"We denied those charges and allegations from the beginning and not only that we hired an independent investigator to look into those allegations, and the investigator concluded that there was not any evidence to support that conspiracy or obstruction had taken place."
Mark Mitchell – Executive Pastor at CLC
Kojo Nnamdi, an American radio journalist at WAMU 88.5 recently dared to address child sex abuse charges involving members of Covenant Life Church (CLC) and Sovereign Grace Church Fairfax. Here is an overview of that broadcast which aired last Thursday:
For more than 40 years, Sovereign Grace Ministries was a haven for evangelical Christians from around the D.C. metro region. With congregations numbering in the thousands, SGM’s churches — including Sovereign Grace Church in Fairfax, Va. and Covenant Life Church in Gaithersburg, Md. — created insular communities led by a patriarchal hierarchy. But according to a Washingtonian magazine investigation, SGM’s leadership allegedly suppressed years of child sexual abuse within in its membership and actively discouraged victims from notifying police. Kojo learns more about what happened inside two of this powerful organization’s local churches, and explores the legal and personal fallout for those who filled its pews.
Kojo, a Guyanan native who emigrated to the United States in 1967, conducted a live radio interview with the following guests:
Tiffany Stanley, a freelance journalist whose article The Sex-Abuse Scandal That Devastated a Suburban Megachurch: The Rise and Fall of Sovereign Grace Ministries appeared in the February 2016 issue of The Washingtonian
Mark Mitchell, Executive Pastor at Covenant Life Church
Pam Palmer, an activist and victims' advocate. She is a former member of CLC where her daughter, Renee, was sexually assaulted as a child by a fellow congregant, who was convicted
Terri, a member of Covenant Life Church. She is married to one of the men accused in the second amended lawsuit
Covenant Life Church was the flagship church of Sovereign Grace Ministries, a global evangelical network. At the height of its ministry, CLC had more than 3,000 members. A sister church, Sovereign Grace Church Fairfax, peaked at around 1,000 members. Over time the leadership became very authoritarian and patriarchal. Unfortunately, this led to serious problems, which Tiffany Stanley described in her article.
During the radio interview, Tiffany Stanley, who was in the studio with Kojo, gave an overview of what happened to Kate and Edward's children. They were members of SGC Fairfax. Tiffany explained that Edward was leading a small group, and a teenage boy who was also a member of the church babysat other children including Kate and Edward's four year old daughter. The teenager (who was 15), began acting out, as did Kate and Edward's young daughter. Tragically, the teenage boy had sexually abused Kate and Edward's daughter. Kate and Edward allege that church leaders discouraged them from going to the authorities. Instead, a Matthew 18 approach was used, and they were pressured into forgiving the teenager, who confessed to the crime.
Kojo then made the point that child sex abuse is a crime and asked Tiffany Stanley whether pastors are required to go to the authorities if they suspect a child is being sexually abused. Tiffany explained that in the state of Maryland, everyone is considered a mandatory reporter, except clergy. The one exception to the law is clergy penitent privilege, with the roots of the exception coming from Catholic confession. Tiffany then said that doesn't mean that pastors cannot report abuse.
Next, Kojo interviewed Mark Mitchell, Executive Pastor at CLC, who was also in the studio. Mark has held this position since 2013.
Kojo began this segment of the interview by saying they have been discussing cases of child sexual abuse over the years within Covenant Life Church and its network of churches. He further said that Tiffany's Washingtonian article indicated that for years pastors in those churches have suppressed those cases and not reported them to the authorities. Here is Mark Mitchell response:
"Well, obviously the first thing I'd want to say is that we are deeply troubled by any report of sexual abuse, and we're grateful that as a society this is something that we're taking much more seriously, and we hope and pray that our justice system would function effectively in prosecuting those who have perpetrated these crimes. And we certainly as a church want to grow in providing support and help to those who are genuine victims. With regard to those specific allegations at Covenant Life Church, we've denied them. There was a civil lawsuit that was brought against the church and in that civil lawsuit it alleged that pastors of Covenant Life were guilty of conspiracy to protect sexual deviants, pedophiles, as well as obstruction of justice.
Kojo then revealed that they reached out to Sovereign Grace Church in Fairfax, but they declined to participate in the broadcast. Instead, they sent the following statement:
We want you to know that we never covered up or tried to cover up child abuse of any kind in our church. We have never knowingly allowed perpetrators of child sexual abuse access to other children in the church or in any church activities. The claim that there was a conspiracy among the pastors to cover up child sexual abuse is not true. Child abuse of any kind and especially child sexual abuse is abhorrent and devastating to the victims and their families, and we have always remained committed to providing the best and most loving care we can give.
Next, Kojo asked whether CLC was utilizing a 17 page memo cited in The Washingtonian article that outlines what pastors should do regarding child sex abuse. Mark Mitchell stated emphatically that it is NOT a Covenant Life Church document. CLC has its own procedures. He clarified that if accusations are brought forward about child sexual abuse that the civil authorities must be notified. He and Tiffany then dialogued about what happened in the Nate Morales case beginning at the 9:20 mark. (link)
Kojo's next set of questions involved Larry Ellis Caffrey, a former member of Covenant Life Church who was arrested on March 16, 2016, on charges of sex abuse and false imprisonment of a minor. He worked in the church's children's ministry. He asks Mark Mitchell this question:
"How is the church handling communications with congregants and especially parents given that the worked in your children's ministry?"
