Let Us Talk of Elizabeth Taylor, James Dean, Scott Brown, and Katy Perry

"To me, acting is the most logical way for people's neuroses to manifest themselves, in this great need we all have to express ourselves". -James Dean

 

 

 

wikipedia

James Dean -Wikipedia

 

On March 26,2011, the News and Observer printed the following story which was quoted from the Seattle Times.
 

“Last week, in one of the largest monetary payouts in the nation the Jesuits, the largest religious order has agreed to pay $166.1 million dollars to settle abuse claims of 500 abuse victims. The Oregon Chapter of the Jesuits, Northwest Chapter, must also provide a written apology to the victims and must share medical information of the abusers with the victims.”

 

Having seen, in a previous church, the long-term consequences of pedophilia, we, at TWW, share a passion for telling the stories of those abused within churches. Some, in the evangelical church, have hypocritically pointed fingers at the Roman Catholic Church, alluding to the fact that priest can’t marry as contributing to this problem. Ah, but the Evangelical church is right up there with our Catholic friends in the pedophile abuse category.
 

We all know that the SBC has refused to establish a pedophile database to list the ministers who have been charged with this heinous crime. We also know that many churches elect to cover up this sin as opposed to dealing with it.
 

Even more jaw dropping is the naivete of those who spend more time worrying about the well-being of the minister who is a pedophile than the young victims themselves. Just recently I had a conversation with the head of a ministry who told me that, if Eddie Long abused the male teens, we must work to restore him right away. What? This shows profound ignorance of the recidivism rate of pedophiles as well as misplaced compassion that needs to go to the victims. Said individual never ONCE mentioned the poor boys who were harmed! We will deal with this subject more on Thursday when we discuss a church which mishandled a group of teens who were abused in the youth ministry.
 

However, the next two stories should give our readers a little insight into the potential long range consequences of pedophilia. We conclude with a third story that possibly shows consequences of legalism. All of these stories involved well-known personages. So now, we give you a bit more of the rest of the story.
 

 

Senator Scott Brown, (R) Massachusetts

 

Scott Brown has been both extolled and vilified by the Conservative media. He certainly doesn’t fit into a box when it comes to his political beliefs. However, two interesting facts emerge, that, when seen together give meaning to some of his actions. Brown infamously posed nude as a college student to earn money. I, along with others, wondered if this was a silly frat prank or something that might indicate a character flaw.
 

Then, during an interview with CBS' "60 Minutes, along with an interview with a local CBS affiliate, LINK, we learned the following.

 

A “Brown aide noted that when he was a state legislator, Brown worked on a number of bills to toughen sex-offender laws and strengthen protections for victims. He also proposes eliminating the statute of limitations for sexual abuse.”
 

There is a personal reason for his passion for sex offender laws. In a remarkable interview, Brown, for the first time, gave a glimpse into his past. He reports that ,not only was he physically abused by his stepfathers, he was molested, on multiple occasions, at the age of ten, by a camp counselor at a religious camp on Cape Cod. He said that the counselor threatened to kill him if he reported this. So, he never did.
 

“Brown said not even his mother knew about the abuse, explaining he was "embarrassed" and "hurt" by what he went through."When people find people like me at that young vulnerable age, who are basically lost, the thing that they have over you is, they make you believe that no one will believe you,"

 

“He suggested his past has made him stronger as a politician."When I'm getting the crap beat out of me outside, in the political spectrum, I'm like, 'Psst. This is nothing. Bring it on. Let's go'”
 

Lessons learned:

  • Pedophiles threaten their victims to keep them silent.
  • Victims can feel shame and not tell those close to them.(Memo to a former church)
  • The victim feels the pain for the rest of his life.
  • Physical boundaries are broken with sexual abuse and can lead to sexually promiscuous behavior down the road.
  • The numbers of people molested are probably much higher than we can imagine.

 

 

Elizabeth Taylor and James Dean
 

Most people have heard of the great James Dean. He was the rebel bad boy who thumbed his nose at values of the 1950s. He was "The Rebel Without a Cause", the title of one his most famous movies. I used to teach church history with a man who claimed that Dean was rebelling against the facade of perfect families in the 1940s and 50s. He seemed to understand that everyone appeared to looked good on the outside by going to church and dressing and speaking nicely, but underneath the mask there was unexpressed pain and suffering. My friend believed that Dean was the harbinger of the coming protests of the 1960s.
 

What is interesting about Dean is that his movie persona seemed to coincide with his private persona. Why?
 

For quite some time, it was known that James Dean had confided a terrible secret to Elizabeth Taylor before he died in a car accident at the age of 24 in 1955. She said she would make the secret known upon her death. Upon her death on March 23, the secret was revealed.
 

A report in the Huffington Post, LINK, gives us some answers. Kevin Sessums of The Daily Beast, released her statements to him from years ago.

