Eta Carinae is a true superstar, 100 times more massive than the Sun and a million times brighter. Its blinding glare and extreme outflow of energy is destroying the surrounding nebula. NASA
“Cheap grace is the deadly enemy of our church. We are fighting today for costly grace.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Pete Wilson was restored to ministry, and the ARC for fallen pastors is completed.
To write this post, I looked back on the myriad of articles about those who joined the conga line of fallen pastors who go back into the pulpit as if nothing had changed. The most recent example was Update: Pete Wilson’s Former Wife Accuses of Him of Pursuing Multiple Affairs During Their Marriage Yet He Is Still Preaching and Life Coaching. His wife accused Pete of having multiple affairs during this marriage. As he left his previous church, ostensibly due to burnout, he took with him Jordyn Wilson (her maiden name), with whom he had a close relationship and subsequently married.
I’m afraid I have to disagree with Brandi Wilson on one point. If Pete’s intimate relationships were with members of his congregation, then he may have been guilty of clergy abuse. Certainly, Jordyn, who worked for him, would fit the wrong end of the power dynamic. She is very young, and Pete looks a little long in the tooth. They are now married with one child, the sister of his older boys from his previous marriage. Pete got a strange gig that I outlined in the last post. He flies into Northridge Church in Michigan from his home in Nashville to be the “teaching pastor.” I called the church to ask about this decision. Given the circumstances, Northridge Church did not respond. So Pete gets to play preacher and pretend all is well. But can he dance off into the sunset, no questions asked?
Recently, Chris Hodges finally built his lodge of rest for fallen pastors. I’ve heard he denies that is his facility’s intent, but we have the quotes. Methinks Hodges got lots of questions from his tithers. This is a place for those who have fallen to be refreshed and restored. I would not be surprised if those restored were placed in ARC churches.
Can someone be restored without making restitution?
Although I am focusing on pastors, this question can be applied to all of us. We all know the kid who breaks a window playing baseball. We know those who were compelled to apologize and fix the window, and we know the kids who ran away or whose parents refused to fix the window. Susan Shaw, writing for Baptist News Global, posted Restoration without restitution is complicity.
I’m sure pastors with “issues” need support and counseling. I can’t help but ask, however, what it means to prioritize the well-being and restoration of these men to ministry over the well-being and healing of their victims. I can’t say I’m surprised. Evangelicals seem to show a lot of compassion for pastors who commit sexual abuse. Too bad they don’t show the same concern for victims.
Once again, I’m reminded of what Barabara Dorris, formerly of SNAP, told me before I started this blog. Always keep the victims in front of you as you write. After all these years of writing, I can attest to the truth of the following comments by Shaw.
it’s not unheard of for congregants and other pastors to defend predators by claiming children seduced them. So-called “consensual” affairs between pastors and congregants are usually judged as moral indiscretions rather than the abuse of power they really are.
“An abusive pastor isn’t a good man who made a mistake. He’s a predator.”
A pastor always has power over a congregant. It’s not an equal relationship, anymore than that of a therapist and client or teacher and student
…he narrative of a center for pastoral restoration is one of a good man who made a bad decision and who simply needs biblical guidance to ensure repentance and commitment not to do it again. Churches tell this story with euphemisms like “indiscretion” and “inappropriate relationship”
Churches who ignore the victim of the pastors are complicit in the abuse.
we make the case that, when the church ignores voices of survivors, it is complicit in abuse. When the church silences survivors or covers up abuse or allows predatory pastors to move from congregation to congregation, the church is an enabler of sexual abuse. And when the church uses the Bible to subjugate women, place sexual responsibility on women and gloss over men’s abuse of women and children, the church damages the very image of the God it supposedly represents.
Cheap grace is practiced by clueless churches that quickly restore these fallen pastors.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote much on the topic of cheap grace.
Cheap grace is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline, Communion without confession, absolution without personal confession. Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate.
…Costly grace is the gospel which must be sought again and again, the gift which must be asked for, the door at which a man must knock.
