Welcome to a Gathering of EChurch@Wartburg
Here is our Order of Worship
Advent Prayer link
Advent God,
we journey with you,
to Bethlehem’s stable
and a new-born King,
ears attuned
to the song of angels,
eyes alert
for Bethlehem’s star.
Forgive us
if on our journey
if we are distracted
by the tempting offers
of this world.
Keep our hearts aflame
with the hope
of Christmas,
and the promise
of a Saviour.
Amen
Advent Prayer link
Almighty God,
give us grace to cast away the works of darkness
and to put on the armour of light,
now in the time of this mortal life,
in which your Son Jesus Christ came to us in great humility;
that on the last day, when he shall come again in his glorious majesty
to judge the living and the dead,
we may rise to the life immortal;
through him who is alive and reigns with you,
in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God, now and for ever.
Amen.
Luke 6:1-5 (NASB Bible Gateway)
Now it happened that He was passing through some grainfields on a Sabbath;
and His disciples were picking the heads of grain, rubbing them in their hands, and eating the grain.
But some of the Pharisees said, “Why do you do what is not lawful on the Sabbath?”
And Jesus answering them said, “Have you not even read what David did when he was hungry,
he and those who were with him, how he entered the house of God,
and took and ate the consecrated bread which is not lawful for any to eat except the priests alone,
and gave it to his companions?” And He was saying to them,
"The Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath.”
Advent Prayer link
Lord Jesus, light of the world,
born in David’s city of Bethlehem,
born like him to be a king:
be born in our hearts at Christmas,
be King of our lives today.
Amen.
Benediction link
May God the Father,
who loved the world so much that he sent his only Son,
give you grace to prepare for life eternal.
Amen.
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*******Major trigger warning for self injurious issues please be warned. *****
I will share something – I have to be a bit vague because of confidentiality, but all of the people I worked with back then have passed on. To a one they died very horrid deaths that lingered for months and years. I try to avoid emotions knowing Satan lurks inside almost every single emotion, especially grief, sadness, joy, hope, and well basically all emotions. I don't believe that but it was preached strongly in my younger life. A thanksgiving with some folks I worked with at the developmental center, I worked a double on thanksgiving, which means the day and evening shift. So I brought in a tv with vcr and some treats and a whole bunch of vcr tapes with Thanksgiving themes.
I set it up in their room / dorm ten ladies of a variety of developmental issues and age. One lady had a disorder where she was self injurious, she tore her hair out down to the bone, literally scratched so deep you saw the bone. She took out an eye, literally with a fork. Bit herself so badly she would rip the flesh off her skin and she would put objects into um nevermind. She was a smart lady and I had made a connection, because she did creative art projects with body fluids most did not really care to be around her too much. Another lady had the idea that banging her head into a cement wall until she almost knocked herself out was somewhat common. Being bitten, slapped, pushed down stairs, hit with chairs, frying pans, other people etc was quite common.
But that Thanksgiving these people sat and watched these movies, we sang songs, listened to music and I have never had a closer fellowship than with these ten people. To this day I remember that weekend. These people defined me, right down to my soul these events are three decades old. I have been in the same field for basically 34 years. Because of my many injuries I am paying a very high price emotionally and physically for working with this population. But I could not leave them, I count that a spiritual, human, moral, failure of monumental proportions. But I am what I am.
I must admit I question God’s wisdom after reading about so much brutality and vicious treatment these people suffered. I have often screamed at God praying He take me out. I remember looking up at the sky after the horrid death of a student I worked with and begging God to do me a favor, right here right now take me out, just do something. I am glad God did not answer that prayer. Most evangelicals would consider me an atheist or wolf. Which is fine especially a wolf, they are noble and majestic creatures that are far more loyal to their tribe than most of us to our tribe. Wolves are noted for their “faithfulness” to their mates, they are caring parents, and they are not liars. In reality wolves do not pretend to be prey, they are hunters and they do not hide that fact. We are hunters as well, I mean unless you are vegan, which I really respect but have not been able to emulate. Sheep not so much, sheep won't fight for each other, sheep sort of just dote along, sheep are not the brightest bulb in the lamp.
These people I worked with saved my soul in a strange kind of way. I still remember almost all of them, the good and the well, awful. There are some horrors that can't be explained, full on psychotic breaks are one of those. Someone who is just totally losing it, they can become extremely, I mean put you in intensive care kind of crazy. I tried to share some of this, always keeping confidentiality. Next to working with suicide and crisis and missing kids (which I could not hack too long). Dead kids are just to hard for me, another reason I did not do well on the child units. It was just hard to watch. My hats of to the nurses / care providers on the child oncology units, etc.
My mother worked in icu for decades and I worked a bit with her, she took care of kids who had poles through their head, bread dead babies, crazy priests who would come on the ward when a mother had to get a dnc, do to a Ectopic pregnancy and the alcoholic priest running around the unit screaming the mother is going to hell. My mom had no problem telling him to blank blank. We are a rather weird family. My mother’s dna bs meter saved me from many cults, it is painful at times but it has been helpful.
I don't understand why I am sharing all this, but I just needed a place to say this. Thank you for letting me share, I am not a very strong person, never have been. I guess it skips a generation in my genealogy.
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Brian,
“The image of God” is in every man, woman, boy and girl. In a few, His image of goodness, grace and mercy is very scarred. In others, His image shines through clearly.
It sounds like you were around some people in your time of need where the image of God was shining through bringing healing and light.
Thanks for sharing this story.
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brian,
You have been a blessing to so many people who have suffered terribly. Thanks for sharing your pain.
Praying for your peace.
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That means a great deal Deb, PP and Michael have helped me share so much, I sometimes think I parade my “issues” for feign sympathy. Maybe I do, I know I have been somewhat manipulative in some posts and later tried to correct them. It has become clear to me, I am just trying to get rid of the pain of these memories and at times I may have taken unreasonable responses. I hate to see people hurt, I loathe seeing spiritual pain, it hurts far worse than physical pain. Even when I was being ran out of my first communion as a catholic by a rather well crazy priest because I would not go to confession after watching garner ted armstrong videos in the early morning thinking the RCC is the whore of babylon. I get that a 8 year old should have all that worked out and if they dont they should be reprobated on steroids I get that. Twice on Sunday. I really thought I would burn in hell and God would kill me right there if I did go into the confessional, my brothers told me to just make up crap. I lacked the spiritual integrity to do that, and I do consider that a moral and spiritual failing on my part, and I do really mean that.
After some 35 + years in the business I have come to understand most, meaning well over 99% of this religious stuff is utter unmitigated nonsense. It is that .1% I hold on to. It just hurts, so much and for so long, it is just one constant stream of pain that is unrelenting. I get I have that coming, we all do. But I cant believe God is like that, another moral / spiritual failing on my part. I just will not believe that God is the author of evil, to my dying day I will not believe that. I love God to much to even think that.
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brian wrote:
For God so LOVED the world…He loves you very much, Brian. The reason that we need His grace is that all of us, including religious leaders, are sinners. I believe that some religious leaders will have the most to answer for because they claim authority and rule like tyrants at times.
Today, the love is God is being transformed, by some, into a God who is out for vengeance because we do not *obey* Him like we should. To them, that vengeance is love. This is the brave new world of playing semantics and it is wrong.
God loves you and me, and even when we were far away from Him, He sought after us, pursuing us because He truly loves us. The real authors of evil is modern day Pharisees who place burdens on people, making them believe that God sees them as little more than worms.
I am sorry for what you have been through. I will pray for you today.
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Sending you a virtual hug, brian and will say a prayer for God to comfort you and heal your pain.