“Silence becomes cowardice when occasion demands speaking out the whole truth and acting accordingly.” ― Mahatma Gandhi.

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Today is a post written by Melissa Hobson’s husband. Here is the post I wrote in October 2024. {UPDATED 10.21.24} Melissa Was 12 and Molested for 6 Years by Pastor Martin MacDonald. She Was Told She Seduced Him and Her Family Was Told by Pastors to Forgive Him.

Harlan speaks from the heart as he describes the pain he has felt while dealing with members of the clergy network in upstate New York who interacted and even supported Melissa when she first came forward. Unfortunately, that support has ended, and some have even denied that her abuse took place. Their denial and/or silence about what happened only compounds the pain she has borne from the initial abuse. In my opinion, their silence and/or denial have contributed to her abuse,

Harlan beautifully expresses his love, support, and respect for Melissa. He speaks bold and prophetic words to those in Batavia and surrounding communities who have backed away and even appear to have denied their former care of Melissa after she came forward about her abuse. Why? Do apostolic leaders deny the truth when they believe they must protect the ministry in upstate New York? If so, they have rejected the very One, Jesus, whom they claim to represent. Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. When truth is denied or hidden, the Gospel message is buried. This is the season of Lent when we should be examining our lives as we approach Good Friday, when Jesus paid the price for our sins. Our sin cost Him His very life. Does that Cross mean so little to us?

I understand that Harlan has sent this letter to the names mentioned in the title. Listen to what he said.

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An Open Letter to Ron Domina, Tommy Reid, Lou Perez, and the Elders of City Church in Batavia, NY: 

I come to you today not out of anger toward God or the Church, nor from a place of deconstruction, unforgiveness, or seeking revenge. Instead, I write as someone who deeply loves God, actively engages in a church, and strives daily to live out His truth, pursuing His love, grace, mercy, and justice as shown in Scripture. Yet, my heart is broken and grieved.

I love my wife deeply. I’ve watched her endure the weight of abuse for decades without justice. She is stronger than anyone I know—passionate in her love for God and fierce in her forgiveness. It’s out of her love for the Church, for other victims of clergy abuse, and for her belief that the Church should be a safe place for all, that she has shared her story.

Several of you were men I deeply respected during our time in Western NY, which makes my heart break even more. What grieves me is your response—or lack of it—as leaders and elders. You appear to be more focused on protecting personal and organizational reputations than seeking the truth. The system is broken, which is why I am writing this letter.

My wife, Melissa, has publicly told her story, and it can be easily found at The Wartburg Watch if you need to review it. I do not feel the need to restate her story of sexual abuse in this letter. But, before I say what I want, I would like to review a few details about the aftermath of Melissa telling her story the first time.

Melissa’s story has never changed since she first told me, her parents, and then told it to Al and Deb Warner. Al and Deb helped Melissa to begin her journey of healing, and our journey of dealing with the sexual abuse that Melissa experienced from the age of 12 to 18 years old.

At Al and Deb’s direction and encouragement, we went to Pastor Ron Domina (because he had some leadership relationship with Marty) to let him know about what Marty did to Melissa, for all those years. After meeting with Ron, he asked Melissa if she was comfortable with him confronting Marty. She agreed. Ron later told us that Marty confessed and repented. He said the next step would be an in-person meeting where Marty could apologize to Melissa, which now feels absurd.

After this meeting, we were told that Marty MacDonald had confessed, but that he had confessed to an affair. An affair occurs between two consenting adults. According to the law, Melissa could not give consent because she was an underage preadolescent. (Please remember that he groomed and molested my wife, Melissa, who was a child at the time from age 12 to 18 years old.)  That is why this wasn’t very clear to us. An affair by a Church leader would be wrong and considered CSM – Clergy Sexual Misconduct or ACSA – Adult Clergy Sexual Abuse and is a crime now in 15 states and is likely to become the law throughout the United States. It was not an “affair.”

After learning of Marty’s confession, we saw Marty and his wife, Patti, walking in downtown Batavia, NY, at an event called “Christmas in the City.” I confronted him and asked him when he was going to make things right and admit that he molested my wife when she was an underage girl (12-18 years old). In what appeared to be a flustered manner, he blurted out, “That’s not what happened!” Then, I saw a police officer walking toward us. I challenged Marty, “I know you confessed to an affair. Well, let’s ask this police officer if what you did to my wife was an affair.” Patti, his wife, grabbed him by the arm, and they ran off.

