The Tycho Supernova -NASA
“The world is not fair, and often fools, cowards, liars, and the selfish hide in high places.” Bryant H. McGill
Thank you for bearing with me. My mother continues her decline and refuses to eat. She cannot speak except for a few words and cannot stay out of bed. It has been such a drastic change in two weeks. My children have been such a support to their “Grammy” during this time.
Recently, Christianity Today posted Should We Welcome Sex Offenders into Our Churches? which was written by Pastor Stephen Ko of the New York Chinese Alliance Church. This is part of the Christian and Missionary Alliance denomination (CM&A.) I read the article with great interest. This concern was raised within the church when a convicted sex offender visited the church. Pastor Ko reported the following, showing he wasn’t being naive.
Over 780,000 sex offenders reside in the United States—a country in which 81 percent of women have experienced sexual abuse, along with 43 percent of men. Sexually abused children know their perpetrators 93 percent of the time. And yet just over 30 percent of sex offenses are reported to authorities.
His conflict reveals a concern.
The pastor was conflicted. He is a pediatrician and a pastor and wanted to safeguard the children. On the other hand:
But at the same time, we wrestled with how Jesus would respond to this situation—especially knowing how he interacted with tax collectors, prostitutes, and other broken people on the fringes of first-century society.
A sex offender is not like a tax collector and the others. I agree that offenders are on the fringe of society. It is vital to understand that these folks have a profound psychiatric disorder that will stay with them until the end of their lives. The goal is to get them not to molest children even as they struggle with their disorder. I think Jesus would have responded to this situation more like He responded to the demon-possessed man in Mark 5:1-21. Here is an excerpt.
They came to the other side of the sea, to the country of the Gerasenes.1 2 Andwhen Jesus2 had stepped out of the boat, immediately there met him out of thetombs a man with an unclean spirit. 3 vHe lived among the tombs. And no one could bindhim anymore, not even with a chain, 4 for he had often been bound with shackles andchains, but he wrenched the chains apart, and he broke the shackles in pieces. No one hadthe strength to subdue him.
In other words, we currently have no proven method to heal a pedophile. There are methods available that may help the pedophile to control their impulses. But it involves the pedophile to be committed to a long and arduous process. Deep inside, they will struggle with this disorder. That is something that must be discussed upfront. For those who like slogging through research, the NIH produced The Neurobiology and Psychology of Pedophilia: Recent Advances and Challenges.
Pastor Ko agrees that this is a complex conflict.
So, unfortunately, there is no easy answer when it comes to how churches should respond to sex offenders who want to attend worship, participate in Bible study, or engage in other ministry gatherings.
He agrees that most churches cannot handle a pedophile, but I have one quibble.
That said, most experts agree sex offenders should not be allowed to attend a church if its leaders are not properly trained to ensure the safety of their children. This includes staff being educated on the habits of sex offenders—such as their potential to groom churches and take advantage of their trust—as well as being informed of all relevant state and federal laws.
I am not convinced sex offenders should attend a church even if the staff is adequately trained. I would assume most readers would agree that Sunday mornings are busy times. Watching what goes on in churches during the activities is most challenging. Can a church body be sure that everyone is doing their part in keeping an eye on the offender? Perry Noble’s former church screwed up in this area.
Should everyone be aware there is a pedophile in the congregation? Yes.
Pastor Ko did not say if they answered this question. He did quote from an unnamed rehabilitation model that stresses the individual’s dignity.
Rehabilitation models place a prudential value on the dignity and wellbeing of every individual, including their relationships, health, work, and other activities.
He speaks about the need for accountability with a trusted church member. This, he believes, would help the offender to avoid sexual temptations. Seriously? The pedophile will have the temptation for the rest of their lives. They must accept this fact.
By fostering a relationship of accountability with a trusted church member, a sex offender has more communal incentive to avoid sexual temptations and live a sanctified life. Accountability partners are present to listen and support.