Mark responds by saying that the initial communication that went out to church members did not include Caffrey's name because the victim was not aware that the information was being disseminated to the congregation. He expresses his sadness that this has occurred; however, he is grateful that it did not take place on church premises or in the context of Discovery Land. Mark said he would be going back to his office to handle a follow-up communication with the members of CLC.
Kojo then brought up the book written by Caffrey entitled Years of Grace, Life of Mercy in which he writes – "If I had daughters I might sexually abuse them."
Caffrey wrote to CLC's senior pastor (we assume Joshua Harris) to see if his book could be sold in the church bookstore. At that point Caffrey's book was given to a CLC pastor to review. Unfortunately, he missed the shocking portion Kojo quoted. According to Mark, it just 'slipped through the cracks'.
Next, Kojo brought Pam Palmer into the conversation. She was speaking by phone. Pam is an activist and victims' advocate. She attended CLC with her family for 22 years, and she has been involved in a class action lawsuit accusing the church's leadership of covering up child molestation. Kojo asked her to explain why they brought the lawsuit.
Pam shared that her daughter (who was three years old) was abused in 1993. The pastors told her not to go to the police, but she reported the crime anyway. They prosecuted the perpetrator at that time. Pam thought her daughter was the only sex abuse victim in at CLC. Later, they moved on to another church.
It wasn't until 2011 that she discovered on an internet forum that there were others coming forward with accusations of child sex abuse. As a result she and eleven others filed a lawsuit in Maryland that was ultimately dismissed on a technicality – the statute of limitations had expired on all but two of the alleged victims (who were not residents of Maryland). Kojo asked her to explain the problem and how they are trying to fix it.
Pam said that most child sexual abuse victims have just three years after turning 18 to bring forth a civil action. She stated that the best way to prosecute an institution is civily since it is difficult to prosecute an institution criminally.
The lawsuit filed in 2013 was dismissed on a technicality because the statute of limitations had expired. Pam, S.N.A.P., and other activists are trying to extend the statute out.
Apparently, some have been working to change the law in Maryland for over two decades. At the end of the interview Tiffany Stanley explained this comes up almost every year, and each time the Catholic church sends representatives opposing it. This year CLC sent two members who oppose the bill.
One of the two members of CLC opposing this bill is Terri, who was the final guest on the program. She phoned in to say that her husband had been falsely accused of child abuse in the lawsuit. She said that a woman accused him and three others of molesting her about twenty-five years earlier. It was investigated by the police who did not file any charges. The church hired an independent investigator and after 18 months they concluded it could not have happened. Terri said that what ensued was a witch hunt, and she went on to describe how terribly they were treated.
Toward the end of the interview Kojo asked how many criminal convictions have come out of these sex abuse cases within these churches over the years. Tiffany Stanley responds that more than a dozen people have come forward with allegations and at least seven of those have gotten criminal convictions.
The CLC congregation has declined by around 2,000 in recent years, and the congregation is exceedingly concerned about allegations of child sex abuse. They are seeking to grow and have a good relationship with civil authorities and are trying to heal from what has been a very distressing and difficult period.
After the interview Mark Mitchell went back to his office and put together the following communication, primarily for Covenant Life Church members.
We attempted to embed it but do not have permission. (Just click on the blue box to watch it.)
We hope you will take the time to listen to the entire interview (which is less than 30 minutes long), and we would appreciate your sharing your thoughts.
Todd Wilhelm has chimed in, and you can read his insightful post here.
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First!
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We are both night owls. đ
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And me! Night owls like a Tree! Thanks for covering this interview.
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No I am the night owl or Eagle!
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@ Dave (Eagle):
I was up late working on this post and watching the NCAA Championship. What a heartbreaking loss for those of us who are Tarheel fans. đ
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@ Tree:
Glad Kojo did this important interview.
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Something's wrong with his facial expression when he denies any attempt by anyone of a cover-up because Caffrey's name was not released at their first communication due to victim privacy. I detect that his pulling back of one side of his mouth indicates that either has contempt for the the alleging of a cover-up or he is not telling the whole truth, like at least someone might have suggested trying to coverup st some point. Anyway, it's the only time he smirks like that. With his oh-so-kind speaking in all the rest of the video it is just out of place. If it was in place with the rest he might have at least sounded more understanding to the perception that a coverup could happen, and not be contemptuous at the allegation of one.
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[I posted this to an earlier thread after hearing the show the day it aired.]
Starting about 11:47, MM says, âi do believe our childrenâs ministry processes and policies are robust. Obviously over the years, weâve made adjustments, weâve added things, weâve included counsel from additional personnel, professionals and so forth, so weâve changed weâve grown we believe that our childrenâs ministry is as safe as ever. Um, now, in the past, like I said, you knows weâve added things so today we believe our policies are very robust, â
Never having heard the man speak before, I have to say he sounds sincere. It seems like he has a good heart and wanted to speak candidly.
But this statement above is full of weirdness to my ear.
Most importantly, how can CLC have added things (pesky things like gasp, professionals!) in order to have a robust, safe ministry and then claim that is was as safe as ever before in the history of CLC prior to making these changes? To say they have âgrownâ indicates that they were lacking previously.
speak before, I have to say he sounds sincere. It seems like he has a good heart and wanted to speak cand
But this statement above is full of weirdness to my ear.
Most importantly, how can CLC have added things (pesky things like gasp, professionals!)
.
Furthermore, I got the distinct impression that when he said, ânow, in the pastâŚ.â, he caught himself and had to change direction. I feel he was going to admit that in the past, they were lacking, but he realized he had to spin his words to say, we are as strong today as we were in the past even though weâve taken all these steps in recent years to be as strong as we were in the past.
