making her mom “feel guilty” when she began to talk more openly about what had happened. Christa noted that estrangements often occur in families when the victim starts to speak out about their abuse. Christa naturally created distance between herself and her immediate family. as she began to work on “healing herself.”
After her mother died, Christa learned that her mother felt guilty because she had known of her abuse. The pastor claimed she would “forget about it.”
Eventually, Christa became permanently estranged from her sisters, who were the source of much pain and suffering for Christa. She was treated similarly in the SBC: abused physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Christa eventually became a lawyer and served as an appellate court lawyer. She overcame.
Why doesn’t the SBC want a database of abusers?
We briefly touched on this subject. Christa recounts the “hundreds of unique submissions” on the SBC hotline run by Guidepost. Yet, there is no information on what has been done to address these reported abuses. At the forefront of this is the SBC leadership, which in the past had a secret list of abusers in the pastorate. I think serious and important information has seemingly fallen into a black hole.
In the meantime, Christa was told that an Executive Committee member was sympathetic to her “perspective,” but he didn’t want that information out. Paige Patterson reportedly called her an “evil doer.”At this point, many are pessimistic about a database that will be up and running in our lifetime.
Finally,
I am grateful to know my friend Christa Brown, who helped me long before she met me, just as she has helped many survivors. These days, she finds much beauty and peace walking in the beautiful mountains of Colorado. But she emerges from time to time to advocate for victims of sexual abuse in the SBC.
I don’t think I’ve done an interview before, so please forgive my inexperience in the matter.
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
“Paige Patterson reportedly called her an “evil doer.””
I bet he never called Paul Pressler that!
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
Dee–spot on! Often children who are physically different or neurodivergent or exceptionally gifted are victims of abuse within their own families. More light needs to shined there!
And Christa if you read this, I hope your visits to the mountains in our previous home state of Colorado include going to the “edge of the world” up on Grand Mesa.
Truly one of His best and most peaceful cathedrals.
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
Christa, you are amazing!
You really opened my eyes to how irresponsible, deceitful and intentionally cruel the Protestant world can be about sexual abuse.
Bostonian here – when the Spotlight exposé broke in 2002, I thought, no way would Protestants ever handle sexual abuse the way the Catholic hierarchy has, because you have lay people and parents governing the church. Oof, was I wrong.
I can’t tell you how much I admire your tenacity for justice and especially your efforts at preventing future victims.
Thank you – and I am really looking forward to reading your book.
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
Thanks for posting this, Dee, and also to Christa for all her good work.
But, umm, on TWW’s home page, the blurb says, “Christa Brown, sex abuse advocate…”
You might want to edit that.
I do like the description “Member Emeritus of the Daughters of Stan” however.
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
linda,
Love the Grand Mesa area! The red rocks, the Book Cliffs, the lovely town of Fruita with its statue of Mike the headless chicken, and of course the Colorado National Monument.
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
Max,
Exactly..
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
Amen to this post..
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
Elizabeth Klein,
Thanks, Elizabeth! And thanks for reading!
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
It’s becoming increasingly clear that “Baptistland” ain’t holy ground.
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
Christa–we camped early spring on Grand Mesa once. I really wanted to see one columbine in bloom, but it was early. I would take my Bible to a certain rock to read, pray, and ask for one columbine. Went out one morning and sat on my rock. Opened my eyes after prayer and the entire area was covered with open columbines. I know full well it could have just been a freak of timing, but I still treasure that hug from Jesus!
And we loved Fruita! Not a lot of folks that know who Mike was!
Peace!
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
THAT is a common aftereffect of church abuse.
Which makes it easy for the Godly to throw the victim under the bus as an Apostate.
And some of that damage (God cannot be trusted) WILL be Permanent.
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
If anything, it’s even more widespread, vicious, and Righteous.