Unfortunately, that does not go far enough, in my opinion. When Wade Burleson was a pastor, he was confronted by a similar situation. He came up with a great idea that would assist the church in seeing just how sincere the offender was about their repentance. He asked to hang a picture of the offender in several areas throughout the church. This helped him ascertain the offender’s sincerity in their wish to come clean. This is also a way to alert all attendees about the presence of a pedophile.
Are pedophiles “modern-day leppers?”
In his 2009 book, pastor Dick Witherow defines sex offenders as “modern-day lepers.” When Florida laws restricted where sex offenders could live in the state, Witherow expanded his existing prison ministry to help sex offenders re-enter society and reintegrate into congregations. After a series of setbacks, he bought a property in Palm Beach County to build Miracle Village (also known as City of Refuge), now the largest community for rehabilitating sex offenders in the nation.
Here is a short video on this community.
There was no cure for leprosy 2000 years ago. Today, Hansen’s Disease (leprosy) is curable with antibiotics. Also, most people are immune to the disease. But leprosy colonies still exist, although most have closed. Isolation, albeit sad, was necessary to prevent the spread of the disease.
There is no magic medicine to cure pedophilia. I can only hope that medications will be discovered one day to cure psychiatric conditions. Currently, there is no remedy, and isolation from their preferred target, children, may be necessary.
Statistics worth thinking about.
Sexual recidivism rates are 30 percent at 10 years but as high as 52 percent within 25 years. Knowing that statistics are likely underreported, these rates of repeated criminal behavior demonstrate how difficult it is to overcome this particular thorn in the flesh.
Can a church truly be trained to take responsibility for a pedophile during a service? What else could be offered?
I believe it may be too complicated to have an offender attend church on a busy Sunday morning. Here are some thoughts for those who are interested in helping such individuals.
- Have the offender watch services online.
- Have some men (or women) meet with the offender in adult-only settings for Bible studies, etc.
- Appoint a mentor who has been versed in issues surrounding sex offenders and have the mentor meet with the offender regularly.
- Perhaps some local churches could come together and start a church gathering for offenders. I have a feeling finding folks willing to do it might be tricky.
Finally
Years ago, I got an email from someone who claimed he was proud to serve a God who saved “pedophiles.” When I asked him if he was actively involved in ministering to such individuals, he didn’t answer. It sounds good, but no one wants to help the pedophile find Jesus. I believe the church has been forced to face its naivete when it comes to sex offenders in the church. The church is stupid when it comes to this matter. They claim God saves pedophiles and then have them serve as Children’s pastors or even as prominent pastors of churches.
I know it sounds so christianly to say God saves pedophiles. But who wants to put in the time to care for such individuals? It’s hard work. How many people eagerly volunteered to work in leper colonies? There are few easy solutions to the problem of sex offenders, redemption, and the church.
I wonder how the early church handled such folks, when challenged with the following teaching from Paul?
“Don’t you realize that this is not the way to live? Unjust people who don’t care about God will not be joining in his kingdom. Those who use and abuse each other, use and abuse sex, use and abuse the earth and everything in it, don’t qualify as citizens in God’s kingdom. A number of you know from experience what I’m talking about, for not so long ago you were on that list. Since then, you’ve been cleaned up and given a fresh start by Jesus, our Master, our Messiah, and by our God present in us, the Spirit.” (1 Corinthians 6:9-11 MSG)
Dee, I pretty much agree with everything you said.
I believe everyone should have an opportunity study, learn about, and come to know God, Jesus…..
but for pedophiles, it should be in an adults-allowed-only environment. I am very much afraid that many pedophiles want to be involved in a church just so that they can gain access to children.
We should never risk sacrificing our children on the altar of sympathy.
Paul also instructed the Corinthian church:
“What business of mine is it to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked man from among you.”” (1 Corinthians 5:12-13)
Dee, your Mom is beginning the transition. May it be easy for her and a time of joining and meaning for your family.