 

"I loved Jimmy. I'm going to tell you something, but it's off the record until I die. OK? When Jimmy was 11 and his mother passed away, he began to be molested by his minister," she revealed to Sessums, who was sworn to secrecy.
 

"I think that haunted him the rest of his life. In fact, I know it did," she said of her friend. "We talked about it a lot. During ‘Giant’ we'd stay up nights and talk and talk, and that was one of the things he confessed to me."

 

"Taylor and Dean starred together in 1956's 'Giant,' a film in which Dean earned his second posthumous Best Actor Academy Award nomination.
 

"Dean was known to have a chip on his shoulder against fathers, thanks in part to never reconciling with his own father.  While he never married, he had a short-lived public relationship with Italian actress Pier Angeli. Best friend, roommate and biographer William Bast claims to have had a sexually intimate relationship with Dean, as well."
 

The NY Post reports, LINK, that:
 

“Over the years, several Dean biographers have claimed he had a longstanding consensual sexual relationship with the Rev. James DeWeerd, a Wesleyan pastor in Fairmount, Ind., who had a penchant for young boys. Dean was 9 when his mother died of cancer and his dad sent him to live in Fairmount.”
 

Could it be that Dean’s tragically short life and rebellion may have found it’s roots in the church? Another fascinating point to consider is who Dean chose to confide in. He did not go for help in the church. He went to a warm woman who publicly lived a life of broken relationships and struggles with addictions. Could it be that he found her more caring and understanding than those people in the church who had let him down?
 

Lessons learned:

  • Sexual abuse at a young age can lead to life-long rebellion.
  • Children with poor family ties are often targeted by predators. They are vulnerable,often seeking a loving parental relationship from any caring adult.
  • Once abused, some will leave the church and seek solace elsewhere.
  • The dysfunctional church could be the root of some problems in the culture.
  • Sexual abuse by same sex predators can lead to same sex orientation for the victim

 

 

Katy Perry

 

Finally, many of you may know of Katy Perry, a current pop sensation. She seems to go out of her way to shock to audience with her stage antics. I had dismissed her out of hand, thinking she was this decade's version of Madonna. However, her past might gave me some insight into her current “in your face” behavior.
 

Mary and Keith Hudson, her parents are self described evangelical pastors. In a report by Celebrity Café, Perry speaks of her upbringing. LINK.

 

“My religious upbringing was comically strict – even the Dirt Devil vacuum cleaner was banned,” The Examiner reports. “In our house, no one was allowed to refer to deviled eggs. We had to call them angelic eggs.”

 

She elaborates in another interview. LINK.

 

“We were never allowed to swear. I'd get into trouble just for saying 'Hell no'. If you dropped a hammer on your toe in our house you had to say something like 'Jiminy Christmas'. The only music we were allowed to listen to was gospel. No wonder I rebelled."

 

She rebelled by writing her hit song "I Kissed a Girl” to strike back at her strict, religious upbringing.
 

I found the following comment, LINK, by her mother sadly revealing. Read carefully her concerns, which she outlines in a coming book about her daughter.
 

"In the tome, she explains why she "disagrees with a lot of choices" the pop star has made, and reveals the "negative" impact her daughter's fame has had on her ministry."
 

Lessons:

  • Can we be too strict in our upbringing?
  • Can such strictness cause our children to rebel?
  • When our children choose a different path, are we more concerned about our image (ministry and income) than in their spiritual welfare?
  • Can we admit our mistakes?
     

 

Should the church be more like Elizabeth Taylor?

 

To tie this all up, I have a provocative question. Should the church be more like Elizabeth Taylor? Of course Taylor never professed to "walking the aisle." However,Taylor, unlike the church,  never hid her addictions and broken relationships. Yet, she seemed to attract those in pain and offered them her friendship. Who can forget her unlikely and loving friendship with Michael Jackson. Jackson, strange and reclusive, looked at Taylor as his best friend.

 

James Dean, hurt and broken by the church, chose to confide in a woman, who in spite of her own difficulties, offered him loved, confidentiality and acceptance. Is the church sometimes more condemning than loving? And could it be that its' judgment on the world should be judgment on itself?

 

Scott Brown has returned to church, albeit a nontraditional one. He appears to be hopeful about God and is involved with a nontraditional church.“ He told  ABC’s Barbara Walters. LINK.

“I believe in God and I am very thankful for the things that I’ve been blessed with,” he told her. “Is there a higher being that’s looking out for people? I hope so, I’m hopeful. His church, Christian Reformed is described as “ a church for people who have given up on religion but not God.” Who can blame him for seeking something different than what he had as a child?

 

My question for all of us in the church is this. Do we become knee jerk culture warriors or do we first reform the church and accept our share of the blame?


