“Peeing Pastor” Daniel Chalmers Resigns From “Catch The Fire Raleigh” Church

Updated on 11-5-2020.

During a November 1, 2020 church service “Catch The Fire Raleigh” church co-pastors Murray and Ash Smith revealed to their congregation that Daniel Chalmers and his wife, Shara, had tendered their resignations on October 27, 2020, and were no longer on staff. Murray Smith seemed a bit “pissed” that the Chalmers had not seen fit to inform church leaders that Daniel was the pastor who had been taken into custody and charged with urinating on Alicia Beverly, a fellow passenger on a Delta Airlines red-eye flight from Las Vegas to Detroit. The flight arrived in Detroit on October 13th. Two weeks later, knowing that the story was going to break and Daniel Chalmers would be named as the “Peeing Pastor” the Chalmers sent an email to the Smiths!

Pastor Murray Smith stated that “They’re (the Chalmers) planning to take a prolonged season of healing, of restoration, of coming out of any ministry. They’re seeking to do that under the leadership of one of their close mentors and we as a church support that decision.”

Really?  The church, by which I gather Smith means the church leadership because he was in the middle of announcing this to the church, supports the decision?  I assume the “restoration” of the Chalmers means that at some point they will be back in their preaching and prophesying “ministry.” One wonders what a guy must do in order to be permanently disqualified for “ministry.”  But hey, this is the world of crazy Charismatics, where it seems anything goes.

A few points concerning the above video. Murray Smith commits the classic sin-leveling maneuver by trotting out the story of the woman caught in adultery from John 8. We all have sin in our hearts, right? So don’t judge or gossip or listen to rumors. But there really aren’t any rumors in this urination incident, are there? Daniel Chalmers was caught with his pants down, so to speak. He admitted to urinating on Alicia Beverly, his blood alcohol was at .175 several hours after the incident, he was charged with a crime and a lawsuit has been filed against him. I think any adult of sound mind can make a judgment that based on these facts, Daniel Chalmers should be permanently disqualified from ministry

Women were second-class citizens in Israel at that time Christ walked the earth. He knew the religious leaders were merely attempting to trap him. Christ showed grace and mercy to the woman. The hypocritical religious leaders were treated totally different by Christ.

“What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs—beautiful on the outside but filled on the inside with dead people’s bones and all sorts of impurity.” -Matthew 23:27 NLT

Daniel Chalmers is a member of the hypocritical religious class that Christ railed against.

You may have noticed that Pastor Murray Smith failed to mention that Daniel Chalmers was totally “pissed,” as the Brits would say. He was totally plastered, drunk, inebriated. Several hours after Chalmers urinated on Alicia Beverly he was tested for blood-alcohol-content and his test showed a .175! This is more than twice the legally drunk level of .08. Pastor Smith does mention that Chalmers was not on church business, but conveniently fails to mention that Chalmers was on a flight from Las Vegas. I guess what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, right Pastor Smith?  You don’t want to be gossiping.

Another item Pastor Smith failed to mention is Chalmers allegedly touched Alicia Beverly in a sexual manner without permission.  Whatever! Minor details, the “church” supports restoration.

And then, of course, note how church leadership attempts to do damage control. They suggest the healthy way to handle this scandal is for those who have questions to go directly to God with them, or church leadership, but to avoid talking to other people.  I suggest the healthy thing to do would be to run from that church as fast as you can! I have seen this act before and it doesn’t end well.


Below is a screenshot of the original statement published by Catch the Fire church. They were quick to mention the perp was a non-Pastor employee, but failed to mention Chalmers by name. I guess maybe that would be gossip?  You will notice I included a comment on the Facebook post by none other than Dee of the Wartburg Watch. There were not many comments expressing any concern for Alicia Beverly. It would appear that the Smiths did take note of what Dee said because when they spoke to their congregation they did a good job of expressing concern and praying for Alicia Beverly.

While I don’t question the fact that the Chalmers were not hired as part of the pastoral team at Catch the Fire Church, there is no question that they were involved in some teaching while on staff.  (See the post above.) They also were “preaching and prophesying” at the church prior to being employed.

One has to wonder what happened to the spiritual covering the Chalmers had over them. This is an all-star lineup in the crazy Charismatic world.