Such grace is costly because it calls us to follow, and it is grace because it calls us to follow Jesus Christ. It is costly because it costs a man his life, and it is grace because it gives a man the only true life. It is costly because it condemns sin, and grace because it justifies the sinner. Above all, it is costly because it cost God the life of his Son: “ye were bought at a price,” and what has cost God much cannot be cheap for us. Above all, it is grace because God did not reckon his Son too dear a price to pay for our life, but delivered him up for us. Costly grace is the Incarnation of God.”
Susan Shaw said:
In terms of clergy abuse, “cheap grace” means a pastor need only pray to God for forgiveness and promise not to be “indiscreet” or engage in “inappropriate relationships” again, and, just like that, he’s ready to return to ministry — if he’s been removed from a position at all.
Often, then, churches pressure victims to forgive perpetrators and move on, as if nothing ever happened. Yet great harm has been done, and mere words of apology to God — rarely the victim — do not begin to address the damage.
One way to avoid cheap grace is to demand restitution on the offender’s part.
Read what Susan Shaw says about this and remember pastors like Pete Wilson, Johnny Hunt, and others who slipped away and are “living their best life now.” What would happen if each church asked the pastor to explain how their victims are doing? Do they need the following? How about if that question was asked of congregations which have encouraged cheap grace via rapid restoration?
That may mean paying therapy bills for victims as long as they need counseling to work through what has happened to them. It may mean paying medical bills, making up for lost wages in time off because of trauma, helping with addiction, housing or education. Whatever the abuse has cost the victim should be paid by the abuser and the religious institutions that enabled him.
The church (and possibly denomination) itself needs to go through this process of transformative justice as well to discover how it enabled an abusive pastor and what steps it needs to take to ensure the safety of congregants from perpetrators and to transform itself into a congregation that proactively works for justice for survivors.
The church must recognize clergy “affairs” as abuse and insist on restitution for the victim.
While calling pastors to accountability is admirable, it’s ultimately ineffective and harmful if that calling only involves pastors themselves and does not demand restitution for victims or if it approaches abuse as a spiritual failing rather than a destructive pattern of gender-based violence that requires more intervention than prayer and Scripture reading.
If all the church does to address abuse by clergy is to work to restore pastors without requiring restitution, the church is complicit in the abuse. Abuse is a serious offense with lifelong consequences for victims and, until the church recognizes abuse for what it is, it will continue to enable abusers, cover up their abuses and increase harm and trauma for victims.
Pastoral restoration shouldn’t be the goal. Only an approach that centers justice for victims and transformation for all can begin to address the destructiveness of abuse and offer healing and hope to all.
A few years ago, I thought the church was well on the way to recognizing clergy abuse. As I have watched the intransigence of SBC executive committee leaders such as Joe Knott, I am concerned that our work has only just begun—more on Joe Knott soon.
North Carolina lawyer Joe Knott said the SBC should focus on fighting sin rather than addressing issues like abuse.
Abuse is not sin????
Jeffrey Chalmers,
It’s just one of those icky things… You will be hearing more about his church in Raleigh.
There are no examples in the New Testament of pastors who failed morally being restored to ministry. We make this stuff up as we go along, but it has nothing to do with how things are supposed to operate in the Kingdom of God on earth in the here and now, IMHO. We can’t redefine grace to cover sin, no matter how we spin it … it is cheap grace, indeed, when we do that … and knows nothing of the Grace that Jesus acquired for us on the cross. A pastor forfeits his sacred office when he commits abuse of any sort, betrays the trust of his congregation, divorces his wife, leaves his children, and Lord knows what else. He is permanently disqualified from ministry. Forgive him if he genuinely repents and makes restitution? Certainly. Restore him to ministry? Absolutely not!
“But Max, Pastor sure can preach!” I don’t care!
Jeffrey Chalmers,
I thought the same thing….. only a few choice words popped into my mind.
I wonder, if Knott and a few hundred men like him were abused…. or if their wives and children were abused….. would he still say the same thing?