It makes no sense to the discerning ear.
.
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What, if anything, has CLC done to inform the many people who have left CLC in the recent past (two-thirds of the congregation according the the figures above), who have children that could have been exposed to Caffery during the time frame Caffery was at CLC?
I would hope that, if they truly love and are concerned about the children, they examine their extensive files in order to identify each and every child in the congregation during those years to inform parents that their child was exposed, directly or indirectly, to an accused child molester.
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Patti wrote:
I watched the video without sound (really couldn’t bear to hear it again), to see if I would be able to spot the facial expression you note. It was very evident. Rewatching that section with video, it was as you described.
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Mark definitely used “CLC speak” during this interview. It involves using words in a very affected way. Can’t explain it, but I know it when I see it.
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You can only run a con job for so long. Very telling interview. Found the statement about getting right back to the office to communicate to the church sounded more like “after this I better do some damage control “
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I think a lot of pastors in the US need to decide whether they wish to run a political business or be pastors.
@ Jack:
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Melody wrote:
One way or the other, the pastors whereof you speak have already made their choice.
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I haven’t listened to the audio of the broadcast yet, but one key phrase from the article that set off my research/report radar were the appeals by Mark Mitchell and by Terri to “independent investigator.” I immediately wondered if this was one or two separate investigations (I’ll be listening for that in the audio), and whether either/both were a reference to the involvement of Ambassadors of Reconciliation as investigators. If so, questions have long been raised here at TWW and elsewhere (and I’m not sure if they’ve been fully resolved) about how “independent” that really was. I suspect a SGM *Spotlight* team would surely want to parse that term deeply …
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@ brad/futuristguy:
The same questions entered my mind. What are the names of these ‘independent’ investigators? Inquiring minds want to know…
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Patti wrote:
Maybe he thought the camera wasn’t on him at the time?
From my experience with sociopaths, they often let the Angel of Light mask slip when they think nobody’s watching. (The best fictional dramatization of this came from the first episode of an obscure TV show called Eerie, Indiana, when the smiling sweet “Foreverware Lady” finishes speaking sweetly to someone at her door; as soon as the door is closed the mask comes off and her face just CHANGES like something you’d expect from demon possession.)
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Yes. And it’s criminal. @ Nick Bulbeck:
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Deb wrote:
Pastor X of CLC,
Pastor Y of CLC,
Pastor Z of CLC…
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Patti wrote:
Good pick up.
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@ Remnant:
Great assessment.
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Remnant wrote:
I doubt they will. It assumes they care about the people who got run over by the SGM bus.
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Jack wrote:
ROFL!
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I know it’s awful for me to even think it, let alone say it …… but I’m going to say it anyway. It’s a crying shame that the children and grandchildren of the pastors at CLC were not among those children who were abused. That might have gotten their attention. But, I wonder if they still would have covered it up?
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brad/futuristguy wrote:
Independent-my foot! How much did AOR rake in for their independent investigation?
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dee wrote:
Having worked as an independent investigator decades ago for insurance claims on things such as large computers systems or MRIs, I found I didn't get follow up work when the report was not favorable to the insurance or power company. Institutions are fussy about such things and word got around. Institutions like independent investigators that are loyal to the guys who hired them and are paying their invoice.
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@ Headless Unicorn Guy:
Hmm…you might have a point. The camera is slightly aimed at the left side of of his face and the smirk was on his right. It definitely is telling something. I do know that some people, usually narcissistic people, get very angry when accused or simply asked if they might have had less then pure motives for an action they took. My narcissist brother for example is demanding an apology from me for simply asking him if it is true that he hasn’t paid child support as my niece told me. Just by asking him somehow I am now a slanderer, ugh! In person, my brother would sound just as sincerely pure as Mark. But my brother is guilty and a smirk from him indicates both contempt for me and guilt.
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@ Bill M:
You beat me to it!
The phrase “we hired an independent …” contains an inherent logical flaw. By hiring someone, I immediately compromise their independence.
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brad/futuristguy wrote:
Brad, the “independent investigator” Mitchell refers to is Attorney Lars Leibeler. CLC reportedly paid his firm $100K.
Brent Detweiler has detailed the flaws in his findings, and has been discussing them at length at his own blog and SGM Survivors.
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The Kojo interview was hard to listen to because it went nowhere :/ I understand time constraints and appreciate the willingness to even broach the subject, but it’s still left me disappointed.
As far as the the video of Mitchell, ugh. I think someone not in the know about their history would think to themselves that he sounds sincere and had addressed how they handle things and that church functions/services are as safe as they can possibly be. However, knowing what we all do, we can see behind the caring veneer and simply assume that history repeats itself and proceed without ignorance.
I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, may God have mercy on these children and bring forth true justice against any and all involved.
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Patti wrote:
Remember, I grew up with an (undiagnosed) NPD younger brother who was also a Master Manipulator — so SINCERE!
Though usually types like that are careful to make sure only the VICTIM sees the smirk, and only when alone with NO witnesses. Plausible Deniability all the way, with pre-groomed third-party allies.
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Mark’s most disturbing line: “genuine victims”
What makes a victim “genuine” CLC? There are qualifiers to being a victim? Who decides if victims are genuine?
That line is victim-blaming 101. This is how pastors like this justify to their slimy selves that abuse doesn’t need to be reported to law enforcement. AKA “the god complex” – pastors who think they can render judgement on a victim’s genuineness, thus aligning themselves above/outside of the law.
