Second. Maybe?

And like Velour, praying.

Praying for Naghmeh and the kids as well (and that God would graciously smack Saeed upside the head too).

Bart wrote:

This further confirms the poor character of Saeed (for those of us foolish enough to give him the benefit of doubt early on)

He certainly had many supporters.

Welcome, Toiler!

5. Saeed has a bizarre complaint about his rescue from prison.

He complains about the US not paying his airfare after being released from prison. That seems to be an odd complaint considering he was able to come home via private jet and landed near Billy Graham’s retreat center where he stayed for a time.

You know those people who get rescued from some sort of situation outside the USA and sent back to the USA? They have to pay for the trip back home. It’s not gratis.

Graham did not fly to Tehran to pick up Abedini. Rather, it appears the freed prisoners (remember, there were four of them) were flown to Geneva, and from that point they went their separate ways. This article about the release of Jason Rezaian indicates the released prisoners were flown out on a Swiss jet from Tehran.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/europe/jason-rezaians-wife-mother-describe-their-torturous-final-hours-in-iran/2016/01/21/be787310-bfad-11e5-98c8-7fab78677d51_story.html?hpid=hp_rhp-top-table-main_no-name%3Ahomepage%2Fstory&tid=a_inl

(read that for the games the Iranians played with the prisoners and their families, so annoying and stressful.)

The US has no real relationship with Iran, so the negotiations were handled through the intermediary of the Swiss government. So, I presume the US government was billed by the Swiss for the trip to Geneva (at minimum)–and that is standard policy. Saeed should not gripe about this!

H.U.G….he’s already a darling of The Christian Post!

Headless Unicorn Guy wrote:

He’s Hitting the Comeback Trail. What’s next?

ExPastors.com

Deana Holmes (fka mirele) wrote:

dee wrote:
I agree. I am actually glad that Saeed is getting out of their lives if he won’t respect restraining orders. That type of behavior worries me.
Not saying this will happen here, but there are situations where, in a divorce, one ex-spouse refuses to let go and ends up murdering the other ex-spouse, and sometimes the kids as well. Naghmeh needs to be aware.

I agree with Mirele.

Does Naghmeh have a copy of Gavin de Becker’s book The Gift of Fear, along with whatever other resources she is using in her life?

If “no” and Julie Anne or somebody knows her mailing address, I would be happy to buy this book for Naghmeh. I can always mail it to Julie Anne. Please advise.

I stand with Naghmeh.

Unepetiteanana wrote:

Does anyone else think God may have locked Saeed up in Iran, based on what we know now? When Naghmeh came out about his abuse, I couldn’t help but think maybe God was using this particular situation to turn around Saeed.

I’m thinking maybe God locked Saeed up so that Naghmeh could have a chance to save herself and their children!

I don’t know anything about either of these people aside from what I read in the article, and the fact that he’s asking for money to start a ministry to reach hundreds of thousands of people is a huge red flag to me.

There is a difference between counseling for anger and counseling for abuse. Naghmeh says Saeed refused counseling for abuse. Lundy Bancroft says that men do not abuse because they are angry. They are angry because they are abusive. Anger management courses do not help, because until abusers address their entitlement to control their partners, they are going to continue getting angry and continue acting abusively.

From an interview with Bancroft:

Louise: “You’ve written that abuse has more to do with an abuser’s mindset than with his history or his feelings – for example, you say abusers aren’t abusive because they’re angry, they’re angry because they’re abusive. Could you expand on that and why it’s so important for women to know?”

Lundy Bancroft: “The anger issue is closely related to the previous question. Many people believe that if they can figure out what is making the man so angry, he won’t explode. But his anger isn’t his problem — in fact, there are people with huge anger problems who don’t get mean or abusive — they’re just angry all the time. (Which isn’t good either, but it isn’t the same thing as being mean or controlling.)

His problem is that he thinks he has the right to control the woman’s life, that he looks down on her as inferior to him, and that he thinks her life should revolve around doing things for him — that she shouldn’t have needs and a life of her own. So making him less angry isn’t going to change how he treats his partner, because he’ll still have all those terrible attitudes. Some abusers can be extremely cruel without getting angry at all. So the anger is really a red herring.”

http://www.pandys.org/lundybancroft-transcript.html

dee wrote:

Headless Unicorn Guy wrote:
Speaking engagements a la Ergun Caner?
More info to come on ol’ Ergun in the very near future.

I’m not surprised.

I am thrilled he filed for divorce. She doesn’t have to go through the horror of many Christians blaming her for filing. He is also dangerous and typical of narcissists who think they are above the law. Especially when it comes to their children who they seek to control and manipulate. Tony Jones is an example who broke the law on visitation and won!

Headless Unicorn Guy wrote:

Speaking engagements a la Ergun Caner?

Wasn’t he one of those highly promoted dudes and circuit speaker around the Calvary Chapel brand?

Becky wrote:

Naghmeh says Saeed refused counseling for abuse.

Without getting into the discussion of abuse and/or anger counseling, just noting here for sake of accuracy that Naghmeh Abedini said Saeed Abedini refused counseling on both those counts. From her Facebook post (emphasis added):

It is with a heavy and broken heart that I inform all of you who have prayed and wept with our family the last few years, that Saeed has rejected counseling for anger and abuse and has filed for a divorce. There will be a time to share more fully, but for now, we appreciate your prayers.

https://www.facebook.com/NaghmehAbedini/posts/10154427546145767

abigail wrote:

If Saeed was raised over there…..this was bred in him since day one as a part of his culture. Anyone know if he is from there? If so, when did he come to the USA?

According to this somewhat out-of-date DeMoss marketing background article, Saeed Abedini was born in Iran in 1980, became a Christian in 2000, married Naghmeh in 2004, and they moved to the U.S. in 2005. (She had lived in the U.S. since fourth grade.)

https://demoss.com/newsrooms/aclj/background/backgrounder-pastor-saeed-abedini

@ Becky:
Anger is also a tool for the entitled spouse. The goal then becomes not to do anything to make them angry. It doesn’t work except to make the pliable person even more subservient which is the control goal of the abuser. They literally manufacture things (which isn’t hard when you view that person as existing to meet your needs)
to get angry about to feed that need for control and entitlement.

When Bruce Ware, from SBTS, taught that non submissive wives trigger abuse, I knew he had no clue or was purposely trying to blame women. It did not add up with what I had learned over the years with the DV crisis center and as an advocate.

He’s already changed his Facebook status to divorced. Scum.

Standing with Naghmeh.

@ Lea:

I hope that is not the case, but it looks suspiciously likely considering that they are already “apart.”

Unepetiteanana wrote:

Does anyone else think God may have locked Saeed up in Iran, based on what we know now? When Naghmeh came out about his abuse, I couldn’t help but think maybe God was using this particular situation to turn around Saeed.

I remember reading some comments on blogs from Christians in that area who knew him complaining that he had gone out of his way to court arrest- endangering them all in the process. Martyr syndrome? Need to be bigger than life? I don’t know.

siteseer wrote:

Martyr syndrome? Need to be bigger than life? I don’t know.

During my RCIA catechism in the Eighties, I heard that as canonization became more centralized and formalized, one of the things they’d look for when considering a martyr was whether he actively sought martyrdom. This became a disqualifier as there was no way to be sure whether the martyrdom was genuine or a church-respectable form of “Suicide by Cop”.