Hannah-Kate Williams Sues a Number of SBC Entities for Covering Up Her Sex Abuse

Sun over the Earth; NASA/ISS

Christ never intended to cover up the dark side of life, but rather to illuminate a path through it.Dan B. Allender


I have decided that the month of August and the first week of September passed by in a blur: my mom’s hospitalization, Abby’s wedding, and a wonderful but intensive trip. I’m slowly catching up. So much is going on, especially in the SBC and their sex abuse task force. Prepare for excitement.


Hannah-Kate Williams sues a myriad of SBC institutions, claiming there was a conspiracy to cover up sexual abuse.

Roys Report posted Hannah-Kate Williams Sues SBC Leaders, Alleging Sex Abuse Failures

Williams filed suit against a wide array of Southern Baptist institutions and leaders, including The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky, where her father, James Williams, once worked; Lifeway Christian Resources; the SBC Executive Committee; and committee members Mike Stone and Rod Martin.

The complaint, which also names her father as a defendant, alleges that church leaders failed to investigate Hannah-Kate Williams’ reports. It also says they defamed her as a liar and “conspired to protect the Baptist denomination from a problem of sexual abuse of minors or other vulnerable populations.”

the complaint also cites leaked letters written by Russell Moore, former head of the SBC’s Ethics and Religion Liberty Commission, including one to then-SBC President J.D. Greear. The letter tells of Moore’s disappointment in the SBC for silencing victims and covering up misconduct.

So what was in those leaked letters from Russell Moore?

These leaked letters were featured in Religion News: Russell Moore to ERLC trustees: ‘They want me to live in psychological terror’ The following is part of that letter

As you know, our last ERLC National Conference was built around the issues of sexual abuse. We said from the beginning that we wanted a place for honest dialogue around these issues, and we would not police anyone from speaking what he or she had experienced or thought. At least one speaker harshly criticized us for not doing enough, or not handling things the way he thought we should. I welcomed that criticism. I learned from it, and was glad that the speaker felt the freedom to do so. At that conference, though, Rachael Denhollender participated with me in a conversation where, again, I refused to censor or stop anything that she had to say. In that conversation, she spoke about her thoughts about the disparagement and poor treatment of a sexual abuse survivor by Executive Committee staff. The story Rachael told is accurate, and Maria and I know that because we were, even during that very meeting, ministering alongside others to that mistreated young woman.

…This enraged some Executive Committee trustee leadership, who communicated that they were incensed that we would allow such a story to be told. That was communicated with special outrage since the Executive Committee had contributed some money to Caring Well as a reason why we should not have allowed this story to be told. I came away from these conversations with the distinct feeling that I was being told (not from Ronnie Floyd, but from sectors of his trustees, mostly the very sector from which this latest action has come), “You’ve got a nice little Commission there; would be a shame if something happened to it.” I told Maria that at the time. It was, and is, chilling — especially seeing what they had in mind to do under cover of darkness.

You can read the rest of the letter at the Religion News link above.

Williams’s suit alleges widespread coverup of sex abuse in the SBC amongst a diverse group of entities.

Baptist News Global posted New lawsuit accuses SBC Executive Committee, Southern Seminary, Lifeway and others of ‘conspiracy’ to cover up sexual abuse claims.

The suit, filed in Kentucky’s Franklin Circuit Court Aug. 16, is brought by Hannah Kate Williams, who has been an outspoken advocate for the SBC to address problems of sexual abuse in churches. Her work contributed to a decision by convention messengers in June to name a special task force to investigate the SBC Executive Committee’s handling of sexual abuse claims.

Williams alleges that 12 named defendants “have engaged in a defamatory conspiracy to marginalize and negate her advocacy in the perverted and un-Christian desperate hope that the denomination can skirt its own culpability in the damage inflicted” upon Williams by her father, James Ray Williams.

…Her claim is linked to letters from Russell Moore, former head of the SBC Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission, that became public just before the SBC annual meeting in June and that document some SBC leaders attempting to discredit and silence claims of sexual abuse. Based on Moore’s documentation, the suit alleges, it is likely that Williams was one of those the SBC leaders were seeking to discredit or silence.

This also fits a pattern, she alleges, of other prominent leaders, including staff members at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and elected members of the SBC Executive Committee, engaging in a “conspiracy to silence her or frame her as a liar, charlatan or crazy person.”

