"cbmw.org will provide you tons of good resources on this [complementarianism]. cbmw.org They have a booth here in the exhibit hall. Recovering Biblical Mahood and Womanhood, a great book you ought to read on this." – Ligon Duncan
Book Reviews
FALSE HUMILITY, TRUE HYPOCRISY: A REVIEW OF C.J. MAHANEY’S BOOK HUMILITY, True Greatness
Review of CJ Mahaney's book on Humility, which he is not!
Spiritual Abuse Recovery: Lessons Learned
“If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. Matthew 18:6 (NIV) Today is our final installment in our review of Spiritual Abuse Recovery by Dr. Barbara Orlowski. We have provided snippets of the vast wealth of knowledge within this book and urge our readers to purchase it without reservation. Yesterday found me in a bit of a funk due to a downer of a communication with a well-known megachurch pastor. We were accused of being uncharitable, neglecting 1 Corinthian 13 (I guess we are clanging a bit too much for his tastes), and even “assaulting” the character of a rather dubious Christian personage. We will be posting on our response on Friday. I spent some time in prayer. However, today, I received a fascinating, yet unsettling, phone call from a man who has just left his church due to well-documented spiritual abuse. So well documented, in fact, that we are postponing our John Piper “domestic abuse” post until next week and, on Thursday, Continue reading →
Spiritual Abuse Recovery: A Journey of Fellowship and Forgiveness
One of the greatest ironies of the history of Christianity is that its leaders constantly gave in to the temptation of power-political power, military power, economic power or moral or spiritual power-even though they continued to speak in the name of Jesus, who did not cling to His divine power but emptied Himself and became as we are. Henri Nouwen, Name of Jesus I am not in a good mood today. In some respects, the hope that springs eternal took a little header today. Today I heard from a mega-church pastor who took us to task about our uncharitable attitude towards another pastor. Although his identity will remain anonymous, we will be posting our correspondence with him in the near future. The reason that I am so dismayed is because our discussion with him focused on the issue of spiritual abuse. Once again, the issue of abuse was overlooked. It appears that the pastor’s feelings took precedence-concern for himself and other pastors. This response appeared to exhibit an utter lack of concern for those who have been harmed by poorly run ministries. But we could be wrong since, as he said, we are uncharitable and Continue reading →
Spiritual Abuse Recovery: Avoid Authority Junkies
“Clearly the person who accepts the Church as an infallible guide will believe whatever the Church teaches” St. Thomas Aquinas TWW has received a number of pointed comments recently dealing with the subject of church polity. In particular, it appears folks are trying to define how a church body should structure its governance to avoid abuse and encourage unity. Several commenters have made the valid point that it is often the intent of the individuals involved that prevent abuse. This means that every form of governance is equally likely to cause abuse if the individuals involved are hyperauthoritarian. That being the case, should we just throw our hands up in the air and bag the discussion altogether. Are there no guidelines that might make a church less likely to abuse? A Tale of Two Pastors Let me tell you a true story of a wonderful pastor who made a decision to proceed with an action that was entirely appropriate. However, the correct action was not handled in a judicious manner. My husband and I were aware that this could be misperceived by many people and cause problems for the church. So, we approached the Continue reading →
Spiritual Abuse Resources on the World Wide Web
“A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves." Bertrand de Jouvenel We ended yesterday’s post by recommending four excellent books on Spiritual Abuse and Recovery, which we have personally read. Now let’s take a look at some of the outstanding resources available on the internet. It’s obvious from just a Google search that spiritual abuse is a HUGE problem. Jeff Van Vonderen’s website Jeff Van Vonderen, who co-wrote The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, has created a website to help those who have been spiritually abused. You can find it here. He begins by defining Spiritual Abuse. “Spiritual Abuse (spir’-i-choo-el a-byoos’). Wouldn’t it be great if it was as simple as looking it up in a dictionary? But nothing about spiritual abuse is simple. Those who have experienced it, know it is powerful enough to cause them to question their relationship with God, indeed, the very existence of God. And it is subtle too! The perpetrators of spiritual abuse are rarely ‘Snidely Whiplash’ sorts of characters who announce that they are going to drain your spiritual energy. They may be people who seem like they are seeking to guide you Continue reading →
Sovereign Grace Ministries and the SBC – Is There a Merger in the Works?
