Lianna Chong: After Her Devastating Experience at Park Street Church, She Is Using Her Expertise to Help the Church Define and Deal With Spiritual Abuse

“Instead of using the Word as a sword to pierce through to the thoughts and motives of their own hearts, many spiritual leaders have used it as a stick to drive others, for a variety of reasons: to keep others from holding them accountable; to protect their image; to uphold a doctrine they have based a whole ministry upon; to keep funds coming in; to build religious kingdoms in order to bolster their own spiritual self-esteem. In other words, it’s possible that some leaders teach the Word for personal gain, not to heal and to free.”
― David R. Johnson, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church


I am leaving for Iceland on Saturday but will have my computer to check in (yay!) I am writing two posts for Monday and Wednesday, and Todd will post on Friday when I’m away. In two days, I am posting a story about a woman who was a victim of patriarchy and lived out in a church in Oklahoma. The church appears to promote Doug Wilson’s theology. When I return, I will post several stories of women who were abused as kids in an Assemblies of God (AOG) church. The denomination held a quasi-court and had the girls confront their abuser during the “trial.”  It is time for their story to see the light of day. Also, continue to pray for Melissa Hobson, who bravely made a police report.


Lianna saw “the worst case of psychological safety.” as PSC imploded,

Lianna Chong is a former member of PSC. For 15 years, she and her husband were active in young adults’ ministry, married ministry, and missions. Did you catch the word “former?” She has a Master’s of Theological Studies from Boston University School of Theology and an MA in Organizational Psychology from William James College (I saw her diplomas!)). She is also certified in the Fearless Organization Scan, a psychological safety assessment Dr. Amy Edmondson of Harvard Business School developed.

She’s worked in ministry with Cru Boston, taught adjunct in the master’s program at William James College, and consults with organizations on building resilience, addressing compassion fatigue, and increasing psychological safety.

She writes on Substack under Good Shepherding, which is paywalled, but I can access it. She wrote Changing Course about how she got sidetracked into the world of spiritual abuse.

I started listening to more first-hand accounts of the leadership dynamics behind closed doors. I discovered it was even worse than reported. I had studied psychological safety and worked with organizations to improve their open conversation, inclusion of all members, safety in risk-taking, and willingness to help one another. I was devastated to learn that the worst case of psychological safety I had ever seen was in my own church.

… Friendships have been destroyed. Fellowships have disintegrated. Children have lost the only church home they have known. An entire community has been ripped apart because of a failure to recognize and appropriately respond to spiritual abuse.

…I hadn’t heard of the term spiritual abuse before this encounter. I knew what it was in a general sense, and could identify many of the leadership behaviors as abusive from my own experiences with covert and narcissistic abusers (though thankfully not toward me). I began to educate myself on the literature:

Each book I picked up sounded as if it had been written about my church. The patterns of abusive leaders all lined up with what I had heard. A nagging question began to plague me: how could something that seemed so self-evident remain hidden from so many people in the church?

What is spiritual abuse?

She wrote What is Spiritually Abusive Leadership? 

Spiritual abuse involves emotional and psychological abuse, with the added layer of spiritual language as a mechanism—or justification—for the abuse. The abuser manipulates the victim’s thoughts and emotions to get something they want from the victim, whether that is compliance, silence, or endorsement. Sometimes the manipulation is so subtle that victims are not aware it is happening.

… Spiritually abusive leadership adds another layer of power and authority to the spiritual abuse. Religious leaders are entrusted with caring for their flock and leading them in the path of righteousness. Spiritually abusive leaders use their position to cause harm, whether intentionally or unintentionally. In the Bible, we see spiritually abusive leadership described as “ruling harshly” and “lording it over” the flock:

She identified some of the symptoms of spiritual abuse when interviewing people who had been hurt in the PSC mess. (Remember that many pastors were fired or pressured to leave.)

Through future research, I hope to demonstrate empirically that spiritually abusive leadership is abuse because it causes trauma. This was something I noticed right away when meeting with victims from my church. They were suffering physically: many couldn’t sleep, felt constantly sick to their stomachs, or had inexplicable aches and pains. They were suffering relationally: they were isolated even from their closest friends, who had no idea what they were going through. Spouses disagreed on how to handle the situation, causing tension and conflict. And they were suffering spiritually: some were questioning their own reality (is it us? are we crazy?), others questioned where God was in all of this. “I don’t want anyone to call me ‘minister’ right now. That word is tainted for me,” one survivor told me.

