This jumped out at me: “Wife alleges that Husband has been guilty of such inappropriate marital conduct toward her that renders cohabitation unsafe and improper.”

Oh my. Mere “burnout” does not result in an unsafe environment for a wife.

Relevant section from the 2010 Tennessee Code:

Title 36 – Domestic Relations

Chapter 4 – Divorce and Annulment

36-4-101 – Grounds for divorce from bonds of matrimony.

[…]

(11) The husband or wife is guilty of such cruel and inhuman treatment or conduct towards the spouse as renders cohabitation unsafe and improper, which may also be referred to in pleadings as inappropriate marital conduct; [emphasis added]

http://law.justia.com/codes/tennessee/2010/title-36/chapter-4/36-4-101

Headless Unicorn Guy wrote:

So… Wife Abuse or just a Honey on the side?

“Unsafe” makes it sound like much more than honey on the side.

refugee wrote:

Headless Unicorn Guy wrote:
So… Wife Abuse or just a Honey on the side?
“Unsafe” makes it sound like much more than honey on the side.

Another thought: unless the “honey on the side” exposes the wife to STDs… I suppose that could be considered unsafe, too. But I have the feeling that “unsafe” means rather more than that one particular risk.

refugee wrote:

But I have the feeling that “unsafe” means rather more than that one particular risk.

As in MoG’s a wife-beater?
I wonder if he’s going to get his Elders together and put Brandi under Church Discipline(TM) for daring to leave him.

May I suggest blacking out the names of the minor children from the complaint?

Headless Unicorn Guy wrote:

I wonder if he’s going to get his Elders together and put Brandi under Church Discipline(TM) for daring to leave him.

When all else fails, the threat of hell will usually work like a charm.

Unepetiteanana wrote:

Pete only said he was tired, not that there was marital misconduct on his part, now did he?

You’re right. He lied. A bold faced lie. He left, but was really fired. But he turned around and had a job in a few weeks. Isn’t that sweet.

And how is Marie treated? Like an unrepentant sinner. What did she do? She wanted to leave an abusive marriage.

The hypocrisy is beyond understanding . . .

My guess? “Unsafe” means some kind of abuse and “additional statutory grounds” is referring to a honey on the side.

Statutory grounds for divorce in TN are adultery, habitual drunkenness or abuse of narcotic drugs, desertion for a year or more, or conviction of a felony in addition to the “Inappropriate Marital conduct” already alleged in the suit.

Whoa just whoa. I thought this was due to Pete Wilson cheating on Brandi his wife. But the way the letter was written, it sounds like there was abuses going on in that relationship. Words like “unsafe” and stuff.

Assuming there is indeed abuse involved:

Brandi please expose the truth anyways. Or leak it to a friend and let that friend expose the truth on your behalf. Do it for the good of the other Christian who, like you, were abused by their neo-Calvinist/fundamental/sexist husbands.

The more of these abuse stories come out, the more the abuse victims will realize that they are not alone. That it is OK to tell their stories and people will support them. There are plenty of other Christians who loves the victims and are on their sides.

Remember that neo-Calvinists (and similar) are not the whole universal church. They do not represent Jesus, because they have lost their first love for God and first love for their neighbors. We will know true Christians by their fruits of love.

I know I am about to use this specific situation as a step to a soap box, but I will do it anyway: I think it is being demonstrated over and over again that “megachurches” are not healthy churches, and that (most, if not all) megachurch pastors have to compromise in too many areas in order to maintain both their positions as well as the size of their churches. For every one megachurch pastor who is doing things correctly, there appear to be 20+ who are not.

They may not all have mistresses, they may not all abuse their wives, they may not all be lovers of money, they may not all abuse their flocks, etc., but they all do one or more of the above.

I sincerely wish American Christians would rethink the current model of church and make the necessary changes in order make it less of a corporation and more of a community of faith.

Does Pete Wilson ex church hold to/part of the 9 Marks, Gospel collation crowd?

refugee wrote:

Another thought: unless the “honey on the side” exposes the wife to STDs…

Either/or/both.