My last role in ministry was with the BSCNC as a denominational executive working with churches. Deacons from a church deliberated on this topic regarding a “reformed” adult sex offender. Could they be a graceful church and allow him to attend? The pastor said yes; the deacons said no. The deacons won; the pastor departed.
In terms of risk management, the deacons were correct.
I pray you will have time- even today- to hold her hand and tell her once again the ways her life enriched yours. It is a blessing to be granted such time.
Fisher,
I second that
Fisher,
Luckyforward
Thank you.
Dee–praying! Sounds like she may be at the start of actively dying. You have been a good daughter, still are, and are doing all you can do for her. I pray peace for you, and an easy transition home for her.
And as the parent of a child who was molested as an infant, part of why we were able to adopt that child, I probably have a biased perspective.
No, these predators do not belong in church. Shoot, I wouldn’t even ever free them out in society again.
Yes, Jesus can save them same as the rest of us. But the consequences should be never being in the presence of children any where, any time, forever. Even if it means lifetime incarceration.
Pajama church works for us oldies with health issues thanks to covid. It can work for them also.
dee,
I third it…….. And your family….. being so close. That speaks volumes about the closeness and love that you have for one another.
They should be escorted into church just like this:
https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/02/15/article-2101573-005803F700000258-981_468x378.jpg
Dear Dee, may the Lord grant your mother a peaceful, holy and painless passing into his fuller presence, and comfort and strength to you & family.
D.
Anyone who can ask that question has never seen a Virgin get outed.
There’s one option I don’t think you mentioned, with which I’m familiar as a retired pastor, and that is, sexual offenders are assigned a companion that is with them (always) when they attend services. These people usually have some training. Another, possible, option is for aging churches, consisting mainly of (elderly) adults, take in these folks. Due to the average age of members, such churches have no young families and kids. This option requires some real wisdom and prayer, as well as training and educaation. Still, though, no easy answers.
No easy answers for sure. And also, one size does not fit all. For example, how should a church handle a member who with a felony conviction for viewing child pornography and placed on the SOR. Certainly, a ‘secret sin’ which when finally brought to light was repented of. Do you trust the repentance? Allow that member to roam freely in the church? I’m interested in hearing some answers as well.
Dee, continuing in prayer as you sit with your Mother.
Concise, to the point, and I agree completely.
There’s a reason they have to register on a LE database for life.
Aging doesn’t diminish a pedophile’s proclivities.
My thought on whether a church should be informed of attending pedophiles…
If I can go online and see the names of sex offenders and where they live in my neighborhood, why is it so outrageous for churches to make their attenders aware of the presence of pedophiles
Also, I think all sex offenders and perpetrators of violent crimes should be identified in churches. Are not others (especially women) put at risk by their lack of awareness?
My thoughts would be assign 2 people to be with that individual at all times even if he or she has to use the restroom ( I would prefer a private bathroom somewhere in the church.) I do believe everyone should be aware of who he or she is and what they have done. They would be escorted after the service to their vehicle and observed till they left the property. I do believe that they can be truly repentant of their sin but never trusted to roam the church alone. If they are sincere then the above should not be a problem. Many sex offenders themselves were molested as innocent children and while they should have sought help, they didn’t or there were no resources at the time to assist them. There is still so much we do not understand ; I am in no way justifying what they did, they are responsible but anything we can do to show them that Jesus loves and can forgive without putting children in harms way am open too.
No second chances re: the opportunity to violate a child.
Therein lies the tension of most churches to handle this situation. Churches are in the Kingdom of God to preach the Gospel and be a house of prayer … that should be their primary focus. Outreach in their communities and around the world in Jesus’ name, while meeting the needs of members are secondary priority. Tertiary issues like keeping tabs on child molestors should not burden the church of its essential mission.
Leprosy happens to people. It has no bearing on the person afflicted with it. However…..pedophilia is a perverted sick evil twisted SIN not to be compared with a physical illness.
Jacob S.,
That was excellent, thank you for sharing it.
Muff Potter,
Unfortunately, I do not see it in the name of “sympathy”…. I see it, in some cases, as a “marketing tool”… see, we can ever reform “pedos”….
