Daisy wrote:

I don’t see American churches changing their obsession with marriage and married couples any time soon, unless they wake up to recent census data that upwards of 50% of US population is unMarried.

If you’re talking about people over 18 years of age, it’s about 1/2. If you’re then talking about the evangelical and even broader Christian population it’s going to be much higher as you’re now in a group that tends to exclude same sex and co-habituating couples or single parents who just decided to be so.

If you want to find an evangelical, mainline, orthodox church that isn’t made of up mostly couples (adults) you’re to have to look around a bit. Most will not be so.

As to the marriage is the only way from the pulpit, that’s still wrong.

@ RB: Hey… I was raised Lutheran (ELCA) and I’m back there now.

To be honest, it’s (generally) easier to get things dealt with in established churches with a good organizational structure (denominational, not just local).

I cannot imagine that anyone would *ever* tell someone to not call the police if they knew there was someone preying on kids in the church (where I am a member though seldom attend). The whole idea of *not* getting the proper authorities involved would be confusing to folks there at best.

Elastigirl,

I see your point but I think you misunderstand me.. The problem with all of this is these leaders have not been “walking” with the Spirit of God since the very beginning… They have done many things contrary to the Spirit of God, which is why abuse has thrived in this setting..

I am not saying they shouldn’t admit horrible behavior FIRST, in fact they should admit all the wrongs immediately.. In fact the time for that should have happened long ago… But I think they should then proceed to do what I believe people who are repenting over something like this SHOULD do.. Humble themselves before God.. Fast, Genuinely Seek God, learn to be leaders who walk by the Spirit and not by other things..and I am not talking about pageantry here, I would hope this would be more private than public,…I would hope this would be genuine/ not staged… If this becomes about accolades or a “show” for SGM, then nothing has changed..I would hope it would not be a show…

If that happens, then I see hope for SGM..But if they choose NOT to humble themselves before God and let the Spirit guide them, then I doubt much will really change for SGM.. They may admit their wrong doings and seek restitution, but apart from the guidance of the Spirit, how long before more trouble arises?

Hope that clears up what I was trying to say, which I understood to be from Mary’s comment from SGMsurvivors.. see Sopy’s comment:

@ Janey:

That article by the sociopath was really scary. At first when I started it, I thought (hoped?) it was going to be one of those “I’m a sociopath but I’m working on it” kinds of articles. But then it just kept going and I realized that she was celebrating the fact that she was a sociopath. Which, after reading her description of how sociopaths think, might be all a sociopath is capable of.

The scariest part was where she said the only reason she practiced religion was essentially to keep a respectable face. I also wondered if the boyfriend she mentioned read the article. She said right in there that she doesn’t love him. Does he know? I feel really bad for him…

@ Janey:

I have’t been to church in a couple of years. I don’t want to share all my personal information, but I can’t get out that much.

The last church I went to was pretty small. I was one of the few under age 45 people there. Most there were married. Their sign even had the phrase “We are a family church” in the title, and I’m afraid they didn’t mean “family” as in “family of God” but “we support nuclear families.”

The church I went to in the last state I lived in was big, over a 1,000 members (maybe 2,000), and most there were married.

I visited a large Baptist church in this city once and most there were married.

Every church I go to, when I am new, they always assume I am a divorced lady with kids, which really bothers me. I’ve never been married, and I’ve never had kids.

I’ve seen women on other blogs (and maybe this one too) say they’ve actually had preachers or other church people tell them on their first visit,
“You’re over 35 and single, this is a ‘family’ church, you should stop coming here. We don’t cater to older singles. You wouldn’t like it here.”

I don’t see American churches changing their obsession with marriage and married couples any time soon, unless they wake up to recent census data that upwards of 50% of US population is unMarried.

Janey wrote:

It seems that Wartburg Watch tries to emulate Jesus by pointing out hypocrisy in high places, by laughing at frauds, and by shining the spotlight at people who use religious power to steal widow’s houses, children’s innocence, people’s money, and and abuse people’s trust.

“Why did you volunteer for this?”
“I don’t like Bullies.”
– Captain America (the recent movie version)

Janey wrote:

Jesus and Paul never idolized marriage.

Both seem to have said “Marriage is good; Singleness is good.”

I’m not sure why “married-ness is next to godliness” for so many churches. It’s as if they want to give the cold shoulder to singles.

It’s called “Salvation by Marriage Alone”.
And it’s an Eleventh Commandment in a lot of churches.
Another ring of the Evangelical Circus.

elastigirl wrote:

…and by saying to those who are hurting “I see you.”

“I hear you.”

Amen and amen!

Daisy wrote:

As a never-married adult (who is barely hanging on to the Christian faith these days), I’ll never be able to top it, if I’m trying to live out the Bible’s teaching about no sex outside of marriage.

Daisy — Have you considered changing churches? It sounds as though you’re in a church where the vast majority of people are married. I don’t know where you live, but I know a lot of unmarried people who attend church plants or churches that have a younger crowd. There the imbalance is not so pronounced and the sermons don’t keep saying, “Marriage is proof of mature Christianity.” Jesus and Paul never idolized marriage. I’m not sure why “married-ness is next to godliness” for so many churches. It’s as if they want to give the cold shoulder to singles.

@ Anon 1:

“Egalitarian and complementarian are man made terms …Personally, I would rather not be identified by either label.”
***********

GO DWIGHT!!