EChurch@Wartburg 08.27.22: Farr Curlin, MD: “Helping patients who are dying or helping patients to die?”

A 19th-century prayer link

O almighty and eternal God my Lord and my Creator,
I offer to your Divine Majesty my every thought, word, action and suffering.
As often as I draw my breath, as often as the blood circulates in my veins at every pulsation of my heart,
I offer it to you. Accept, O Lord, this humble offering.
Amen

St Augustine: Prayer to the Holy Spirit link

Breathe in me, O Holy Spirit,That my thoughts may all be holy.
Act in me, O Holy Spirit,That my work, too, may be holy.
Draw my heart, O Holy Spirit,That I love but what is holy.
Strengthen me, O Holy Spirit,To defend all that is holy.
Guard me, then, O Holy Spirit,That I always may be holy.
Amen

The Nicene Creed

We believe in one God,
the Father, the Almighty,
maker of heaven and earth,
of all that is, seen and unseen.

We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ,
the only Son of God,
eternally begotten of the Father,
God from God, Light from Light,
true God from true God,
begotten, not made,
of one Being with the Father.
Through him all things were made.
For us and for our salvation
he came down from heaven:
by the power of the Holy Spirit
he became incarnate from the Virgin Mary,
and was made man.
For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate;
he suffered death and was buried.
On the third day he rose again
in accordance with the Scriptures;
he ascended into heaven
and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead,
and his kingdom will have no end.

We believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the giver of life,
who proceeds from the Father and the Son.
With the Father and the Son he is worshiped and glorified.
He has spoken through the Prophets.
We believe in one holy catholic and apostolic Church.
We acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins.
We look for the resurrection of the dead,
and the life of the world to come.
Amen.


The following lecture is part of a series created by the Theology, Medicine, and Culture Initiative at Duke Divinity School entitled, “Jesus and Medicine: What Does Christianity Have to Offer Healthcare?” Dr. Farr Curlin, co-director of the Theology, Medicine, and Culture Initiative, is a hospice and palliative care physician who joined Duke University in January 2014, where he holds joint appointments in the School of Medicine, including its Trent Center for Bioethics, Humanities & History of Medicine, and in Duke Divinity School.

I have had the privilege of hearing Farr speak for our Christian medical group on several occasions. He is a wonderful man: quiet, thoughtful, and humble. I hope that comes through in this talk.

 

Benediction: Jude 24-25

Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling,
and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy,
to the only wise God our Saviour, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever.
Amen.

Comments

EChurch@Wartburg 08.27.22: Farr Curlin, MD: “Helping patients who are dying or helping patients to die?” — 38 Comments


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    Thanks, Dee. Prof. Curlin’s talk is thought-provoking.

    “How to Die Well” … I don’t recall (and can’t imagine) encountering a Sunday School class on that in any of the churches I attended over 4+ decades. And it can’t be in high demand in present-day “youth-oriented” ministries either, I guess.

    Come to think of it, I don’t recall intentional instruction on “How to Live Well” either. Perhaps that’s part of the problems of the churches in recent decades; we’ve taken our cues for “living well” (and perhaps also for “dying well”) from the wider culture, rather than seeking to image something more congruent with the Creator’s purposes.

    Again, thanks.


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    The things Dr Curlin proposes should be presented in the name of agnosticism. The young don’t believe (east of the Atlantic) because their grandparents were deceived by the resurgents.

    Music should be played to patients in a coma. Authorities don’t have the right to kidnap a patient’s body if the patient’s relatives want to move the patient to a more home-like nursing place where they can accompany them out of this world in peace. This should not be subject to adversarial proceedings. It’s commonplace for certain medical equipment, judiciously chosen, to be loaned to the home environment for a while.

    People of religion seem to have lost both good sense and any spiritual discernment so of course the establishment can’t get any sense out of them.

    A patient that dies goes to pray for the rest of us which we need: but people of religion don’t believe that any more.


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    One of my friends in Canada had untreatable and fast-moving lung cancer in 2015. She was terrified that she’d be forced to remain living against her will because of some health policies in effect under the then-current government. So she made the considered decision to go to Switzerland to commit suicide. She had to go round and collect all sorts of paperwork to prove who she was (not easy, as she’d come to Canada as a 15 YO refugee in 1964), she was in her right mind, her condition was terminal, etc. Then she went to Iceland first for a few days, and after, on to Geneva where she went through with it.