Growing up in my fundy/evangelical world, I saw to much “marketing” that our clan has all the solutions to the worlds problems…. They would love to have the testimony of the “depraved” saved by their flavor Christianity..…. And heaven forbid would that admit that they were wrong… one of the reasons, IMHO, we see all the disgusting stories on TWW..
Ava Aaronson,
Jeffrey Chalmers,
Very much agreed.
Altar of sympathy?
How about the altar of stupidity?
The QUESTION brings us all to that place before the Cross where we are ‘broken’ in so many different ways, some ‘more acceptable’ to our ways of thinking than others especially those ‘ways’ that involve the torment of the innocent who cannot speak for themselves or protect themselves from ‘evil’ . . .
and we come to the Church to be healed by looking upon Him Who was slain and grieving for our part in it,
and God sends down the spirit of repentance, of renewal . . .
But what is ‘known’ in our broken world is that child predators may not be ‘treated and cured’ of that which has altered them from the rest of us ‘sinners’ . . .
is it a ‘mental illness’ or the result of having been a ‘victim’ of abuse themselves that has ‘altered’ their humanity so profoundly – the effect of an evil ‘permitted’ to attack with such viciousness the very humanity of all human persons that are instinctively protective of the young, if nothing more than for the preservation of our species????
Evil exists. We, who see ourselves as ‘better than those other sinners’ may be in ways worse afflicted than we know, and in need of some deeper healing at the core of our souls that forget the truth of ‘but for the grace of God, there go I also’ . . .
God have mercy on the broken who have no way to be ‘fixed’ in our human universe, and God have mercy on the ones of us who cannot have even a modicum of pity for their fearsome existence . . . who ‘chooses’ that hell? I don’t know the answer to that.
What is ‘known’? That we must PROTECT our innocent from them what are predator at their core, though at some level, some may not have ‘chosen’ that monstrous burden, and may we find in our own heart some modicum of pity for them what wishes they could be healed in some better world than this.
That.
I love that phrase, Linda. 🙂
Max,
Max,
there is a belief that it is SINFUL to have a tempted person continue in an environment where it is known that they will be tempted AGAIN . . . hence, for ANY pedophile, to be in a ‘church’ that has young children might be the wrong thing to do morally and ethically . . . . simply because we are all asking of God ‘lead us not into temptation’, so it makes sense that we do not do that to vulnerable pedophiles by saying it’s ‘okay’ for them to ‘attend’ a church that has young children
Hi Max, a good answer but it doesn’t have to be either or. Every church has to evaluate what its mission is and what it can do. Charity starts at home, too often churches do great work overseas and leave their neighbors to languish. If a church wants to show mercy and grace to a child molester who is willing to do all a church requests and be with 2 chaperones throughout the service then whom am I to condemn them.
Chuckp,
I would never condemn anyone who makes an effort to restore the fallen … that wouldn’t be the Christian thing to do. A great deal of discernment is needed in situations like this and should only be undertaken by those who know who and what they are truly dealing with. Legal courts deal with ex-cons who “get Jesus” to demonstrate good behavior in prison for early release and who commit crimes again to end up back behind bars. TWW has reported on lots of “cons” in both pulpit and pew.
Jacob S.,
I have decided to eliminate the link in your comment. Jennifer reported me and another person to the police. You may read it by putting her name in our search engine. I’m sorry.
dee,
Dee, in that case, I retract my comment about her post. I had never heard of her before and I wasn’t following TWW back when that happened. I’m truly sorry.
Any church that wants to minister to a pedo is free to do so. Simply put, visit them. Perhaps several adults can hold a Bible study with the pedo in a safe, non church location. The church folks can have daily fellowship and contact with the pedo if they feel so called.
But keep them off campus and away from children.
After all, nobody will be in heaven because they attended a service at a local 501(C)3 organization. We can show mercy without pretending the perp did nothing wrong, or pretending there are not lifelong consequences of their actions.
christiane,
What does all that have to do with the price of coffee beans in Costa Rica?
