"This is the Horrible place [where] I spent 15 months as a teenager. It is a cult and my parents did not know….HE ABUSED US TEENAGE GIRLS, and screwed up our minds, and broke our spirits…There was no love. We are all still healing 20-30 yrs later."
We are continuing our focus on girls' homes affiliated with Independent Fundamental Baptist Churches in the United States. In this post we will be taking a look at a girls' home that continues to operate – Hephzibah House – located in Warsaw, Indiana. It was established around 44 years ago (in 1971). The screen shot below includes information currently provided on the website.
Hephzibah House may sound like a wholesome environment for teenage girls based on the information provided; however, individuals have come forward claiming it was anything but that. A number of years ago, a group of Hephzibah House 'survivors' began speaking out about their horrific experiences while living there. One very concerned woman who brought attention to these alleged abuses was Jeri Massi, who wrote Schizophrenic Christianity. This book, which was published in 2008, denounced corruption within Christian Fundamentalism that has brought great harm, particularly to children. Dee has mentioned Schizophrenic Christianity it in several of her posts, and I am in the process of reading it. You can find Massi's book, along with a summary, over at Amazon. NOTE: This is an unsolicited, unpaid endorsement.
One of the blessings of blogging is that we get to know so many wonderful people, and not just through exchanges on the internet. Several years ago we had a wonderful lunch with Jeri Massi, who happens to be a HUGE Dr. Who fan. She is a such a blessing to the downtrodden in the Independent Fundamental Baptist movement.
In the aftermath of publishing her book, Jeri Massi interviewed former residents of the girls' home and put together The Lambs of Hephzibah House — an audio documentary that alleges severe abuse of residents at Hephzibah House. The husband of one of the former residents had this to say regarding Massi's efforts:
This is stunningly well done. Everyone…should listen. How can you judge without HEARING the witnesses? – Husband of a Hephzibah House Surviror, Minnesota
Two years after Massi made The Lambs of Hephzibah House audio documentary available, CNN aired the following report.
Gary Tuchman, who is featured in this video clip, interviewed some of the same former residents who shared their testimonies with Jeri.
With more and more people speaking out about Hephzibah House and other abusive girls' homes, survivors became more vocal about what they experienced. Some even staged a protest, as the following video shows.
The legislation mentioned in this clip passed in the State House but not in the Senate. đ However, the good news is that this information is finally getting out to an unsuspecting public.
Someone who blogs at Chucklestravels is also trying to educate the public about Hephzibah House. Here is just some of the information published on that website:
The Hephzibah House is a Winona Lake, Indiana boarding school for troubled teenage girls usually committed by their parents and recommended by Baptist pastors. The school/home does not fit any category for a state license. A private religious school does not require state certification. In other words, there’s not much the state government can do about the abuse of former members unless the laws are changed. As mentioned in Tuchman’s interview, according to current Indiana law there needs to be a complaint while a student is a current student. Girls rarely, if ever leave the compound the entire time they are at Hephzibah House. Phone calls to the girls parents are listened in on by a staff member on an extension. The girls are told they can only talk about positives at Hephzibah House on these calls. Letters home to parents are censored. If the letter does not pass the censor, the letter is given back to the girl to be re-written.
What is written above, are not isolated incidents. The former Hephzibah House ladies have been telling horrifying, very similar accounts for nearly 4 decades.
In the wake of all this criticism, the three staff members of Hepzibah House — Ronald Williams (the founder), Donald Williams (son of the founder), and David Halyaman sent out this letter, presumably to the supporters of girls' home. Please take the time to click on the link and read the letter. In case you'd like to read the bios of these three men, they can be found here. Perhaps not surprisingly, the Hephzibah House website also includes Rebuttals which attempt to discredit the critics.
With regard to the claims of spankings by the survivors who have come forward, there is an open admittance on the website that they did, in fact, take place. See the following screen shot from the site.
If you look at the other allegations against Hephzibah House, the ones about keeping track of bodily functions seems rather odd… (these are included in the list of Rebuttals linked above). And in the FAQ section on the website, Hephzibah House leaders respond to these questions:
And as expected, the website includes Testimonies that endorse the work being done at Hephzibah House.
One thing is for certain, the changes that have occurred at this Indiana girls' home would not have occurred had survivors not come forward with their own testimonies. In the wake of the information shared by these whistleblowers, we have one simple question, why would anyone send their child to one of these homes? Surely there is another alternative…
Lydia's Corner: Leviticus 19:1-20:21 Mark 8:11-38 Psalm 42:1-11 Proverbs 10:17
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First?
And before I even read the article, my first reaction to the title, “Oh, no! It’s still open? I thought it was closed! đ
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Okay – I’ve read the article and my opinion is that nothing has changed but the promotional wording. As long as the Williams’ are running it, the core essence of what it is won’t change. I had somehow gotten the idea that it had been closed down. I am extremely sad that it is still being run and by the same man who always did. My heart breaks for any and all girls incarcerated there – past, present and future. đ
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@ Jeannette Altes:
Hephzibah House maintains a website, so I am making the assumption that it is still operating…
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@ Jeannette Altes:
Agreed!
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Yeah, I looked at the website and it looks current and like they are still going. Not sure where I got the idea they had been closed. Wishful thinking, maybe. I lost track of the story after Danni passed 5 years ago plus being hip-deep in working on my own healing.
I will reiterate that it Ron and Don Williams are still involved, in my opinion, nothing will have changed in the essence of how they run things. When I read the screen shot from their website, it sounded anything but benign. But I understand the Christianese wording. The following 2 quotes are, to me, chilling, because I have read the girls accounts and know what is meant by these words….
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@ Jeannette Altes:
We have to keep sounding the alarm, which is why we wanted to do a post on Hephzibah House.
Why is it still open, and who is funding it?
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Thank you for what you guys do.
As a victim, I am acutely aware that stories of abuse are difficult to hear.
It is never pleasant – comfortable – to hear accounts of these things. I know it is hard on you both to read these things and spend time immersed in the research.
Thank you.
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About a year ago I ran across one of the sites that tells the individual stories of some of the survivors of Hephzibah house. I had nightmares afterward. It is unconscionable that the house is no only still running, but that the Williams family is still allowed to run it and not in jail.
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It’s still open?!