As far as “fallen pastors” go, if they take personal responsibility before the church for their actions and go through what should be lengthy process with professional counseling and evaluations, then and only then should they be eligible for restoration – but only as a church members allowed to participate in fellowship in open, public settings – and never ever to any sort of ministerial positions.
Their wives and children very well might already be abused.
My thought, too. While churches are paying for counseling for the victims of fallen pastors, they should be including counseling for the pastors’ families, as well.
Restoration? More like a dog returning to eat its own vomit. Both the Dear Leader and his complicit supporting followers.
Proverbs 26.11 and 2 Peter 2.22.
Nancy2(aka Kevlar),
“I wonder, if Knott and a few hundred men like him were abused…. or if their wives and children were abused….”
++++++++++++++++++++++
they reckon have all the emotional intelligence of a small dutch cheese.
Nancy2(aka Kevlar),
“…restoration…”
+++++++++++++
restoration schmestoration
just cuz the word gets mention in the epistles it’s now a thing.
i’m sort of partial to ’emasculate themselves’.
just being biblical, here.
Tremendous reflectance on repentance in one sentence:
“Bring forth the fruit of repentance.” Matthew 3.8, Luke 3.8.
Example of the fruit of repentance: Zacchaeus paid back x4 what he had unlawfully taken. Luke 19
Furthermore, in Acts 3.37-8:
“Now when they heard this [Peter preaching], they were cut to the heart, and said to Peter and the rest of the apostles, ‘Brothers, what shall we do?’
“Peter said to them, ‘Repent, and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.'”
So with repentance (with fruit & evidence), we are filled with the Holy Spirit.
Without repentance (no fruit or evidence), we are not filled with the Holy Spirit. Then the gifts of the Holy Spirit (Rom 12, 1 Cor 12, Eph 4) are not given to the church through us. Therefore the unrepentant “pastors” do not have the Holy Spirit gift of pastoring. They may retain their title and salary, but they do not have the pastoring gift from the Holy Spirit.
Sure, throw money at them, keep sitting beneath them while they preach up there at the pulpit or on stage, and send them to rehab at the Pastors Restoration Spa Retreat Center. But if the Holy Spirit does not dwell in them, they do not have the pastoring gift. A tree with no fruit. Empty wind blowing through. Not a pastor in the Body of Christ.
In context, biblical restoration means a person is restored to a right relationship with God, as manifested by true repentance as evidenced by a long-term pattern of behavioral change. Nowhere does the Bible speak of restoring someone to a church leadership position after committing flagrant sin.
It sickens me that these groups are so black and white about not ordaining women and then ignore clear qualifications for leaders in order to “restore” men who have sinned greatly, publicly, and harmfully (to people, churches, and to the reputation of Christ) to leadership.
I have to wonder if their “grace” is rooted in fear of potentially sinning in the same way or the reality that they are sinning in the same way.
Tom Rubino,
This.
A thought that often crosses my mind. The interpretation and misapplication of “grace” is running rampant in the American church. Sinful church leaders shore each other up, lest they also be exposed … sinful pewsitters quickly restore fallen pulpits, knowing they are living the same sins. It’s a clergy/laity synergism that keeps the fallen in place in both pulpit and pew … a leaven that leaveneth the whole lump. No one ever gets around to genuine repentance as demonstrated by the fruit of repentance … and the beat goes on with the American church drifting further from the holy standard.
elastigirl,
“…Knott and a few hundred men like him…
they reckon have all the emotional intelligence of a small dutch cheese.
+++++++++++++++++++++
surprise dyslexia aside, let it be known that it is I who reckon they have all the emotional intelligence of a small dutch cheese.
Tom Rubino,
“I have to wonder if their “grace” is rooted in fear of potentially sinning in the same way or the reality that they are sinning in the same way.”
+++++++++++++++
sounds like an insurance policy.
and a business opportunity.
…i feel sick again….i think it’s worse than the smell of formaldehyde in 8th grade…
Call me puerile but there’s a wonderful slip in an article on al.com
‘Hodges told the crowd at a church leadership event in 2021 that he and Highlands Associate Pastor Dino Rizzo were “in the middle of about 20 pastoral, moral failures or restorations right now.”’