The point is that child sex offenders should have NO ACCESS to the kids of a congregation.
Muff Potter,
Muff Potter,
Muff,
I stand by my comment, this:
“What is ‘known’? That we must PROTECT our innocent from them what are predator at their core, though at some level, some may not have ‘chosen’ that monstrous burden, and may we find in our own heart some modicum of pity for them what wishes they could be healed in some better world than this.”
‘there but for the grace of God . . . ‘
we all are sinners, some carry burdens they did not ask for . . . why does God do this? Is it perhaps to see how the rest of us ‘point the finger’ with a hubris that claims we are ‘better than those other sinners’?
Pride finds us out. I can understand very little, except that there is no ‘earthly’ cure for pedophilia, and we MUST protect the little ones from that monstrous affliction . . .
but it helps to REMEMBER with some humility that ‘there, but for the grace of God, go I’ . . . that helps to control our own hubris about being ‘better than’ . . . if we can say that we do not understand why some of our kind carry such a horror within themselves not of their own choosing . .
What makes us ‘humane’? What keeps us humble before the Lord? There are things we may not understand in this life, no. May God have mercy on us all.
Those who can find compassion in their hearts for the pedo can always meet with them outside the church, somewhere children will not be present. Homes work. Offer fellowship with phone calls. Zoom it in.
It isn’t a choice: either we protect the kids or we minister to pedos. We can do both without ever allowing a known child molester inside the door of the building, or around children.
All sins can be forgiven. Some sins have lifetime consequences. This should be one of them.
Agreed. Churches which desire to intervene with pedophiles should do so as an “off-campus” ministry.
Well said, Linda, and I appreciate this moral clarity. As the folks at GRACE say, “Abuse is a sin not like other sins.”
Dee, you write,
>> Unfortunately, that does not go far enough, in my opinion. When Wade Burleson was a pastor, he was confronted by a similar situation. He came up with a great idea that would assist the church in seeing just how sincere the offender was about their repentance. He asked to hang a picture of the offender in several areas throughout the church. This helped him ascertain the offender’s sincerity in their wish to come clean. This is also a way to alert all attendees about the presence of a pedophile.
Do you know how this went, both with the pedophile in question and with the larger church?
Re: this part of the article you cite:
“But at the same time, we wrestled with how Jesus would respond to this situation—especially knowing how he interacted with tax collectors, prostitutes, and other broken people on the fringes of first-century society.”
First of all, agreed with your: “A sex offender is not like a tax collector and the others.” Right on. Such a problematic comparison.
Also, when wrestling with how Jesus would respond, what about the whole thing Jesus said about the millstone? (Which the article mentions.) Doesn’t that at least suggest Jesus might not welcome child abusers into his public entourage, especially given the presence of children near Jesus?
Abram Kielsmeier-Jones,
I have enjoyed reading your thoughts. I believe that Wade did hang a picture or two. I did not ask if the offender stayed in the long term, but I will drop him a note about that.
I
I think you are correct. I do not believe He would have an offender near children. Jesus did not demand that lepers stop being isolated from the population.
Thanks, Dee.
The other thing that gets me about all this: if a child sex abuser is truly repentant, there is a *change* of heart and a *change* of mind, and that change of mind (if the repentance is true and the self-awareness is really there!) should include an understanding of how problematic that offender’s presence would be in public spaces where there are children. So not only should a truly repentant sex offender be *okay* with not attending services where children are present; a truly repentant offender should be the FIRST person advocating that they not be present with children. Accepting it as the consequences of their sin, and as a way to promote the well-being of children in the congregation.
Why we are so afraid to place this expectation on abusers? It makes me sad, for the children.
This is the best comment of the week. It’s got me thinking. What does true repentance look like, especially in a person who has lived a life of deceit to get access to children for heinous acts? I wonder if anyone has done work in this area. I will put it into a rough draft for a future post. I need to look into it. If you have seen anything in this area, let me know.