Hannah-Kate describes her own abuse at the hands of her father who worked at a Lifeway store and attended Southern Seminary.

According to the Roys Report:

According to the complaint, the alleged abuse started when Hannah-Kate Williams was 4 or 5 years old and continued until she first left home at 16.

…Hannah-Kate Williams said she was 8 years old the first time she recalls reporting abuse, contacting Southern Baptist church staff where she was living in Kingston, Tennessee, and describing what she alleges her father had done to her.

…In these conversations, Williams said, she described how her father had repeatedly raped and physically abused her. She described how she dreaded going to sleep, terrified her father would crawl into bed with her.

Their general response? “‘I’m praying for you,’” she recalled. “They wanted nothing to do with this situation.”

Al Mohler acknowledges he knew of the investigation of James Williams when he was a student.

Mohler has said in a tweet that his seminary “is aware of this investigation of James R. Williams, a student some years ago.” It added: “We encourage everyone to cooperate fully in this investigation. This is important and if you know anything, you must come forward.”

I believe that Hannah-Kate’s lawsuit strikes fear into the heart of the SBC

Her lawsuit implicates a wide variety of SBC institutions and leadership. I believe that Hannah-Kate was just one more child in the SBC who was treated poorly. Will it be found that she notified a number of SBC leaders and organizations about her abuse and they did nothing?  Or even worse, they did something. They abused her with their words, leaving her and her family to suffer silently.

That silence is over. It is time for the SBC to take it on the chin for the many years that sex abuse was denied and covered up. I hope Williams prevails in the lawsuit. It was a long time in coming.

Comments

Hannah-Kate Williams Sues a Number of SBC Entities for Covering Up Her Sex Abuse — 93 Comments

  1. If some ‘leaders’ in the Church (the whole Church) feel ‘shamed’ when the truth of the abuse of innocents comes out,
    that is no reason for them to try to make people ‘keep quiet’, and to try to cover up the truth.

    Thank God for all those who work to shine a light on abusers and to try to bring them to justice before they can hurt other innocent people. This blog is a kind of ‘ministry’ in the Church that likely over time has and will give voice to those who were abused and, in doing so, help them to begin the healing process in as much as is possible for them to heal.

    This, I found to be a frightening letter to read:

    https://religionnews.com/2021/06/02/russell-moore-to-erlc-trustees-they-want-me-to-live-in-psychological-terror/

  2. That was communicated with special outrage since the Executive Committee had contributed some money to Caring Well as a reason why we should not have allowed this story to be told.

    The ExecComm thought of the contributions as HUSH MONEY?
    Or Just “One Hand Washes the Other”?
    Or Caring Well just didn’t stay bought?

  3. I have some experience with Southern Boys Club members covering for one of their own, though it doesn’t rise to the heinous levels others have experienced. At the time I was shocked and confused since it was the first time I experienced the SBC mindset. Since then I’ve learned this is normal behavior on their part. God help those who go into Christian ministry with stars in their eyes thinking they’re engaged in some grand endeavor for Christ.

  4. SMull: it doesn’t rise to the heinous levels

    Or, sink low to heinous levels …

    A preacher violating his own daughter … as low as it goes.

    There’s that sports broadcaster rock star who violates his daughter & allegedly murdered his son who was attempting to rescue the daughter while the monster predator’s church backs him, the predator …

    Church sheltering predators. Hunting ground. Predator haven.

    (The opposite of the DV family victims shelters. Sheltering victims vs. sheltering predators. Good vs evil. Where does a church place itself, is the question. Gotta be money driven. Predators are the donors. Churches run on money. Business as usual.)

  5. Ava Aaronson: There’s that sports broadcaster rock star who violates his daughter & allegedly murdered his son who was attempting to rescue the daughter while the monster predator’s church backs him, the predator …

    Moreover, the predator is cease-and-desisting the blogger who wrote about this case, and threatening to sue.

    Furthermore: Another case TWW covered, another lawsuit of predator serving to victim with the church supporting the predator:
    Dr. Kara M. Million, Mother of Darters @darterdancer 9.12.2021
    “Happy Sunday. The Central Indiana Presbytery has officially decided that it is okay for Dan Herron to sue me for coming forward about his abuse even though Dan has explicitly stated his reason for suing me was to silence my testimony in his church trial. Praise be.”