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KMD wrote:
i.e. Mouthpiece, BOUGHT AND PAID FOR.
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Amy Smith wrote:
I was extremely bothered by this. No wonder those hurt in the SGM machine had such a difficult time coming forward. đ
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@ Headless Unicorn Guy:
Yes, yes, and yes! Hug, you totally get it then. I’m working toward my psychology degree and I’m sure you know how difficult it was for me to have to write an assignment about how we should not use email for conflict management. I agree except for cases with people like our brothers. I refuse to talk to him face to face because his niceness tricks people who have a hard time connecting the dots or hanging on to memories that are important to retain for their victim’s sake. Case in point: my sister who along with the rest of my family wants to believe the best of our brother because well after all, blood is thicker than water, was commenting one day about how well at least our brother was back in church after all he had done. My daughter said to her, ” are you kidding? He was doing all that horrible stuff at the same time he was playing Jesus in the Easter play, and going to church proves anything???”
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Amy Smith wrote:
Fireworks went off when I read that line. Sick.
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KMD wrote:
Thanks @KMD … I’ll plan on checking that out.
This kind of investigation seems to be one way that organizations seek to deflate or deflect allegations … Institute in Basic Life Principles, Sovereign Grace Ministries/SGC/CLC, Bob Jones University … how many others have used this in recent years?
It’s worth looking deeply into the question of how *independent* is “independent,” and whether the process is transparent and trustworthy, and what criteria we could use to evaluate the objectivity, tenacity, and reliability of said investigators.
But then, that is one issue about responding to systemic abuse that has emerged more strongly in the last five years or so — evaluating the evaluators — and includes not just investigations on allegations about abuses, but also other kinds of certifications on organizational finances and governance (as with ECFA) and pastoral licensing/credentials. So, we’ll see how things develop. It seems to me that abuse survivor communities are far more developed now than they were even a few years ago, and the continued activism is making a difference.
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Amy Smith wrote:
That jumped out at me, too, Amy. When I heard Mitchell say it, I remember thinking, “‘Genuine’? As opposed to… what?”
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I just read the latest post at brentdetwiler.com about someone trying to trap him into reporting false stuff again to discredit him. Interesting, I think.
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Nick Bulbeck wrote:
They have. Jesus is only used in the mix when they tell people how to vote….
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Serving Kids In Japan wrote:
“Genuine” as in “Approved by Pastor Mark”.
Starting with Pastor Mark.
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Bill M wrote:
Like forty years of doctors whose invoices were paid by Big Tobacco/
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Patti wrote:
Couldn’t you have added a section to your assignment that there is ONE major exception to this: When dealing with a charming(TM) and sincere(TM) NPD/Sociopath/Master Manipulator, it’s vitally important to distance yourself as much as possible. You have to stay out of range of the Mass Charm Person spell the NPD/Sociopath/Manipulator constantly radiates.
(I saw this in action with my brother after Dad remarried and the conflict between brother and stepmother was tearing the family apart. We’d warn Dad, we’d brief him as to what Brother was doing and trying to do, and three seconds after Dad would try to stand up to him, Brother would shine the Stupid Ray and Dad became his panting lapdog. I’m talking THAT level of Manipulator. Oh, and when he was cheating me out of what little inheritance I had from my grandmother, he INSISTED on face-to-face meetings, with shyster nastygrams to ensure it.)
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Patti wrote:
I once told a narcissistic boss, in desperation, that I was feeling completely crushed, stressed, and demoralized by all the micromanagement in our department. It was a *cri de coeur.* His response? He called my use of the word “micromanagement” “vicious.” I was stunned. My colleagues and I were the ones who were practically having a stress coronary — but he threw it back at us and played the victim.
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Catholic Gate-Crasher wrote:
That sounds like the rotten, harassing boss I had. She was a micro-manager, too.
I was once in a meeting with her and another boss of mine when she remarked to Boss #2, “You know that new supervisor, Sally, in the XYZ department? She is a real micro-manager, and I bet her subordinates don’t appreciate it.”
I sat there stunned. The woman saying this was a total micro-manager herself but was not able to recognize it in herself.
And, like your boss, my mean boss would harass myself (and others) but had the nerve to act as though she was wounded and the victim when we didn’t act friendly towards her and invite her to sit with us at lunch, etc. My sister (the verbal abuser) also pulls that, too – makes herself out to be the victim.
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Amy Smith wrote:
I’ve seen a similar tendency among a lot of other Christians.
A lot of the ones I went to in my time of grief (when I was looking for emotional support) would brush me off because they felt that only homeless people or orphaned children in third world nations were worthy of compassion.
I’ve seen other Christians say similar happened to them when they were having problems. You get a lot of that “your problems are nothing compared to ‘Group Z’s’ problems, so shut up” attitude from a lot of Christians.
It’s definitely made me very hesitant to divulge personal information about myself with Christians I meet in real life.
It’s like with some of them, you have to meet very narrow, specific criteria (of their choosing) before they will extend help, compassion, or empathy towards you.
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Catholic Gate-Crasher wrote:
There’s a study somewhere out there that found that the most certain characteristic of a Sociopath is the ability to “throw it back at you and play the poor poor innocent victim.” Well over 90% correlation.
Shine the Stupid Ray, cast the Mass Charm Person spell, and WIN.