Ever heard of the 7 mountains of society? Me either. I have been out of the Charismatic world since the late ’70’s so I’m not up on all their lingo.  But I think the Chalmers may have participated in some resume padding with the information below. I obtained it from their website “Love Wins” prior to them password protecting it.  Did they actually prophesy over leaders in the White House?   Daniel would probably do a good job acting as the star of Shara’s film, I think his life has been one long act.

Below is a clip from the Chalmers’ exciting announcement that they would be moving to Catch the Fire Church. This was from the summer of 2018. I clipped a bunch of material out. Have any of you honored your house? Must be another Charismatic thing.

Included in this lengthy, exciting announcement was Shara relating an incident when she was caked in gold dust. Not to be outdone, Daniel then also had to tell the story of how his right hand was caked in gold dust. I am left to wonder if perhaps Daniel was drinking again!

In another expression that I must admit I have never heard, Pastor Ash Smith refers to Jesus Christ as “the oily one!” That is not a typo. I listened to the video and that is what she said. I am unsure whether that is a Charismatic expression or a British thing, but when I hear of “oily” in a religious setting my mind thinks of snake-oil-salesman, which would likely be appropriate for some of these pastors.

Though I have much more material I could share, I fear I may be losing my readers by now. So just one more thing. Below you will see Pastor Murray Smith declaring/praying/speaking to  Hurricane Dorian not to do any damage in the Bahamas and turn east and move out into the ocean, not touching the USA. I guess his faith was weak because his prayer was a total failure. The Bahamas were ravaged and then the storm moved west and up the coast of the USA. Does anyone in this church dare question the pastors, or would that be gossip?

Note from the editor: A reader questioned where the information came from which stated that Daniel Chalmers touched Alicia Beverly in a sexual manner. I referred the commenter to the screenshot in this article from Fox 2 News. I have now found the actual lawsuit filed and below is a screenshot of the pertinent page. The document can be viewed in its entirety here.

Comments

“Peeing Pastor” Daniel Chalmers Resigns From “Catch The Fire Raleigh” Church — 62 Comments

  1. “Murray Smith commits the classic sin-leveling maneuver by trotting out the story of the woman caught in adultery from John 8.” (Dee)

    Well, at least they didn’t drag King David into this!

  2. When a ministry leader does such a criminal and degrading act against another person in public (who happens to be both a woman & a POC), what in the world are they in ministry for? Who is their god?

    Curious.

    Note: Actions speak louder than words.

    Question 2: Who is $upporting this non-profit & its leadership? Aiding & abetting.

    Note 2: $upport is complicity. Paying for a criminal to commit crimes, via a church ministry.

  3. “The lawsuit seeks $2 million for severe emotional and mental distress … the ministry hired a pastor who ‘lacked the appropriate skills and/or knowledge to not urinate on others'”

    I can hear a rush across Christendom to make sure this is on ministry job applications … “Do you have the skills and/or knowledge to not urinate on others?”

    Good Lord! When will this madness end?!!

  4. This is an great line….

    ‘lacked the appropriate skills and/or knowledge to not urinate on others

    I need to remember this:!

  5. “I assume the “restoration” of the Chalmers means that at some point they will be back in their preaching and prophesying “ministry.” One wonders what a guy must do in order to be permanently disqualified for “ministry.”” (Dee)

    The restoration period for other bad-boy preachers ranged 6-18 months. Pastor Danny will make an unrepentant comeback before you know it!

    Permanent disqualification from ministry – what must a guy do? Hmmm, let’s see … adultery won’t do it, potty-mouth preaching won’t do it, plagiarism won’t do it, financial mismanagement won’t do it, spiritual abuse won’t do it … urinating on someone? Nah, probably not. Yep, Pastor Danny will be back on stage soon, greeted by a standing ovation.

  6. These folks always say more than they need to, rather than just calling sin and sin and saying “time out.”

  7. Sandy Williams: he will be back “on stage”. A stage is for actors

    Pastor Danny is an actor! His biographical reads “With a background in acting …”

    Actors would have no stage if they didn’t have an audience willing to buy tickets to their show. Much of what ails the American church is the direct result of a gullible pew which allows characters like this in the pulpit.

  8. Max: Good Lord! When will this madness end?!!

    Ya’ gotta admit though, if it weren’t so revolting and ludicrous, it could almost be funny.