    As Max would say: Manipulation, Intimidation, Domination. The authoritarian predation – might is right so I get what I want – of others via god, theology, church.

  6. drstevej:
    1

    God bless and protect and bring respect, resolution, and dignity to her…this precious broken lady who is the topic of this post.

    (I read somewhere that the 1st are actually last, dr. I wonder what that means.)

  7. “That silence is over. It is time for the SBC to take it on the chin for the many years that sex abuse was denied and covered up.”
    +++++++++++

    i think they should take it in a different part of their anatomy.

  8. drstevej: Try reading in context>

    I think jojo knows – to make it a nudge as opposed to an ad hominem, the question was rhetorically framed about that “1” thing that persists in the TWW comment section.

  9. From the linked The Roys Report in the OP:

    “A particularly despicable form given that Williams was studying to be a Christian pastor was that he would ’baptize’ the Plaintiff as a form of punishment. Williams would fill up the bathtub, place the Plaintiff on her back, and forcibly submerge her while telling her that her ‘sin’ meant she needed to be baptized again,” the complaint alleges.

    When I read this in The Roys Repot last night, I thought, “And she STILL [as an adult] went to the church for help?”

    (And I could imagine how the “bathtub baptisms” might have traumatized her.)

    Then, this morning, I read this in the linked Baptist News Global in the OP:

    According to the lawsuit, Williams first reported her abuse to a Southern Seminary employee in the summer of 2003. She and a brother were attending a “Kidsfit” physical education class at the seminary’s recreation center. The unnamed employee leading the class could not persuade Williams and her brother to participate in an aquatic activity in the center’s large swimming pool.

    “When asked why, the plaintiff responded she did not want to get baptized,” the lawsuit explains. “The Kidsfit instructor asked what she meant, and plaintiff described what her father did to them as punishment involved a bathtub and was called baptism.” She also reported to the instructor that her father touched her inappropriately.

    When I had read about the “bathtub baptisms” (in the The Roys Report) last night, I hadn’t even considered how the “bathtub baptisms” might affect things like swimming (aquatic activities).

  10. christiane: If some ‘leaders’ in the Church (the whole Church) feel ‘shamed’ when the truth of the abuse of innocents comes out,
    that is no reason for them to try to make people ‘keep quiet’, and to try to cover up the truth.

    I honestly think they would be much better off politically if they just stopped protecting the offenders. Some of these guys are not worth their protection. But sadly, I can’t help but think they really believe that it’s not morally wrong. They think men can’t help themselves when “tempted”. They think pastors should be treated like a protected class, no matter how badly they act. They even think women and children deserve to be abused. I have heard New Calvinists say that out loud.

  11. ishy: They even think women and children deserve to be abused. I have heard New Calvinists say that out loud.

    Well, when their god is a cruel and petulant tyrant, is it any wonder why they believe that he ‘ordained’ the abuse from the foundation of the world?

  12. I do believe revival is first preceded by a truly awful time of deep cleansing of the church.

    Looks like the SBC could be headed for that deep cleansing. Praying for them to also get the revival following!

  13. Elastigirl: “i think they should take it in a different part of their anatomy.”

    *******

    I know you think you’re being clever, but what you’re advocating is sexual assault. I would hope that in this community, that would be a red line – even where the “desired” victim is a perpetrator. Otherwise, you’re no different than the New Calvinists who apparently feel some people deserve to be abused…. you just have different negotiating positions as to price.

  14. Ava Aaronson: ishy: They think men can’t help themselves when “tempted”.

    Or, men are entitled to help themselves to whatever their superior nature desires.

    Just like the Taliban and Global Caliphate of ISIS.

  15. researcher: When I had read about the “bathtub baptisms” (in the The Roys Report) last night, I hadn’t even considered how the “bathtub baptisms” might affect things like swimming (aquatic activities).

    Those weren’t baptisms, they were Attempted Drownings.
    Or really putting the Water in Waterboarding.

    And once almost drowned repeatedly, I’d be surprised if she DIDN’T end up with a PTSD phobia about aquatic activities. Or anything aquatic.