Hey, here’s a possible unicorn chaser. St. Innocent’s Academy, in Kodiak, Alaska, is “a community and academy for high-school-aged children in need” (per their site). The bad news is that a few months ago former students began accusing the rector of physical and verbal abuse going back years. The good news is that the religious court associated with his denomination (Bulgarian Eastern Orthodox) immediately put him on leave, investigated him, then deposed and as of this week defrocked him. He is still a communicant in the church, but he is not being shuffled off to a position of power somewhere else with no warning to the locals. Criminal investigation is ongoing.
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I read the accounts of former students and witnesses, BTW, and my heart just hurts. It’s all so familiar. An outward show of happiness. Promises of preparation for a more capable and fulfilling life. Isolation from anybody outside the group. Continual preaching of suspicion, investment of innocuous local events and ordinary people with cosmic significance inimical to the group. Picking a scapegoat–and don’t forget, this could be you! Abuse handed out with words of love; if you really wanted to change for the better, you wouldn’t be protesting. Claims of exclusive knowledge of the one true way. Claims of special insight into the minds of others. Obsession with every last detail of behavior, expression, action. Making up sins in order to accuse someone. Forcing victims to accuse themselves of made-up sins. Flinging accusations about and hoping something will stick so that consequent guilt and shame can be used as a leash. Pretending that what is said in confidence will not be shouted from one floor to another. Lying about one person to another. Using meetings (religious and non-) to single out individuals for public shaming and shunning. Hiring staff, then using them instead as unpaid labor while their ostensible jobs go undone. Heaping abuse upon the powerless: the mentally unsteady, the disabled, little children. Providing just enough happiness that people wonder if they’re imagining things. And always, always, the steady drumbeat that there is no hope outside the group, that life will never get any better than this…I’d seen it from Reverend Phelps, from the so-called Church of Scientology, from Ayn Rand’s inner circle–and now in an Orthodox Christian parish of all places. Give some people a little power and they will take all they can get.
PS: It actually took about 9 months of fruitless effort by everyone from ex-students to members of the diocesan hierarchy, followed by 3 months of public accusation, for the Metropolitan to take action. But he did in the end.
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Thank you for the kind words! Your link to SCHIZOPHRENIC CHRISTIANITY points to an out-of-date edition of the book. Here is the link to the current edition: http://www.amazon.com/Schizophrenic-Christianity-Christian-Fundamentalism-Sociopaths-ebook/dp/B00LWHS6IS/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1427192558&sr=1-1&keywords=schizophrenic+christianity
Cheers,
Jeri Massi
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Deb and Dee,
I am humbled and thankful that the two of you have felt led to take up the task of trying to shine a spotlight into this deep, dark hole of intentional, deliberate child trauma. What Jenny Islander describes above should resound loudly with anyone who has survived a cult and ritualistic brain-washing. I will say again, like I have in many other places, knowing WHY this is done to children, and the intended results of this treatment by the perpetrators is even more important than everyone coming to the realization that it has happened, is happening right now (Marvelous Grace Girls Academy. Pace, FL.) and will likely continue to happen until it’s established as to why they do it and how they get away with it. Until such a time, I don’t see it stopping.
My recommendation in one aspect, though it may not mean much, is to dig around in IN politics. Look at who is connected politically to Ron Williams, and the people who support HH. Blast that all over the place. If you look in the right places, you’ll see how embroiled, IMO, politics have been in the decades-long cover up at the New Bethany Girls Home. And you know what wouldn’t surprise me? Finding out that at the top of the IFB Children’s Home food chain, they’re holding hands with some very shady and powerful people.
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Hey, does anybody know if S. M. Davis – who seems to be pretty well-known in IFB circles, but Vision Forum also sold his talks and I’ve critiqued some of them at my blog – was ever on the Hephzibah House board and/or sent his daughter there? Somebody claimed this on a Fundamental Forums thread, and since this guy keeps coming up in my Vision Forum research, I’d like to be able to confirm this if possible. I have all the links in this post.
https://scarletlettersblog.wordpress.com/2013/12/10/how-to-develop-character-in-your-children-tbb/
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@ jeriwho:
When we met you a couple years ago, I didn't know that much about the IFB or Hephzibah House. Thanks so much for your diligence in getting this information out.
Also, I appreciate your letting me know about the link to Amazon, and I have fixed it. The latest edition, which we now link to, is the one I have.
Pingback: The recognition she deserves | Civil Commotion
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Yes, SM Davis was a board member at Hephzibah House. Yes, his daughter was sent to Hephzibah House and married Ron Williams second son in what we understand to have been an arranged betrothal/courtship. There is an anonymous testimony on the HH website that is written by SM Davis regarding his daughter. Davis and Williams stepped away from Gothard and ATI together and became much more militant and began producing and marketing there own materials on how to best break a spirit and raise the perfect obedient, mindless, submissive child~the ultimate goal. I really believe that in spite of Williams change in tactics the essence of the philosophy of breaking the will of a child is abusive. Think about it….how could you possibly break the will of a human being without some sort of violence? Susan Grotte
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It makes me just sick that there are girls locked in that same basement right now, sleeping in the same bunk beds I slept in 35 years ago. Recently we heard of a mother who was looking into sending her daughter to Hephzibah house. The mother could not be swayed and her daughter is allegedly at Hephzibah House right now, locked up with an aging madman and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. Susan Grotte
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This post reminded me of the novel Jane Eyre, the first part of which the title character spent describing her childhood, much of it at the infamous Lowood school for orphan girls. Given what I’ve read so far of Hepzibah house, I think Lowood would have been preferable, even during the tenure of the headmaster, Mr. Brocklehurst. It was only after his forced removal in the wake of that plague of typhus that sweeps through the school, that things really improve for Jane and her peers.
“Making up sins in order to accuse someone. Forcing victims to accuse themselves of made-up sins. Flinging accusations about and hoping something will stick so that consequent guilt and shame can be used as a leash. Pretending that what is said in confidence will not be shouted from one floor to another. Lying about one person to another. Using meetings (religious and non-) to single out individuals for public shaming and shunning.”
Brainwashing, scapegoating, enlightened self-criticism, etc.? When a school’s disciplinary protocols resemble the tactics of a communist prison camp, it’s time for as much media publicity as possible followed by a thorough housecleaning. I hope they also expose this “church” that has been allegedly overseeing the place.
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Think about itâŚ.how could you possibly break the will of a human being without some sort of violence? Susan Grotte
Heh…I dunno, ask Michael Pearl.