What happened in the RCC was not a cautionary example, but a Righteous DARVO:
“WE THANK THEE, LOOOOOOOORD, THAT WE ARE NOTHING LIKE THOSE FILTHY ROMISH PAPISTS OVER THERE…”
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
I am curious about the publisher, distribution, and sales of Christa’s books.
Obviously they weren’t printed by a CHRISTIAN(TM) Publishing house.
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
ANY abuse or conflict “in a religious context” gets ramped up to literally COSMIC Significance.
With Bible Bullets flying and God Himself weaponized as an Enforcer, just like a sorcerer’s summoned or familiar spirits “GOD OR SATAN – WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON???????”
(And in both Appalachian and PA Dutch lore, Conjure-men and Hexen use their magickal/spiritual powers and bound/familiar spirits to extort money and sex from others and to take revenge on any who balk.)
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
From the main article up-top:
“She no longer feels comfortable with the word “God.” She views Him as a wild God. As she said this, I thought she viewed Him as a God who could not be trusted.”
I’ve often wondered why Brown and others cannot separate ‘God’ from what bad people do in the name of ‘God’. But then again, there is no easy answer, it’s as complicated as a Chinese fire-drill written in Sanskrit.
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
Christa,
Yeah, you are a sex abuse survivor. I suppose you always will be.
But, you are soooo much more! You are a success, a voice in the wilderness, a ground-breaker, a bastion of courage……. even a savior for some, maybe many. Your courage and outspokenness was a critical factor in exposing the abuse in churches.
(I think you have stubborn streak, too. Hey, than can be a good thing!)
Thank you.
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
Thank you, Christa, for telling your story.
and discussing the significance,
and the consequences of christians co-opting faith to manipulate, deceive, lie, aid and abet,
of being a company man in church
of being passive compliant do-nothing impotent morons,
of faith in theology and ‘biblical’
…and other selfish, stupid, and totally irresponsible things.
i know it’s all come at great cost to you, and can only imagine what you’ve experienced.
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
Muff Potter,
“I’ve often wondered why Brown and others cannot separate ‘God’ from what bad people do in the name of ‘God’. But then again, there is no easy answer…”
+++++++++++
part of it is hearing and reading statements in the bible weekly if not daily in someone else’s voice, and contextualized by them, over the course of years.
none of it without the legacy of at least some threads of egocentrism and inhumanity; (the irony is staggering to me)
which we allow to be pounded into our brains
out of innocent desire for something very good and right
but also on threat of many ominous things if we don’t
.
.
tape recorders in our brains have recorded it all, and the sound and sight of scripture turns on the tape players.
the stupidity and cruelty of the tapes are unbearable for me, at least.
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
elastigirl,
i’m sure there’s a succinct way to put all of that.
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
That is succinct. It’s what happens in my brain. I still appreciate God, but I prefer Jesus as a name. I cannot sit in churches and listen to the pontificating of men.
I can sit in a forest with creation and see an awesome Creator.
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
So many good comments! 🙂
That. 🙂
Dee wrote in her OP:
Dee,
When I read that, I laughed out loud (in a positive way 🙂 ), and said “That’s so Dee.” 🙂 ….what you wrote was excellent. 🙂
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
I see it the same way in the night sky far away from the light pollution.
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
I get it. Completely.
God can cater a wedding and make donkeys talk, he can rain manna from heaven (more catering) and part oceans, repeal a magic haircut – so the dude can exact revenge (and finish himself off) but it’s all about “free will” when it comes to heinous abuse.
So yeah, I get it.
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
All fire drills involve leaving the building.
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
That too!
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
It’s called PTSD Flashback Triggers.
Does anyone remember Jack Chick’s “This Was Your Life”?
And Billy Graham’s Watergate-era comment that “God has his tapes recording everything you’ve done and will do from birth to death”?
And those Uber-Christians who literally cannot think or speak anything other than SCRIPTURE! SCRIPTURE! SCRIPTURE!?
Put those three together and you get one helluva Flashback Trigger.
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
The God presented in most churches is not God in the flesh. Christian churches would do better talking more about the person and character of Jesus. If the main thing is not the Main Thing, move on.