Lydia's Corner: Deuteronomy 33:1-29 Luke 13:1-21 Psalm 78:65-72 Proverbs 12:25

 

 

Comments

Let Us Talk of Elizabeth Taylor, James Dean, Scott Brown, and Katy Perry — 46 Comments


  1. Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127

    I visit a conservative Christian political board that is always talking about how the liberal left and Feminism is destroying the family. And because I point out that there are plenty of things within Christianity and many churches that are doing more damage to Christian families than what Liberals, Homosexuals, Feminists, etc they have blamed me for hating the church and wanting to beat up Christians.

    They totally don’t get that sin the sin within the Church will destroy her faster than the sins outside the church.


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    Mara

    Keep preaching it! The blogosphere is opening up the windows into the darkness is the church.


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    To me it is sad that some in the S.B.C. have offended at one church and because there was no known report by a church seeking a pastor some wolves in sheepclothing have continued to skulk about. I say this in shame because i pastor a church connected to the S.B.c. This has come up recently with the executive council and because each church is truly autonomous it was felt that a pastoral review panel would be inappropriate. I have wondered if some with pedophile tendecies have not entered the ministry thinking that a most heinous problem would be resolved when they made such a commitment. Sad to say some problems are so entrenched and satanic that a cure has to be miraculous. No doubt in my mind God can forgive all sins but even the forgiven are in my opinion disqualified from doing certain things and the pastorate is one of them.


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    ” I have wondered if some with pedophile tendecies have not entered the ministry thinking that a most heinous problem would be resolved when they made such a commitment”

    I once had a police investigator tell me that churches are the safest places for pedophiles and other perverts. Mostly because of the cheap forgivness and the fact that no one wants the image of Christians tarnished with such negative truths so they work to keep it in house or rally around the pervert to show how pious they are with forgiveness if they are charged. Rarely do they actually think of the victims. In fact, their behavior victimizes the victim, again.

    We can see evidence of this when one is found out and charged. The “Christians” will pack the courtroom and give character witness saying he is sorry and beg the judge to go light on them. A old college chum of mine is a judge that presided over such a drama a while back. He told me that the Christians will pack the courtroom when it comes to porn zoning violations and then pack it again when one of their own is caught molesting children begging for mercy. He did not get it. They did not seem to mind the “porn” committed by one of their own.


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    BTW: The way the church rallies around the pervert sends a very clear message to current and future victims.

    Folks, we can forgive them and minister to them in jail while they are paying their debt to society.


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    Lydia,

    “Paying their debt to society”… What exactly does that mean?


  7. Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127

    Does anyone else reading here know what I meant by “paying their debt to society”? Just curious.


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    Lydia,

    What I am asking you is whether you feel that incarceration is punitive or restorative. Spending an eternity in jail wouldn’t change the damage that was done. So they are not really “paying back” anything.

    If prison is punitive, then are we back to an eye for an eye mentality? If it is just a matter of keeping society “safe”, wouldn’t a hospital or mental health facility be better suited to helping the individual with the problem.

    If we really value human lives, as the conservative, anti-abortion groups so vehemently shout, then shouldn’t all of our resources go toward treating the individual concerned so we can return him to a productive place in society?

    Just questions…


  9. Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127

    ‘Just questions”

    I think they are questions that are not really relevant to the thread. I simply used a phrase that has been commonly used. You can analyze it all you want

    I am not really interested in returning pedophiles to productive places in society. I am not willing to take the chance they are “cured” when we know they rarely are. I would rather err on the side of protecting children since many pedophiles who are finally caught have sometimes hundreds of victims.

    Last I checked, unborn babies have not committed crimes. So, I am not sure how comparing them to criminals who molest children is fair. Or how preventing pedophiles from molesting again is not valuing “life”. It certainly values the lives of innocent children.

    Seriously Karlton, you are making me not want to comment here anymore.


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    Lydia/Karl

    I think they should lock these guys up and away from society. I think that a straight mental hospital is inappropriate because their problem is known and cannot be truly treated unless via chemical castration. A prison institution is probably the best bet to protect society.

    Society does not have the resources to follow these guys around in civil society. We know it is practically a guarantee that they will molest again. This cannot be allowed to happen.

    Karl, we do not kill the unborn or molesters. However, we do not have to guarantee anyone a “fair” life. We can try, as hard as we can, to protect the most vulnerable amongst us.


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    Dee,

    I am not adverse to protecting children, but I also wonder about what seems to be a very vendetta like mentality when it comes to incarceration, especially of sex offenders. I think we couch our anger in terms of protecting children, but I’m not sure that’s really where our emotions are centered.

    I think if we value each individual life, as is so often claimed, then not only do the children deserve protection, but the people who are guilty of crimes against them are also in need of help and to help one group at the expense of the other, isn’t the right solution either, although it may be the one that makes us feel the best…but should that be the yardstick of our compassion?