Lianna cleverly demonstrates how the serpent tempted Eve. I wish I could return to my old SBC church and tell them they reminded me of the serpent. I have to admit I giggled at the thought.

Then the serpent came and tempted Eve. Did the serpent force Eve to eat the fruit? Did he explicitly command her to? No. He twisted God’s words and bated her with a question: “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” (Genesis 3:1, NIV, emphasis mine).

The “crafty” serpent planted an idea in Eve’s mind which caused her to doubt God’s word and ultimately led her to disobey Him. What was the serpent’s method? Words. Bating questions. Half-truths. Additions and omissions. This same manipulation of language plays a key role in spiritually abusive leadership.

What does psychological safety look like in the church?

Lianna gives a basic definition of psychological safety.

Dr. Amy Edmondson of Harvard Business School defines psychological safety as a belief that one will not be punished or humiliated for speaking up with ideas, concerns, questions or mistakes.4 Psychological safety helps negate hierarchy by making it acceptable to challenge one’s superiors.

Then, she provides examples of the opposite of psychological safety in the PSC conflict. I experienced some of these when we confronted the church leadership in our former SBC church.

People couldn’t speak up about concerns. They were afraid of retaliation. Many stayed quiet out of self-preservation. I recognized these as signs of dangerously low psychological safety. Knowing the risks of such an environment in life or death situations, what were the risks to those in my church?

The answer became more apparent as I heard from others who were working under the Senior Minister. Many of them felt and looked like a shell of their former self. Some hadn’t slept more than four hours a night in months. My own mentors, the boldest ambassadors for the gospel you’ll ever meet, sat before me completely deflated. It was clear to me that they were suffering. This was not the fruit of good shepherding.

What does servant leadership look like?

Servant leaders are open to feedback, not considering themselves above others, but believing they have something to learn from the people they are leading. They are willing to share leadership because they are not chasing their own power.

Lianna sees the pain and believes her background in organizational psychology and her devastation at losing her church could help.

When I visited the Restoration Fellowship, I noticed Lianna held a gathering after the service. She was using her training to help former members of PSC deal with what they had experienced ed. I was impressed with the number of folks attending her discussion. I remember thinking, “She is doing something different here.”  She does have some goals.

I invite you to join me as I step out in faith toward three goals:

To write a book on the application of organizational psychology to spiritually abusive systems. Many of the posts I share on this substack will go into the final copy. I look forward to sharing these thoughts with you and hearing your feedback.

To develop an assessment for spiritually abusive leadership. This assessment will identify and measure specific behaviors of spiritually abusive leaders. After it has been statistically validated, I will work to publish it in an academic journal. My hope is that victims and churches can use this survey to cut through the confusion and gaslighting around spiritual abuse.

To launch an institute for research, training, intervention, and healing of spiritually abusive churches and organizations. While there are some excellent resources out there for understanding spiritual abuse, the sum total of academic research is exceptionally low. For example, there are no established clinical norms for spiritual abuse, and only one spiritual abuse scale (intended for use in a therapy setting) has been published in a peer-reviewed journal. There is one institute, GRACE, that is doing fantastic work in this area. Yet GRACE could not help my church even if they were asked due to a conflict of interest. If we are going to change the leadership culture across churches, we need as many groups working on this as possible.

She is raising support to be able to do this work. Her fundraising target is $36k for the first year, and she’s about 10% of the way there. You can follow along and support her by subscribing to goodshepherding.substack.com. Or, you can make a one-time gift here: https://gofund.me/b5cb752d

Finally, Lianna is turning her pain and devastation into something beautiful.

I am so glad to feature Lianna on this blog. TWW exists because I was devastated by my former church’s response to the myriad of issues surrounding the abuse of many teen boys by a SEBTS student. God used that pain and changed my life. Lianna has a dream and the experience to do something about spiritual abuse and psychological safety. The church needs her expertise.