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I just wrote a blog where I outed an individual, most likely a Covenant Life Church member, for posting 7 comments on my blog supporting the claims of innocence by Mark Mitchell and others. Each entry had a different name and email. Most email addresses were false. As I mentioned in my blog, I have always allowed any and all comments, and I was going to let the first few comments of this individual stand, but as the person continued to comment I decided to put a stop to it.
While I don’t want to paint with too wide of a brush, this individual does give you an indication of the mindset of those who swill the CLC/SGM/SGC Kool-Aid.
https://thouarttheman.org/2016/04/05/suspected-covenant-life-church-member-church-proud/
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Todd Wilhelm wrote:
SOCK PUPPET CITY.
(And/or rank amateur DDOS.)
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Can you gather grapes from thistles? Someone said that.
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Todd Wilhelm wrote:
Did you do some sleuthing to find out source? Was the ip address static assigned to an institution or some end user on DSL or cable? Maybe they use dial-up as they seem to come from the stone age.
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You cannot resolve conflict with people who only want to win.
@ Headless Unicorn Guy:
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@ Jack:
Bingo. It is all a big con. From CJ to Mark Mitchell.
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@ Deb:
If CLC or SGM paid them it doesn’t count as independent.
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@ Dr. Fundystan, Proctologist:
Nope. Focus on is always on fruit. Is it good or rotten?
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@ Catholic Gate-Crasher:
Narcissist always play the victim after creating horrible stress and chaos. The problem today is our society caters to narcissistic tendencies. Even our justice system.
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@ Lydia: So true!
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@ Bill M:
Yep. That is exactly right.
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Is it just me or were others disturbed by Pastor Mitchell’s exhortation for parents to trust God to care for their kids (about 3:20 into announcement)?
He is talking into a context where children were abused. It is not a trust in God problem. This is human sin and failure in the church leadership problem.
As a pastor, I am horrified by what such a message in this context might convey. For example, it may imply the parents of the molested children didn’t trust God enough. Or it may convey that God isn’t trustworthy…etc. All of these are not healthy or wise pastoral messages to be sending. They exacerbate an already traumatic situation with spiritual wounds.
Further, I am struck that he places the trust issue back on the parents to trust God when the question is whether or not to trust him and the other CLC pastoral staff with their kids. Some might even be bold enough to say that trust was broken…Mitchell even admitted that they would not have allowed this fellow to serve with kids had they been aware of his admitted propensity towards child abuse. Where is the statement about how he is leading the effort to rebuild the trust lost in that major oversight?!
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Remnant wrote:
I watched it without the audio, got a little beyond the five minute mark, and suddenly–boom–there goes something seriously awry with his facial expression. Wondered “Was that it?” Scrolled back, turned on the sound and there it was, the very spot where he denies the coverup. I’m a certified fraud examiner, I teach fraud to both students and professionals in the industry, just last year, I spoke at a state conference of the ACFE. In my professional opinion, Mark is absolutely, positively lying when he denies the coverup. His face is going off the charts.
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Divorce Minister wrote:
Yes! It immediately “simplifies” and diminishes the situation.
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@ Law Prof:
W.o.w! Thank you for your analysis and confirmation.
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Divorce Minister wrote:
Don’t you think that was an attempt to get the listeners to stop looking at them and their wrong doing?
Thank you Dee and Deb and those of you who continue to be watchmen on the walls. I know from personal experience that makes many uncomfortable and want to quiet you up but good for you.
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@ Law Prof:
Interesting!
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Law Prof wrote:
So I was curious and did the same thing, watched with the sound off, the corner of his mouth was suddenly contorted. I then replayed it listening and read his facial expression as an expression of his contempt for his critics. A different take but still not very flattering for a “pastor”.
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Melody wrote:
I think a lot of pastors in the US need to decide whether they wish to run a political business or be pastors.
Good comment.
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Daisy wrote,
“Itâs like with some of them, you have to meet very narrow, specific criteria (of their choosing) before they will extend help, compassion, or empathy towards you.”
I’ve been on the receiving end of that, too, but not just from Christians. A Jewish clerk asked me — a customer — to move so that he could show extra courtesy to another customer who was of a different minority. His boss, also Jewish, quietly told him to handle things so that both of us customers were treated courteously!!!
It seems to me that when people get overly invested in following a script — especially if the script has some cosmic meaning to it — common sense and good judgment go out the window.
I’ve been able to minimize disappointing interactions with people largely by building relationships with individuals who seem to share my values, rather than looking toward a group (a church, e.g.). It is a little lonelier and might take longer, but it also saves me the spiritual gut-punch that comes with rejection by someone I presumed to be of like mind and heart.
But this discussion is about callousness toward survivors of vile abuse, and toward those who love them. I guess the corresponding point is that I no longer presume that someone identifying as Christian — or a devout person of any religion — is therefore trustworthy. I’m more likely to seek help or support or services from someone who has been vetted by other beneficiaries, who has a good reputation for what I seek. Just saying they’re part of a religious and therefore compassionate group, worthy of my trust, is NOT enough.
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Amy Smith wrote:
That phrase “genuine victims” jumped out at me as well. There is an underlying assumption that he and the church are to be the arbiters of who is being genuine. Notice – no appeal to the law to adjudicate. There is a smugness in that kind of reply, which is a dangerous thing when your church has been charged with sex abuse allegations. I would think that humility would be the best course of action at this point. Is that too much to ask for?