    Lydia,

    The post is about sexual abuse and how to handle the problem…I fail to see how my comment is not “on topic” or relevant. As far as you not wanting to post here anymore..well that’s for you to decide, assigning “blame” for that decision on me, seems silly at best..but if it makes you feel better, I won’t lose any sleep over it.


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    Bojac

    You said the following: “each church is truly autonomous it was felt that a pastoral review panel would be inappropriate.” I find the SBC truly confusing. The SBC recently kicked out a church in Georgia that decided to keep a woman as a pastor. But, the SBC will not intervene in situation in which a pedophile has been hidden by a church, etc. It seems like the SBC can pick and choose what constitutes appropriate.And it seems women in the pulpit are more concerning than pedophiles Until they choose to protect the most vulnerable amongst us, then I would say they a most hypocritical bunch. Any thoughts?


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    Actually, I would go even further than that. It seems to me that popular movements within the conservative Christians are downright unfriendly to sexual abuse survivors- specifically the purity movement and the ideas of modesty (which often takes a victim-blaming stance- the lust of men is blamed on the women). A sexual abuse survivor myself, I still haven’t told my family or friends that I have experienced sexual abuse, mostly from fear of being blamed for what happened, of being seen as less pure, and of being judged.


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    Dee: I have no defense for some of the radical decisions made by certain groups. If you are familiar with the S.B.C. you are aware of the state and local associations that can accept or reject a church into their fellowship. The lady pastor in Georgia had been a very adept pastor in Waco Texas. But because there are those who are very adamant in that they will not ordain a local pastor take very seriously what said is said about a woman’s place. To me it seems to be a case of pick and choose. Paul said a woman should not cut her hair except it be shaven. But our wise brethren have decided that no longer applies. But they are aghast to think a woman could teach or have any authority over a man. Now, back to pedophiles. I havn’t heard much about women in the church setting violating sexually an underage person. We all know some women public school teachers in particular have broken the bounds of sensible judgment. Perhaps I am being a hypocrite, but to me this is not nearly as dastardly as what some so-called church leaders have done. I can truthfully say I have never tried to hide an activity that is so destructive. I have recommended pastors to particular church but only when I knew this person had no devious tendencies.


  15. Notice: Undefined variable: button in /home/guswo2wr8yyv/public_html/tww2/wp-content/plugins/quote-comments/quote-comments.php on line 127

    About the same-sex molestation issue: I think a lot of people (gay and straight) would disagree with you on that, for good reason.

    I don’t know if you folks are of the opinion that sexual orientations can “change” (a la Exodus International and other “ex-gay” groups). I used to believe it was possible, until… I started meeting people who have survived (and often been quite damaged by) the “ex-gay” movement.

    Example: i have a friend who was molested by the parent of the same sex. So was this friend’s sibling (both of the same sex and gender.) One of them is gay, while the other is straight. The abuse was abuse – but it did not alter their respective sexual orientations.

    I realize that what I have just stated is not a popular view in conservative Christian circles, but … it is one of many similar stories that I’m aware of. Reality just doesn’t seem to coincide with the standard conservative Christian “line” on this issue.

    That said, James Dean – and thousands of others – should never have had to experience what they have experienced (or are, right now, experiencing).

    I just know that I don’t want to see more children harmed.

    * Early this year, a very highly thought-of computer programmer (very forward-looking, talented young man) committed suicide… and left a note describing the intense emotional pain and fear he was experiencing due to childhood sexual abuse. This letter was published in many online venues (mostly computer geek-type sites) and it’s one of the most devastating things I’ve ever read.

    Not surprisingly, the young man was raised in a very conservative “Christian” milieu.

    I can’t remember his name, but i think that Dee and Deb might want to find this piece (if they haven’t already, that is).

    As to how to handle pedophiles: I wish we had better answers.


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    Numo

    I agree with what you have said. I understand that it is believed most people with same sex attraction are born with same sex attraction. My own observations seem to bear this up. Once again, I said “most people” as opposed to “all people”. In fact, I was careful to say “can lead” as opposed to “categorically causes.”

    After dealing with with a pedophile situation in a former church, I read extensively on the subject. In some of the sites I visited, and I promise they were not legalistic Christian site, there was some discussion about how a traumatic event, such as this, might cause a change in such perception. Thank you for calling me out on this.


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    BOJac

    I am so glad there are pastors like you out there. I like your statement about “pick and choose.” What makes me so sad is the safety children seem to take a lower priority than some perception of gender roles.Somehow, i don’t think this has anything to do with what the Bible says. I am afraid it is all about an agenda of secondary issues that have been raised to primary importance. And kids take a back seat except when it comes to “properly” disciplining them.