  16. Ava Aaronson: Furthermore: Another case TWW covered, another lawsuit of predator serving to victim with the church supporting the predator:

    Remember Boz T?
    How in all his years as a prosecutor specializing in child sexual abuse cases, he NEVER saw a church take the side of the victim? Every Single One “RALLY ROUND THE PREDATOR, BOYS!” because Bible?

  17. Ava Aaronson: A preacher violating his own daughter … as low as it goes.

    REVEREND Craster of Craster’s Keep Fellowshio.
    (Game of Thrones reference)

  18. OK EVERYONE.

    We have a growing number of people posting under multiple names. Some are doing it to be cute. Others may be doing it to look like more than one person supports a certain position. Others, well, who knows.

    This is against our rules. It slows things down. And it ties up the time of our highly UNPAID staff.

    STOP IT OR YOUR COMMENTS WILL BE TOSSED.

    GBTC

  19. Muff Potter: Well, when their god is a cruel and petulant tyrant,

    The one who does not know that forgiving a debt and demanding payment for a debt are mutually exclusive?

  20. d4v1d: I think jojo knows – to make it a nudge as opposed to an ad hominem, the question was rhetorically framed about that “1” thing that persists in the TWW comment section.

    Correct. Thanks. I do try to let it go and will continue to try. This post…I couldn’t.

    (There are times I wish I had never stumbled upon this site, but I have learned so much from the research, writing, and comments. I keep checking it.)

  21. Headless Unicorn Guy: How in all his years as a prosecutor specializing in child sexual abuse cases, he NEVER saw a church take the side of the victim? Every Single One “RALLY ROUND THE PREDATOR, BOYS!” because Bible?

    Which indicates how off the church is, was (good ole days is a myth, IMHO), and will be until churches deal with predation in church.

    Pulleaze, let’s not blame the Bible. In the wrong hands, some Bible verses are deadly. So everybody read the whole thing for yourself. Cut out the middleman, especially the one in the pulpit. Go direct with God and prayer and His word. Keep men & the Bible at bay.

  22. jojo,

    jojo, you are not alone on this. We all do the same … let it go. Ignore. Move on. One person’s heart-wrenching crass is another person’s heartwarming cute. Different POVs.

    I was listening to John Grisham’s “Camino Winds” where a woman at a dinner party cracked a joke about gang rape. Low, IMHO, and I like reading Grisham. Then someone on youtube made a crack about suicide, and again, I felt that was totally uncalled-for but apparently they didn’t think so. Ouch. But no one meant any harm.

    Tough discourse. Different sensitivities.

  23. linda: Looks like the SBC could be headed for that deep cleansing. Praying for them to also get the revival following!

    I’ve been involved in one SBC church or another all of my life (up until Feb., 2016). I became a member of an SBC church in 1978. SBCer’s whine that people keep leaving the churches. Maybe we are leaving SBC churches, because the SBC has been leaving the Church for the past 40 years ….. or more.

  24. Ava Aaronson: jojo, you are not alone on this. We all do the same … let it go. Ignore. Move on. One person’s heart-wrenching crass is another person’s heartwarming cute. Different POVs.

    I fail to see how dr. steve’s ‘1’ in the comment box is in any way crass or disrespectful to the abused. To claim that it is, is like trying to make Everest out of a mole hill.

  25. Nancy2(aka Kevlar): SBCer’s whine that people keep leaving the churches.

    This somehow reminds me of reports I’ve been reading about how since the job markets opened back up why haven’t the low-paid no-respect offerings been snapped up by the people who had time to consider whether that’s the way they want to spend their career? A little distance can be illuminating, especially in matters of religious belief. Why serve a God who belittles and lies when the Bible offers an alternative interpretation? He is no respecter of persons. All who believe in the Son may come. How much more straightforward could it be?

  26. Muff Potter: fail to see

    I hear you. Which is why moving on works for me.

    When someone pops up with another POV, I want them to know that they are not the only one with feelings and moving past them. Every once in a while this happens. Probably more often than we know.

    John Grisham said in Court he walked right past the 20 something white guy who violently raped a 12 yr old black girl, felt for a moment what her dad felt, and 300 million books in 50 languages later, that was the spark. Powerlessness facing incredible evil is a powerful feeling and may spark something unexplainable.