I had an acquaintance married to a pastor. Her DOCTOR told her to divorce her husband because he kept giving her health/life threatening infections from all his affairs. She didn’t know about the affairs except for the health problems it was causing her.

In Brandi’s situation, I can see it being both or either. Bottom line, she isn’t safe in that marriage besides things being ‘improper’.

Yes, I get it that there is a double standard for pastors and their wives.
But still, all I have to say is:

“Go Brandi, GO! Fly! Be Free! Get out of that hell hole and be an example to all the other wives who are being taught that they are supposed to endure abuse for a season because God says so. God doesn’t say so. Therefore escape like a bird from the hand of the fowler.”

We nee more Brandis along side the Maries.
Women need to start throwing their weight around against these unjust system.

Jeffrey Chalmers wrote:

Does Pete Wilson ex church hold to/part of the 9 Marks, Gospel collation crowd?

Not 9Marx… They are an ARC church.

I’ve tried to figure out the ARC view on women. It seems that every ARC plant is founded by a husband/wife, who are called “pastors” when referred to together. Although individually, the dude is called “pastor Bill” while the wife is just “Sally.” Not Pastor Sally. Because…

They also have a group called ARC Women, for pastor’s wives and women in ministry. It seems to be a lighter form of complementarianism than 9Marx, but it’s still good to be a married dude in ARC. Because I’m not sure if a single dude would be considered a pastor, just because I’ve never seen a church planted by a single dude. Which, apparently, is what Pete now is.

dee wrote:

Names of children and current addresses redacted. Thank you all for letting me know.

Children’s names are still listed.

Burwell wrote:

I sincerely wish American Christians would rethink the current model of church

Personally, I feel that the biggest problem with the church model, even more than size, is the fact that an elder or senior pastor can be in his twenties.

I was part of a mega back in the day that did it right. But the senior pastor was in his 80s and had mega experience in overseas missions and other get-your-hands-dirty ministry situation. He actually was a senior/elder. Nothing like these fake elder/senior pastors we have now.

Don’t get me wrong. That mega church didn’t do everything right. It had many flaws and it’s size brought its own problems. But the flaws were not the ones you listed. They looked more like the imperfections of smaller churches only made bigger because it was bigger.

What we see now is young, wet-behind the ear pups aspiring to positions that they are not qualified for. For them it is all about positions, power, glamour, and money. Not ministry. They have not been tried in the fire of true ministry. They are just building their own kingdom using earthly business models.

IOWs it’s about way more than just size.

Mara wrote:

IOWs it’s about way more than just size.

I agree with you on this. I don’t have a problem with a larger church. I’ve seen megas described as 2k or more and I think a 2k church is not a bad size at all and can be run well. I think a 100 person church could easily be more abusive than a 10k church. [Size wise, my personal cutoff would be ‘when you start building satellite campuses and streaming the sermon in that should just be a new church’.]

Mara wrote:

They have not been tried in the fire of true ministry.

I think this is the key. You could have a 29 year old leader who really has been through some life and learned things…who is humble enough to lean on and learn from his (true) elders in the church. But that is probably rare. A 20something fresh out of seminary should probably not be in charge.

But I don’t think age is truly the problem either. It has something to do with the lust for power, adulation, control, money…coupled with a lack of love for people.

@ Dave A A:
To clarify, churchleaders.com and expastors.com were 2 websites to promote the handwriting over Pete’s “burnout”. The latter posted an interview about his new job, which he described as being a cheerleader to pastors. Inquiries about his wife went unanswered.

Reliable inside sources say that story #11 was supposed to be “Collin Hansen Finds New Hair Stylist.” I’ll believe it when I see it.