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    Anna

    I am so sorry for your pain. I am angry about the church which would cast blame on the victim. I saw this in another church which seemed to indicate that the kids were to blame for “not telling their parents.” I am still recuperating!

    You know, those who would condemn you are hiding problems in their own lives. I know it because they are sinners. There are closet folks like porn users, drug addicts, alcoholics, gluttons, uncontrolled anger, greed, etc.

    So, all of these sinners like to point to another sin that they have not experiences. It is a way to put on a mask that they are “good” Christians. They aren’t, no one is. That is why James Dean and Michael Jackson went to Elizabeth Taylor. She had no pretense. her pain was out there for everyone to see. There were no excuses. It is rather strange to think that Taylor, not religious as I fas as I know, acted more like the church than some in the church.

    I pray God will bring you friends who who will love and support you as you deal with this traumatic time in your life.


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    numo said:

    “Early this year, a very highly thought-of computer programmer (very forward-looking, talented young man) committed suicide… and left a note describing the intense emotional pain and fear he was experiencing due to childhood sexual abuse. This letter was published in many online venues (mostly computer geek-type sites) and it’s one of the most devastating things I’ve ever read. Not surprisingly, the young man was raised in a very conservative “Christian” milieu.” ]

    His name was Bill Zeller, and he was a brilliant 27 year old grad student at Princeton. There is a lot of information on the internet about his suicide, which occurred just a few months ago. Here’s what Christa Brown wrote regarding Zeller’s death. He left a 4,000 word suicide note that Christa posted. The information about his so-called “Christian” parents (toward the end of the suicide note) is especially upsetting to me.

    http://stopbaptistpredators.blogspot.com/2011/01/bill-zellers-suicide-note.html


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    Anna,

    My heart breaks for you, and I want you to know that you are in my prayers. God bless you for coming forward and confiding your abuse to the TWW family (even though most of us don’t know each other).

    Sexual abuse is a hot button issue here at The Wartburg Watch, so I hope you will keep reading. Dee and I have so much compassion for those who have experienced abuse in any form.


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    You TWW ladies probably saw this over on Survivors, but one church is voluntarily addressing a past of abuse, even if it is late and time has yet to tell how significant the changes will be.

    May other churches follow suit.


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    Watcher,

    Yes, I did read the article linked over at Survivors. Thanks for making sure we knew about it.


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    ”’I am not adverse to protecting children, but I also wonder about what seems to be a very vendetta like mentality when it comes to incarceration, especially of sex offenders. I think we couch our anger in terms of protecting children, but I’m not sure that’s really where our emotions are centered.”’

    We have to work with how our system works. Asking the government to remove a sex offender from society? I’m not sure I would call it a ‘vendetta’. If found guilty they aren’t to go to prison like any other criminal? It sounds like you more have an issue with the prison system. That’s fine, because I’m sure alot of people would agree with you. What other resources do we have besides prison for sex offenders?

    ”’I think if we value each individual life, as is so often claimed, then not only do the children deserve protection, but the people who are guilty of crimes against them are also in need of help and to help one group at the expense of the other, isn’t the right solution either, although it may be the one that makes us feel the best…but should that be the yardstick of our compassion?”’

    Karlton – if we look at how the church defends the criminal within their church they don’t value anyone it seems. I mean do their actions look like true value in regards to the sex offender? Not to me.

    The children don’t get protection from the gossip, etc they shew out after it comes out. Danni Moss would write about cases that came up in the news before she passed away, and the comments defending the criminals were truly out there. How the children ‘made themselves available’ to the sex offenders. It was a repeated theme as story after story came out.

    The yardstick of compassion was not there at all.

    It seems you get victimized as a child – the church sticks up for the adult. They say children are naive, and need protection in all kinds of realms until it comes to issues like this. For some strange reason when it does happen they are no longer naive, but someone that ‘pushed and enticed’ the sexual offender into action. Does that encourage others to speak out? No way!

    The system of compassion is also pretty sick when it defends the sex offender with the same amount of energy they do their pet sins of the day like homosexuality, etc. This could be seen as vendetta to some as well.

    It is cheap forgiveness towards the offender, and its also enabling them NOT to face realities. It tells the offender its okay to take on the victim mode, because they have a group behind them that supports that view.

    The church has a rather warped view of things. The one similarity that they have with the world? They aren’t brave enough – or faithful enough – to face their own sins. Truth speaks to their sin. They aren’t strong enough to face that, and admit that, and own that. The bible to me speaks to leading by example, and if they did there would be balance between offender and victim.

    Its strange how the church preaches the evils of the world, and yet they are not strong enough to face their own sin. They are not strong enough to admit it, and stand up to it, and change it.

    They stand up for sexual offenders within their church, and attack the victims and their families. They do not lead by example with compassion towards both. They instead look like a band of thugs attacking children.