"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one." -C.S. Lewis We are continuing our series on Spiritual Abuse Recovery, which has been inspired by Barbara Orlowski’s groundbreaking book on this topic. Orlowski affirms: (p. 19) Based on our research here at TWW, we believe spiritual abuse is escalating in the 21st century. Here is a case in point. I follow the SGM Refuge blog, and over the weekend a young man (probably in his mid-twenties) who goes by the moniker “ByFaithAlone” posted his incredible testimony, which can be accessed here. “ByFaithAlone” was introduced to a “reformed, conservative fundamentalist church” in Vermont by the guy who had been his college roommate. Apparently, this church is “associated with SGM”. Hmmm……… Mohler’s Favorite Homie – C.J. Mahaney Yes, the SBC/SGM connection is getting stronger by the day. Need proof? Guess who delivered the chapel message at Southern Seminary just last Thursday (2/10/11). Here’s a hint… It was the person who believes Al Mohler is “the smartest man on the planet” and said so at Resolved 2010. Yes, Continue reading →
Avoid Spiritual Abuse By Avoiding The Moses Syndrome
"Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point." CS Lewis All quotes are taken from the book unless otherwise specified. We highly recommend that you purchase this landmark book. TWW has written about pastors who speak most derogatorily about their members. Here are some things I have heard members have been called by their pastors: sociopaths, narcissistic zeroes, nobodies, my kids, my boys, etc.. One of the points that we have consistently made is that there are many pastors who seem to spend the bulk of their time running around the world giving lectures, “encouraging” other pastors, and writing books. They buzz in for their Sunday sermon and are off again to bigger and better things. We received several messages from members/elders of these churches claiming that they hired their pastors to do exactly what they are doing. What? They hired a guy, paid him very well, and he gives relatively little time in service to the church? I have tried to understand this concept. Is he a pastor or a celebrity? In fact, it is my opinion that many conflicts happen in these churches because Continue reading →
Spiritual Abuse Recovery: Blogs Are a Key Resource
36% of subjects in Orlowski's study said that it was essential to participate in blogs to assist in recovery from spiritual abuse (p.172) True confession: I love to read the acknowledgment page in books. I particularly enjoy reading about the people who assisted and supported an author in the writing of a book. In order to find subjects for her study, Barbara Orlowski contacted blogs that focused on the myriad of issues that involve spiritual abuse. On the acknowledgement page of Spiritual Abuse Recovery, she lists, and thanks, no less than 29 blogs for their assistance. 29 blogs which discuss spiritual abuse?!! Good night! What is even more surprising is that none of the blogs, with which we at TWW are currently familiar, are listed. This could mean that, since Orlowski’s research was completed, the problem of spiritual abuse is either growing, becoming more well known, or being talked about more openly. Another factor that may be contributing to the growth of this phenomenon is that more people are becoming Internet savvy and are willing to brave the technology to start blogs. That is certainly the case for your technopeasant, yet always glamorous, Continue reading →
Spiritual Abuse Recovery-Research by Dr. Barbara Orlowski
"… nearly four out of every ten non-churchgoing Americans (37%) said they avoid churches because of negative past experiences in churches or with church people." Barna Research "For many, leaving the community comes after chronic mistreatment (abuse), misuse of spiritual authority from the church leadership. Feeling ashamed, abandoned, and with no community to support them, most individuals never have the opportunity to tell their story. Therefore, the rest of the congregation simply believes that these individuals have fallen from grace." Tami Brady-review on Amazon.com I am grateful for my brush with spiritual abuse. This is certainly a strange thing to say. Yet, without such an experience, I could not be in a position to write this blog. As I have said before, about 75% of my Christian walk was spent in excellent churches with humble pastors, great elders and thoughtful teaching. Oh, I had a brush or two with some rigid folks, but I thought they were far outliers on a standard bell curve of great and medium good Christian churches. Had I not experienced the bad and the ugly, I would have thought that most people, who complained about horrible churches, were whiners Continue reading →
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