I don’t know how they find time to do any restoration in the middle of so many moral failures.
https://www.al.com/news/2023/07/church-of-the-highlands-opens-45-million-pastoral-recovery-center-what-is-it.html
John Berry,
“…an article on al.com”
“In May, the Lodge hosted a crowd of pastors as part of a two-day, $5,000-per-person roundtable event hosted by GrowLeader, a for-profit limited liability company launched by Hodges and run by Highlands senior pastor Lee Domingue.
The company offers a range of services, including paid mentoring with Hodges and financial coaching with Domingue.”
++++++++++++++++++++++++
well, i think this speaks for itself.
…and mentors aren’t all that
(certainly not all $$$$ that)
So did Elron Hubbard, founder of Scientology:
“Writing for a penny a word is stupid. If you want to make a million dollars, START YOUR OWN RELIGION!”
I wish there was a detectable smell like that for believers when they visited a church for the first time … to discern the rottenness there and flee from it.
Wouldn’t that be great Max?! “It doesn’t smell right in here.” We thought about attending a church, then found out the pastor had “a moral failure” with a member of his last congregation and took 2 years off but was all better now. (He had friends/fellow pastors vouching for him, no professional counseling.) Then we were hit with Colossians 3:22 (obey your leaders) who had decided this man could be a pastor again. There was 1 way to obey that Bible verse: these people were not to be our leaders.
JJallday,
If a church leader forfeits his office of leadership, he can never be your leader. IMO, moral failure and betraying the trust of a congregation disqualify pastors permanently from ministry. There are other ways for a truly repentant “restored” leader to serve in the Body of Christ, than being put in the pulpit again.
Restitution to right wrongs was prominent in OT regulation of the life of the people of God. I don’t understand the justifications for removing this from the life of the churches.
It’s intriguing and troubling that this is left out of much Christian thinking about what is involved in forgiveness and reconciliation.
I’m with Ava — repentance isn’t credible until it is proved with concrete production of visible fruits that give evidence that it is real. That’s my reading of the oft-misused “forgive 70 times 7” text — the text says “if he repent”, not “if he claims to have repented.”
I suspect that it’s reliable evidence of bad motives when a transgressor is offended by one’s reluctance to believe, absent visible proof in the form of ‘changed life’, his protestations of repentance.
In response to criticism of this kind, I once responded — “I don’t believe words; I believe actions”. The other person seemed to not know what to say in response to this; perhaps he realized he couldn’t object without incriminating himself.
—
I’m not sure what to make of this insistence that the abused credulously believe their abusers; perhaps it’s “cheap grace”. Perhaps it’s parallel to the common setting of (what I suspect to be a mistaken) NT-based understanding of “faith” into opposition with the OT “wisdom” agenda, an opposition which I suspect is deeply unwise.
“Produce fruit that is consistent with repentance, demonstrating new behavior that proves a change of heart, and a conscious decision to turn away from sin” (Matthew 3:8 AMP)
Thanks for the shout out, Samuel Conner, however, TBH, I would never go there if it were not clearly stated in the Bible, and if someone with the HS gift of discernment to the Body of Christ, had not pointed this out to me.
“Bring forth the fruits (action evidence) of repentance,” Matt & Luke 3.8, Zacchaeus’ example, and finally the preaching of Peter at Pentecost.
Clear and simple, but neither preached nor practiced in Evangel-Land.
It was a fellow Christian who has the HS given gift of discernment to the Body of Christ, that pointed out this truth.
He added the verses about a dog going back to eat its own vomit (Prov 26:11, also 2 Peter 2:22), to describe those who return to support and follow the “restored” leaders that have not repented in the Biblical sense.