Comments

Lianna Chong: After Her Devastating Experience at Park Street Church, She Is Using Her Expertise to Help the Church Define and Deal With Spiritual Abuse — 26 Comments

  1. With Lianna’s background in organizational psychology, it seems to me that she really has something very valuable to add to the field of spiritual abuse research.

    Abuse victim advocates always know that abuse is never just about lone predators, but rather, involves systems that enable and empower abusers while isolating and vilifying victims. I read 2 books about spiritual abuse this summer (Escaping the Maze of Spiritual Abuse by Lisa Oakley & Justin Humphreys, and Understanding Spiritual Abuse by Karen Roudkovski) and was struck by the fact that some of the key researchers on spiritual abuse are pointing out just how much more research has to be done, and how new a field of study this really is.

    I subscribe to Lianna’s Substack, and encourage others to do the same!

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  2. Peter contrasts genuine spiritual leadership vs. the spiritually abusive:

    “I strongly urge the elders among you [pastors, spiritual leaders of the church], as a fellow elder and as an eyewitness [called to testify] of the sufferings of Christ, as well as one who shares in the glory that is to be revealed: shepherd and guide and protect the flock of God among you, exercising oversight not under compulsion, but voluntarily, according to the will of God; and not [motivated] for shameful gain, but with wholehearted enthusiasm; not lording it over those assigned to your care [do not be arrogant or overbearing], but be examples [of Christian living] to the flock [set a pattern of integrity for your congregation]” (1 Peter 5:1-6)

    Does PSC have overlords? Has there been a pattern of arrogant and overbearing leadership or a pattern of integrity before the congregation?

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  3. Trigger warning: abusive CEO Booker puts his controlling and coercive plans in writing for the “solemn assembly.”

    Remember that Manipulating Mark alone defines what words mean… so during this “serious abomination” or “sycophantic adoration” time will be “decently and in order.” Also, “There will be opportunities for voluntary, spontaneous prayer, but in a guided and clear fashion.”

    https://mailchi.mp/parkstreet.org/solemn-assembly-info

    Subject: Solemn Assembly Info
    Date: Thu, 24 Oct 2024
    From: Park Street Church

    Dear Park Street Community,

    Greetings in the name of Jesus. As most of you know, we’re gathering tomorrow for a Solemn Assembly before the Lord. I encourage you to join us and trust that God will meet us powerfully as we humble ourselves before him.

    Given all that we have experienced in the past year as a community, I recognize that there could be some anxiety about this gathering. Considering this, I want to clarify a few things in advance, which I hope will encourage you to participate. We will say a bit more tomorrow at the beginning of our time together.

    The evening will follow a clear structure that will progress from confession (our primary focus), to lament, to prayers for healing. Each of you will receive a bulletin which will allow us to engage the Lord together “decently and in order” (1 Cor. 14:40) through prayer and song. During the gathering, you will not be asked to get into small groups or to personally share with others. There will be opportunities for voluntary, spontaneous prayer, but in a guided and clear fashion. For those who would like to arrive a bit early for silent reflection, the sanctuary will be open at 6:30 pm. We will start the assembly promptly at 7:00 pm.

    I mentioned at the end of the 11:00 am service last Sunday that this kind of gathering is not typical in the American church today. But it is a kind of gathering that was typical in early New England and at various points throughout the history of God’s people. As we gather in this way we are joining in a long tradition of the people of God and doing so at a very appropriate time in our life together.

    The Lord is on the throne, and he will lead our gathering tomorrow evening. As we come humbly before him, let’s be expectant, remembering this promise from Isaiah 57:15, “I dwell in the high and holy place, and also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly, and to revive the heart of the contrite.”

    Finally, for those joining us in fasting tomorrow, we will break our fast after the Solemn Assembly with a meal in the Welcome Center.

    I look forward to seeing many of you. May God meet us in his power and love.

    Grace and peace in Jesus,
    Mark

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  4. Friend of Park Street Church: Greetings in the name of Jesus.