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Jenny Islander wrote:
Thank you for alerting us to this. Thankfully, the denomination did something. Unfortunately the IFB allows these guys free rein with little accountability.
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Jenny Islander wrote:
Money and power- the two corrupting agents in the church.
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tbird is right. Several years ago I looked into Ron’s earnings. Over the three year period that I checked, Ron was raking in between $300,000 to $350,000 per year in donations (everything was classified as a donation). Ron Williams is a millionaire many times over and a heavy contributor to ultra-conservatives in Indiana. A few years ago he was commended for his substantial donations to Republican politics. Susan Grotte probably has the details on record.
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tbird wrote:
If you can get us started, we would be happy to do this. I love to make calls to the offices of politicians and would be happy to do so.
If you could email us or write a comment about a couple of politicians associated with these homes, we would sure appreciate it. And, as always, everything you write to us in an email will be strictly confidential as to your identity.
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@ Susan Grotte:
Would you ever consider writing your personal experience with Hepzibah House for our blog? Please send us an email. However, do not feel like you must.
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NJ wrote:
Great comment. I hadn’t thought of that connection!
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Deb
Thank you for keeping up with this series. As you can see, we have much more to write about. I know you love digging into the BFFs of people. We need to find out what politicians were involved in supporting this group-particularly those who served on boards, etc. I would love to make some phone calls!
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Corporal Punishment is something that needs to go away in any situation except in the home.
At one time, I ” swung the board” as a teacher. But my students were high school age and I only gave ‘ swats’ to boys.
That said, 25 years ago I stopped using the ” board.” It was a form of discipline that doesn’t work in a school setting.
You gave ‘ swats’ to the same kid(s),over and over and over….
And I was given ‘ swats’ in high school….I got three ‘ swats’ the day before I graduated from high school, and I can’t even remember what goofy thing I had done.
There were so many other things that worked instead of the ” board.”
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@ jeriwho:
I think it would be great to look into the money angle of this stuff. I would love to look at political donations and see the connection to the turning a bling eye to these homes.
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There is a web site that tracks the tax returns of charities. I forget what it’s called. Again, Susan Grotte or Gabriella Fluery can steer you correctly in terms of politicians who have publicly declared they will NOT investigate Hephzibah House. I have promised my doctor not to get too deep into these matters for a while yet, so I have to refer you to others.
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Here is a link to the actual financial info I gleaned:
http://jeriwho.net/lillypad2/?p=1531
Still looking for the site itself
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Here you are. This is the site I used: GuideStar:
http://www.guidestar.org/
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For the last reported Fiscal year (July 2013 – June 2014) Ron took in $320,945. The recession has not effected his earnings. He takes in roughly 1 million dollars every three years.
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I can’t help but continue to think about the parents of these children. How entrenched must a person be in a religious system to trust another person can properly raise their child(ren), especially through what they perceive as tumultuous times. Are these parents naive at the minimum? Naively blind? Or perhaps willfully blind? Encouraged by the system to send their child(ren) off? What do these parents gain by doing so? A quiet house at a minimum? Or something more? I’m truly trying to wrap my brain around this. As a parent of a six year old, I just cannot fathom sending my child anywhere else to be raised, regardless of the circumstances. These parents IMO are selling their children. They are gaining something by sending them off. I find it hard to believe every parent who has done this truly believes their child is better served in an environment like this. My heart aches for these survivors.
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Melissa wrote:
Many times they don’t care about their kids. Oh, they give lip service, but they don’t. I have seen so many, white middle class parents, their kids are just an afterthought. Kid giving me trouble? Hey, I’ll ship them to a church school. It is a church, how bad can it be?
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The emphasis on the girl’s “relationship with her Pastor [capital p, of course]” is beyond creepy.
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@ jeriwho:
You already know I think this is a great book. But I wanted to add my kudos to this story. Having been raised in Fundamentalism, I have to say to anyone interested that this book nails it! Thanks again for writing it.
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@ jeriwho:
If you don’t mind a few questions, if so just ignore. Is the money that comes in donations for running HH? Do parents of girls also pay a tuition to have their children at the institution?
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Or have they just slapped on another coat of paint?
ChEKA becomes OGPU becomes NKVD becomes KGB, but no matter the name or spin, the mass grave quotas in GULAG are still exceeded without interruption.
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Melissa wrote:
Not that the child is better served, but out of the way of My Voyage of Self-Esteem and Self-Discovery. Or child shows signs of being something other than Mini-Me. Babies are sooooo kyooote until their first tantrum.
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AmyT wrote:
Rank Hath It’s Privileges.
Including Sexual Privileges.
Roman Paterfamilii, Tom Jefferson (and other Antebellum planters), Douggie ESQUIRE, Bill Got Hard, Boopsie-Woopsie Hyles…
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@ NJ:
NJ wrote:
“So what if I rack him ’til he die? For I shall have Saved his Soul.”
— “The Inquisitor”, Mark Twain’s Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court
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A quite from the HH website –
“For more than 40 years, the ministry has been helping teenage girls receive a Christian education as well as being taught how to improve their relationships with parents and Pastors.”
Why is such importance placed on a relationship with a pastor? That is just creepy. It might be because two of the three staff members listed (all three staff members are men and pastors) went to Hyles-Anderson College, which has produced some twisted pastors.
Why are these men running a school for girls instead of a school for boys? Maybe girls don’t give them as much trouble and more easily submit than boys? What kind of sick power satisfaction does one gain from beating teenage girls? Must make these men feel really important. Disgusting.
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jeriwho wrote:
Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. ?
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Bridget wrote:
Ummm. I do think we may know one possible answer to that.
Bridget wrote:
Boys might fight back, certainly. But maybe some perverts just “like” girl victims better. But also, bad behavior is more tolerated out of boys under the idea that boys will be boys. Have you ever heard of an adolescent boy being sent off to reform school for the sole reason that he was sexually active?
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@ Bridget:
I was wondering the same things. It is very creepy.
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Deb wrote:
Good question. I vaguely remember a story some years back about a crooked judge who was sending wayward kids to ‘privately run reform schools’. Turns out, the schools were receiving public tax monies under the auspices of the judge, and he was taking kickbacks for as many kids as he could send to these places.
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Lydia wrote:
I would have agreed with you until I took a quick look around their site. From that it would appear that most of the day to day contact with the girls who attend it is female, and this gave me pause for thought.