Seeing this, I can’t help but think of a Twitch/Youtube streamer who goes by the name Atrioc. He did something at the beginning of the year which hurt a lot of other content creators (you can Google the details if you like). For repair, he:
* Apologized privately
* Apologized publicly
* To a group of people saying he “did nothing wrong,” he asked them to shut up
* He took three months off of one aspect of his streaming (an income source) to work on repairing damage; 6 months off another aspect
* Invested $100k of his money and did a lot of associated work to help make things right
Abusive clergy typically cause a far more tremendous amount of damage than this guy, but they should look to him as an example of how to start making things right.
Usually, the only people they’re finding counseling for is the “pastors.”
*funding
I am kinda ready to say….that these people in the pews that tolerate these guys.. are getting what they deserve.
Bad actors would have no stage if it weren’t for a gullible audience willing to buy tickets to the show. It’s called Christianity Lite, where anything goes.
It’s a bizarre statement. He either is deliberately distorting Scripture or doesn’t know it. I’m not aware of Bible translations that use the word abuse, but there are multiple passages which describe abuse such as Ezekiel 34 and 2 Peter 2.
seems common-sense to KNOW that if
a ‘PASTOR’ has knowingly and willingly abused someone in the course of his pastoral ‘care’,
that forfeits any future ‘chances’ for the ‘PASTOR’ to continue in a role that is defined to be lived ‘in imitation of Christ’
I can’t understand the theology of them what throws the perpetrators back into the victim pool again to repeat their CRIME against humanity . . . it would be like being complicit in the future actions of the predator
WHAT theology says that ‘sin’ doesn’t ‘matter’ once you are ‘saved’?
Where does that come from?
And who thought it up?
An old saying:
“This thought should keep us humble. WE ARE SINNERS BUT WE DO NOT KNOW HOW GREAT.
He alone knows Who died for our sins.”
(John Henry Newman)
I’ll say it too, and add that I haven’t one electron of sympathy for them.
The same theology that puts some on platforms (pulpits, stages) above others. And on those platforms, they are supported by their major donors who also posture themselves above others.
I do not write this out of pulpit/platform envy. The ground at the foot of the Cross is level, as your quote from John Henry Newman clearly states. On bended knee before Jesus only (no middleman), our souls find the love and peace we long for. It is the only place of spiritual health.
Anyone not willing to stand on that level ground, is unloving, unhealthy and not following Jesus.
And for the crowd on bended knee before Jesus, with regard to the self-elevated leadership, why bother with them – they are far from love and health and Jesus right from the jump.
R,
Both, and.
Starting with paying for the broken window, out of one’s own pocket.
Talk is cheap and in no way fixes the broken window. So, after breaking a window, the repentant dig deep in their own pockets and fix the blessed window!
This Restoration Retreat Rich Acres Spa for predatory pastors is the height of DARVO: deny, attack, reverse victim & offender. Victims are the ones needing care, which the predators should be paying for. If the predators were repentant.
In Luke 3:8ff, John the Baptist goes into detail about the actions of evidence of repentance. Have you ever heard this sermon preached? Neither have I.
“Therefore produce fruits worthy of repentance, and don’t begin to say among yourselves, ‘We have Abraham for our father;’ for I tell you that God is able to raise up children to Abraham from these stones! Even now the ax also lies at the root of the trees. Every tree therefore that doesn’t produce good fruit is cut down, and thrown into the fire.”
The multitudes asked him, “What then must we do?”
John answered them, “He who has two coats, let him give to him who has none. He who has food, let him do likewise.” [Share.]
Tax collectors also came to be baptized, and they said to him, “Teacher, what must we do?”
He said to them, “Collect no more than that which is appointed to you.” [Justice with money.]
Soldiers also asked him, saying, “What about us? What must we do?”
He said to them, “Extort from no one by violence, neither accuse anyone wrongfully. Be content with your wages.” [Don’t bully/]
As the people were in expectation, and all men reasoned in their hearts concerning John, whether perhaps he was the Christ, John answered them all, “I indeed baptize you with water, but he comes who is mightier than I, the strap of whose sandals I am not worthy to loosen. He will baptize you in the Holy Spirit and fire, whose fan is in his hand, and he will thoroughly cleanse his threshing floor, and will gather the wheat into his barn; but he will burn up the chaff with unquenchable fire.” [Pentecost is coming; the Holy Spirit is coming.]