    These cases of men of evil posing as men of God while they violate children, even their own, is as low, as evil, as it gets. The women collaborators, the same (Ghislaine Maxwell).

    Perhaps in that context, there are no mole hills, only Everests. Context. For some. Not everyone. Different points of view.

  27. Ava Aaronson: In the wrong hands, some Bible verses are deadly.

    This recent TGC article is a perfect example:
    https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/kevin-deyoung/what-does-it-mean-to-weep-with-those-who-weep/

    “Weep with those who weep” does not dictate that the reasons for our weeping can never be mistaken. In short, the verse must mean something like “weep with those who have good, biblical reason to be weeping.”

    These people turn good news into bad news.

  28. Muff Potter: dr. steve’s ‘1’ in the comment

    Perhaps I’m an oddity….I like to see drstevej’s “1” comment…and even more so during the pandemic….it lets me know he is still alive.

    (Although I can kinda-sorta understand jojo’s point of view….even though I can’t really relate to it.)

  29. Headless Unicorn Guy: Those weren’t baptisms, they were Attempted Drownings….And once almost drowned repeatedly, I’d be surprised if she DIDN’T end up with a PTSD phobia about aquatic activities. Or anything aquatic.

    I thought about the drowning aspect a bit later, and I agree with you about the PTSD. It’s kinda like the more I thought about the “bathtub baptisms”-aquatic activity scenarios, the more I realized the potential areas of her life that might be affected.

  30. researcher: (Although I can kinda-sorta understand jojo’s point of view….even though I can’t really relate to it.)

    I’ll be honest, I referred a friend to the site and they never came back because they saw that comment and was immediately turned off. The post was really serious and I feel like it doesn’t acknowledge some of these serious topics. Us oldbies are used to it, but it does cause people to refuse to read more. I also feel like the insistence on continuing it after people have said it upsets them is kinda insensitive. It’s like those people who say “But it’s just a joke” when the other person isn’t laughing.

  31. My view concerning “1” for what it is worth, is that it bothers women on this site. Women have stated that it trivializes what is being discussed, often sexual assault. I feel as a Christian man that they should be heard, isn’t it ironic that we as Wartburgers do what we complain others don’t , really listen to women? I have noticed that 99.9% of the time it is the men doing this so that alone should tell us something.
    While sexual assault should trouble us all, women have bore the burnt of it so if it bothers them enough to mention it , I am not going to do it. It’s a matter of plain respect. Several women on this site to me have told the other women to just ignore it , why? Isn’t that akin to the lady that tells the other woman “ honey, that’s just the way he is, just ignore him” when it comes to sexual harassment. Maybe as a compromise , just do the number one when it doesn’t deal with sexual assault.

  32. TWW commenters have goodwill, an interest in learning about abuse in churches, and a desire to prevent further abuse.

    Those are rare qualities.

    TWW hosts an amazing range of theological viewpoints. It’s a miracle that we can come together here to talk about a grave problem. We would not meet up in real life, even if we all happened to be in the same town.

  33. As a web support person, I recognize that the “1” comment may be to verify that the post actually did post. When you’re on the other side of the “curtain” you may think things get published that for some reason get hung up. Maybe if that’s the case, something else can be used instead of “1”.

  34. I am counting 12 comments about the first comment… including my own above.

    This will be the 13th.

    What are we trying to achieve.

  35. A key concept in investigating sexual abuse is the ability to separate the incidental from the intentional.

    Getting hung up on “1”‘s distracts from dealing with the substantive damage being done.

    Let my “1”‘s remind you of this.

  36. Muff Potter: I fail to see how dr. steve’s ‘1’ in the comment box is in any way crass or disrespectful to the abused.

    More like “Trivializing”.

    Or “The Social Media-zation of TWW”, turning the subject of Clergy Sexual Abuse and Church Corruption into a Twitter Tweet-Fest of “LOOK! I MADE A POOPIE! STEVIE WAVES! STEVIE WAVES! STEVIE WAVES!”

  37. I have to admit I was turned off by the “1” thing when I first started viewing this blog quite a while back. It seemed like another pissing contest.

  38. Ava Aaronson: Pulleaze, let’s not blame the Bible. In the wrong hands, some Bible verses are deadly. So everybody read the whole thing for yourself. Cut out the middleman, especially the one in the pulpit. Go direct with God and prayer and His word. Keep men & the Bible at bay.