  9. Need clarification: Where was it reported that Chalmers touched Beverly in a sexual way? I’ve read the reports and can’t find it.

  10. It is nice to read your writings again Todd. I am well acquainted with the 7 Mountain madness and it is too bad that I keep finding people who cannot see the obvious problem with it: it contradicts in the most clear terms many things that Jesus taught directly. If you look up the gold dust thing on youtube you can find videos of the cheapest magic treat you ever saw: Finely crushed glitter rigged to blow out over the stage lights at a particular critical point in the services. You can see where the hearts are for people who get excited at this event. Instead of being excited about the inward changes that are the bread and butter of Christianity, they are excited about the various cheap magic tricks Bill is able to pull off.

    Yet the magic shows are much better in Vegas and they end up costing a lot less than all of those tithes and tuition where young Christians learn how to fake everyone pretending to do the spiritual gifts. I wonder if that what the peeing pastor was doing, looking for new ideas on how to con the masses with some magic tricks? What a mess this all is. Still there is some small hope. Jeremiah Johnson does have a book out I read recently calling out at least some of the excesses. He does not see near as much as I do, but I am glad someone wrote a book about the worst of what is going on. And I would not call any of this stuff Charismatic. I grew up in one of those churches. This is hyper stuff that goes beyond even the excesses of my youth. It is just nutty fake stuff and no one I have seen is more out there than Johnson, except for maybe Patricia Coking. But there is also hyper-Calvinism, hyper-Catholicism and many others taking some other part of the Christian expression to some weird extreme. I think they are all equally wicked, each in their own way.

  11. Finegold: Need clarification: Where was it reported that Chalmers touched Beverly in a sexual way? I’ve read the reports and can’t find it.

    I have a screenshot in this article, published by Fox 2 News and then republished by Fox 4 News, that says: “In the lawsuit Fieger said Chalmers did not help Beverly, touched her in a sexual manner without permission, and urinated on her.”

    Update: I have now updated the post to show a screenshot of the relevant page of the lawsuit as well as a link to view the entire document.

  12. HereIStand: I heard he resigned because of a terrible “pee”formance review last quarter.

    But he still has many pissible opportunities.

  13. Max: they will be back in their preaching and prophesying “ministry.” One wonders what a guy must do in order to be permanently disqualified for “ministry.”” (Dee)

    “The Power of White Patriarchy: Some people who have historically been oppressed will stand with the oppressors, and will aspire to power by proximity.” – NYT

    @gregolear, historian & author of “Dirty Rubles” notes that historically it is the socio-economic lower classes that continually supported despots – against their own self-advancement & interests – keeping tyrants in power. (The Middle Ages, The Dark Ages)

    The perception & attraction to “power”; what keeps the snake oil salesmen in place.

  14. Mr. Jesperson: But there is also hyper-Calvinism, hyper-Catholicism and many others taking some other part of the Christian expression to some weird extreme. I think they are all equally wicked, each in their own way.

    Yesterday a colleague at work said when he meets a priest, he immediately asks him, “Are you on the list?” (of predatory priests). This colleague is catholic.

    Why don’t evangelicals & protestants & calvinists & charismatics (et al) have a list? We need a list.

    @RobDownenChron has an SBC list. We all need a list.

    It’s public information. We can have a list.

  15. You too can get to resemble drowning silhouettes while the floodlights look on uncaringly.

    https://ctfleadersalliance.com/

    MS “carries great wisdom” (just outside the door?) and has worked himself into a “passion” (lather) about “releasing the anointing” (is that a euphemism?) and people “stepping into” things they don’t hold sacred.

    https://catchthefire.com/profiles/murray-and-ash-smith

    Is Mrs Smith “burned out”?

    “Oily” strikes me as to a clue to their spirit (calling Jesus a soft soaper). This is not “English eccentricity”. Anyone know what part of England they come from?

    Now if Chalmers hasn’t an “official” connection, why are the Smiths implicating their audience in these sickening “explanations” and “arrangements”. Why not just state they are leaving Chalmers to stew and leave it at that? Is there more to their relationship after all? Running non-core business by the members with the added convenience of not saying what it is.

    Oh and another thing didn’t Chalmers realise everybody is extra vulnerable in the air of all places? And that he is insulting the crew who are stretching themselves in care for passengers?