@ Sergius Martin-George:

Your comment reminded me that I had followed the link over to the website of the TGC and read through the good Mr. Hansen’s list. Of course, #5 caught my attention (and is somewhat apropos to the above discussion):

5. What good is church authority if you can’t enforce it? – Leadership is granted by the led. Consider the crisis in the Roman Catholic Church where even the so-called vicar of Christ can’t force his progressive reforms on unwilling conservative bishops. Or the United Methodist Church, where African and Asian believers ensure the biblical standards for pastors won’t change but American liberals openly flout their sin. Or InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, which opted for voluntary disclosure over inquisition with staff who object to historical teaching on sexuality. What’s to stop any church member or even pastor from simply jumping to another church when authorities catch him in unrepentant sin? Though we know authority can be abused, church discipline is a means of grace. May God raise up leaders who enforce it with convicted humility and members who accept it with grateful sobriety.

Darn those pesky church members…not willfully submitting to autocratic and partisan church discipline. Why can’t they all be like Chip Diller (Kevin Bacon’s character in Animal House), who said, while receiving a paddling, as a pledge to Omega Theta Pi, “Thank you sir, may I have another” https://youtu.be/qdFLPn30dvQ

@ Sergius Martin-George:

Sherlock Holmes to Dr. Watson (The Hound of the Baskervilles):

It may be that you are not yourself luminous, but you are a conductor of light. Some people without possessing genius have a remarkable power of stimulating it. I confess, my dear fellow, that I am very much in your debt.

🙂

(Haha, I too thought of others, but not about the hair!)

It will be interesting to see what Mr Wilson’s counter suit says. I filed my divorce papers in Ohio and I learned that much of what is written on these documents is boilerplate. When my husband counterfiled – his papers said exactly the same as mine (although one could argue his papers were lies). Neither of us had to prove these claims where true – not in court nor at the hearings. The state requires a reason (boilerplate) to be on the document.

Where these terms/reasons might come into play is in negotiating the Settlement. The more 3rd party evidence Mrs Wilson has – the more potential she has to “stack the deck” in her favor in terms of visitation rights, custody (residential), support, etc.

As an additional example – when I filed for divorce, I got a temporary restraining order against my husband. Many thought this to be good news. He couldn’t come on my property, couldn’t harrass me, couldn’t take what was mine, couldn’t run off with our son, couldn’t sell what was mine, etc. Many got this confused with a Civil Protection Order based on previous unsafe encounters where life/property were at risk – written by the police department. Not so! And, when my husband (now ex) counterfiled – as a matter of due process – he got the same temporary restraining order against me. Boilerplate.

I’m not saying that Mrs Wilson doesn’t have a tale to tell and horrors to share. I believe she does! I just wouldn’t get too excited about language used in court documents. I would find her personal story much more insightful.

“Burn out” – excuse for sin… cough… tired of the reformed evangelical hypocrisy… sigh.
It’s sin, and probably all around in all types of organizations. We were told about these type deceivers, it’s not burn out… stop listening to these people and don’t trust their movements and denoms…

Unepetiteanana wrote:

Ah, yes. I have an Instant Checkmate account, and Pete bought his house in Franklin for $300,000 back in 2005. The house has 5 bathrooms … Must be a terribly tiring life making enough money as a mega church pastor to house your family in a home like that.

And he still has a ways to go to Keep Up with The Furticks.

When I homeschooled my 7 kids , from the time they could read until they were about 16 I went to some local church libraries and had them read ALOT of stories from Missionaries pre 1950. You can find these old libraries in larger dead churches and the librarians will be glad that someone wants to read them… anyway the point is this, my adult children can spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing in a second and have pretty much tagged modern missions as a money scam as well as lazy people who want to have there computer time paid for by others, pastors of today for the most part are in the same category in their mind. With that being said we also know that there are well meaning people who want to go into these fields not as a career but as a calling but Seminaries ruin them before they get a chance to really serve. My adult children don’t complain or harbor bitterness. They quietly go about serving others, they take mission trips on their vacations that THEY pay for and they do the work of Christ humbly through hospitality. Thank GOD for the influence of great men and women of the past who knew that being a pastor or missionary meant reckoning themselves dead and their lives are hid in Christ. Men and women that shunned the thought of a retirement because they knew heaven was their reward!( Heart matter) They showed the example of loving God and loving others as better then themselves!
Again I will say, lets all read our Bible with humility daily serve others beyond our comfort zones and simply enjoy Jesus. Time is short…
thank you for your work on this site exposing the areas of the church that need to come under the Blood.