Then with many other exhortations he preached Good News.
——————-
Pretty much everything I’ve ever heard preached about repentance was the call to support the pastor’s church initiatives. He would preach to bring listeners to their knees, and then instead of directing the hearers to do the works as listed by John the Baptist, the preaching would direct the church listeners to fall in line with whatever project the pastor was working on – building, missions, new programs, meet the budget, volunteer duties, etc.
There are a couple of exceptions with amazing results. However, by and large the pastor did a bait and switch with repentance to bring the flock into his power, his vision, to get done what he wanted. Unfortunately. If it’s not moneychangers in the Temple, then it’s Pastor Projects, as in build pastor’s but not God’s kingdom.
Apologies, I wasn’t clear. If churches *were to* [subjective tense] pay for counseling of victims of abusive pastors, they ought to do so for the wives and children of said pastors, as well.
No never.
But what that passage always makes me wonder is about the people who do the actions John the Baptist describes but have no faith in or belief in God and certainly wouldn’t see them as repentance but rather justice.
It makes me wonder who are actually disciples and I think there might be a lot who don’t believe in God and wouldn’t be seen dead in church, if they’re showing the fruits of repentance.
It used to be called evangelicalism and charismatic (virtue signalling words that are difficult to argue against). This was why Lloyd-Jones (a rare genuine version of both) argued against evangelicals trying to cause influence within denominations as a substitute for sustenance from where God would send it.
Based on the “muscular christianity” of Nash Bash and led by the medal recipient class they thought they had to argue, dishonestly, that the evensong and flowers brigade (who had probably been giving the “honest to God” faction unconscious reassurance) were without virtue: which very same middle of the roaders (both high and low) were the real evangelicals all along, Jesus having taught a WHOLE and not deficient series of teachings.
I witnessed all this from close by just when the Savile tendency were cosying up with the C of E and RCC, and a politically connected RE teacher launched salacious “civics discussions” (a k a normalising) (then left after carrying on with a boy).
The C of E proclaims churchmanship a protected characteristic yet the latest iteration of “evangelicalism” (unthinking diktat sugared with commercialised hysteria, and in both high and low styles) is the only teaching permitted to be imposed (to the chagrin of dwindling better bishops including a couple of women).
The C of E has now bought in draconian atheism to control itself. If you want to see where your pesky SBC, IFB, PCA, ARC are predetermined to be in 2063 (and the RCC in 2103), simply look at the C of E in 2023.
It has got drummed in our heads in the UK, US and the Hispanic world that religion has got to be materialistic and ad hominem. Falwell Senior (who was big over here) was functionally pivotal as the twin half of the Savile pincer movement (I met a traumatised BBC studio cameraman).
In Hegel and Gramsci, thesis (fait accompli) and “equal and opposite” antithesis (another fait accompli) = material dialectic, transferring affections to new bosses unnoticed. My associates were cherry picked to practice this.
Make no mistake about it. Having an affair while serving as “pastor” IS abuse! He has misused his sacred office … exploited those who trusted him … mishandled the things of God … misapplied the power of his position. Yep, it’s abuse.
I think it’s telling that if there is any talk about “restoration,” the focus on the restoration is always on the perpetrator of the abuse, whether that is sexual abuse, psychological abuse, and/or spiritual abuse.
I can’t recall even once hearing of efforts to bring about restoration for the victims of that abuse. Instead, they are typically slandered not only by the perpetrator but by some people in the congregation. Even if fellow congregants do not actively slander the victim, they seem fine with the victims being forced to leave. No one ever says, “We need to restore this person to our congregation, or do whatever we can to make her or him whole wherever they choose to heal.”
Instead, their former congregations leave the victims on their own to find some measure of healing while everyone else goes about their “Christian” business. And that isolation is itself a powerful force working against healing.
It’s telling.
To paraphrase Seinfeld,
“Remember: It’s Not a sin if YOU do it.”
I think it’s OSAS, “Once Saved, Always Saved.”