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Ok….so I'm watching the video and I've gotten to the point where Mark Mitchell is talking about Caffery's book – referring to the disturbing statement that Caffery would be tempted to molest a daughter if he had one. First, Mitchell doesn't come out directly and state what Caffery said, so if the members of the church aren't up to speed, how would they know the very disturbing statement Caffery made in the first place? It seems Mitchell is beating around the bush. Why not be blunt when it comes to things such as child sex abuse? Furthermore, it seems like Caffery's book was handed around to quite a few people, and no one actually read the book entirely? Hmmm… Another thing, Mitchell says that the pastor (first name Robin) looked at a specific chapter – chapter 8 – and wrote on the page "Why is this in here?" Well, we're never told in the video what *this* is – only that "there was a tone in that chapter that seemed particularly out of place." The only reason given for not having the book in the church's bookstore is because it "wouldn't be appropriate." I think Mitchell is being rather ambiguous in this whole matter. It almost sends the message: There's nothing to see here folks so let's move along.
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Darlene wrote:
Darlene,
As I and several others who have read the book have stated, Caffery’s book is basically one big, red flag. Anyone who does even a “cursory” reading would realize this is not a guy you would want anywhere near children or in any leadership capacity in the church whatsoever.
Robin Boisvert was supposedly given the assignment by the then senior pastor, Joshua Harris of reading the book to determine if it was worth placing in their bookstore. Boisvert has now claimed he only gave the book a “cursory read.” I have trouble believing this for 2 reasons: first if the senior pastor asks me to read a book with the express purpose of determining whether it is suitable for the bookstore, I am going to give it a thorough read, not a cursory read. Second, it is doubtful if Boisvert only gave the book a cursory read he would offer suggestions to Caffery on how to improve it. He obviously read chapter 8 thoroughly.
As I have mentioned elsewhere, I read the entire book thoroughly and it took me 2 or 3 hours. I believe Robin Boisvert also read the book thoroughly. Covenant Life Church pastors must maintain their “cursory reading” “fell through the cracks” story. If they were to admit Boisvert read the whole book the obvious question we then would ask is how they could possibly let this guy work in the children’s ministry.
Even if Boisvert read just chapter 8, which he suggested Caffery drop entirely, it should have revealed Caffery’s character well enough that you could determine he is not a guy you want in any church position.
It sounds like the chapter consisted of a 9-page rant to a judge for awarding full custody of Caffery’s boys from his first marriage to his ex-wife. Here is the quote from the relevant section of Caffery’s book:
“This chapter was a verbatim letter written to Master James L. Ryan of the Circuit Court for Montgomery County Maryland. In the letter, I chastised Mr. Ryan for making, what I believed, was a wrong decision in awarding Candy full custody of our sons. The letter was nine pages in length, and gave me much room to criticize and make degrading remarks about Candy. Upon reading the first printing of this book, one of the pastors at Covenant Life Church suggested that if I were to ever do a reprint of the book I would do well to eliminate chapter eight. Well, the time for a reprint did come, but I decided to try a rewrite, rather than eliminate the entire chapter.”
Larry E. Caffery. Years of Grace, Life of Mercy (Kindle Locations 884-888). Kindle Edition.
The bottom line, IMO, is Covenant Life Church leaders are praying no victims come forward who were abused by Caffery while in the children’s ministry. This book would sound the death knell for CLC. Again, I am no expert, but it seems like gross negligence to allow Caffery anywhere near children.
As an aside, I read on SGM Survivors that Larry Caffery officially changed his name from Lawrence to Larry in 1998. A reasonable person might wonder what is he hiding?
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(Embarrassed at the many above typos. My ipad has been freezing and double-pasting and, while I thought I had edited my comments sufficiently, alas, I had not. Sorry.)
It must be unbearably exhausting to write and speak in the manner MM exhibited in his video. First a long, drawn out preface, then an unbearably tedious introduction to the topic, then when the topic is discussed, it is never fully realized, then a conclusion summarizing what he just almost said but didn’t quite say.
It must be unbearably exhausting to LISTEN to this type of communication on a regular basis. One keeps listening for a point, but a point is never fully revealed. I imagine one might think they have missed it in the midst of the rambling, they turn to their neighbor, not wanting to appear foolish for missing the main point, and declare, “Now that was a good sermon (or announcement)!” To which the neighbor, also not want to appear foolish, heartily agrees. And this is how the emperor wears no clothes.
I find it rude. It is deceptive. It is not respectful of my time or of my intelligence.
i encourage everyone to watch MM’s announcement regarding Caffery without audio. It’s a surreal experience.
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@ Todd Wilhelm:
I really think Caffery presented as normal to Bosivart’s normal. The depraved humble brag. Mahaney had his version of it: I am the biggest sinner I know.
In their world, a confessed pervert who comes to church and hangs on their every word is how it works there. Obviously, Bosivart knew or he would not have told him to tone it down. Caffery is SGM/CLC normal. It is only embarrassing when it gets outside the cult.
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__
“Hell Hath Frozen Over?”
hmmm…
 Some seven documented ‘convictions’ of child sexual abuse over the years is not enought to clearly demonstrate a serious long-term problem with child abuse within the rank and file of this religious 501(c)3 organization?
Go figure?
(sadface)
Sopy
—
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Law Prof wrote:
I need to temper this somewhat, perhaps it was the mood I was in last night, perhaps the glass of wine. I tend to get emotionally involved, amped up, which is fine for the lecture hall but not so hot for a professional in law/accounting/fraud examination.