P.S. I hope you don’t take this as bragging. I am just trying to share an example that worked for our family to insulate against wolves.

probably wise to cut out birth dates and home addresses to prevent identity theft… you know Brandi doesn’t need that.

A VERY interesting detail is included in the divorce papers:

r. Date of Separation of the Parties: August 1, 2016

Pete Wilson made his public announcement at the church on September 11, 2016.

There is always the same theme that runs in the old missionary books. Its not any different than today for REAL missionaries. The person called by God gets forgotten on the field by the institutional church. They suffer greatly physically and mentally BUT because they are truly called and are filled with His Spirit they press into Him making it possible to press on with the Gospel message. No participation awards, no salary to count on just the call and the joy of serving the Caller. I fear 3d world countries need to send real missionaries to the churches here in the states to teach us what real Christianity looks like. But would we stone them?? I do believe we would. God help us!

Even just a basic google search would have informed you that “inappropriate marital conduct” is a statutorily defined term under Tennessee law, that it is the most common ground for divorce in Tennessee, and that it has NOTHING to do with sexual indiscretion. Basically, it’s the most common because it’s the easiest to prove, so easy, in fact, that it is rarely contested by the other spouse. I’ve heard it said that there has never been and will never be a single marriage in which something which meets the definition of “inappropriate marital conduct” has never occurred.

Shame on you for engaging in baseless innuendo like this. It is quite possible that SHE, not he, is at fault for the breakdown of the marriage. There is no basis at all to conclude at this point that she has any Biblical grounds for divorce.

Bobby wrote:

Shame on you for engaging in baseless innuendo like this

No.

Shame on you for using silencing tactics to get people to stop talking about things you want to keep swept under the rug.

Bobby wrote:

Shame on you for engaging in baseless innuendo like this.

Pete lied publicly, both about his resignation and about his marriage being “fine”, and those lies have been exposed now, so it’s not exactly “baseless” to think he did something else wrong. It may not have been adultery, but if he’s a public liar, then there’s no telling what else he’ll do wrong. He has no credibility anymore.

Please come up with a better argument than that.

I know nothing about this guy or his wife. Never heard of him before, happened upon this story because there was a link to it on a blog I check from time to time. Have no dog in the fight whatsoever. Just calling it like I see it. And my call is that this post is biased, unfair, and lacking in substantive facts.

Mara wrote:

Bobby wrote:
Shame on you for engaging in baseless innuendo like this
No.
Shame on you for using silencing tactics to get people to stop talking about things you want to keep swept under the rug.

My question would be, is an STRO standard in TN to secure the status quo by way of assets, or more indicative of governing the conduct of the spouses?

Bobby wrote:

Have no dog in the fight whatsoever. Just calling it like I see it. And my call is that this post is biased, unfair, and lacking in substantive facts.

If you know nothing else about him, why are you calling everything baseless and biased? This is one of a number of articles about Wilson here, as they have been following their story for some time. I think either you aren’t telling the truth, or you just enjoy causing trouble. Either way, you really aren’t credible, either.

Dave wrote:

r. Date of Separation of the Parties: August 1, 2016
Pete Wilson made his public announcement at the church on September 11, 2016.

It was spin! What a surprise!

Such a sad author and group of folks you are on here. Whatever self-delusional sense of Christianity you attach to your own writing, reading, and/or commenting/participation on this type of article is completely misguided when the truth is this write-up serves as no more than running down a family and organization who are perhaps both struggling, mistakes made or not… and is no different than Kim Cardashian gossip on TMZ or National Enquirer. As someone unaffiliated with a specific Church, this type of board discourages me from believing in any of you. I’m quite certain no matter who might be at fault – neither Pete, Brandi, nor anyone in the Crosspoint Community would support publicly dragging ANY person’s family thru the mud during such a rough time… and make no mistake about it, this type of gossip forum is as hurtful to an entire family, not just who you perceive to be the perpetrator. Crosspoint and the community this family has built and inspired has delivered far more positive influence in Nashville and beyond than I would guess any single person on this board can claim. Perhaps you should all go spend a few hours trying to do something kind for someone who needs help, take a break from your Christian Gossip Column, and give this family privacy and respect to go through what will probably be the most difficult time in all of their lives, most importantly their children. The good this family has done for all of those around them over the years has at least earned them that. And before I am accused of allegiances, I’ve never met a single one of them personally.