    Oh and another thing, his playthings that he usually experiments upon, aren’t human, but out there in the real real world, passengers that are different from him are – shockingly – more important than him.

    Had something that was going on in Vegas upset him? Had something that was going on in Raleigh upset him?

    Why don’t the “mentors” want their names splashed about? Surely this is great advertising for them!

  16. You can “soar” (get manic). As those fundamentalists reel off names of “IN-credible leaders” I presume they mean that literally. Obviously they think it’s right to mock our wounds.

  17. Max: said:

    What indeed is to stop a return, especially if one or both of them are “shown” things or given a “word”, “message”, or “light” from above?

  18. JDV: What indeed is to stop a return, especially if one or both of them are “shown” things or given a “word”, “message”, or “light” from above?

    “Above“ should’ve been in quotation marks as well

  19. Mr. Jesperson: t is just nutty fake stuff and no one I have seen is more out there than Johnson, except for maybe Patricia Coking.

    Heh, you’re one of the people who remembers when Patricia Cocking went to Patricia Coking (Co-King) because people were mispronouncing her name? She’s now Patricia King, a big wheel among Protestant charismatics and she’s running her show down in the town of Maricopa now.

  20. New church opening with Chalmers as Senior Pisser —
    Quench the Fire Church (affiliated with IPP Churches)

  21. Just thinking out loud, “oily” might be an allusion to an OT text about “the oil of gladness” (Psalm 45).

    It might be an illustration of the proliferating number of “dialects” of “christianese” that are not mutually comprehensible. Short phrases or even single words can come to have strong resonances for specific groups. It’s a natural consequence of the fissiparous character of protestantism (I write this as one whose own background is protestant, not without sympathy).

    —-

    I think it sad that the “gold dust” doesn’t seem to linger. It’s sort of like the leprechaun gold in the Harry Potter books. Don’t try using it to pay off debts to goblins.

  22. Samuel Conner: the fissiparous character of protestantism

    In the recent book “The Journey to the Mayflower” by Stephen Tomkins, the author describes late-16th century “one true churches” that subdivide down to “the church of me and you and I’m not too sure about you,” and finally to an individual as “a Separation with himself.”

    One can’t but be impressed by their zeal, perseverance, and intense commitment each to his own understanding of Scripture. They were jailed, exiled, sometimes executed; certainly the pursuit of worldly gain wasn’t a big issue! (Groin issues, however … always a thing.)

  23. Max,

    I am known around my house for having a “juvenile sense of humor”…. you all are giving me a run for the money…

  24. I attended a charismatic Episcopal church in the 1980’s and early 1990’s. I encountered the bitter fruit of the Shepherding Movement during my time there, but I can’t ever recall any discussions regarding gold dust or prayers commanding hurricanes to go in another direction.

    I spent three years in a cult-like “Jewish roots” church during the mid-1990’s. The pastor and several other folks visited Toronto Airport Fellowship and Brownsville Assembly of God in Pensacola, FL, which experienced a “revival” around the same time as the so-called “Toronto Blessing.” The pastor brought back some strange stuff from those churches and either said or implied that anyone who disagreed with some of the crazy stuff was in danger of going to hell. That’s when I got out. After a brief period of growth, the church eventually imploded. The last I heard, the now-former pastor and his wife were running a private elementary school fifty miles west of town.

    While I experienced some strange stuff during my time in charismatic churches, I disagree with applying the “crazy” label to charismatics as a whole. Dan Edelen and Lee Grady, among others, are charismatics who’ve called out excesses within the charismatic movement. A young woman who used to work at my church later attended the Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry. Whatever she is, “crazy” is the last word I’d use to describe her. I’ve also heard several messages by another BSSM grad who also seems to be on solid theological ground.

    I agree that Daniel Chalmers should be considered disqualified from ministry, and I’m not sure I’d be willing to consider Shara Chalmers either if I were on a church hiring committee. Then again, the same could and should be said of far too many non-charismatic evangelical and Reformed ministers and leaders as well.

  25. singleman: I attended a charismatic Episcopal church in the 1980’s and early 1990’s. I encountered the bitter fruit of the Shepherding Movement during my time there, but I can’t ever recall any discussions regarding gold dust or prayers commanding hurricanes to go in another direction.