Right after this incident, Marty’s son Ryan Macdonald, the current Pastor of City Church, chased us down in the mall and ran up to me and yelled threats at me to leave his father alone or else. Melissa had to calm Ryan down and reminded him that he was a baby at the time and had no knowledge of the truth of the matter. Melissa was babysitting Marty and Patti’s children at the time this sexual abuse began. As we talked to him, he told my wife Melissa that she had seduced his father, and this was her fault. Ryan appeared to be confused about the inability of a 12-year-old child to consent to sexual activity.

After these encounters, Marty did not want to meet with us anymore. But he and his wife, Patti, did send a nice card saying, “If Patti or I have ever done anything to offend you, please forgive us.” Nothing addresses sexual abuse like a Hallmark card.

When Melissa first shared her story, we sought to do the right thing by turning to trusted people like Al and Deb Warner and coming to you, Ron Domina. Marty and his supporters tried to silence, shame, and blame Melissa despite our efforts. There is much I could say about the journey my wife, Melissa, has been on since, but only she can fully speak to the trauma she experienced in sharing her story.

After Melissa decided to share her story publicly again, you criticized how it was done. But what did you expect her to do? All she did was tell her truth in the Wartburg Watch and then agreed to be interviewed by The Batavian. Now that her story is out there, she’s being heard and will continue to speak up. As I’ve said, she initially tried to address this behind closed doors, following what others believed was the right and biblical approach. This is why I think the church system, including its oversight and accountability, is broken. The system isn’t designed to encourage victims to come forward or to protect and respect them. The church should be a safe place for all, but clearly, it is not.

That said, here are some of my thoughts and observations on my wife, Melissa’s, coming forward and your responses—or lack thereof.

The Variation in Responses

It’s striking that Melissa’s story has never changed. I’ve heard it for years, and it’s always the same. Yet, the responses from Marty and his supporters have been inconsistent, especially between the first and this most recent time she shared her story. To highlight these variations, here are a few responses from his camp and supporters:

• Marty confessed.
• Marty repented.
• Melissa seduced Marty.
• Melissa was sixteen (It began when she was 12) and knew what she was doing.
• Why can’t Melissa just forgive Marty for this “Offense” and let it go?
• Marty confessed to an “affair.”  (Is he saying he had an affair with someone else, since he could not have an “affair” with Melissa due to her being below the age of consent? That brings up a lot more questions.)
• AND NOW, AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, THE RESPONSE CHANGES TO: OH WAIT… MARTY DID NOT DO ANYTHING! (Then what did he confess to? What did he repent of? How was it that Melissa was accused as a child of seducing Marty? What was Melissa being asked to forgive?)
•  Once again, Melissa is asked to forgive and let it go.
• She is being told that Matthew 18:15-17 should now be used as a guideline to handle this offense. (Sexual abuse is not an offense; it is a crime.)
• Melissa, truthfully telling her story as a victim, is being called evil, and she is being accused of operating in the spirit of accusation, and an “Accuser of the brethren”.

How do you defend Marty and his supporters’ (including yourselves) varied responses compared to my wife Melissa’s total consistency, whose story has never changed?

Some of the responses from Anjan Ganguly, Marty’s lawyer, in The Batavian were interesting, especially considering all the different responses we have heard over the years. The Batavian asked, “Did MacDonald know Hobson?” Mr. Ganguly replied, “Yes, they were familiar with one another through the ministry at New Hope.”

One of the definitions of the word “familiar” is: unduly intimate; too personal; taking liberties.
Or did he mean the definition of commonly or generally known?

Is Sexual Abuse Just an Offense? 

I heard several, including you, Lou Perez, reference Matthew 18 as a scriptural blueprint to address this situation. But is Matthew 18:15-17 the correct scriptural reference to use when discussing the crime of clergy sexual abuse of a child? Isn’t that scripture reference dealing with offenses within the Church?