That is not to say everything going on there is hunky-dory, I don’t belong to the constituency that runs the institution and don’t need to defend it, but it seems to me speaking from this side of the planet that this is a case of accusation verses couinter-accusation.
The founders would say everything is OK on their web site wouldn’t they; but then disgruntled former inmates with an axe to grind would likewise complain. I’m not saying I don’t believe them when they say things went on that shouldn’t, but the presence of religion in the issue complicates matters on both sides of this.
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@ Ken:
Did you listen to these –
http://www.jeriwho.net/tlohh.html
This gives some insight of what the girls were up against. It appears that parents didn’t realy know what was going on and there was no way for the girls to me them know. The male staff (pastors) did the spanking and the women staff held the girls down.
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Ken wrote:
Oh, Ken, bless your heart. I will skip any discussion and go straight to an example: The nuns who were in charge of and perpetrators of the Magdalen scandal (including with government money) if I remember correctly.
Meanwhile, if you were up to something creepy would you put it on your website?
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dee wrote:
Dee, I wish I had a sure fire solution. I have no idea who all Williams’ political contacts are in IN. It’s hard enough keeping up with all those in appointed and elected positions in La. who are STILL working to keep the horrible abuse at New Bethany covered up. (Have you noticed how very hard law enforcement is trying to steer the fact that a girl looking very much like Carol Ann Cole is in a picture that just recently, and totally against the theory of the Bossier Parish Sheriff’s Office, was found in Mack Ford’s house, and was likely taken in the Spring/Summer of 1980?)
http://www.nola.com/crime/index.ssf/2014/04/former_new_bethany_resident_no.html
Since 2008, and on camera in 2014, my plea has been that someone way smarter than me needs to figure out why this *bleep* keeps happening. But so far, there haven’t been any takers. This has been a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants-and-see-what-works endeavor since I’ve been involved in it. Raisin’ a big ‘ol collective stink seems to have been the only thing that’s gotten us anywhere.
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@ Bridget:
I don’t know how he schedules his income these days, but my guess is that he lists everything as a donation.
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Looks like we’ve opened up another can of worms. Lots of investigating to do. đ
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Ken wrote:
“They have left the straight way and wandered off to follow the way of Balaam son of Bezer, who loved the wages of wickedness.” 2 PETER 2:15
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I think at least SOME of these parents sending their children away were sent away themselves. I know of at least one inmate at an IFB children’s home who was a second-generation — a legacy, if you will.
When you reconcile the cognitive dissonance by accepting the “rightness” of your abuse. . . how else could you respond but to repeat it? (Grown ups are still responsible for their actions, but when a young lady has been re-educated, she becomes an adult Party member.)
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Ken wrote:
Disgruntled? Ax to grind? I dont get where you are coming from. If it is “Christian”, why not expect total transparency?
If it were Christian wouldn’t most of the former ” inmates” leave there feeling valued and loved? I bet there are many too scared to speak up even years later.
From the little I have read up on the IFB type world, to speak up as a woman is to lose everything and be ruined.
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lydia wrote:
Some people seem to think that God is like Santa Clause, a jolly old elf who brings nothing but good gifts to all the boys and girls all the time.
On the other hand some people in baptist fundamentalism seem to think that God is like Santa Clause, making a list and checking it twice, gonna see who’s naughty and nice. With the “feeling” that I get that mostly his list leans toward calling everybody naughty all the time even if he has to change the rules to do it.
There has been a spate of people writing stuff about “the other Jesus” one way or the other. I think that is part of what is going on. I also think that is part of what pushes some of the over-the-top ideas about the apocalypse. Don’t misunderstand, I am not saying that the jolly old elf theory covers all the bases, but I am saying that the fundys have gone way too far in the other direction–and some seem to take a certain satisfaction in doing so.
So if one is trying to live like and be like and please some god who apparently can’t be please and who inflicts woes on people at the drop of a hat, this way some of them treat their children fits right in with that picture.
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I was also reminded of Jane Eyre reading this post. One would expect such Dickensian horror stories to be a thing of the past. I hope such homes get shut down for good and the buildings destroyed. No one should have to live in places where such abuse occurred.
What struck close to home for me was from the CNN report where they discussed how Williams blamed girls for men whistling at them. I’ve been whistled at as a teenager and it was the furthest thing from my mind. What was I wearing? My school uniform, and no, it wasn’t too short. What was I doing? Walking home from school along the main road. No, Mr Williams, the culprits are the men who can choose to whistle or not whistle.
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@ Estelle:
Once upon a time en route to Africa for a missions stint I had a plane layover in London. So to pass the time I went walking. I had on an orange and red skirt and white blouse, nothing at all immodest, and going to be just right for Africa, but all the other pedestrians were dressed in gray. Light gray, medium gray, dark gray, combinations of gray-kind of dreary I thought but none of my business actually. In this setting I was mistaken for a prostitute and approached by some gray fellow, who informed me that he did not have time right then but would look me up next trip through. I was so surprised that it took me some time to even realize what had happened.
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Nancy wrote:
I believe that is called normalcy bias. The survivalists and prep people say this happens in crises and is something that people need to unlearn. But that is another topic for another time and place.
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jeriwho wrote:
Donation(TM) = TAX FREE?
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@ Nancy:
An unsettling experience, Nancy. But you were perfectly dressed for Africa.
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Good lord, have these people never read English literature? Everyone knows boarding houses never turn out anything good!!!
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It’s odd seeing the amount of money they made off of us. I really believed they didn’t have the money to feed us properly. We were told that all our food was donated. Which it was. I helped unload the truck. It wasn’t bad food that was donated. There was a variety of meats and vegetables. We rarely ate meat though, except for Sunday. We would get meat on Sundays, if you could recite the weeks scripture, if not you got nothing. Food was kind of a big deal. I was either starving,(one of the punishments) or I was being overfed to the point of gagging. I was so afraid all the time,of doing or saying the wrong thing. But there was no such thing as right and wrong, not really. It was a game they played. And then one day I just wasn’t afraid anymore. I was not anything. Everything sort of went numb, at which point my memory admittedly dulls. When I went home, my parents were alarmed by the drastic, weight loss and by my silence. My mother was worried, because I would not speak of it, not one word. I was very still and very quiet, too quiet. In a way, I was the way she had always wanted me to be. I was stuck like that for a bit. It was a struggle trying to make sense of the girl I had been, and the girl Hephzibah House had created. I developed social phobias, because I believed, as I had been conditioned to, that the only safe place in the world was Hephzibah House. That was over 20 years ago. It still catches me off my guard sometimes. Who am I? Am I still what they made me?