The non-Calvinist version of “The Predestined Elect” with a similar Get Out of Hell Free Card.
Probably another corollary of the Gospel of Personal Salvation and ONLY Personal Salvation crossed with Altar Call/Say the Magic Words Salvation. Not a good fit with Instantaneous Total Sanctification that usually goes with that.
In the New Testament story about the adulterous woman (John 8), Jesus rebuked her religious accusers, but ministered to her and told her to sin no more. While they were shouting their accusations, Jesus wrote something on the ground which brought deep conviction to the scribes and Pharisees, shutting them up and causing them to leave the scene. I’ve often wondered what He wrote … whatever it was, He needs to write it again!
Unspecified “Moral Failure” = “Caught naked in bed with a live boy and/or a dead woman.”
Ain’t Christianese a Wonderful Newspeak?
I have heard sermon speculation it was a a list of Names, Dates, and Sexual Preferences/Proclivities of all the accusers.
In Medieval theology, this was called “the Virtuous Pagan”.
(Fictional) type example: Emeth of Calormen from Chronicles of Narnia: The Last Battle.
Holy Nincompoop Syndrome, where the more stupid and ignorant you are, the more Righteous and Godly Thou Must Be. “Fools for Christ” played backwards.
“You have a saying: [insert saying here].
We also have a saying: PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS!”
— Babylon-5
Because talk is cheap; words must be backed up with actions.
Max,
Wait a blessed minute.
“Eyewitness” writes of restoration of victims of abuse.
“Max” answers with the story of Jesus and the adulterous woman.
Yikes!
A victim of abuse has NOTHING to do with an adulterous woman. Abuse and adultery have NOTHING to do with each other. Maybe in both cases, the privates of a woman are involved. But in one case, the woman sells herself (in Jesus’ day, opportunities for women were desperate so it seems like Jesus had compassion on this woman, and called out the hypocrisy of the religious leaders who maybe had even hired her, but nevertheless, she had sold herself). In the other case, an unsuspecting woman who would never sell her privates is attacked and violated by a monster.
These are two completely different women.
What about how men engage their privates? In one case, a man makes love to his wife. In another case, an attacker violently captures a woman or child off the streets, violates them with his part, and may even murder them. Are these the same men?
The victim of abuse is the one plundered and tossed by the side of the road, then rescued by the Good Samaritan. Completely different story. In Jesus’ Good Samaritan Story, the Levites and Priests walked on by. Nowadays, Priests and Levites are actually the monster attackers, too, not just the apathetic but the plundering predators.
DARVO – deny, attack, reverse victim and offender – groups the abuse victims of monsters with adulterous women who sell themselves.
True, there is a restorative QUALITY to repentance (of, for example, adultery). But “restoration” replacing repentance is impossible.
Repentance: Matt. & Luke 3.8, Zacchaeus, Peter at Pentecost = repentance in action by the guilty predator/party. The sinner repents and pays x4 what he stole.
Restoration: The Good Samaritan: Luke 10. A hero steps up to care for a violated, plundered person. The righteous respond to what evil men do to the innocent.
Replacing repentance with restoration is DARVO start to finish. Mind games.
Having been a member of a church many years ago whose pastor had been “released” from his previous churches due to adulterous activity with members (that was never reported to our church. We had our own “incident” with him) and then running into a similar situation as a missionary with another missionary colleague and a national pastor, I don’t think adulterous/abusive pastors should ever be returned to the pulpit. It’s not just the actual sin; it’s also the amount of deception that is involved to keep the sin alive. The longer/frequency with which sexual sin is committed, the more it becomes normalized and “accepted.”
There may be a very few, isolated cases where over time someone demonstrates true repentance and restoration, but I believe those are few and far between (I am aware of one such case in a church I frequented). I think churches need to be firm that sexual sin (specifically adultery, clergy abuse of a church member, anything with a minor) will permanently remove you from the pulpit, and there will be no recommendation from us if you desire to serve in another church.
Yikes.