If someone were to ask me for a personal opinion, I’d say he’s flat out lying. But as a professional, a CFE, all I can say is that at the point where he denies a coverup there’s some type of emotional upheaval going on within him that really leaps out when looking for nonverbal cues, akin to a major spike in a polygraph. That does not necessarily mean he’s lying, but it does mean that compared with the baseline of the balance of the video, something highly unusual appears to be going on within him at that point.
Sorry for going off yesterday evening.
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Covenant Life Church and SGM would not exist if it weren’t for the multitude of undiscerning folks who attend there, giving their resources to perpetuate them! Churches and ministries with an extensive background of child abuse allegations is not on my checklist of potential churches to attend when shopping for a new church. Forget the free coffee/donuts, cool music, and easy believism … move on!!
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Bill M wrote:
Not a fruit of the Spirit (Holy Spirit, i.e.)
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@ Law Prof:
I appreciated your comment from last evening and found it enlightening. No apology necessary.
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@ Max:
Can you fathom how much money flowed from CLC and SGM into Neo-Cal entities? Wonder if anyone on the inside will ever investigate just how much left their coffers.
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@ Deb:
Mahaney purchased influence with the New Calvinist elite using SGM tithes; Mohler, Duncan, and Dever wouldn’t have given him a second look, otherwise – he just doesn’t fit with their superior intellects. I suspect the New Calvinist movement enjoyed generous gifts in various places from Mahaney during its early days when the SGM gravy train was really rolling.
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Max wrote:
MONEY TALKS.
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Deb wrote:
Don’t ask Political Questions, Comrade.
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@ Max:
I also think Mahaney brought the whole conference organizing structure to the table outside the purview of the SBC. Dever is autonomous but did not have the infrastructure. Mohler needed it separate from SBTS. Duncan also did not have the infrastructure in place.
Mahaney was SGM and could do what he wanted with SGM resources. No one dared question. It gave him a national gravitas he could never have managed on his own outside the Shepherding cult. Mohler and Dever gave him a more mainstream credibily that a former Apostle of the People of Destiny needed.
And he paid them off. :o)
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Lydia wrote:
That’s HEAD Apostle of the People of Destiny!
(HUMBLY self-titled/self-proclaimed, of course. Ego much?)
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@ Law Prof:
Law Professor,
Thank you so much for your professional opinion. Mine observations are from a lifetime of experience. My first boyfriend was 18 when I was 15 and he was a Bible carrying leader and a date rapist and super narcissist. I learned that smirk from his contempt and lies. My father-n-law was a narcissist. My husband exhibited some of his traits but they were mostly learned behaviors from his dad which he has been able to unlearn. Our first twelve years of marriage were rough. After he came clean about every thing, he said I was right on every one of my allegations of his lies and contempts. We have been married for 35 years. So when I noticed all the symptoms in my baby brother (10 years younger) back when he was a teenager, I knew what was coming and sure enough he has devastated his now ex-wife and children. I always saw through him. The ugly stuff that has come out of his closet is awful. Every time my brother has smirked like that, I knew it was contempt, but also found out later he was lying also. SGM is a whole organization of narcissist leaders with duped followers. I knew it back when I was trying to help the young people in my Pacific Northwest area discern Mark Driscoll who they were idolizing. That was when I noticed his 3 mentors listed in the corner of one of his video sermons. John Piper, someone I can’t remember, and CJ Mahaney. I didn’t know Mahaney, but the name sounded so familiar so I looked it up. That was when I had discovered that he was the pastor of my daughter’s East Coast college boyfriend his whole life and that was when I began investigating stuff, scared spitless for my daughter because I had been raised in that same kind of environment in an IFB school and church. Many teachers were not who they seemed to be to the parents. One learns to read the signs people think they can hide. Anyway, I say all this because it amazes me how I get so criticized by my family and friends for being cynical of other people’s motives and truthfulness. I am dismissed because for some reason Christians don’t trust the wounded. But we are supposed to trust the scars in Jesus’ hands. I am sure that there were physiological signs that did not even take a supernatural reading of Judas to give away his disingenuousness. Ha, another sign possibly–with Mitchell saying that line about victims. He knows full well what a horrible thing he’s done throwing doubt into minds about victims truthfulness. Why would he do that if he has nothing to hide?
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Lydia wrote:
So they have to continue to cover Mahaney … he knows too much.
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@ Max:
That is my theory. He is such a hot potato nothing else much makes sense. Being the organizer with low profile after scandals was not working for someone like Mahaney who is used to stages. And Mahaney is known to play the blackmail card with long time partners. And he knows a lot about SBTS partnering with SGM that might not reasonate well with those paying big money to attend there.
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Max wrote:
Superior intellects? That’s like saying… well… we’ll leave it there.
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@ Muff Potter:
That would be self-proclaimed superior intellect. Mahaney admires Mohler’s big stack of books.
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@ Remnant:
You so eloquently explained “CLC speak”. It WAS exhausting to listen to when I was there. And besides the content things you mentioned, the pastors draw out and enunciate their words very clearly. It’s very odd.
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Remnant wrote:
It can also be a means of breaking down one’s will over time. When you’re fed a steady diet of this and try to make sense of it and in spite of good faith efforts cannot and assume the problem must just be you, it will cause you to question your ability to perceive, your judgment, and eventually, your sanity. At some point you become suggestible, credulous, and anything they wish to put in your head, not matter how unreasonable, illogical, awful in its consequences, in it goes. Think Orwell and Big Brother. It’s a subtle form of brainwashing and torture.