I am strong. I know who I am. But sometimes, in the dark, I don’t know… I still feel them with me and I hate it.
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@ Susan Grotte: In case anyone doesn’t know, Susan has a blog with many statements from the Survivors of Hephzibah House.
http://hephzibah-girls.blogspot.com/2009/04/my-name-is-susan-grotte.html
There has got to be a way to shut the evil home down.
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To answer the question “Has Hephzibah House mended its ways?” The answer is NO. They just modified their methods of crushing and destroying young ladies. So many went there claiming the name of Christ, and have left denying Christ.
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@ Susan Grotte:
Could you link to this?
Also, if I want to contact you for further info, can I email you at the address listed in your Blogger profile on the Hephzibah Girls blog?
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I am surprised the anti-patriocentrist blogosphere has not made this connection between Vision Forum, S. M. Davis and Hephzibah House yet, esp. since some of them have actually covered HH before. Seems like a valid and extremely disturbing connection to me.
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How did Doug Phillips ever hook up with S. M. Davis enough to sell his parenting lectures anyway?
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Ken wrote:
It doesn’t complicate anything for me. People can tell me from here to next Tuesday that they are Christians and would never abuse girls in their care but I am going to judge them by their behavior and not their words. As I have said before, well-run, effective programs are transparent. They welcome volunteers and inspections by state social workers, and they don’t listen into conversations. HH had things to hide and that makes me suspicious from the start.
I believe the former inmates. Sadists are attracted to ‘total institutions’ such as prisons, mental hospitals and nursing homes because they think that the residents’ testimonies can be discredited because they are offenders or mentally ill or suffer from dementia. We cannot let them get away with it. We must investigate. Oh wait, the political power wielded by the men associated with HH and similar places has made them immune to investigation.
I have evaluated a lot of programs for juvenile and adult offenders. Not once has any staffer ever listened into my conversations with the inmates I was talking to. Not once was I forbidden to speak to anyone I wanted to speak to.
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Marsha wrote:
Precisely.
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Marsha wrote:
Two words: NURSE RATCHED.
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Amy wrote:
“He who was born in a cage
Yearns for his cage.
In horror I understand
That I Love My Cage.”
— Yevgevny Yevtushenko, Soviet-era Russian poet
“HE LOVED BIG BROTHER.”
— George Orwell, last four words of 1984
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They use biblical counseling to, last I knew.
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Here’s the latest post on 9 Marks
https://wonderingeagle.wordpress.com/2015/03/25/9-marks-what-is-it-how-mark-dever-undermined-it-and-made-it-worthless/
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@ Eagle:
Yes, do as I say, not as I do is Mark Dever’s mantra.
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@ Amy:
The psychological abuse is the sickest. I am so sorry. It must be exposed.
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@ Deb:
Yes his teaching on a healthy church was exposed as a sham when he received with open arms CJ Mahaney fleeing CLC/SGM.
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@ Marsha:
Marsha, big round of applause for you. We need more of this to root out these cess pits apparently ‘healing’ vulnerable girls.
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Melissa wrote:
Some of these people are, don’t forget, part of a system that has them breeding like rabbits…..including when they didn’t want children in the 1st place. I suspect that there is quite a number of them who send them off just because they can’t stand them around any more. đ
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Susan Grotte wrote:
For Quiverfull breeding stock, all that is necessary is ovulation and a functioning womb. Anything more is not only superfluous, but dangerous.
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John Weaver wrote:
I prefer to write it biblical⢠counseling.
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Ken wrote:
Here is the problem with what your comment. Statistics indicate that most complaints of abuse are real. Look around at stats. The true accounts are well over 90%.
The reason that some complaints take years to surface is due to the very real damage of the psyche of those who have been harmed. In many instances if takes decades to report the abuse.
Here is one example that I witnessed.
I grew up down the street from a Catholic church which had a K-8 school that many of my friends attended. The priests were so accommodating, allowing us to race go karts in their huge parking lot. They would offer us drinks of water and would sometimes cheer us on. As a child I really liked them.
Our closest friends on the street were two sister and a cousin (I will call him Joe) who lived in the same household and attended that school and also reached go karts with us.
About 12 years ago, my mother sent me a picture of one of the sisters sitting with one of the priests and her graduation 8th grade class. That priest, who was one of the friendliest with us, was discovered not only to have AIDS but also to have molested a fair number of boys at the school. He died in jail.
I called the sister about the picture and she called Joe. Joe started to cry on the phone-he was in his 40s. Joe confessed, for the first time, that he had been molested by this monster and had held it inside for all of these years. Joe is a high level executive with an international bank and is a brilliant man but he has carried this pain for years.He is now receiving long over due help.
This is a common occurrence. Is there an ax to grind? You betcha!!! This monster ruined his childhood along with many others. It is time for all of us to take accusations of abuse serious, no matter how long it takes for them to surface. And i will err on the side of believing the victims because the numbers are on my side, not on the side of “they are lying.”
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Ken wrote:
You may find this site interesting. It discusses your observation about disgruntled former residents (inmates). http://www.renewamerica.com/columns/dunkin/120104
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dee wrote:
Excellent article on denial of trauma until the psyche is able to cope with the reality.
http://www.soulselfhelp.on.ca/saden.html
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@ Joe2:
Did you think the letters written by the alleged former residents sound a bit staged-using language that is a bit outdated?
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dee wrote:
Given the subculture of the “alleged former residents”, probably not. The type who would commit their kids to HH would probably be very behind-the-times to start with, and HH’s Room 101 treatment would take care of the rest. So I would expect some archaic language and style. (Dee — are you talking about Victorian language, Mythic 1950s, or Kynge Jaymes Englyshe?)
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And it’s obvious @Joe2 is either an HH fanboy or a spokeshole defender. (Remember Xianatty and the others who popped up out of nowhere when ToJo was being blasphemed?) A spokeshole does it because it’s his job, but the subject of a fanboy’s adoration Can Do No Wrong.
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@ Melissa:
40 years ago I had an uncontrollable adolescent sister that my parents couldn’t keep in school or keep away from trouble. They tried everything available. If there had been a place like this in our area, they might have jumped at the chance because of the fear they had of what might have happened to my sister in terms of drugs, being murdered (she often ran away), getting pregnant, etc. They were relieved when she got married as soon as she turned 18. Not the best solution, but at least they didn’t feel responsible anymore. My sister didn’t really get herself straightened until she was in her 40s, but by then we had all let go.