Does any Wartburger know “a person who has lived a life of deceit to get access to children for heinous acts”, who then demonstrated true repentance? If so, what does it look like? Is true repentance possible for someone whose conscience has been seared with a hot iron, who has lived the deepest human depravity by abusing little ones, who Jesus referred to when He said “it would be better for him if a great millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea”?
dee,
the principle is called “avoiding the near-occasions of sin” and its a commitment made when confessing a sin that is apt to recur if an individual hangs out with the same people and in the same place . . . .
it’s also called ‘common sense’
Max,
Please be careful when using “The Message.” It is NOT the Bible. It’s not even truly a Christian document. The “translator” put in a direct quote from the Emerald Tablets of Thoth (google that one) in the Lord’s Prayer.
I am. I have most translations of the Bible, preferring my trusty old KJV Thompson Chain Reference as my “sword” of choice. I also frequently refer to the Amplified version and have found the J.B. Phillips translation of the New Testament quite helpful. If you follow TWW closely, you will find me quoting primarily from those translations. I only use “The Message” when it more clearly expresses the same interpretation of a particular passage I find in other versions of Scripture. I personally would not recommend TM as a believer’s primary Bible and it should only be used when passages are filtered through other versions. Thanks for reminding us to be careful with TM.
Mercury,
Now you’ve got me thinking.
I’m a free-thinker, always have been, which is why I didn’t last long in fundagelicalism.
They do not tolerate free-thought.
I’m gonna’ look into The Message and see what the buzz is.
Same with the Emerald stuff.
Is it all that bad? Or just a victim of medieval superstition and no more dangerous than Toto and The Emerald City?
I’ll decide for myself.
True repentance is possible for anyone, since it is God Who leads us to it. Even a person who could heinous things to a baby, like my child suffered, is a candidate for repentance, for
salvation, and for a thoroughly changed life as a new creation in Christ.
That said, their life on this earth will never be what it was before they offended, nor should it be. If they are truly a new creation they will be the first to realize that sad fact. And they won’t put themselves in a position to be so tempted again.
But if there is no hope for them, there is no hope for any of us. None of us fully know how our own sins have destroyed others.
But Jesus won the battle and is far stronger than the devil and his minions and can cleanse any heart.
That.
Potential Trigger Warning?
I edited Linda’s a bit….and I added the word “almost” as a qualifier because those who’ve committed the unpardonable sin cannot be saved, redeemed, etc.
I know there are many interpretations on what the unpardonable sin actually is….
And MANY people have twisted the Bible and Scripture into their own interpretation of what the unpardonable sin is….
And my apologies for not giving more of an explanation of the unpardonable sin….and I’m NOT trying to start a flame war (etc.)….I was just wanting to express appreciation for what Linda wrote, although I wasn’t in total agreement, hence my editing of her comment.
I’ve known two people who’ve committed the unpardonable sin….I wish they hadn’t, but it was they’re choice. I don’t envy them when they physically die….
researcher,
Typo….Linda’s comment a bit
In practice, it’s “Whatever YOU do that I don’t!”
Headless Unicorn Guy,
Blaspheming Holy Spirit by faith and morals, which is self-non-pardoning per se, is a hazard of church leaders big and small.
ChuckP,
A certain man had, we were later told, confessed to police about circulating evil pictures. It was noticeable that he and his wife were always accompanied by two other strangers and that they always stayed in one corner of our space (where I attended at the time). Once his sentencing was announced in the press in another town, we each received an explanatory letter.
The situation when he is / was released will be to find an equivalent number of companions every time – and preferably visit him at his home – indefinitely. In case he wants to change churches there is then an applicable case for the Presbyterian system of one’s reputation going before one. Then why do churches stampede the susceptible into churchianity with so little information, and denigrate agnostic intelligence?
I think that the man described had come to Christ latterly in full knowledge that it wouldn’t make material difference. I left that fellowship for unrelated reasons.