    Church leaders need to be careful about dragging Jesus into their mess without first heeding this Scripture:

    “Behold, the Lord’s hand is not so short
    That it cannot save;
    Nor is His ear so dull
    That it cannot hear.
    But your wrongdoings have caused a separation between you and your God,
    And your sins have hidden His face from you so that He does not hear.”
    (Isaiah 59:1-2 NASB)

    A Solemn Assembly only works when both pulpit and pew humble themselves, confess their “wrongdoings”, and genuinely repent of their sin. Only then will Jesus show up at the assembly, forgive them, and bring healing to the church. It is presumptuous to think He would just be there by dropping His name without dropping our knees.

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  5. Max: I look forward to seeing many of you …
    … but not some of you

    Exactly! Spot on!
    .
    There are a few categories of people for Maniacal Mark:
    .
    – the sycophants: “Always welcome! Bring your friends and family!”
    .
    – the non-loyalists who still attend: “Go away, you inconvenient truth tellers!”
    .
    – the growing crowd of those who have walked and run away from the dumpster fire that arsonist Mark started and feeds with lies: “Don’t visit!” … so we can remove you all from the voting rolls before the next annual meeting…
    .
    Honestly, Moron Mark reminds me of an infant who thinks if they hide something that others definitely can’t see it. Or one who plays hide and seek by covering their eyes. Oh, honey, we can ALL see you…
    .
    And Mark, the more you write and talk about all of this, the dumpster fire you started, the more you tip your hand and show your cards. I’m not sure when you started thinking that grown adults won’t be able to figure you out… but the longer you carry on with this, the more your foolishness becomes apparent. It’s a sad, sad scene…
    .
    And yet, and yet… Jesus holds out forgiveness to even you… lay your pride and deceit down. Step into the light of the Gospel. You are very sick. Jesus is willing and able to diagnose your illnesses and give you a reliable prescription for repentance and healing. You can end this nightmare that you and Mandy and the kids have been enduring… if not for the sake of your own soul (do you still think if it?), then repent for the sake of your children and wife. They deserve freedom and peace.
    .
    .
    Luke 12:4-7

    Have No Fear

    [4] “I tell you, my friends, do not fear those who kill the body, and after that have nothing more that they can do. [5] But I will warn you whom to fear: fear him who, after he has killed, has authority to cast into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him! [6] Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. [7] Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.
    .
    You are not yet beyond the reach of Jesus. He still values you more than sparrows… just know that they are more obedient than you are. Take a lesson from them!

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  6. Friend of Park Street Church: Isaiah 57:15, “I dwell in the high and holy place, and also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly, and to revive the heart of the contrite.”

    If only Mark had continued reading Isaiah, he would have come across these verses in Isaiah 58:3-4:

    “Why do we fast, but you do not see? Why humble ourselves, but you do not notice?”
    Look, you serve your own interest on your fast day, and oppress all your workers.
    Look, you fast only to quarrel and to fight and to strike with a wicked fist.
    Such fasting as you do today will not make your voice heard on high. (NRSV)

    It isn’t difficult to see how this “fasting” serves only to advance the interests of Park Street leadership. The purpose of the assembly is to “close the door” on the conflict of the past year and to move on, without any place for those members and ministers who have been hurt and oppressed by abusive church leaders.

    I do pray that, regardless of Mark’s intentions for the assembly, God will convict him with a spirit of true repentance tonight. I do not think this is likely, but stranger things have happened. Nothing is impossible for the God who raised Christ from the dead.

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  7. Friend of Park Street Church: During the gathering, you will not be asked to get into small groups or to personally share with others.

    Interesting, since this is exactly what did happen in Lianna Chong’s first session to help Restoration Fellowship attendees heal … the chance to share personally in small groups.

    Dee, thank you for highlighting Lianna’s excellent work. I wish her well and hope this post helps garner her support.

    The first week RF began, I spoke to a PSC member who was choosing to stay at Park St. She said the mood was one of confusion: new people arriving who had no idea what had recently transpired, and traumatized members trying to process the mess. I don’t imagine tonight’s assembly will spread much light to the former or much healing to the latter. But I would love to be proved wrong.