@ Matthew Miller

Have a wonderful New Year, Mr. Miller. 🙂

Just a few thoughts…I have attended Crosspoint or watched on line over the last 6 years. (I do not live in Nashville, but visit family there) I was drawn to Pete’s inspiring messages and they actually helped me overcome tough times in my last 6 years. He, and the church, inspired me to be more charitable with time and money. I did notice a difference through the years though, Pete went from being more Christ-centered to more Pete-centered. The books, book tours, celebrity status, his material toys (ATVs, etc), happy times at his luxury cabin, pictures that showed him being more rich in material goods than a man dedicated to God. These, of course, are just my outsider opinions. Things just became “glossier” and maybe that is what a mega church is, idk? When he left the church in that peculiar speech, I felt it was not honest. All that has come out since, the A group position, Brandi separation, the scuttlebutt about affairs…it has all left me sad. Sins are not just for us lay people, pastors fall too, but what about the honesty? One of Pete’s most common phrases was “if I can be honest” , gosh he said that so many times in his sermons and books. I really wish he would be honest now, I think that’s all we, and God want. Show us you are just human, Pete.

Matthew Miller wrote:

I’m quite certain no matter who might be at fault – neither Pete, Brandi, nor anyone in the Crosspoint Community would support publicly dragging ANY person’s family thru the mud during such a rough time… and make no mistake about it, this type of gossip forum is as hurtful to an entire family, not just who you perceive to be the perpetrator. Crosspoint and the community this family has built and inspired has delivered far more positive influence in Nashville and beyond than I would guess any single person on this board can claim.

Not affiliated with any church? Go on. Pull the other one! I’ll bet you and “Bobby” have never met either. Woof Woof!

Sandra wrote:

One of Pete’s most common phrases was “if I can be honest” , gosh he said that so many times in his sermons and books. I really wish he would be honest now, I think that’s all we, and God want. Show us you are just human, Pete.

I feel for you in the disappointment you feel. I feel the same about some others I have known, as well as former churches.

I think the celebrity culture of Christianity is a big destroyer of lives in general, and you’re right, honesty is a valuable commodity in the church. And I wish those who help these people find other ministry positions so fast did not, but eventually it comes out they are doing things just as bad.

Mara wrote:

Bobby wrote:
I’m no fan of the contemporary evangelical church
The emotion and hostility in this comment scream otherwise.

OTOH, perhaps he’s telling the truth. I don’t see how these “leaders” *can* actually love the flocks they are *shepherding* (word chosen deliberately). I think they find the sheeple a big pain in the toucas, actually. I think of the “sheep” messages I have heard. “Sheep are so STUPID!”

If only the sheep would just follow the checklist, top to bottom. Tithe joyfully, the full ten percent as a minimum, with a goodwill offering from the heart above that amount. If only the sheep would live moral lives, not getting into trouble and then expecting the shepherding “leaders” to exert themselves to help. If only the sheep would not insist on the shepherding “leaders” living moral lives…

ishy wrote:

celebrity culture of Christianity is a big destroyer of lives in general

True. Pride goes before a fall, Proverbs 16:18. Setting a person (oneself included) on a pedestal fails from the get-go. History repeats itself, demonstrating God’s wisdom and warnings.

refugee wrote:

Now for a little sheepherding fun:

That was an amazing video.
Art in motion.

Matthew Miller wrote:

I’m quite certain no matter who might be at fault – neither Pete, Brandi, nor anyone in the Crosspoint Community would support publicly dragging ANY person’s family thru the mud during such a rough time… and make no mistake about it, this type of gossip forum is as hurtful to an entire family, not just who you perceive to be the perpetrator.