    Its truly sad. The stand they take show they value no one is the reality.


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    “Its strange how the church preaches the evils of the world, and yet they are not strong enough to face their own sin. They are not strong enough to admit it, and stand up to it, and change it.

    They stand up for sexual offenders within their church, and attack the victims and their families. They do not lead by example with compassion towards both. They instead look like a band of thugs attacking children.”

    Hannah T,

    Spot on! I may be quoting you in an upcoming post. It’s really sad when pastors put their own reputations over abused children in their congregations. It’s all about self-preservation, and it’s so ungodly! Shame on them.


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    ”’I think if we value each individual life, as is so often claimed, then not only do the children deserve protection, but the people who are guilty of crimes against them are also in need of help and to help one group at the expense of the other, isn’t the right solution either, although it may be the one that makes us feel the best…but should that be the yardstick of our compassion?”’

    In effect you are saying we should treat children the same as adults. Yet children need protection and only adults can provide that. That is not a ‘feeling” but a fact of life.

    Maybe Dee and Deb can do a post on the prison system for you.


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    Anna, I have been astonished at how many adults I have met who experienced some form of sexual abuse in their childhood. It is unbelievable. The official stats cannot begin to tell the whole story. And the more horrific part is that if people tell…even later as adults…they are accused of ruining someone’s life! The only thing I can come up with is that more people than I thought do not think much of children. And this is why the perverts choose children./ They are the most vulnerable in terms of being believed and in terms of scaring them from telling anyone. This is why perverts choose children. And why we must take huge strides in protecting children from these predators.

    If anyone does not know what I mean, you can get a taste of it on Christa Brown’s blog. Some of the comments are astonishing! Go back and read stories of those accused of perversion and the comments written by their defenders.

    Everyone is concerned about false accusations. But we know that most never say a word about the abuse. It takes a lot for a child to speak out and tell an adult. I know of one little boy who was molested in the bathroom at church while his mom was in choir practice. It was by a fellow choir member. She would never have known except he told his brother who was only a few years older than him and he told his parents. What happened? The church leadership asked the family of the abused boy to leave the church!


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    BTW: Christa Browns abuser was the youth minister. She told the music minister who told her not to talk about it. In fact, Christa was made to “apologize” to minister’s wife!

    This is what I mean by thinking we must treat the young abused like an adult. They simply do not have the coping skills or intellect to stand up for themselves against the adults who will not protect them. And think about the “adults” with titles in a church! If you cannot trust them, who can you trust? A child has no way to know different.

    her abuser went on to other churches and was even on the staff at Charles Stanley’s church years later. Christa and others tried to get Charles Stanely to warn his congregation but he refused and was quite hateful about it.

    Now many pastors accuse Christa Brown of having a “vendetta”. Can you imagine? Blame the victim. I suppose she is supposed to just keep her mouth shut while this predator goes from church to church.

    Her abuser is Tommy Gilmore.


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    The issue for me is post-incarceration management. The “registered sex offender” laws are draconian and not particularly effective, and lump all sorts together, old men who abuse pre-teen children with 17 year olds having sex with a 16 year old, and treating all the same. We need some better tools than that program as currently implemented in many states. One is the ankle monitoring device, which can detect if it is still being worn, provide GPS information on a real time basis to a law enforcement computer, etc., for a couple of dollars a day per offender, versus $50 or more per day for incarceration. After some period of incarceration and treatment, the offender needs to be in a life-long program that offers treatment and requires continuous monitoring. Recidivism is very high. A prosecutor once told me that if a released offender (other than a juvenile offender) does not re-offend, it is likely due to a mistaken conviction or aging beyond capability or desire.


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    Sorry to be a comment hog but I wanted to write about what really changed my view on dealing with predators. I was asked by a friend to accompany her and several other psychologists to a prison to interview pedophiles and predators. She asked me to come so I could write an article for her.

    I had no experience with the prison system or this issue. Which is why she wanted me to write the article in layman’s words. The interviews were astonishing to a layperson.

    Most pedophiles could not remember the number of victims they had. Most were convicted on ONE instance of being caught. Which means there were many others who never said a word. A few of the peds said they know they had over 100 victims.

    The victims were children in their everyday life: Neighborhood kids, church, family members, etc. In this one prison there were 27 pedophiles and all were middle or lower class. Makes you wonder how much justice a wealthier pedophile can buy.

    The clincher: Most would end up serving less than 10 years on a 25 year sentence. Every single one of them saw a psychiatrist in prison paid for by the state. And I can tell you that from my perspective in that room that day, none of them were cured and would be on the streets again. When they talked about what they did, there was NO remorse or shame.

    Of course now we have the offenders site where we can track them and that helps. but most offenders never see the inside of a prison and are never convicted.

    The need I saw was to educate children.