If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.   (Matthew 18:15-17)

I believe your reference to Matthew 18 as a guide for dealing with offenses is correct. But to use it in this situation is to falsely call Child Sexual Abuse an offense. No! Sexual abuse is a crime! If you had a daughter who had been sexually abused, would you encourage her to follow Matthew 18 and meet one-on-one with her abuser? Would you even have her meet face-to-face with her abuser with someone else present? Anyone who understands the trauma of abuse would say this is extremely harmful advice. Do you really think this is what Jesus intended? There’s nothing in Scripture that suggests God condones abuse of any kind, whether it’s against a child, teen, or adult. Treating abuse as a minor offense that we can simply forgive and move on from is incredibly harmful. Abuse should always be treated as the crime it is.

Many of the responses to Melissa telling her story have focused on forgiveness. While I agree that forgiveness is crucial for anyone who is following Jesus Christ, when it comes to sexual abuse by a church leader, the first step should not be telling the victim to forgive their abuser. That in itself is a form of abuse and victimization.

The correct first step would be to listen to the victim, instead of re-traumatizing them by calling the abuse they experienced a simple offense. Then painting a picture that they just need to hug it out with their abuser, while both say they are sorry. This is not like kids on a playground who got into a tiff over who gets the best swing. NO, this is a grown man and a pastor who sexually abused a child over six years.

When church leaders use “calls for forgiveness” and Matthew 18:15-17 in cases of sexual abuse (especially child sexual abuse), I question their motivation. They appear to prioritize something other than the victim. When addressing clergy sexual abuse, especially of children, it is a significant misappropriation of Scripture to use a reference that deals explicitly with the handling of offenses.

Here are some scriptures that come to my mind that might be more appropriate for dealing with situations of clergy sexual abuse of a child:

(Matthew 23:27-28) “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people’s bones and all uncleanness. So, you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.”  

(1 Timothy 5:20) “As for those who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so that the rest may stand in fear.” 

Another version states: “But those elders who are sinning you are to reprove before everyone, so that the others may take warning.” 

(1 Corinthians 5:1-2) “It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that even pagans do not tolerate… And you are proud! Shouldn’t you rather have gone into mourning and have put out of your fellowship the man who has been doing this?” 

(Matthew 18:6) “If anyone causes one of these little ones – those who believe in me – to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.” 

 As Pastors and Elders, you have a fiduciary responsibility to act in the best interest of others. You’ve accepted the role and the high calling of being above reproach, so how can you justify your actions—or lack thereof? You have a moral and ethical duty to address these matters immediately, yet you’ve chosen not to.

Vilification of the Victim 

From your responses, it seems you’re trying to paint Marty as the victim and my wife, Melissa, as the villain. This is classic gaslighting. Why? Because Melissa dared to speak the truth? When a victim of sexual abuse comes forward, your response was to call her a liar and accuse her of operating under the spirit of “The accuser of the brethren” without even investigating?

There are people in your midst who know the truth from when Melissa first came forward, yet you still choose to ignore or cover up this abuse.

• Have you taken the time to listen to the real victim, my wife, Melissa Hobson?
• Have you considered bringing in an impartial third party to investigate?
• Have you thought about the years of counseling and therapy Melissa has gone through because of what was done to her?
• Do any of you care?
• Doesn’t God call us to stand up for the powerless, especially those abused by those in power?

(Proverbs 31:8-9) “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute.  Speak up and judge fairly: defend the rights of the poor and needy.” 

Silencing a victim’s voice is wrong and doesn’t align with God’s heart as described in Scripture. Attempting to vilify my wife is to suggest that her decision to share her story is just an attack on Marty, and that she could have pursued it in court if her intentions were pure. The statement made at City Church and in the lawyer’s response in The Batavian says,

“There has been ample opportunity for these accusations to be brought before a court of law…”

Really? Are you referring to when Melissa first shared her story, and we were told nothing could be done legally due to the statute of limitations? Or to the short window allowed by the child victim’s statute, which we were unaware of?

Are you aware that the average age for a victim of child sexual abuse to disclose is 52, if they disclose at all? Melissa has been on a long healing journey and is now ready to speak out. I’m sorry if her timing disrupts your interests, but she is not the villain here. Marty created this mess and is responsible for his actions when he chose to abuse my wife as a child.

Some Final Thoughts 

Ron Domina, I believe you did not handle this situation correctly the first time my wife came forward or the second time.

