TWW Definitions

Our Glossary of Terms

The Prime Directive: This is the most important term on our blog. Violators of this directive will be looked upon as ideologues, pumping up their particular idol- be it theological or human. This directive states the following: All commenters must acknowledge the pain some people have experienced at the hand of pastors and churches which overemphasize a particular doctrine or which apply harsh and capricious discipline or cover up child abuse. TWW exists, in part, to provide understanding in this area. We are dead serious about this (even though it is based on a concept from Star Trek). We repeat this doctrine under Rules of the Road.

Calvinista: These are Calvinists gone wild. They are self-important, self-assured, and absolutely convinced that they know what the Bible says on every subject. They also believe anyone who doesn't agree with them is utterly wrong. They spend lots of time running around to conferences, getting together with other guys (women have no place in this discussion) who also agree with them 100%. In fact, they spend more time speaking at conferences than pastoring their churches.

Redneck Theology: These are the guys who confuse patriotism with Christianity and are convinced that even major religions are "cults". They call each other by their first names with brother inserted (e.g. Brother Bob). They come up with new Biblical mandates such as "God wants us to have a quiverfull." "Jesus created nonalcoholic wine." "It is heresy to believe the world is older than 6000 years".

Boutique Seminaries: These are started by pastors who want to be sure that their particular brand of theology is taught. In other words, they don't trust any other seminary to get it right.

BABES: An acronym for "Bible Answer Babes Explaining Scripture".

The Calvinista Politburo: SBTS which is in Louisville. Louis=Left



The Flintstone Doctrine

  • The heavens and earth were created in 6 literal 24-hour days.
  •  Yom must only be interpreted as a literal, 24-hour day although it has around 58 meanings.
  • The earth is 6,000 years old. (Radical Young Earthers may stretch the age of the earth to a whopping 10,000 years old!)
  • Death of animals is a moral equivalent of death of men. Therefore, animals couldn’t die until Adam let sin enter the world.
  •  All dating methods are flawed and are off by billions of years.
  • Satan probably planted the fossil evidence.
  •  God created the universe to look old. Despite the obvious, God is not trying to trick us.
  •  All science research done by YE (Young Earth) is true. All scientific research done by anyone else is part of a vast conspiracy to suppress the truth.
  • Christians who are part of the scientific establishment are doing it for money and tenure and are sell-outs and cowards. They know that YE is true and are actively involved in deceiving their Christian community.
  • Dinosaurs boarded Noah’s Ark two by two and survived the flood.
  •  Dinosaurs played with children while mom did the dishes (See example in creation museum)
  • Prior to the fall, all carnivorous dinosaurs were herbivores, even though God created them with GYNORMOUS teeth.
  •  Wives are strictly “helpmeets” to their husbands. They must role model Mrs. Ham who is not only submissive, but very, very submissive. When dinosaurs roamed the earth (prior to their extinction) they may have been domesticated to help with household chores (aka the Dino theory).
  •  Men are not merely men but patriarchs.
  •  One is a heretic and most likely not a Christian unless all criteria above are met.
  • All evolutionists are atheists. Therefore, Francis Collin is not a Christian no matter what he says.