    I still think she was enormously brave for doing what she did. It seemed a heck of a lot more active than the six days I sat in a room at hospice keeping watch, waiting for my father to die the year before. I still wonder if we couldn’t have done something differently.

    Just My Personal Opinion.


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    I believe that medically assisted self-termination should be allowed for any terminally ill patient who wants it.
    I see nothing god-honoring whatsoever by forcing the terminally ill to remain on morphine and high-tech life support machinery. It’s cruel, it’s inhumane, and it makes no sense.


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    Worth repeating:

    Benediction: Jude 24-25
    Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling,
    and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy,
    to the only wise God our Savior, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever.
    Amen.

    From the discussion questions: “Basil warns against Christians putting all ‘hope for health’ in the hands of doctors. What is your experience?”

    In the ICU with a family member, our family has seen, in ONE night, one doctor saying, “Now it’s time to pull the plug? People come here to die, you know,” AND then the doctor on the NEXT shift declaring, “OK, now we do a heart transplant?”

    Ah, no to both. Our family declined both doctors’ recommendations.


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    Muslin, fka Dee Holmes,

    Muff Potter,

    Ava Aaronson,

    Surely the point of morphine was palliative? The lady that went to Switzerland, while casting no aspersions on “suicide” was she ac tually doing that? Was she looking for exactly the needed palliative care when dying that she was being denied?

    It’s industrialised neurosis to deny anyone human company to go where they are going whether to the next world or to health.

    Officialdom and commerce have either abolished palliative care outright or are undermining it by these sick antics.

    Was there earlier a philosophical basis for “life support”? If so, can this be kept in review rather than ignored?


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    Yes indeed, very thought-provoking. Thanks, Dee.

    Honestly, I keep flip flopping on the issue and in regard to last wishes and final instructions I range from ‘they’re not going to get rid of me that easy’ (re: no extreme measures) to ‘do I really want family members, whose views are often very different from mine, make all my end of life decsions?’ Yet I realize, being in my 7th decade here on this earth, perhaps all decisions will soon be taken from me. I keep going back to the talk presented in last week’s echurch when the presenter said, in regard to medicine/health care, we must not only consider the how, but also the why.


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    Many years ago I discovered the “5 Wishes” directive and my family is aware of my last wishes documented in it.

    [quote]Five Wishes is an easy-to-use legal advance directive document written in everyday language. It helps all adults, regardless of age or health, to consider and document how they want to be cared for at the end of life. It is America’s most popular living will with more than 40 million copies in circulation.[/quote]

    https://store.fivewishes.org/ShopLocal/en/p/FW-MASTER-000/five-wishes-paper


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    a person’s choices . . . yes

    as in that prayer of a child, this:

    ‘NOW I LAY ME down to sleep . . . ‘

    and the resulting trust in God to care for the sleeping child

    In our Christian faith, is it a perversion to seek suffering unnecessarily, especially when the severe suffering is that of ANOTHER, and not our own selves????
    ‘God’s Will’ is often used as an ‘out’ from our own responsibilities but when death is imminent and suffering is great, and a person has ‘had enough’ of painful agony,

    what is wrong with a child of God saying ‘NOW I LAY ME down to sleep’?

    I have thought about this. I have no answers. Just a childrens’ prayer to ponder.


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    This is a depressing topic. Part of my sorrow in thinking about this is my sense that often the perhaps permanent relational separation that death brings has been presaged by long relational alienation. Prof. Curlin mentioned the importance of preserving the faculties and speech function of the dying for the sake of seeking reconciliation while there is still time. It’s a sorrowful thought that it can take the prospect of death to make people willing to forgive or to seek forgiveness.

    This brings me back to the thought that in addition to thinking about “how to die well”, it may be very important to give careful consideration to “how to live well”. “Living well” in the sense of honoring the Creator’s intentions for what human life is meant to be (an enormous topic, my thumbnail sketch would be that Jesus, the exact representation of God and the brightness of His glory, can also be regarded to be a “template” for what the Creator wants humanity to be) might be something Christianity could offer to Medicine (aligned with Prof. Curlin’s statements about promoting healthy function).


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    Samuel Conner: This brings me back to the thought that in addition to thinking about “how to die well”, it may be very important to give careful consideration to “how to live well”.

    Same here. Talk of dying puts living into perspective.