Desperate people will go to desperate means without understanding what they are signing up for. Add sparkling, positive testimonies of kids’ lives set right, the “God” factor, and no fees, it’s hard to resist. That’s why local regulatory agencies need to shut these places down!
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Marsha wrote:
The complicating factor of religion in these cases is two-fold.
i) It is easy – and not altogether unreasonable – to assume when a minister is accused of abuse that because of his faith he ought not to be guilty of such immorality or crime. Nevertheless, each case has to be judged on its merits.
ii) It is also true that with so much public exposure of what has been going on behind closed religious doors and the covering up of abuse, those with an axe to grind against religion, and plenty of people do, will use this as a convenient way to hit back. I’d be pretty certain that more recent claims against catholic clergy could fit in this category. All the more so if the allegation is now very old and difficult to prove or disprove. The mud will still stick though.
What I didn’t say was that I am inclinded to automatically disbelieve allegations of abuse. The first rule even of nouthetic counselling is to take seriously what people say to you (and it’s a good rule). But it’s very easy to get drawn along in assuming wrong-doing has been happening merely because the accusation is set in a religious institution (Catholic, Fundamentalist), or the denomination in which it is set of itself adds credibility to any one set of allegations.
I have in mind a Baptist pastor known to me who was sent down at 80 years of age for abusing his own children. Now he may or may not have actually been guilty of this, God alone knows, but at the time I fear the jury at his trial may have been prejudiced against him simply because he was a minister. It was at the height of the Catholic scandals in Europe.
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@ Victorious:
Thank you! this is a most misunderstood area concerning abuse, isn’t it.
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Ken wrote:
Instead of alleging this, could you please provide statistics to back up your claim.
Ken wrote:
That makes me very sad because you will be wrong most of the time.
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Headless Unicorn Guy wrote:
IFB code terms.
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Ken wrote:
In response to which dee wrote:
That’s not how I read Ken’s statement. I don’t think he meant I omitted to mention the fact that I am inclined to automatically disbelieve allegations of abuse. To me, it read as I was not saying that I am inclined to automatically disbelieve allegations of abuse, and indeed I am not so inclined.
If I read Ken aright, then I’m actually with him on this. On hearing allegations of abuse, I am inclined to automatically want the facts investigated impartially, and then acted upon. If that means that abuse is proven, and the abuser(s) identified, convicted and sentenced, 98% of the time, then 98% is the figure.
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Ken wrote:
I hope there was no injustice. I really do. But there is another problem here: If ministers would actually speak OUT against the abuses of power in their own ranks/tribes/traditions, some people might not turn automatically suspicious. But they often don’t. They often bring this on themselves. In fact, they tend to circle the wagons and do all they can to make people feel shame for even suggesting such things. And they teach their parishioners to do the exact same thing to victims who dare come forward. Do you have any idea how many SBC pastors who were praising Mark Driscoll all over blogs are now pretending like he never existed? They don’t even speak about their own part in promoting him all those years. They are embarrassed and pretend it all never happened. Or they insist his doctrine was correct and that is all they agreed with.
Same with CJ Mahaney, etc, etc. That is what they do. They pretend it did not happen or worse, they demand instant forgiveness for the abuser because ‘we are all sinners’. Oh and you cannot talk about it. Once again, silencing. That is the norm. There are too many instances of this all over the place not to see it anymore. The playbook is always similar.
You wrote:
” It is also true that with so much public exposure of what has been going on behind closed religious doors and the covering up of abuse, those with an axe to grind against religion, and plenty of people do, will use this as a convenient way to hit back. Iâd be pretty certain that more recent claims against catholic clergy could fit in this category. All the more so if the allegation is now very old and difficult to prove or disprove. The mud will still stick though.”
First of all there should be NO “behind closed doors” in the Body of Christ. That is part of the bigger problem. There was a commenter on another thread who tried to convince us the rightness of handling church discipline issues among elders in private so there is no “food fight” in public. There was no “behind closed doors” in 1 Corin 5. The letter was written to the entire Body. And we are reading it 2000 years later. It was not advised to deal with the problem in private by a few elders.
So, that focus on secrecy and authority is a big part of the problem. It gives carte blanche to handle everything like that. How many times did I hear leaders tell folks, “oh you don’t have ALL the facts so cannot make a judgment” when I knew they were furiously doing damage control? So they turned their questions into a sin!
There might be some who use it to “hit back”. But so what? I saw that attitude communicated concerning RHE and the Tony Jones scandal. It was thought that people who did not like her before so now they are piling on by bringing up her cruel public responses to Julie and support of Tony. I heard this all the time in seeker evangelical circles and people buy into it because they like the person being analyzed or accused of whatever. Truth is, we have to take all that out of the equation. That is just another deflection.
one of the problems ministers have is the lack of accountability for so many hours per week. I saw this problem from blogging over the past 10 years. the Neo Cals really took it up. They have time to do it quite a bit during the day! Many of them see it as part of their “ministry” which has nothing to do with their actual congregation if you are paying attention.
They tend to be somewhat isolated and insulated depending on the venue. Mega’s are the worst. In small churches can be, too, to some extent. They have instant authority/gravitas to varying degrees which can cover over quite a bit for a long time. It really is a strange “vocation” when you think about it as a vocation. (And I am one who has started to wonder why it is a vocation. I can understand missionary but not so much institutional pastor –anymore. I understand pastor as a verb but not an office. But I am weird, too, I know)
So people say, oh you just don’t like pastors. Actually, I do question pastoring as a noun and institution. That might seem silly since it is ingrained and is not going away but I have come to the conclusion it is the best place to start. (One of my favorite pastor friends took a 3month sabbatical paid for by the church. NO ONE else in that church could ever afford a 3month sabbatical from “work” unless they were very sick but they sent him on one. I pointed that out to him over lunch one day. Guess what, this great guy had never even thought of it like that. For him it was a nice perk after 7 years there. This is the entitlement mentality that can set in with those vocations. No real sense of the reality of the workplace which most people labor within. The question is why the members see it that way?
So yes, I do think people are starting to question more due to the internet. But more often people tend to believe their pastor because he is their pastor. They tend to live in the “bubble of disbelief”that David Hayward wrote about.