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    Arce

    You are an expert on these things. Could you please help me to understand how a GPS device can stop a pedophile from offending?
    Can it detect if the pedophile is at a school or playground?
    How fast is the response.?
    Are they watching everyone at every moment?
    How do they know if a pedophile hasn’t walked into a Target to shop as opposed to grabbing some kid there?

    I know that you are aware of the recidivism rate which is over 90% so containment is a major concern.

    I agree that this is a difference between a pedophile and an 18 year old kid and his 16 year old girlfriend. That should be treated differently.


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    Lydia

    I think there are a fair number of people out there who think that pedophilia can be cured by prayer and Bible study. Also, there are others who want to “treat” the offender because they believe that a cure is possible.

    Jesus never promised us that we would conquer over all of our addictions in this life. There is a difference between pursuit of holiness and actually achievement thereof.

    The sad fact remains that, except for chemical castration (and even that with caveats), there is no known cure for the pedophile as of this moment. My daughter’s neurosurgeon said that he feels like a caveman as he operated on the brain. It is as complex as the universe.

    I know it is “unfair” that pedophiles have these compulsions. It was also unfair that my daughter had a brain tumor. It is unfair that some kids get molested.

    This life is not about being fair. It is about being realistic tempered with compassion.

    The first and foremost, priority is to make the children as safe as possible. In the current system, that may mean incarceration for many. Perhaps there are ways to monitor sex offenders but I would have to see a foolproof system before I would risk one child.

    Now, for some, chemical castration has been successful. However, some legal groups have fought this tooth and nail thinking it is a basic human right to ….what exactly? I’m not sure.


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    Current technology allows the computer to be programmed with the coordinates of schools and the like where children congregate, and if the pedophile moves closer than permitted to such a site, an alarm rings in the dispatch (911 or police dispatcher) so that officers are sent. Similarly, if on probation, an offender can be limited to specific places and pathways, with an alarm if he goes anywhere else. This can cause problems if there is a detour (accident, construction), so the system needs to have some flex, but generally these can be extremely effective. And it can allow an offender to work and support themselves. Of course, violating terms of probation results in re-incarceration. The monitoring can be real time should the pedophile leaves his residence or place of work. Some allow monitoring for alcohol or selected drugs through the skin, and some can provide pulse monitoring as well to be sure it is on the offender.


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    “Now, for some, chemical castration has been successful. However, some legal groups have fought this tooth and nail thinking it is a basic human right to ….what exactly? I’m not sure.”

    A basic human right to……..?

    I think you have nailed the problem. Compassion is a _________.


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    The basic human right is to not be mandated to undergo a possibly permanent change in the person’s body — that is the person. It is the same human right that we uphold when we do not lop off hands for theft. Offenders who allege that they have an uncontrollable urge can elect to undergo the chemical castration. However, generally, the effect is temporary unless the drug is continued, so it is not a permanent solution for the unrepentant offender.


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    Arce

    There are some groups, however, that have opposed allowing the choice to chemical castration Why is that?

    Also, there was a case of a man who wanted physical castration. He had been seen by psychiatrists who claim he had a logical reason to do so. he felt that even chemical castration might not be effective because he was afraid he might not keep it up if the urge became too strong. Do you know why, with psychiatrists OKing his decision, that groups oppose this even when it is not coercive?


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    I think the opposition is fear of a “slippery slope” and that there is, by default, a coercion to have the treatment. It is important that any such treatment not substitute for a penalty for the behavior that puts the person before the court. Otherwise, if it is an alternative, then there is, factually, a coercion to have the treatment. If the treatment is not a substitute for the normal penalty, and the pedophile gets not different response from the legal system because of it, then I think that there would be less opposition to it. But the “slippery slope” argument is still there BTW, I do not believe in “slippery slopes” except on the roads, driveways, sidewalks and ski slopes.


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    I am saddened as i read these comments. Personally, I can’t think of anything more satanic than the ruining of a child’s life. I am doubly sad to think that anyone even remotely connected with the name of Christ would do such a deed. I think we all know that most, whatever that number is would never commit acts that are so destructive. My counseling has been geared more to addictive personalities. To some it is drugs cocaine, prescription drugs, alcohol etc. But when I have dealt with pedophiles, I have had no success in effecting a cure. Of course when I speak of success it is with the clear understanding that I can’t really help anyone unless Our Lord intervenes. I don’t like to mention it but when I was 13 yrs old I came into contact with a predator. I was not hurt physically but it took a long time to restore any trust in certain types of people. I like others was so ashamed I didn’t tell anyone for years. Perhaps, my experience has made me very aware of how this just wrecks a young person’s psyche. Another confession, I can deal with counseling ppl. with other addictions much more easily than i can a person who yearns for a child. Yes, may The Lord forgive me i am predjudiced.