Not suggesting CLC, SGM, A29 or various other nominally Christian but ultimately cultic groups have leaders who plot this out and consciously know what they’re doing, it’s just that’s the pattern they’re taught and often they too have had their brains rearranged according to the cult model.
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Muff Potter wrote:
“Intelligence 18, Wisdom 3”.
“Wile E Coyote. SUPER. GENIUS.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIPr23xyoZg
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Remnant wrote:
Sounds like the proscecutors at the O.J.Simpson trial — and look where it got them.
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Max wrote:
And where everybody else’s bodies are buried.
“The secret of successful blackmail is not to press your mark too hard, or he might get desperate.”
— One of the Judge Dee Mysteries
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Remnant wrote:
At the Newfrontiers cult I attended (think SGM, A29, neocal with a Brit twist), it was about contradictions; pastor would give a sermon in which he said X, then non-X, then X, then back to non-X within the same sermon, sometimes separated by minutes. This was not the sort of wonderful apparent contradiction/brain twisting truths that Jesus would speak. You’d try and put it all together but it would not fit in spite of your best efforts. If you spoke with pastor in private, asking for explanations of things, it was more of the same and he’d tie you up in knots with the most bizarre contradictions and unreasonable flashes of hostility–all while accusing you of doing exactly what he was doing. It was one of the most maddening, frustrating experiences of my life, trying to find a human being with introspection somewhere in there when talking one on one with him. Had we not gotten out, it would’ve become difficult to know up from down.
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Todd Wilhelm wrote:
So, are Mitchell and others protecting Boisvert, and if so, why? Could he and others be prosecuted for crimes of not reporting what they might have suspected was a child molester? From what I read (maybe on your blog) clergy are not mandated reporters in the state of Maryland. And this is where I get the states mixed up. Were Caffery’s crimes committed in Maryland or Virginia? Do you think this cover-up is a means to deflect from their very abusive practices in the Covenant Life School – the very place where some of the children were physically and sexually abused? Would you say that the “red flags” are in every chapter of Caffery’s book? Is the book still available and in print? I know, a lot of questions but it seems that the more these folks try to run, hide, and cover up the truth – the worse it will eventually turn out for them. It isn’t really all about them anyway – it’s about the victims. Of course, when you question whether there are “genuine” victims, that speaks VOLUMES.
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Lydia wrote:
WOW! This sounds like material for a movie. One Hand Washes the Other: The story of SGM and its ties to the Neo-Calvinist Movement. It would be a compelling documentary. At least for TWW readers.
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Darlene wrote:
That’s the problem! Apparently, only a handful of bloggers and their commenters appear to give a big whoop about these matters. The silence of millions in the pews is deafening as the tentacles of the reformed movement extend into mainline Christianity. The shenanigans of New Calvinism and their iconic leaders continue to sweep across America largely unchallenged. Before you know it, potty-mouth Driscoll will launch an unrepentant comeback (ohhh, wait a minute, he already has!).
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Law Prof wrote:
This was “OCEANIA HAS ALWAYS BEEN AT PEACE WITH EURASIA!” doublethink.
(That scene in 1984 was based on a real event — a Soviet Communist Party Commissar who was making a speech about the Nazi-Soviet Pact/Eternal Comradeship between the USSR and Nazi Germany when he received news that Germany had invaded Russia. The Party Line literally flipped one-eighty in mid-sentence, just as in Orwell’s political cartoon of the scene.)
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Read this exchange at the SGM surivors site. It’s addressing the situation when the Pyromaniac’s blog opened up a thread for SGM survivor’s to address the problems in their organization. It is quite eye opening.
http://www.sgmsurvivors.com/2012/05/12/team-pyro-opens-it-up/
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@ Darlene:
Amazing, isn’t it Darlene? That thread was 4 years ago and a lot of real horror had come out to even get to the point pyro played that blog game….and here we are…Mahaney preaching on Job in a few days at T4G to 8 thousand adoring young pastor fans.
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Lydia, me thinks that if the lid had been opened on the same kind of abuses in a Pentecostal, Word of Faith, or non-Calvinist church, the Pyro guys would have been all over it.
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I wonder, has PJ Smyth weighed in on the latest arrest and crisis?
At the very least, it seems to me that he could have instructed the pastors at CLC (MM specifically), to cut the SGM-speak and to come clean in a very clear and specific manner.
Or is he going to let his pastors lead on in the same old manner?
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Dave (Eagle) wrote:
“I AM THE TERROR THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT!”
— Darkwing Duck
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Remnant wrote:
Like attending one of Caesar Nero’s lyre concerts…
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@ Headless Unicorn Guy:
Or Stalin’s speeches…
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Anyone notice the latest series at CLC?
Join Us Starting April 3 for the Restless Series
In a busy and broken world, our anxious hearts ache for rest. As we search for this elusive peace, we often find ourselves even more troubled when the people and things we hoped would help let us down.
Early church father and theologian Augustine famously said, âYou have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in You.â The book of Psalms is one of the Bibleâs go-to places for honest reflection on the pain of life. In the midst of real troubles the Psalms point us to the One who understands us best and is the ultimate source of peace in our difficulties. In God alone, we find what our hearts long for.
Over five Sundays, we will consider the real hope and true comfort offered to us in the Psalms.
April 3 | Peace (Psalm 23)
April 10 | Security (Psalm 90)
April 17 | Satisfaction (Psalm 73)
April 24 | Happiness (Psalm 103)
May 1 | Direction (Psalm 25)
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@ George:
Yes, I noticed that over on the church website.