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
The “Dones” have done just that!
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
Christa,
Thank you for sharing your story as well as all the grueling work you have done to expose the abuse in the Baptist denomination. What you have gone through in your family and the church is horrific. I’m at a loss of what to say about their lack of understanding, empathy, and change regarding the issues. Their hearts are truly hardened. I, for one, could never be a part of a Baptist church based on the leaders’ hard hearts.
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
Bridget,
we should have a meal sometime.
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
“Jesus, Jesus, Jesus; there’s just something about that name.
Master, Savior, Jesus, like the fragrance after the rain;
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, let all Heaven and earth proclaim
Kings and kingdoms will all pass away,
But there’s something about that name.”
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
elastigirl,
We should! Muff and HUG,too if they want. Over the years I’ve come to believe we are within 2 hours of each other. Meet halfway. I’m in northern SD county.
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
Max,
Yes, there is!
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
Bridget,
I’m a bit further, but will be coming your way more often as my daughter is going to college in Orange County. I would love to meet all my TWW pals.
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
There must be more SO Cal people on here, like me, than I realized.
That opening quote by Crista is spot on. I will be buying and reading this book. In John 10:12 it talks about how a hireling, who is not the shepherd, will let a wolf in and it will attack the sheep and cause them to scatter. When the pastor read that verse it hit me that is what is happening in a lot of churches. They are not shepherds, they are hirelings that elder boards approve of, and then they cannot understand why the sheep are being hurt and scattering/leaving.
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
@ elastigirl & Bridget
I’m all for it, you guys hammer out the details, and I’ll show up…
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
Christa, thank you for sharing your story and for blazing the trail. That is so hard to do, especially without a lot of support.
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
Slightly off topic to the OP….
When I read your comment, JJallday, I talked back to my computer, saying: “That sounds like PSC (Park Street Church).”
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
UCI?
Cal State Fullerton?
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
Muff Potter,
oh what fun. what kind of cuisine? i’ll bring the cigars.
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
Wow, I thought the same thing about that comment! Such an accurate description of what is happening at Park Street Church!
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
Jack,
In spite of all the horrors Christa has had to suffer and is still suffering, I hope that she will come to find comfort and strength in her God who, contrary to your self-indulgent cynicism, does comfort the afflicted and bring peace to the soul.
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
TWW friends,
Anyone in SoCal interested in a meet up in OC please give Dee permission to forward your email to me. I will then make contact via email.
I will not post a time or place on this site.
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
Bridget,
Sunday evening, 5/12?
i’ll be near again in June or July if that would be better
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
Ah “thoughts and prayers”
How useful.
I don’t have a frame of reference for what Christa went through, so I’m not going to go there.
Muff’s question related to how people could not seperate god and those ostensibly represent him.
I’m saying I get it. People have a right to question and they have a right to lose faith.
The bible says god did many amazing and wonderful miracles. It also states he sent a lot of punishment to an entire world – read flood and plagues etc.
In the case abuse, he just likes to watch and do nothing.
It’s up to us to act beyond “thoughts and prayers”. God won’t do it for us.
Silly me, there I go being self indulgent.
Better I do nothing or maybe “thoughts and prayers “
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
Don’t you know “I’ll Pray For You” is Christianese for doing nothing and feeling all Warm Fuzzy SPIRITUAL about it?
Thoughts and Prayers(TM) must be backed up with some sort of Action.
“You have a saying: ‘I’ll Pray For You’.
We too have a saying: PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS!'”
— Paraphrase of a tag line from Babylon-5
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
One of many reasons why Bill Gothard was/is so horrid is that his teachings pretty much blamed the victim for her own sexual abuse. If you didn’t cry out, at the time it happened, it was all your fault…
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127
But that’s SCRIPTURE(TM)!
Deuteronomy 22:23-24!
GAWD HATH SAID!
SCRIPTURE! SCRIPTURE! SCRIPTURE!
Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127