    Excellent advice!
    I especially like the bit about cutting out the middleman.

  39. drstevej: Getting hung up on “1”‘s distracts from dealing with the substantive damage being done.

    Let my “1”‘s remind you of this.

    This makes no sense. And it seems like you are continuing to trivialize the feelings of the people who are uncomfortable with it. Are you not “hung up” on posting “1”? Is that not distracting in itself?

  40. ChuckP: Several women on this site to me have told the other women to just ignore it , why? Isn’t that akin to the lady that tells the other woman “ honey, that’s just the way he is, just ignore him” when it comes to sexual harassment.

    Hi Chuck!
    I appreciate your comment and respect the concerns of “newbies” to TWW, but that’s not it at all. I’ve been reading TWW for a while now, as have a few others, and we know how the number 1, etc. started. Its not a form of disrespect, or a symptom of a lackadaisical, sexist and attitude.

    It began when Dee was pleasantly surprised at how quickly some of us would comment to her newly posted articles, at the close attention we give her stories. Dee would say something like: **Wow, that was fast….you deserve a medal for being number 1,**. There have been times when several of us have jumped in on the placement of our comments, maybe even up to “Am I 10th or 11th?” And, Dee has even posted a few funny articles, poking fun at certain, ahem, religious practices, just to relieve the tension. (BTW, Dee….. aren’t we overdue there???).

    drstevej is a very dedicated follower of TWW and supporter of those who have been abused or mistreated. I do believe he has waited with baited breath for every TWW post for several years, now.

    I hope this explanation helps you and jojo, as well as others, understand why steve still does that. I guess it’s sort of a tradition now. That’s really all there is to it.

  41. Nancy(aka Kevlar): drstevej is a very dedicated follower of TWW and supporter of those who have been abused or mistreated. I do believe he has waited with baited breath for every TWW post for several years, now.

    I hope this explanation helps you and jojo, as well as others, understand why steve still does that. I guess it’s sort of a tradition now. That’s really all there is to it.

    Yes, indeed, Well said. Thanks.

  42. researcher,

    I’m trying to understand what is wrong with putting the number 1 also.

    What WAS ‘the point’? Who was offended? Is there some kind of code/meaning to that number that we dummies (moi) don’t know about?

    When things don’t make any sense, you wonder what everyone ‘got’ that you didn’t ‘see’.

    But most importantly, what does the complaint have to do with the post?
    There must be something that really upset someone.

    ?

  43. Dee said, “ That silence is over. It is time for the SBC to take it on the chin for the many years that sex abuse was denied and covered up. I hope Williams prevails in the lawsuit. It was a long time in coming.”

    I say Amen, and bless Williams for the courage to do what she is doing. May everything she going through and contending with make her stronger

  44. To Hannah-Kate: I pray you will receive all that you need. Many, many care and hope that you can ‘heal’…. whatever that might mean for you in your situation. Don’t give up.

    (Regarding the ‘1’ discussion: it took focus away, and that was not my intent. It never is when I lack self-control and react to the ‘1.’ Your understanding comments and support of me, and for others, are appreciated. A want/need for a ‘1’ shall forever escape me.)

    Thank you.

  45. christiane: researcher,

    I’m trying to understand what is wrong with putting the number 1 also.

    What WAS ‘the point’? Who was offended? Is there some kind of code/meaning to that number that we dummies (moi) don’t know about

    The concerns expressed weren’t necessarily vituperative (love that word, and I don’t feel offended by someone posting a 1. That’s their choice. But don’t you think you’re being a bit dismissive? Okay, I won’t say anything else about it.

  46. jojo,

    “A want/need for a ‘1’ shall forever escape me”
    +++++++++++

    consider it anticipating getting together with friends for an in-depth intelligent conversation about things that matter, and leaving early so as to arrive first. and that feels good.

  47. elastigirl: consider it anticipating getting together with friends for an in-depth intelligent conversation about things that matter, and leaving early so as to arrive first. and that feels good.

    That. 🙂

  48. For what it is worth: when I speak of deep cleansing for the church before revival breaks out, I do not mean people like Dee, or me, or Max, or others who finally got enough of one particular group (SBC) and left.