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    Oh man… we have over-medicalized death and dyying to the point that so.many.people. suffer unnecessarily and needlessly – and for what reason?

    This topic hits all kinds of nerves for me, especially in regard to my grandparents and parents. I can’t write about it publicly, it’s too hard. Life is often ptrolonged for years, and not just in the ways bfeing referred to per terminal illnesses.

    What would you do if someone you love deeply began experiencing severe, psychotic hallucinations due to the progress of dementia? (That’s not some kind of trick question – i can assure you that it’s a very real and entirely plausible situation.)

    Last month i had to say goodbye (for now) to my dear rabbit friend. She’d been with me since February 2014 and had both kidney issues and, apparently, cancer. So i did the only thing remaining to me per showing my love and care for her. Our vet it wonderful and was with us the entire time. My bunny passed with me holding her, resting my face against hers, hearing me tell her that i love her. It was extremely peaceful and, in its own way, beautiful.

    I only hope that, should i be facing a similar situation myself, i can choose how i would like my life to end. It’s pretty much a given that I’m not thinking of prolonged palliative care or being hooked up to a bunch of machines that sustain biological existence while demonstrating their complete failure to provide any kind of meaningful *life* for a patient. That’s just so wrong.

    Anyway…as you were.


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    Also… that phrase “a good death” is really triggering. A good death for whom? For the person dying, or for those who love them and will be grieving them?

    Death isn’t pretty. It’s a shock, a rending, as well as being a natural process we all must deal with.

    When my mom passed from C19, i was allowed to sit with her, decked out in full PPE, before she left the planet. It was devastating and would have been much more so if a) i hadn’t been around my father when he was dying, many years before and b) if COVID had been hard on her. It actually wasn’t, and she was so frail (being almost 97) that it could have been any infectious disease, really.

    But it’s still very, very hard for the folks who are losing someone they love to see the dying process as it progresses.

    All that said, I’m SO grateful that i could be with her.

    But i truly question this business of “a good death.” It can be agonizing for the dying person, after all. Setting standards to live up to seems like the exact opposite of what’s helpful for the one who’s dying as well as the folks left here to mourn them.

    I have probably said too much already, but gosh. I do hope these thoughts count for something. It’s my experience – and every loss is different. Every experience of grief and the grieving process is different. YMMV.


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    numo,

    It appears my attempt to share medical Christian beliefs in action has not gone well for you. Let me just say this simple thing. I was involved as a nurse and as a family member and I have seen “bad” deaths. Farr spelled that out in the video.
    I do not believe in euthanasia, and you will not see that promoted here. I understand you want your choice to end your life if you so choose. There are a number of blogs and US states which advocate for the right to such an end.


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    Numo,
    I’m so sorry about your loss. I know you loved your dear pet. I know you are grieving as you would for a child you cared for, yes. Please accept my condolences. I will pray for you to know the peace that comes from having done the right thing out of love for your dear one.

    very sad for you


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    dee,

    I’m not trying to oppose you, Dee. It’s just an awfully hard topic for me, especially right now. There’s other stuff going on that is unrelated, but super-stressful. And I have to see it through, so I guess it might have been better if I hadn’t commented. I’m sorry – truly, I was in tears as I was typing.

    Since you’re a nurse, I believe you per bad deaths.

    The head honcho @ That Church had all kinds of Puritan-era books and tracts on “a good death” that he’d bought in used bookstores (in England) when he was growing up. And that’s where my problem with the phrase and concept come from. I’m sure you’ll understand that he put expectations on people when he preached about it.


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    christiane,

    Christiane, thanks so much. I do grieve, and I miss her tremendously, but I know I made the right decision for her and feel at peace about it. My 1st bun didn’t have an easy death, and I wasn’t there with her. Like Michiko (the bun who just passed), she was elderly and I’ll. If I had things to do over again, I’d handle it differently. This comes partly from having had to make palliative care decisions about my mom, a year in advance of when she actually passed.

    My mom’s assisted living facility + nursing home is run by the Church of the Brethren – one of the German Anabaptist denominations here in PA. It’s an excellently-run place, and their end of life care is the best. Just the fact that they allowed me into their COVID isolation ward to be with her speaks volumes about their approach. So… they do try to help as much as they can for everyone, both the individual who’s dying as well as family members.