Lou Perez, it is my opinion that you have chosen to misappropriate Scripture and tried to minimize the crime of sexual abuse down to an offense.

The Elders of City Church Batavia, your response or your lack of response sends a strong message that my wife Melissa, the victim, does not matter to you. Victims of sexual abuse do not matter to you. Truth does not matter to you; otherwise, you would have called for a truly Independent Investigation.

The message all of you are sending loud and clear is that the most important thing to you in this situation is to protect the reputation of Marty, your church, Apostolic network, organization, leaders, and yourself.

I must ask, if someone in the Church sexually molested your wife or daughter, what would be your response? Right now, in your own church, if anyone were sexually molested, what action would you take?

Here are some things to consider when answering that question:

Do NOT cover it up.  

Do not misappropriate Matthew 18:15-17 and use it as an excuse to cover up sexual sin.  

Do NOT prioritize the reputation of the abuser over the victim. 

A common excuse for covering up sexual abuse in churches is the belief that protecting the reputation of one person helps safeguard the organization, allowing it to continue proclaiming the Gospel and carrying out other good works. However, this argument makes the dangerous assumption that the success of the organization and its ability to do good are more important than upholding the truth. It overlooks the harm caused to victims and the moral responsibility of addressing abuse, prioritizing appearance and results over genuine accountability and justice.

Do NOT accuse the Victim’s story of giving the church a bad name. 

Melissa telling her story brings important truth to light. Marty’s abuse of Melissa makes the church look bad. The attempt to cover it up and sweep it under the rug by you, the Elders, Ron Domina, Tommy Reid, Lou Perez, and the other members of the Apostolic Network makes the church look bad. Your attempts to turn this on Melissa, a victim of sexual clergy abuse when she was between the ages of 12 and 18, make the church look bad.

Listen to the victim. Listen to the abused.  

Do not silence the victim. For someone who has been sexually abused, suppressing their voice can be more traumatic than the abuse itself.

Abusers groom their victims, plus a whole lot of other people! 

Grooming a child for sexual abuse causes deep emotional, physical, and spiritual trauma. Melissa believed the abuse was her fault. Abusers are skilled at making their victims feel special, convincing them they’re in a romantic relationship. Marty made her feel like his girlfriend and was never cruel. Many abusers are charming and kind, but kindness never justifies sexual molestation.

Abusers in the church groom not only their victims but also families: the victim’s family, congregations, leaders, and influential community members. Abusers convince everyone that their actions are for the good of the church and the spreading of the Gospel. They often succeed because of their special talents. But how many people must be reached for it to justify molesting a young girl or abusing a woman? Abuse is always wrong. Do outcomes like a growing church or transformed lives make it acceptable for a leader to molest someone? How much success does a minister need to have before you would say it’s okay for him to abuse your daughter or your wife?

Talent and Charisma DO NOT equal Character and Integrity.  

Many abusers, especially in the church realm, are charismatic, talented, and charming. However, I see nowhere in Scripture where those characteristics equal character, integrity, and honesty.

In Conclusion: 

The system is broken—but it can be fixed. I deeply believe in God’s grace, love, and mercy, and hold these truths close to my heart. But we must also remember that God is a God of justice, a God who cares deeply for victims and those who have suffered abuse. God sees and God knows. His heart must ache over the abuse within His Church—especially sexual abuse, which robs innocence and distorts the very image of the Father’s love. The widespread sexual abuse in the Church is unacceptable. What happened to my wife Melissa is unacceptable. The lack of outrage over sexual sin in the Church is unacceptable. Something must change. And that change can start with you.

Why not take a stand for what is right? Why not call for an independent third-party investigation? Why not take real action to support sexual abuse victims? The system is broken. Will you help fix it or accept the status quo and help keep it broken?

Right now, the Church is failing when it comes to addressing sexual abuse. What kind of testimony does that give us? Even the world recognizes it’s wrong! When a doctor, teacher, or counselor is guilty of sexual abuse, the response is clear: victims are supported, and the abuser loses their license, can go to prison, or is disallowed from continuing in their profession. Now, there is a novel idea for the pastors in the church. But the Church has yet to get there.

We could change that. The question is, will you be part of that change?

Harlan Hobson