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    Bojac,

    For similar reasons, though qualified, I have refused to be the attorney ad litem representing a child or children when the parental rights are being terminated due to abuse (of any sort) of the child. I am extremely fond of children and have been all of my life — they are people before other people have had a chance to mess them up, and they need to be protected. So I am afraid my temper would get the best of me in the case of a parent who had abused his/her own child.

    There is another side of this story. Two actually. First, in this town, there has been a 15-16 year old girl who looks much older and who was abused by a relative when younger. She hates men and has been luring men into sex with her, then going to the hospital, getting the DNA preserved, and filing a complaint with the prosecutor. So far as the defense bar (of which I am not a part, but lawyers do talk to each other) believes she has sent 6 or more men to jail for statutory rape — sex abuse of a minor. In one case, it also included the man’s wife who was the one who set up a three-some involving this girl. That she has done this many times is not a defense. The statute only requires that she be younger than 17 and that the other person had sex with her. There is no defense of ignorance of age, etc.

    The other story is that there is a way for students to get a teacher out of the classroom nearly instantly. All one has to do is to create some evidence of a relationship with the person, fake a text message or two, make a complaint and within a week or so, the teacher is gone, never to return, even if the charges get dropped or innocence is proved. It has happened here, more than once.


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    Many victims of sexual predators become sexually active early on. We tend to think the opposite would be true but often times it isn’t.

    And ARCE, the men can say no. How come as a society we tend to think of men as “lured” and not having any responsibility in the matter?

    “The other story is that there is a way for students to get a teacher out of the classroom nearly instantly. All one has to do is to create some evidence of a relationship with the person, fake a text message or two, make a complaint and within a week or so, the teacher is gone, never to return, even if the charges get dropped or innocence is proved. It has happened here, more than once.”

    Arce, that would not work in our town. The teacher’s unions are way to strong for that. They would have to be caught in the act. It might work to get an investigation of the accusation. But fired on an accusation? No way. I have seen teachers returned to work after caught smoking pot on school property during their planning period!

    Do I think there are false allegations out there? Of course. But I also know that the larger amount of real victims are usually silent into adulthood.


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    Guys – I was writing way too late last night!

    In the case I mentioned above, both siblings are the same sex. They were both molested by the parent of the opposite sex. (Who used so-called “Biblical” justifications for doing so, as… the relevant verses re. incest in the Pentateuch do not mention father-daughter or mother-son sex.)

    In any case, as adults, one of these siblings is gay, while the other is straight. The gay sibling tried very, very hard to become straight, but that didn’t happen. They feel that, while their experience might have had some influence on their sexual preferences, that there is really NO way to know – and that their sibling strongly feels that they were always straight and that the gay sibling was always gay.

    I realize this is anecdotal, but if you start looking at twin studies (identical) and talking with people who have wrestled with this stuff, you quickly find out that orientation isn’t a mutable thing. (Which is very different than sexual fluidity, which I also believe is a very real thing – albeit not much talked about anywhere, at least in terms of what people experience personally…)


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    I agree fully that there are many unreported actual instances of abuse, some never reported and others only reported in adulthood. And I am aware that sometimes abuse results in early sexual behavior and promiscuity, as well as what most would consider aberrant sexual behavior. And I do believe that men can say no. My remark is that too many men are thinking with their testicles instead of their brain. However, I also know that it can be hard for a man to say no to an attractive female apparently of age. Most men today have not been taught sexual morality, and a bunch have only been taught the morality of “safe” sex — use of a condom.

    BTW, not fired on accusation, suspended, without pay. And never taken off suspension.


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    @ Dee: no worries!

    @ Deb: Zeller’s suicide note is one of the most disturbing things I’ve ever read. It generated quite a lot of comment and discussion earlier this year, after it was posted on a number of sites (Wired, Lifehacker.com and others).


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    I just wanted to thank all your kind wishes. I consider myself one of the lucky ones actually- God has been very merciful to me, and while I do have a few problems as a result of that experience, I am mostly fine. Thank you for taking a strong stand against sexual assault and abuse. I’ve read the statistics: 1 out of 10 high school age girls and younger, 1 out of 5 college age women, and 1 out of 4 women overall have been sexually abused. It’s truly tragic how widespread it is.


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    Anna,

    The more we shine the spotlight on sexual abuse, the more victims will be helped.

    I am encouraged that Scott Brown’s shocking revelation has inspired another sexual abuse victim to come forward. It sounds like the pedophile is still working at the camp where the abuse took place. 🙁

    http://abcnews.go.com/US/inspired-scott-brown-camper-reveals-past-sexual-abuse/story?id=13301391


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    I have to comment and say this is one of the best articles on how I believe the church should be to those struggling and hurting that I have read.


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    Debbie

    A valued compliment from a valued friend. Thank you.