    I just do see things that the medical establishment tends to do with many dying people that I don’t want for myself. And I’m at an age where I need to get the necessary paperwork together for myself, as there’s nobody here who can advocate for me in the way that I advocated for my mom for over 15 years. I’m the last surviving member of my immediate family, and the closest members of my extended family are over 1500 miles away. So… While I’m not necessarily an advocate of euthanasia per se, I do think that in certain cases, it should be an option.

    The other thing is that I am physically so far away from any family that, like many people, I may well be on my own when my time comes. Which is related to how I was there for and with my bunny when she was pts last month. It’s likely that nobody will be there with me when I draw my last breath. That’s a hard thing to face.

    But I do wonder if it’s time to reexamine some of the ways we perceive – or perhaps misperceive? – euthanasia and humans. I’m just throwing that out there; I have no answers, only questions.


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    Samuel Conner: “How to Die Well” … I don’t recall (and can’t imagine) encountering a Sunday School class on that in any of the churches I attended over 4+ decades. And it can’t be in high demand in present-day “youth-oriented” ministries either, I guess.

    Because when you’re YOUNG, you KNOW you’re NEVER going to get old and die!

    Come to think of it, I don’t recall intentional instruction on “How to Live Well” either.

    Me, neither – at least not during my time immersed in-country.
    There it was always Rapture and Great Tribulation in exquisite detail, with fear and guilt manipulation.

    Thing is, I wanted “How to Live”, and all I got was End Times Prophecy Being Fulfilled Even As We Speak. I don’t think I ever recovered completely from that.


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    numo: My mom’s assisted living facility + nursing home is run by the Church of the Brethren – one of the German Anabaptist denominations here in PA.

    I know of the (many) “Brethren” Anabaptist denominations in PA; one of my writing partners is a United Brethren minister.


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    Headless Unicorn Guy,

    United Brethren isn’t related to the Church of the Brethren. The latter, along with the Mennonites and the Amish,are the 3 German Anabaptist groups that emigrated to PA during the colonial period. (And then there were us Lutherans ) Church of the Brethren women wore distinct garb, similar to various Old Order Mennonite groups, back when I was young, but that custom has since died out. The Church of the Brethren have always been the smallest of these immigrant churches by far.


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    I think you have to be careful about the use of “Brethren” in the names of denominations, much the same as with “Baptist.”

    Just b/c someone uses part of another denomination’s name doesn’t mean that there’s a relationship there.


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    dee: I do not believe in euthanasia, and you will not see that promoted here. I understand you want your choice to end your life if you so choose. There are a number of blogs and US states which advocate for the right to such an end.

    I don’t think it’s a question (euthanasia) of being ‘promoted’ or not promoted here at TWW. I believe it to be an individual choice, and a genuine human right, not under the say so of the secular authorities, and certainly not under the aegis of religion.


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    I am of the opinion that heroic measures to preserve life is fraught with as many downsides as there are upsides.

    My grandmother went through open heart surgery at the age of 86. Just so she could live another 6 months longer. I don’t know if the surgery was her choice, the doctors pushing that, or her children. Regardless, it seemed to me at the time to be a colossal waste of resources which resulted in bad outcomes.

    The worst outcome was that she had to experience one of her sons take his life – which she would not have had to go through had she not had the open heart surgery. Prolonging life does not always allow for Good Things(TM) to happen.

    That said, my father-in-law had open heart surgery in his early 90’s and lived for 12 more years. The open heart surgery enabled much good.

    At the age of 94 when he could see that he was on the cusp of very bad (from his perspective) quality of life and could still do something about it, he took his life.

    It is a long story, but his manner of death over the course of 48 hours or so was quite astounding and redemptive in nature.

    When people are dying there are no simple, and certainly no pat, answers. Each situation has too many variables and nuances for there to be a one size fits all solution. Especially if the solution means that an institution is making the decisions and being guided solely by policies that cannot account for all possibilities.


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    numo,

    As to the main subject at the link, many PA Dutch of my grandparents’ geberation were at least partly fluent in the dialect that’s referred to in the article. Some were fluent.

    But theirs was the last generation where this was the case. They were born at the very end of the 19th c.-beginning of the 20th. Now nobody speaks the dialect outside of Amish and Old Order Mennonite circles, here and in some of the Midwestern states.


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    Muff Potter,

    I don’t think the case of Afterburne’s family member and others was “taking their own life” or “euthanasia”. It was availing of “palliative care” which concept and term officialdom and corporations (and their proxies) want taken out of use absolutely.