    I mean the SBC surely needs revival (along with a host of others). And it will not get there without a truly awful deep cleaning. A whole lot of this abuse/coverup/affairs/adultery/money fraud/manipulating or whatever else has been done that was wrong is going to have to come to light and be dealt with. That is going to be VERY painful.

    I have witnessed it twice in SBC churches in over 50 years as a believer, and once before I was saved. That time it was a pastor and a church lady having an affair. The next time it was a deacon and his daughter in law having an affair. The third time it was not so spectacular, just a lot of sour attitudes and “happy being just our little church while people die and go to hell all around us attitude.” The first time the preacher was fired, the second one the couple in question repented and cleaned up their act, and the third time it just seemed like if anything could go wrong in any of our lives, it did.

    All were embarrassing. All were painful. And all brought us to our knees, and all resulted the church cleaning up its act AND a super spectacular number of those conversions where people get saved, quit whining about their hangups, and change their lives in very meaningful ways. Or maybe to say it better, where God got a hold of their souls and the Holy Spirit turned them inside out after He got done doing that to the church.

    True for addictions, true for the church: you are only as sick as your secrets.

    Lets pray for secrets to see the light of day and cleansing fresh air, be dealt with, and be cleaned up. And lets pray that turns a super spectacular number of people to repentance for sin and faith in Jesus.

    Whether or not they ever set foot in a church building seems a moot point during a pandemic.

  49. elastigirl: consider it anticipating getting together with friends for an in-depth intelligent conversation about things that matter, and leaving early so as to arrive first. and that feels good.

    Well put, concise and succinct, without 3,000 useless words.

  50. elastigirl: consider it anticipating getting together with friends for an in-depth intelligent conversation about things that matter, and leaving early so as to arrive first. and that feels good.

    Brand new people have left and never come back because people are so dismissive about this. They have a right to feel the way they feel and nobody should tell them what they should feel. That’s exactly what happens in the situations we talk about here. I think what ChuckP said earlier was exactly what I’ve seen in this thread.

    I have decided that I will not be coming back for awhile.

  51. ishy,

    i’ll miss you so very much.

    i’m sure i didn’t phrase my comment well — i don’t mean to tell anyone how to feel…

    on a few occasions i also did the number thing, in my own cryptic way (but no longer). i was simply happy to have arrived with friends.

    it’s a description of what i was feeling.

    but i’m truly sorry it’s been hurtful for others — who are much more important than anything else in this equation.

    the very last thing i want to do is alienate or do something hurtful or destructive by any degree to another human being.

    anyway, i hope you reconsider, ishy.

    we all benefit from and learn from your perspective and how you write it.

  52. TWW is one of the most supportive and sensitive comment groups I have seen in the blogosphere. There’s no name calling, baiting, trolling, or ridicule. At the other extreme, on other comment boards, the “harmony” is enforced by deleting any hint of disagreement.

    This group’s participants have so many different beliefs, backgrounds, and experiences. Many of us have survived different forms of abuse and mistreatment. Sometimes disagreements show up, but folks handle them with civility here. Participation is voluntary, but I hope we can all heal up and keep conversing.

  53. Think > Speak,

    i was really just thinking of the quickest way to diffuse a threatening situation from an aggressor who is bigger and stronger.

    wherever the vulnerability is.

  54. Think > Speak: I know you think you’re being clever, but what you’re advocating is sexual assault.

    Really?
    So it can’t just be a plain old American euphemism with no assault connotations?
    Please re-read elastigirl’s comment and you’ll see that there are no sexual assault connotations either real or implied.

  55. Think > Speak: I know you think you’re being clever, but what you’re advocating is sexual assault.

    How was it worse than what Paul wrote in Gal 5:12″
    “I wish those who are disturbing you might also get themselves castrated!” Was Paul wrong to write this?

  56. Ava Aaronson,

    Very wise comment, Ava. Your comment makes a lot of sense to me.

    That which triggers ‘presenting behaviors’ in one individual will often be different from the next person, as we all carry different kinds of baggage around in this life, and no one’s upset should ever be ‘dismissed’ as unimportant. So much better not to judge that which may not be easily understood. We all have our moments and our bad days and some prompts trigger our pain in ways not even we can understand ourselves.