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  8. Did any of you go to the gaslighting session tonight (Friday, October 25th)… the “solemn assembly” which could not be more inappropriately named… perhaps CEO Booker read Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell as a “how-to” guide rather than a dystopian narrative and commentary on society in 1948… just reading the Wikipedia page about the novel is uncanny!
    .
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nineteen_Eighty-Four
    .
    “Great Britain, now known as Airstrip One, has become a province of the totalitarian superstate Oceania, which is led by Big Brother, a dictatorial leader supported by an intense cult of personality manufactured by the Party’s Thought Police. The Party engages in omnipresent government surveillance and, through the Ministry of Truth, historical negationism and constant propaganda to persecute individuality and independent thinking.”
    .
    “Park Street Church, now known as Our Father Mark’s Parish, has become a province of the totalitarian superstate Bookerism, which is led by Big Booker, a dictatorial leader supported by an intense cult of personality manufactured by the Elder’s Thought Police. The Party engages in omnipresent congregational surveillance and, through the Ministry of Truth, historical negationism and constant propaganda to persecute individuality and independent thinking.”
    .
    Minimal changes… uncanny similarity… and maximum tragedy for all around Father Booker, whether they know it now, or will find out later.

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  9. Unless something has changed significantly recently, and I doubt it has, Mark has made a mockery of God last night by presenting himself before the church and God as repentant. Mark does not believe he has done anything wrong. He has every opportunity to turn and repent, but he refuses to acknowledge his sin at every chance. We should also pray for Mark Booker because I worry about which side of the gate he will be on if he keeps this up.

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  10. Max: Church leaders need to be careful about dragging Jesus into their mess

    “Taking the LORD’s Name in Vain” originally referred to claiming God’s sanction and justification for your own dirty work. (And still does in Judaism.)

    Effectively God is saying “You do your own dirty work! Don’t drag me into it! Not even by mentioning My Name!”

    Convenient how it has been redefined to mean cussing and only cussing, eh, my dear Wormwood?
    Nowhere do we corrupt so effectively as at the very foot of the Enemy’s altar!

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  11. Headless Unicorn Guy: “Taking the LORD’s Name in Vain” originally referred to claiming God’s sanction and justification for your own dirty work. (And still does in Judaism.)

    Effectively God is saying “You do your own dirty work! Don’t drag me into it! Not even by mentioning My Name!”

    I completely agree! Every time I read an intro from PSC emails that has this type of greeting, I immediately think of exodus20 : 7

    Until a few years ago, I primarily equated that verse with cursing… but after reading about and understanding spiritual abuse- the verse and its charge encompasses so much more.

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  12. mle bire: Until a few years ago, I primarily equated that verse with cursing… but after reading about and understanding spiritual abuse- the verse and its charge encompasses so much more.

    Yes, we’ve misinterpreted “Taking the Lord’s Name in vain” all along. The American church (in both pulpit and pew) is replete with characters who affix “Christian” to their ministries without being Christlike. In vain, they poorly represent Him.

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  13. I impart upon you all to make your own decision, but this was my decision with regard to reaffirming my membership with Park Street:

    _______________________________

    Randall,
    I’m not at all interested in reaffirming my membership with Park Street Church under the current leadership for reasons you are well aware of. I am very happy with the new fellowship that was formed by the former Ministers, Elders, and Congregants of Park Street at Restoration Fellowship.

    I am grateful to Park Street Church for the many times it has supported me spiritually/financially/emotionally over the 15 years that I have been a member and for the opportunity to lead the homeless ministry for six years, be a Deacon for four years, and a Missions Committee member for five years. It was a privilege to serve my church, and I regret that I’ve seen it fall so short and integrity that I have to leave.

    I sincerely hope you all will learn from this reckoning that God has given you in the mass exodus from Park Street that occurred.

    Sincerely,
    ~Susan E. Lane

    ____________________________
    As for Restoration Fellowship, I do not feel that it is a confused mess of people, as the person who commented earlier who has decided to stay with Park Street, but it is a beautiful new beginning of a gathering of former members of Park Street, both new and old, who left in solidarity from a church whose integrity was compromised by the poor leadership. While some hurt, of course, was expressed initially, many of us have expressed relief and joy in joining with a ministry team and congregation excited to get to know each other more intimately and worship God without all the austerity and secrecy of the former church.

    Isn’t it typical, that the ones who inherit a bad reputation because of their own doing, are the ones to protest the loudest? The Park Street leadership is a victim of their own demise, and that is all.

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