This excuse is often trotted out, but if it weren’t for fawning ‘why is this beautiful man being driven out of the ministry because it’s just so rough on a pastor out there’ articles I wouldn’t know who this was.

For men who supposedly care about publicity and families, they sure do take public jobs and interviews.

That’s leaving aside the question of whether Mr. Wilson should be teaching christian leaders how to lead, which is quite relevant. IF these folks would just take a non-ministry job and stay away from publicity, they would not need exposure.

Ken F wrote:

I have not wanted to comment on this thread because divorce is such a personal and family issues. But that fact that he makes himself such a public figure opens him up to such scrutiny. If he cannot hold his marriage together, which should he have such a prominent “leadership” position in ministry?

When the first thread came up, I was mostly interested in the odd PR campaign. It struck me as off somehow.

Now this just fits the pieces together. I wouldn’t ordinarily jump in on a private marriage issue, but the pr campaign bugged me. Why is it ok for church ‘leadership’ to blatantly lie to the public? Where is that biblical?

Bobby wrote:

Shame on you

At last somebody is talking sense to this community of embittered losers. None of you loves God properly like I do.

You’re all rubbish.
Up yours,
Roger Bombast

Matthew Miller wrote:

neither Pete, Brandi, nor anyone in the Crosspoint Community would support publicly dragging ANY person’s family thru the mud during such a rough time… and make no mistake about it, this type of gossip forum is as hurtful to an entire family, not just who you perceive to be the perpetrator.

So you skipped right over the Biblical passage that an elder in sin is to be confronted before all?

@ Nick Bulbeck:

bravissimo!

For the record, and I’m not defending Pete, but he is not a Calvinist or a fundie. I attended his church for over a year, and I attended a Calvinist church for several before that. Diametrically opposite approaches by the two pastors. @ CHIPS:

Published on Jan 5, 2017:
Wife of Ex-Cross Point Pastor Pete Wilson Files for Divorce, Claims ‘Inappropriate Marital Conduct’
http://www.christianpost.com/news/wife-of-ex-cross-point-pastor-pete-wilson-files-for-divorce-claims-inappropriate-marital-conduct-172595/#bLJPx2oXmG6USSXt.99

Spinner Ella wrote:

I can’t help but notice stories in the Bible when God uses sinners!

Let me guess, Pastor Pete is just. like. david.

@ Dave A A:
My opinion… Of course they didn’t know about the divorce, filed 6 weeks later. It’s just possible they did know about the separation, 6 weeks earlier.

Spinner Ella wrote:

This does note relate to the content at hand nor should it but is anyone else absolutely appalled that a site like this exists?!?

I’m appalled that a site like this needs to exist, Ella. It exists because self-styled church leaders and pastors aren’t serious about protecting and feeding Jesus’ sheep, and instead use, abuse or (at the very least) lie to them.

Dee and Deb have stated before: If the organized church got its act together, there’d be nothing for the Wartburg Watch to write about.

You people are all vultures..are your lives so perfect you need to search for the wrong in others?

Amy Smith linked a video on twitter of Pete and Brandi discussing their expectations for marriage and hers were all that they would be closer, spend more time together and have non-sexual touch and his were about a clear house and her wearing sexy clothes all the time. It is so frustrating to watch that sort of video with the end in mind, because you can see where some people might see it as normal ‘funny’ issues, but you can also look at it and see the problems in hindsight.

Lea wrote:

Amy Smith linked a video on twitter of Pete and Brandi discussing their expectations for marriage and hers were all that they would be closer, spend more time together and have non-sexual touch and his were about a clear house and her wearing sexy clothes all the time.

She wanted a husband.
He wanted Eye Candy and maid service With Benefits (nudge nudge wink wink know what I mean know what I mean).

Bridget wrote:

@ Bobby:
Hmmmm, why didn’t Pete Wilson tell the truth about why he left the pastorate? Why are there accusations against Pete regarding his conduct? It does not seem to me that Brandi is the one with sin issues . . .

Because ManaGAWD Can Do No Wrong.