    That’s because the Toronto Blessing, the root and fount of all of this, did not start until January 1994. Not only that, the “weirdness” which came in was entirely too much for the Toronto Airport Vineyard’s parent denomination, the Vineyard Churches, and they agreed to part ways. Over the decades, TAV morphed into the Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship and currently Catch the Fire. (Something similar hapoened around the same time with Bill Johnson, Bethel Redding and the Assemblies of God and for similar reasons.)

    I’ve been listening to this podcast about the origins and spread of the Toronto Blessing. It might be helpful in giving some background.

    http://frequencypodcastnetwork.com/podcasts/heaven-bent/

  26. The Seven Mountain Mandate is controversial.

    On one hand, Christians are called to be salt and light to the world, which would include the seven areas listed.

    BUT the Dominionists take it to a new level: some actually teach that until the church takes over the seven mountains, Jesus can’t return to Earth to usher in His Kingdom.

  27. Mark R: BUT the Dominionists take it to a new level: some actually teach that until the church takes over the seven mountains, Jesus can’t return to Earth to usher in His Kingdom.

    Perish the thought that they’d (dominionists) come to power!
    It would be as brutal a dictatorship as any seen so far.

  28. Jeffrey J Chalmers: I am known around my house for having a “juvenile sense of humor”…. you all are giving me a run for the money…

    Cut me some slack, Jeffrey. I’m an old guy. My juvenile sense of humor is one of the few young things I have left. 🙂

  29. Cynthia W.: One can’t but be impressed by their zeal, perseverance, and intense commitment each to his own understanding of Scripture. They were jailed, exiled, sometimes executed; certainly the pursuit of worldly gain wasn’t a big issue!

    Agreed, but with a big caveat.

    Commitment to truth is commendable (and also adaptive) provided that it coupled with enough humility to be able to perceive the possibility that one’s conception of “what is true” might not be accurate, which might stimulate curiosity about the possibility of improving one’s understanding. It’s dangerous to be too confident that one understands the Creator. The OT command, “let him who boasts boast of this, that he knows and understands Me”, might be counsel to not boast about anything at all.

  30. Jeffrey J Chalmers: ‘lacked the appropriate skills and/or knowledge to not urinate on others

    To be fair, in college he did take that James Joyce course where they talked about stream of consciousness.

  31. “Peeing Pastor” Daniel Chalmers Resigns From Catch The Fire Church

    Well, it was the right thing to do. He might have put the fire out.

  32. A two-million dollar law suit huh?
    The peeing pastor must have beaucoup bucks, otherwise said attorney (Fieger) in the article up-top wouldn’t pursue damages with a ten-foot pole.
    Muslin might wanna’ weigh in on that one, she has a legal background.

  33. Muff Potter:
    A two-million dollar law suit huh?
    The peeing pastor must have beaucoup bucks, otherwise said attorney (Fieger) in the article up-top wouldn’t pursue damages with a ten-foot pole.
    Muslin might wanna’ weigh in on that one, she has a legal background.

    I don’t think he has that kind of money, based on a previous blog post which indicated his wife was the one with the credit. Sometimes lawyers take lawsuits like these as a “loss leader” because it gets their name out in front of people who would be willing to pay for his services. That said, perhaps they have a homeowner’s policy which would cover this kind of a tort. Although I honestly thought insurance companies dumped this kind of coverage in the later 1990s after a former Scientologist was able to pay his legal bills for an invasion of his house by Scientology with his homeowner’s policy. (That was $3 million.)

    But I’m going with the “it’s the publicity” angle.

  34. Mark R: The Seven Mountain Mandate is controversial.

    On one hand, Christians are called to be salt and light to the world, which would include the seven areas listed.

    The problem with these teachings about the seven spheres of influence is the emphasis that is put on them. Jesus never does this anywhere. These are the seven ways to earthly power and influence. Those who teach this, like the arrogant man who paid a little over 5 grand for a fake PHD and now must have everyone call him Dr. Lance Walnau, subtly encourage people not to follow God’s will but get sidetracked looking for worldly power in one of these spheres. So people who were called elsewhere get side tracked and everyone is tempted to try to climb the ladder to success in one these spheres. Yet Jesus told us that the lowest of us is the greatest and that we are not to Lord authority over others. The track towards humility and the one that gains you power in one of the seven spheres are the exact opposite of each other.