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    numo: United Brethren isn’t related to the Church of the Brethren. The latter, along with the Mennonites and the Amish,are the 3 German Anabaptist groups that emigrated to PA during the colonial period.

    My writing partner explained it to me this way:
    “You have Anabaptists.

    Mennonites are one step beyond Anabaptist.
    Old Order Mennonites are one step beyond Mennonite.
    Amish are one step beyond Old Order Mennonite.
    Old Order Amish are one step beyond Amish.
    I don’t think it’s possible to go one step beyond Old Order Amish.”


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    numo: Now nobody speaks the dialect outside of Amish and Old Order Mennonite circles, here and in some of the Midwestern states.

    And occasionally out in Southern California.
    When I was commuting by rail from Fullerton Amtrak/Metrolink station, once or twice a week we’d see a group of Amish on the platforms, apparently transferring from Amtrak Southwest Chief to Amtrak Surfliner. When I’d walk by them I heard them speaking German among themselves. Described them to my writing partner and he confirmed they had to be Amish.


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    Headless Unicorn Guy,

    Well, he’s correct, though i wouldn’t put it the way he did, especially since anabaptists in general aren’t linked in any way other than them not practicing infant baptism.

    The German, Swiss and Dutch Anabaptists who emigrated to PA in the 18th c. had similar views and beliefs.

    The Amish are, technically, Amish Mennonites. They came into being due to a church dispute/split among Mennonites in the Old Country. Almost all of them are of Swiss descent, and the dialect they speak is a form of Swiss German. (I’ve met native speakers of Swiss German who can converse with them, although their respective dialects have changed a lot over the past 250+ years.)

    The Mennonites in this country are *extremely* diverse, and that’s worth a book-length study in itself.

    Both of these groups have, since coming here, had a whole lot of church splits – that’s still going on. Outsiders don’t really see it with the Amish, since they meet in peoples’ houses. There are a few “New Order” groups in my neck of the woods that actually have church buildings, but they aren’t viewed as being Amish by most insiders. As with other locations where the Amish have settled, there are a variety of churches, with different rules and different garb. The valley where i lived from 2003-this June is where the group that is closest to the original, 17th c. Amish immigrants in beliefs and practice is located – and i mean, the closest in the Western hemisphere. They have very distinctive garb, including pants with a single suspender for the men, made out of linsey-woolsey or linen, homespun at that.

    Neither my mom nor i have ever seen anyone from this sect. They tend to keep to themselves.

    There were Amish in Switzerland until the late 19th c., when they literally died out. I’ve seen photos of some of them, and their garb was very different than what Amish people hear wore then and wear now. The women seem to heve worn Victorian-style mourning for their entire adult lives, but their clothing wasn’t “plain,” unlike that of the Amish, Mennonites (Old Order) and Church of the Brethren in my locale and in PA as a whole.

    The best sources on this are the lete John Hostetler (who grew up Amish but chose to be baptized Mennonite so that he could go to college) and Donakd Kraybill, who was one of Hostetler’s students. Hostetler’s diagram of the Amish, per sects and how conservative they were and still are (or not), is centered on the population where i live. Even us “fancy” Dutch are represented on the outermost edges of his diagram! It was quite surprising to see that, not least b/c Hostetler was very familiar with people and sects in large and small areas of Amish and Old Order Mennonite settlement all over the country.

    Anyway, i think your friend exaggerated a bit for emphasis. It’s not the way I’d explain things (as you’ve already seen), and doesn’t really take the difference betwern sects within the same group into account, plus differing cultures. But that is super-complicated and i freely admit my ignorance on it!


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    Headless Unicorn Guy,

    I’m not surprised. They live all over the country now, and there are some in several Latin American countries.

    One of the reasons that many moved to the Midwest in the late 19th-mid 20th c. is related to real estate development, the growth of towns, population increases overall – especially true of many folks who moved further west from Lancaster County, PA. Up here, in the mountains of Central PA, it’s still quite rural and the population is pretty stable. Nobody’s *had* to give up farming for other kinds of work, though some have chosen to do so. But the thing is, those who want to hang onto their farms have been able to. That’s not true of many Amish in or originally from Lancaster County.


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    * 18th century, not 17th century

    My bad!