I am not sure there is any more cruel response to a victim than “they have an ax to grind”. yes, they d, and it could be something that has ground them down for many years.
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Ken wrote:
So are you saying that the things going on behind closed doors should remain behind closed doors? You do not seem to have said that the stuff going on behind closed doors never happened. That sounds like what got the catholic church into so much trouble. Hush it up and cover it up so an not to embarrass the church?
I have a different idea. Quit shutting the door in the first place. LIke the IFB people who refused to let the state authorities inspect the homes. If there is nothing to hide, why hide? Deeds done in the light do not need to be hidden.
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I went to that Renewal of America site and read the defense of HH. Sad. One of the defending commentators seems obsessed with defending abusers of all kinds. He also disbelieves the missionary children who were abused in boarding schools at New Tribes and he supports George Zimmerman. Any other view means that you hate God. Here is a sample comment on his website. (Sic) “Please prey for NTM some people are sueting them for sensual abuse of MKs I believe this is the work of Santan.” The man can’t write, drives a truck (a good job but not one in which one becomes wealthy), and he sides with the powerful. Wow. I will never understand that attitude and especially not when held by Christians. Jesus certainly didn’t come to suck up to those in power.
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It is appalling to me that these places are still allowed to operate! Abuse aside, the sheer setup provides a perfect cover *for* abuse to happen – independently run, minimal oversight, rural, etc. I hope it gets shut down as soon as possible. It blows my mind that boarding schools for “wayward” children continue to operate. I guess the good news is that the advent of the Internet has allowed these abuses to be brought into the light and for survivors to find and support each other.
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A difficult issue in all this is the role of ‘the authorities’ in determining what is and what is not abuse, and who is or is not telling the truth. I just checked the law in our state, and the descriptors are very broad and deliberately so in order to not miss any kind of abuse. However, not everything is going to go to SS or much less court. For example, the famous ‘beat down.’ This happens when a child or adolescent has done something which severely displeases the parent (the mother every time I have seen it) and that thing that the child has done may range from just aggravating to probably criminal to skips school. At which point the parent slings a loud verbal fit accompanied by much beating and whapping on the child. The child is seemingly terrorized by this assault, and his behavior changes dramatically–until the next time (sometimes.) This may happen in a hospital waiting room, or when called to the school house, or even in a grocery store. I don’t know where else, those are the only places that I can vouch for. It is scary to watch to say the least, but then I don’t particularly favor getting physical with kids.
In my book that would be considered abusive. If somebody as an adult claimed that this had happened to them as a child and they had current symptoms due to it, I would consider that a legitimate claim of abuse. Lots of people in this culture would not consider that to be abuse. If I saw it tomorrow in public I would have to decide whether to report it to SS or not, since it is against the law to fail to report abuse, but then the question is whether this is abuse. The law does not spell that out. Or does it only get classified as abuse if and when some adult has some residuals from being ‘beat down’ by his mother. And if nobody called SS when the child was a child and it was happening, does that mean that when he grows up and alleges abuse he must be lying?
And how could anybody ever ‘prove’ anything at all? Again I say: it is complicated.
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dee wrote:
Of Buzzword Bingo density?
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@ Marsha:
“Here is a sample comment on his website. (Sic) âPlease prey for NTM some people are sueting them for sensual abuse of MKs I believe this is the work of Santan.â
+++++++++++++++++
hey, a trinity of antagonists who spawn: Stan, Santa, and now Santan.
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New rule:
Anyone who uses a proxy server will automatically be moderated.
Proxy servers go to all lengths to conceal IP, etc. We have found that many people who use these can tend to be quite negative, etc. We are not accusing those who use these of doing anything wrong. We are doing this to protect ourselves.
This does not mean that you won’t be approved. It merely means we moderate all comments from those we discover to be using proxy servers. We will note under comments if we do not approve a comment as we usually do.
Thank you for being understanding.
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dee wrote:
I’ve already gotten an email asking what this is so ….
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=proxy+server&l=1
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@ GuyBehindtheCurtain:
Too funny!
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@ Jeannette Altes:
I went to this school in the last 6 years. It is still very much open, and there was a definite change in how the it was run the summer that the ladies came to protest. Almost all of their oppressive rules were dropped or modified, and compared to how it was when I first arrived, it was almost a cake walk. HOWEVER, I have much to say about what has happened in the past, and for what we were taught and not taught. My name is Mary Kumar, and I am doing all I can with the help of my sister survivors to let others know about the heartache and trauma that HH has committed with no accountability to ANYONE.
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@ mary:
I always wondered if you guys knew we were there. There was this moment when we were standing right across the street from the compound. So so close, but still so helpless. I wanted so badly to storm in there and get you all out. Knowing that our presence eased the hellish conditions you were existing in means so much. I wish our voices had been strong enough to slam those doors shut forever. Maybe someday.
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I was there in the early 90’s. Around this time our sisters who had been there in the 80’s were speaking out and protesting on my behalf. And the horrific conditions eased. The beatings, while still brutal enough to break the skin, were not given out as often. They relied more on humiliation, starvation and isolation instead of on the beatings. So physically things got better, but mentally… The mental impact was devastating.
I cannot help but wonder where we would be today, had our sisters not taken a stand on our behalf yesterday? And now a new generation is taking up the fight with and for us. It makes me so proud, and at the same time it breaks my heart.
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@ mary:
and @ Amy:
I am so sorry that had to endure that evil that is HH. I first heard about it when Danni Moss wrote about it in 2008 & 2009. (https://dannimoss.wordpress.com/?s=hephzibah)
There is no excuse for the way they treated you. None. Their teachings are about as far from Jesus as you can get.
Know that I believe you and I care.
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Nick Bulbeck wrote:
You’re spot on, that’s what I meant, but as usual I expect I could have worded it better.
I found myself automatically assuming that this was yet another case of Fundamentalists running a ‘home’ only to succumb to temptation and indulge in ministerial abuse. But because some ministers are guilty of this doesn’t mean they all are, and of course until something is proven both in the UK and US the assumption of innocence applies as far as the law is concerned.
In the post Deb wrote In the aftermath of publishing her book, Jeri Massi interviewed former residents of the girls’ home and put together The Lambs of Hephzibah House â an audio documentary that alleges severe abuse of residents at Hephzibah House. I think using the word alleges is right, because until proven it would be unwise to say otherwise. Frankly I wouldn’t be at all surprised to find such allegations of abuse are true once investigated as there is multiple attestation to it, but at the risk of repetition, it is wrong to assume this.
