TWW Barraged With Requests: Please be Patient With Us and Pray for Us

I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many facts, and then it will go on overload and blow up. Erma Bombeck link

link

Years ago, when I first talked about starting this blog, the Guy behind the Curtain asked me “What will you do if you get popular?” I laughed and said : “That’ll never happen.” I still remember Deb saying, “Do you think we will find enough to write about?” I told her, “Who knows?”

For better or worse, we have found ourselves thrust into national recognition. As you have, and will see, that attention has opened up some doors for us in getting the concerns of this blog to a larger audience.

However, this brings with it new challenges. Our greatest love is talking with people who have been hurt by the church and writing their stories. We also want to warn people about concerns we have with the greater Christian community and tactics which can bring harm to people like the Biblical Counseling Movement, abusive church authority, etc.

We started to makes some change a few months ago but the stories came crashing down on us and turned us away form those changes to simply managing the stories as best as we can. However, that is a recipe for disaster and we know it.

Over the coming two months, we are going to try to figure out how do this without letting down the dear people who have written us and asking for us to tell their stories. We want to tell your stories. This is why we are here. If you do not hear from us in 3 weeks, please email us again and put “Can you tell my story?”

This is the time to reiterate that we do not, nor will we, take advertisements or kickbacks for reviewing books. We do this so that everyone understands that we do not do this for financial gain. It is a labor of love. That decision makes us unable to hire support staff. In other words, we need to get really creative, really fast since we are committed to forgoing remuneration for our work.

Pray for us as our *mom and pop* blog goes global. TWW was featured in a Scottish newspaper this weekend and I will post about it. Pray we do not lose our reason for doing this. This blog is about you, not us.

 


Comments

TWW Barraged With Requests: Please be Patient With Us and Pray for Us — 49 Comments

  1. For the last couple of weeks, sometimes I haven’t been able to pull TWW up. Now I know that what I suspected is true.
    The DEEBS are doing wonderful things. I know you will find a way to manage …… volunteers, anonymous donations, partnering with other bloggers ………..??? Something(s) will open doors.
    I know you will make it work. Just be sure you take time for yourselves and your families!

  2. Nancy2 (aka Kevlar) wrote:

    I haven’t been able to pull TWW up.

    Same here. Praying for you all and your work here, Dee & Deb and GBTC. God bless and equip you in every way.

    God is blessing your very needed work, ladies – yes, women at the helm of this one, no offense, guys. God calls both men and women, to lead, yes leadership (Note to the Refusers who refuse to allow women to lead in their spiritual communities. Their loss.)

  3. Was listening yesterday to a message I did years ago on Burnout. Here is the text that deals with it head on:

    Exodus 18

    13 The next day Moses took his seat to serve as judge for the people, and they stood around him from morning till evening. 14 When his father-in-law saw all that Moses was doing for the people, he said, “What is this you are doing for the people? Why do you alone sit as judge, while all these people stand around you from morning till evening?”

    15 Moses answered him, “Because the people come to me to seek God’s will. 16 Whenever they have a dispute, it is brought to me, and I decide between the parties and inform them of God’s decrees and instructions.”

    17 Moses’ father-in-law replied, “What you are doing is not good. 18 You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone. 19 Listen now to me and I will give you some advice, and may God be with you. You must be the people’s representative before God and bring their disputes to him. 20 Teach them his decrees and instructions, and show them the way they are to live and how they are to behave. 21 But select capable men from all the people—men who fear God, trustworthy men who hate dishonest gain—and appoint them as officials over thousands, hundreds, fifties and tens. 22 Have them serve as judges for the people at all times, but have them bring every difficult case to you; the simple cases they can decide themselves. That will make your load lighter, because they will share it with you. 23 If you do this and God so commands, you will be able to stand the strain, and all these people will go home satisfied.”

  4. If you could hire support staff, what would you have them do? Would you trust volunteers to take on any of those tasks?

    Thank you for all that you do, Deebs. You are making a difference.

  5. I have a decade of professional experience in PR & crisis communication for Christian groups and even more experience in web development. If you need some consultation in navigating what you’re dealing with on this level, I’d be more than happy to help out. Dan at emailbtx+ww@gmail.com. You guys are doing a great job.

  6. @ drstevej:

    @Dee. Take this advice above.
    When I saw your post headline, the account of Jethro’s admonitions immediately came to mind. I second this.

    Keep it simple. Avoid celebrity offers of help, or those flashing qualifications. Remember man looks on the outside, God looks on the heart.

  7. Your work here is invaluable. You are a voice for the voiceless and for those who have been silenced and shamed. You are helping to set captives free. God bless you in this new season.

  8. Praying for wisdom, practical help and the ability to stay focused and “clean,” beholden to no person or organization. May the Holy Spirit be at work in the efforts of ordinary women who care about truth and justice! Loved how you told those big churchmen in Scotland you will NEVER reveal your source! Sometimes you can’t make a woman be quiet, other times you can’t make her speak…

  9. In addition to praying for all y’all to have rest and joy, and discernment in identifying what is best to do and how best to prioritize that, I’m also praying for you according to what I learned decades ago from friends who smuggled Bibles and Christian literature behind the Iron Curtain: “Lord, send the people of your choosing, and keep the others away.”

  10. @ Ian:
    Thanks for sharing the link to such an amazing article. So proud of Dee for the important work she did in exposing Ian Campbell for who he really was.