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    numo,

    I’m with you numo.
    numo,

    Again, I’m with ya’ numes.
    For me, there is no such thing as a ‘good death’, whether it’s an old toothless grandmother face up in a rice paddy or a grunt bleeding out on the floor of a huey, or two of our beloved little dogs that me and mrs. muff had to have put down to end their suffering. Death is bad $|-|it all the way around.


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    Muff Potter,

    Hey, thanks. Two things, though –

    – the reason the phrase is triggering for me has everything to do with having to sit through orations (“sermons”) on “holy dying,” as elaborated on by somf prominent English Puritans. The head honcho of That Church had a whole mess of Puritan treatises and pamphlets he’d bought in used bookstores while growing up, in England. There were a *lot* of expectations being placed on both the dying person, as well as their families and close friends, in the Head Honcho’s preaching. Perfectionism about some sort of “beautiful death.” He even shouted down Dylan Thomas’s “Do not go gentle into that good night,” which is about the death of Thomas’s father. I guess none of us are supposed to feel anger sbout death and grief. Which is utterly unrealistic and inhuman.

    – having a beloved animal friend pts is hard, no question. But i feel at peace about the choice i made, b/c i made it before my rabbit became too ill. My vet says that it’s not hard to pts when people come in when they should. It’s when people wait too long that it’s truly agonizing for everyone concerned. And, per her, that’s more common than any vet would want. But we all want to hang on too long, too, i think.

    All i know is that my fears were dispelled by the way in which my Michi passed. And of course, i was right there with her. I’m so relieved that i was able to allow her a peaceful passing from this world to eternity.


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    numo: Also… that phrase “a good death” is really triggering. A good death for whom? For the person dying, or for those who love them and will be grieving them?

    Death isn’t pretty. It’s a shock, a rending, as well as being a natural process we all must deal with.

    Here’s a 2010 post and comment thread from the Internet Monk Arhcives on the subject, regarding the death from cancer of the original IMonk. Written by his widow.
    https://imonk.blog/2010/06/14/sometimes-its-just-plain-hard/

    Note: The comment threads on the original IMonk site were organized by reply threads. This was lost on the Archives; the comments are a simple list in descending date order (latest first) with no clue as to which comment was a reply to what.


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    Headless Unicorn Guy,

    Comment from the above IMonk Archive posting:

    “As a palliative care nurse I can offer some comment on all of the more hopeful stories that you are seeing about the peaceful deaths that others apparently witness. Yes, they do happen, occasionally. They are not the norm. In my experience these accounts are told because generally it is taboo to tell tales otherwise. People rarely want to hear the painful truth, and the grieving soon realize this. They realize that they are often isolated when others cannot face the grief in their eyes. Remembering these fleeting moments and extrapolating them to the whole experience of the dying process gives the grieving and those around them comfort and reassurance while preserving social relationships and the support they offer at a desperate, severing time.

    “Another observation is that these stories become, to some, the new memories for the living. This takes time. Sometimes a very long time. Sometimes they are constructed for survival. I often see the families of those I have cared for years later. More often than not the recollections have grown and changed from what I witnessed. A similar thing happens with recollections of childbirth.

    “For Christians I am often amazed at how many honestly believe that their faith somehow magically prevents them from suffering. They then assume that when a follower of Christ dies it is the culmination of faith that will result in a peaceful, kind death. When this does not happen they are sometimes immobilized with the double shock of loss and what seems pointless suffering for a believer.

    “Each journey is unique and cannot really be judged looking in from the outside. I don’t want to sound trite or intellectual about what you are going through. I am deeply sorry for your loss and praying for your journey.”


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    Headless Unicorn Guy,

    THIS

    Many thanks, HUG.

    I vaguely remember this comment from way back, too.


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    numo: Perfectionism about some sort of “beautiful death.” He even shouted down Dylan Thomas’s “Do not go gentle into that good night,” which is about the death of Thomas’s father. I guess none of us are supposed to feel anger sbout death and grief.

    It’s HOMEGOING! HOMEGOING! HOMEGOING!
    HAPPY! CLAPPY! JOY! JOY!
    HAPPY! CLAPPY! JOY! JOY!

    Just like all those Homegoing Announcements over at the Herman Cain Awards subreddit.
    Right between the calls for Mighty Prayer Warriors and the GoFundMe appeals.

    I experienced this sort of Egyptian River Cruise when my mother died of small-cell lung cancer in ’75. But at least that didn’t have God-Talk to raise it to Cosmic Importance.