    We can be salt and light wherever we are at, but even more so when we take the road of humility, which looks like the low road, but is really the high road. The 7 spheres are not required to be salt and light, but the way this is taught it promotes a way of life that is the opposite of the real teachings of Jesus. The reason this blog exists is because narcissists are looking to gain influence in one of these spheres. The way of the cross is to die, but the way of the spheres is to try and gain the world. This cannot be done without loosing your own soul along the journey…

  35. Mark R,

    “The Seven Mountain Mandate is controversial.

    On one hand, Christians are called to be salt and light to the world, which would include the seven areas listed.

    BUT the Dominionists take it to a new level: some actually teach that until the church takes over the seven mountains, Jesus can’t return to Earth to usher in His Kingdom.”
    +++++++++++++++++

    i can put up with the unsolicited goodness being foisted upon me in the form of trying too hard, manufactured, & contrived (to earn the “light” God points)

    and zealous demonstrations of “we are a peculiar people” and self-righteous conforming to nonconformity (to earn the “salt” God points) can be amusing

    but God forbid “the church” takes over these “seven mountains”, whence artistic inspiration will be flicked off to radio silence.

    this is just one of the many tragedies that will result.

    much better just to let it happen naturally.

    as for “the church” taking over whatever those “7 mountains”,

  36. elastigirl,

    well, darn

    scratch the last 2 lines

    (i had initially pursued the angle of how goodness is best just left alone to happen naturally. like my agnostic and atheist friends and relatives do without thinking about it or even realizing.)

  37. Just a comment on ‘oily one’: you says she’s British? There are accents in Britain in which the long ö (such as in home, roam, poem, and holy) is pronounced like the oy in boy. Drop the initial h and you get ‘oily.’ (I didn’t start the video, fearing i wouldn’t be able to unsee it, or unhear the kind of nonsense i struggle to keep out of my head, filled with enough nonsense as it is.)

  38. singleman,

    “While I experienced some strange stuff during my time in charismatic churches, I disagree with applying the “crazy” label to charismatics as a whole”
    +++++++++++++++++

    the way i see it, do we really expect the God of the Universe to be a sensory flatline?

  39. elastigirl,

    Amusingly, I’m pretty sure I encountered the word in the context of discussions about Protestantism. I don’t think you will find many other contexts in which the term is so aptly used.

  40. Samuel Conner,

    let’s see if we can start a fad. turn it into the new “cool”, the new “radical”, “rad”, “totally awesome”, “wicked”, …i the think the current word is “fire”.

    in time, it would be abbreviated to just “fiss”.

    “That’s so fiss”

  41. Muff Potter,

    I think it’s pretty routine in civil litigation to have a “top line” demand that is considerably larger than what one would be willing to settle for. Judges prefer that litigants settle before trial to reduce the burden on the courts, and if the final “ask” is not a lot larger than the cost of defending the suit, it can be compelling to the respondent to settle. And getting off with “only” paying a settlement on the scale of the costs of defending a full trial (which, in this case, one might be likely to lose) might feel like a “win” to the respondent, those costs being much lower than the initial demand.

  42. FYI, Prof. Throckmorton is reporting that the Indian equivalent of our IRS is raiding the offices of and seizing records of KP Yohannan and his Gospel for Asia and Eastern Believers Church cult. I was the first to contact him 5 1/2 years ago and this has been a long time coming. Nothing like raising close to a billion dollars overseas and then using all that loot to try to make yourself a billionaire. No doubt this is the biggest fraud ever on Christians.

  43. Muff Potter: Mark R: BUT the Dominionists take it to a new level: some actually teach that until the church takes over the seven mountains, Jesus can’t return to Earth to usher in His Kingdom.

    Perish the thought that they’d (dominionists) come to power!

    Which is why I call them “Handmaid’s Tale as How-To Manual”.

  44. Cynthia W.:
    Samuel Conner,

    Oh, definitely.Zeal coupled with absolute certainty about one’s rightness and righteousness can quickly turn into a real problem.

    Absolute Power plus Utter Righteousness is a real BAD combination.

  45. I’m waiting anxiously for Dee to serve up some new blog articles next week. Pissing Pastors, Prurient HypePriests, and POTUS Pranks all in the same week have been too much for this ole guy to handle.