Assumptions are the termites of relationships. -Henry Winkler
I need our readers help. I have about 4 "over the top" statements by the usual Calvinista leaders. These involve how they view Arminians. I want to do a post in which I slap both Arminians and Calvinists upside the head for arrogance. However, I cannot seem to find any statements by any well-known Arminian leader that are derogatory towards the Calvinists. Perhaps some of our Reformed readers (or anyone for that matter) could help us find about 4- 5 quotes that imply that the Calvinist is "not up to snuff" for what they believe. I would prefer quotes from current leaders but, if none are forthcoming, I will consider some from history.
How does the unity of the Christian body line up with the post-Reformation, fractured denominations that we see today? It seems that we split over all sorts of things: baptism, governance, creationism,spiritual gifts, communion, music style and on and on. It is evident that such divisions are on the rise as we become pickier and pickier. Did you know that "biblical" dating now means that one should only date those of the Reformed persuasion?
When I met my husband, he was involved in a heavily charismatic Christian fellowship. He became a Christian in that setting as well. Although I am supportive of those who are charismatic, I find myself more comfortable in non-charismatic settings. It is not a theology thing for me. Over time, my husband and I were able to find churches which did not practice the charismatic giftings in the service but had smaller groups that expressed those gifts outside of the weekly service setting.
The two of us have grown, and changed, in how we express our faith and have branched out from our initial beliefs. For example, neither one us adheres to premillenial eschatology although we both did when we married.
I challenge our readers to think back to their beliefs when they were in their 20s. How many of you have changed in areas surrounding theology, especially in secondary issues?
Because I hold an MBA, I often look at Christian ventures from the money angle. It appears that the people behind a new website think there is money to be had in finding mates for Calvinist singles. And they are betting that it isn't just chump change.
This past week, on Jonathan Merritt's blog, he addressed this issue in the post Are Christian dating websites undermining “Christian values?” here.
As of 2011, ChristianMingle had garnered more than 5 million users, and generated $22.9 million in revenue during the first nine months of 2012. It is now deemed the fastest growing online community for this Christians. But it is only one of many online dating sites for the mate-less faithful. Others include Loveandseek.com, ChristianCafe.com, and EquallyYoked.com. Together, they form a pool of eligible Christian singles that is rapidly growing in number.
Their tagline is “Prepared, Prequalified, Predestined,” adding to the plethora of clichés that make the site a near-parody of itself. For example, users’ identities must be verified by their (presumably male) pastor, who confirms that they are a church member in “good and regular standing” and “eligible for marriage.” Articles include tips on virginity, courtship, and how men must establish “loving headship” over their wives. In a twist of irony, ReformedSingles seeks to assemble a crowd of people who minimize humans’ ability to choose and then inundate them with choices.
I think they should add the following. "You get one name that you can't refuse. God is in charge of the molecules in the computer and it is a sovereign assignment."
I went over to the Reformed Singles site link. It appears that "biblical" courtship is all the rage. I had no idea that "Reformed" singles also wanted to do the courtship thing. Perhaps our Reformed readers could let us know if that is true?
Looking for a potential marriage partner? Tired of meeting people online who don't share your beliefs, never heard of biblical courtship, or aren't really serious about marriage? You've found the right place: ReformedSingles.com.
Here is a site endorsement from a pastor who says "sound" (read Calvinist) doctrine is essential for dating and, in the long run, the "kingdom."
"As an exceedingly-blessed husband for more than 30 years and a pastor for 25, I'd insist that you cannot over estimate the importance of sound doctrine to a solid relationship. If this site helps to forge such relationships, it will be of tremendous value to the kingdom." Pastor xxxxx xxxxxxx
Deb asked me this question. "So, If a Calvinist marries an Arminian are they unequally yoked? " Sure sounds that way.
Loathe as I am to make a buck on the backs of our readers, I have a tantalizing idea. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Just as Patheos is the clearing house for all sorts of belief and nonbelief blogs, TWW shall attempt to become the clearinghouse for the "religious" dating sites. I can see it now..
- Arminian Singles: "Don't say no, say yes! You can, you know."
- YEC Singles: "I'm much younger than I appear to be. Remember, you weren't there when I was born." Amended 3/26: Garland said: "The problem with YEC singles is that they don’t really believe that any methods of dating are reliable…"
- Unitarian Singles: "Let's protest global warming and then, whatever…."
- Egalitarian Singles: "She will call you."
- Independent Fundamentalist Baptist Singles: "Quivering, full of anticipation of our meeting."
- Sovereign Grace Ministries Singles: "He will humbly point out your sins after he gets your dad's permission."
- Hindu Singles: "Don't worry, you can try it again on the next go round."
- Mars Hill Singles(Mark Driscoll): "You will say yes or he will go Old Testament on you."
- Brookhills Singles(David Platt): "Nothing says love more than giving your date money to cure world hunger."
- Lakewood Singles (Joel Osteen): "Doctrine? Just believe that God loves both of you as well as the whole wide world."
Fellowship Church Singles (Ed Young Jr) "Ed's business associates will certify that you are a member in good standing who has given your full, gross tithe to
Ed and Lisathe Lord."
The person we are when we are dating is most probably not be the person we will be in the future. On this blog, we have received hundreds of emails from people who have left all sorts of faith traditions and turned to new ones. Calvinists have become Arminians and Arminians have become Calvinists. Egalitarians have become complementarians and vice versa.
I think it is wise to evaluate your potential mate from the perspective of change. I do not mean that you can make that potential spouse change because that rarely, if ever, works. However, he or she will likely change on their own. And so will you.
May we try to find ways to love and live with one another as we walk through the challenges of this life which will change us and cause us to grow in directions that we could never imagine. We are members of one Body and it is amazing how God can work through our differences to make us into a loving and caring community.
3/26 amended: Thanks to Steve 240 who alerted me to this trailer. I find it very sad that this girl s crying because she kissed someone that she isn't going to marry.
Lydia's Corner: Judges 8:18-9:21 Luke 23:44-24:12 Psalm 99:1-9 Proverbs 14:9-10