Targeting the victim of a predator’s abuse with slander …
has NOTHING to do with
the hypocritical religious elite calling out a prostitute for stoning.
Except maybe, nowadays, a man may be BOTH a member of the hypocritical religious elite AND a predator.
But an unsuspecting woman or child who minded their own business then out of the blue was violated …
is NOT the same woman as the one who sells herself.
Maybe the same man, but two completely different women.
We don’t need to shame this adulterous woman. And by the way, the man who hired her is equally adulterous. The religious elite were going to take her out but give the guy a pass.
However, those who have been attacked have NOTHING to do with their attack. “What did you do to attract your attacker?” is a common tactic to shift blame in this case. “She must have asked for it.” Wrong. The violated are in NO WAY culpable for the attack; the culpability sits completely with the attacker. Duh.
People seem to have their wires crossed regarding restoration and repentance. These are NOT the same. Repentance is the story of Zacchaeus. Restoration is the story of the Good Samaritan.
People also seem to have their wires crossed regarding adulterous and attacked. Completely different. Adulterous is the story of the adulterous woman. Attacked is the plundered in the story of the Good Samaritan.
Good Samaritan: Predator violates a passerby victim. Religious elite pass by the victim with apathy. Good Samaritan rescues victim, pays for restoration.
Adulterous woman: Hypocritical religious elite attempt to take out an adulterous woman. Jesus intervenes. Calls out their hypocrisy (the men stone the woman but give the guy a pass). Tells the adulterous woman to stop sinning, after saving her life.
Fantastic comment. I agree
Database re: crimes against children:
https://www.whoismakingnews.com/#welcome
Ava Aaronson,
My point being that Jesus reached out to the abused, while rebuking the abusers … in reference to churches taking the side of predator-pastors over their victims. (maybe didn’t communicate it that well or use the best example from Scripture)
the “abused” being whom? the adulterous woman? She was to have been snuffed out, stoned, by the religious elite, who may have even been her clientele, and by the way, what about the guy? Yes, that is abusive and not justice. So Jesus intervened for her and told her, “Sin no more”.
However, slander against a violated child or minor has NOTHING to do with the circumstances of an adulterous woman dealing with the religious elite. Does Jesus intervene to save this child (are they being stoned for adultery?) and then tell them, “Sin no more”?
Although, some people group anyone being attacked by whomever for whatever reason, as being the same situation. It’s not. So, victimization leveling? In a sense, in this world we are all attacked and abused by someone at some point.
The violation of any unsuspecting individual is next level. The law recognizes this. Why don’t Christians? Mind games. A lot of Evangel-land is mind games to fill the pocketbooks of the mindbenders and the self-righteous egos of others.
Mind games: repentance is twisted to be restoration.
Mind games: adulterous woman and violated woman are lumped and both told, “Sin no more.” The adulterous woman is abused, so the “abused” woman must be adulterous.
Substitution: use the word violated for “abused” to distinguish a completely unprovoked attack (that then is followed by equally unprovoked slander of the victim) as opposed to stoning for adultery.
BINGO!
Restoration to what, by the way?
Restored means to “bring back”. Back where? There are only two “bring back” destinations for a predator:
Restored, bring back – to predation as he/she has done before? It’s back there. Is this the goal of restoration for a predator?
Restored, bring back – To the pre-predator person? That is a lie. The predator has violated a vulnerable person. It is a fact of record. Forgiven if repentant? Yes, but not as if the person never was a predator, violating a vulnerable person.
Repentance with the fruit evidence of repentance is the righteous path forward. The only righteous path forward. 1 John – a predator saying he/she did not commit the sin is a lie, deceiving themselves. Repentance with the fruit evidence of repentance is the ONLY righteous path forward. Thank God, He provides this path, the walk in the Light.
The Apostle Paul talks openly about his pre-disciple days but never about his pre-predator days. He makes no such claim of innocence. Yes, God chose him of all people to be a disciple and initially understandably the other disciples did not trust Paul. It took miracles, but he became an actual disciple. Walking in the LIGHT. Paul was never “restored”, he was redeemed.