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Why is it wrong to assume that the stories of abuse are true? We are not a court of law. We are not a jury nor are most of us living in a state where criminal or civil charges could be made.
Outside the legal system, we make judgments about guilt all the time. For example, rape kits are being tested every day that indicate the identities of rapists who can no longer be prosecuted as a result of statutes of limitation. Often the perpetrator is in prison for subsequent crimes. No one should be sent to prison without a trial but I can still make the decision to avoid them.
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My cell phone refreshed and posted for me!
Given the testimony of so many people, including a volunteer, Williams’ own writings about severe corporal punishment starting with babies, and the lengths he went to maintain secrecy and isolation, I believe the victims. I do not need to wait for a court finding which may never come because of statutes of limitations and political connections.
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Nancy wrote:
Quite the reverse. This is a classic case where Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is a shame even to speak of the things that they do in secret; but when anything is exposed by the light it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light needs to be applied.
At least as much damage has been done to the church’s witness by covering such things up as by the fact they have happened in the first place. Even atheists and agnostics know that you cannot hold the church responsible for what individuals do in defiance of the very faith they profess to be following. Every group has those within it who will let the rest down.
Imagine a conversation overheard in the pub where someone says ‘First Baptist has had another child abuser in its midst’, to be followed by the comment ‘yes, but like last time he was taken down to the police station before his feet could touch the ground the moment they found out about it’. The real damage imo is done if the reply were instead ‘ it took law enforcement two years to break through a conspiracy of silence and cover ups before this came to light’. Where this has been the case, the church concerned has made itself party to another man’s sins, and has earned the criticism it is bound to get.
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@ Ken:
One can still believe what the women say and support them while at the same time using the word alleged when writing about the stories. Actually, until proven, Deebs have to use that term to avoid litigation themselves.
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@ Marsha:
Definitely!
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Marsha wrote:
Because they might not be. The probability they are true may be quite high, but there is always the danger of impuning the character of someone who actually is innocent, or of encouraging those with an agenda of their own to misuse allegations of abuse for their own ends.
If someone comes to a church who claims they have been abused, I would think you should assume this is true in trying to help them come to terms with this, in trying to help them, until and unless it becomes clear their claims are not true.
But in a public forum, as Bridget rightly says, making such assumptions could have unwelcome legal complications.
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Amy wrote:
I wonder if Hepzibah House has the nerve to call this an “improvement”…
I’m so sorry that you and so many other girls were forced into this, Amy. No one should have to bear torture, but especially not kids.
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GuyBehindtheCurtain wrote:
I’ve gotten email asking what this means. Short version is that a proxy server CAN be used to hide where your computer is really located on the Internet. Past that it is a longer discussion.
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Ken, if your coworker arrives at work and tells you that he has been robbed of his wallet and watch at gunpoint, do you say “Maybe. I will believe it when someone is convicted in court?” I know you wouldn’t because this man would be a real person to you. Well, these women are real people too and they are posting here.
Have you ever been in a situation where people openly say that they don’t know whether you are a liar or not? I haven’t and I would hate it.
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Serving Kids In Japan wrote:
They would not view it as an improvement. They believe in what they do. There are too many sermons on tape, essays written that detail every abusive claim an HH survivor has ever made. In a different world, in a better world I should never have had to say a word about what was done to me. In a world ruled by reason, instead of fantasy,the PUBLISHED words of Ron Williams would be enough to condemn him.
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@ Ken:
That is how I see it.
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JadeEJF wrote:
Amen to that! (All of it!)
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Marsha wrote:
I think there has been some talking at cross-purposes here. I’m not saying we should disbelieve people or that this is my default position.
When I first saw this post, and it was outright Fundamentalists again, my initial reaction was to assume they were more than likely to be guilty. But just because others in this constituency have been found guilty doesn’t mean any one claimed instance of abuse is true, this is guiit by association, to be more blunt about it, prejudice.
I’m sure you would agree this latter can cloud people’s judgement. All Catholics, egalitarains, comps, feminists, men, charismatics etc etc are _________ .
I’m not sure I have ever had anyone maintaining I am lying, but I have experienced my motives being assumed to be the worst, and it isn’t very pleasant, especially when those doing so will talk about this with everyone but the person they are criticising. A rather British trait, I’m afraid.
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Ken wrote:
Ummm, not really. Happens quite a bit on this side of the pond as far as I have experienced.
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Dee and Deb. Thanks for the effort and great work you do on this website. It really is a tremendous help to more people than you know.
I just wanted to comment that I too would be interested to see what an inquiry of the local political wreath would turn up. If this guy Williams was “in” or trying to be in with the local bigwigs, that would be part of an interesting pattern. I think I read that Julie McMahon’s ex was a police chaplain. (I’m not implying Williams was a police chaplain in particular, I don’t know that). You may already know this, but Pastor James MacDonald of Harvest Bible Chapel also signed up to be a police chaplain. (Because he had time for that while galivanting all over the country, not being in the church seemingly most of every summer and running his stupid radio show on top of everything else).
I’m also noticing this in a secular situation with an employer that I believe has a Personality Disorder and making sure he’s got all of the local authorities neutralized by networking with and becoming one of them.
I don’t know that there’s a lot of good advice out there for quickly identifying people who are not good individuals, but for me, a person with a little TOO much interest in making kissy face with or becoming one of the local “Bigs” is becoming quite the red flag for me.
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The Anony Mouse wrote:
Don’t forget Bob Grenier of Calvary Chapel Visalia — he also became a police chaplain for an inside track on the Code of Blue.
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Bridget wrote:
Another thing in common with Scientology. Two things, actually: The RPF/Hole at Flag Base (internal prison system with lotsa abuse) and rabid attack lawyers who always need to be taken into account.
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I was at HH around 25 years ago. I am so glad to see that some of my fellow survivors have been actively pursuing justice for the abuse that we endured there. I am 41 years old and still the memories are hard to deal with when they surface- the utter domination, the emotional manipulation, the vulnerability and helplessness of being a “student” there. And speaking of students, I remember that when a student left, we couldn’t say her name, weren’t even supposed to talk about her, although occasionally someone would be brave and bring up a memory. We could only call them “past students”. So, hey, I’m a past student and my name is SARAH!!!