  11. brad/futuristguy wrote:

    In addition to praying for all y’all to have rest and joy, and discernment in identifying what is best to do and how best to prioritize that, I’m also praying for you according to what I learned decades ago from friends who smuggled Bibles and Christian literature behind the Iron Curtain: “Lord, send the people of your choosing, and keep the others away.”

    Praying the same.

  12. Thank you for your integrity. I think that your decision to do this without financial reward is really important. I know it means considerable sacrifice on your part, and I am very grateful that you are willing. This blog has been to me a blessing and a beacon of hope.

  13. Have you looked into setting up a Patreon account so your readers can help support your work financially? Something to think about.

  14. So glad to know that there are godly women such as yourselves who speak the truth on this issue.

  15. When mom & pop shops become successful, they are often purchased by large corporations. Be careful when the offers start coming in. I’m sure there are a lot of big boys out there who would like to buy you out … for example, C.J. Mahaney, John Piper, etc. 🙂

  16. Glad to hear of your recognition! I feel God can really use your blog to bring healing to many hurting people.

    Praying that God grants you wisdom and serenity in moving forward.

    Also, I second @ cookingwithdogs: idea. Patreon would be a great way to help, but also keep out undue influence.

  17. I discovered your blog 4 years ago as I was deeply hurt at a mega church. It took months to convince my husband it was not okay to stay at this mega church. Your blog and your writing was a huge huge comfort to me. It made me have the confidence to leave an abusive church. It also helped me not feel guilty for leaving a church I signed a commitment contract with. Your blog post are informative and are truely setting captives like me free! Thankful for your ministry !

  18. I am wondering if it is time to become a nonprofit ministry? Even a few thousand dollars a year in donations could really help ease things.

  19. Ali wrote:

    Your blog post are informative and are truely setting captives like me free!

    What a testimony!

    DEEBS, consider this the highest affirmation of your work. How many Christian blogs are setting captives free?! Delivering information is one thing, but deliverance is quite another!

  20. PS I am deeply grateful for the support you have provided throughout my painful experience with non-sexual abuse in church.

  21. I think this go’s exactly with what the deebs are talking about! It’s a prime example of Pastoral arrogance to decide who preaches the truth of the gospel and who they believe can’t. I find this offensive to the church/pastor being talked about. Pastor Caldwell never once in this Q&A correct pastor Ramey so it leaves us with that he is in agreement with everything Pastor ramey says. I find it very interesting that he leaves out a lot of information such as what the Pastor says to those mourning a death? Could it be that the pastor actually nailed it in giving the gospel message but because it wasn’t Calvinism the pastor was commiting pastoral malpractice? So if another church joins in with his church but doesn’t teach their teachings they will only associate with them in settings where they are helping out a member in the community but outside of this they will have nothing to do with that church or it’s members? These two pastors are speaking to a group of College kids. I have part of the transcribed Q & A so please am I incorrect in this way of thinking? This was handed to me by a member of the other church whom the pastor is speaking of “the CD” so I transcribed some of it and sent it back to her. Needless to say I was stunned!

    Unity Conferenced Q & A 25 minutes into the CD
    Pastor Ramey: In the aftermath of hurricane Harvey we found ourselves in our community working in a home uh with another church! And there were people from Lakeside there was people from this other church. Um and we were able to tare out that house and muck that house together and uh you know but, that’s about all I would ever do with the people from that church because I was actually at that church one time doing a funeral with their pastor and I just had a little section that I was to do and he was going to preach the gospel and uh it was uh pastoral malpractice!!! I mean, what he did! I mean basically everyone in the place got saved that day he made it so easy to just you know , hey this is what you need to know and this is what you need to do and everybody that wants to go to heaven just raise your hand the whole place raised their hand and I mean it was just I’m just sitting up on the stage just grieved that this guy is inoculating all the people to the biblical gospel, you know? Uh but I had no problem taring out sheetrock and you know with the people from that church. Umm now granted at the end of the day we had a desire to share with this lady that we were helping that we were helping in her home that we wanted to share the gospel with her. We wanted to invite her to our church and by the grace of God she ended up coming to our church and not that church (laughing)! But uh again it wasn’t like were in competition with that person or that soul but uh I was just concerned that, that uh if she did get directed to that church at the end of the day she wasn’t going to be hearing the truth! You know.
    Pastor Caldwell: and that’s the danger because whoever you link arms with whether you want to or not or mean to or not you are uh affirming that in some way at least in the minds of people who don’t know who don’t know the differences between us the person who doesn’t understand what ken went through at that funeral service they just see two churches working together in the same context and assume they’re on the same page! And when I say gospel central I want to clear its not like your singing the hymn while your raking somebody’s leaves you know (chuckling) or preaching constantly uh you know but when I finish this project this woman asks someone around this house what the reason for their hope? I want to make sure she gets the truth! That’s what I mean. I want to work with people that she’s going to get the truth from because otherwise um I may unwittingly not desiring to do so but affirm someone who’s going to lead someone else astray and I don’t want to be guilty of that!

    Also I find it very interesting that the same pastor speaking about this other church/pastor also has a conference coming up at the church. Below is what the conference will be about and their topics. I find it interesting that it seems they are using Sex and submission as their driving force, well just look at the topics. I also need to note that they have these topics on a massive billboard on a major HWY listing these topics.

    The Art Of Marriage (LBC, Montgomery TX in massive writing RED/WHITE for valentines ) in a few weeks!

    1. CONFLICT/Learn How To Fight Well!! – We all know where this is going!
    2. Have You Drifted Apart?- Maybe the wives are realizing they have an identity!
    3. Want To Improve your Marriage?- SUBMISSION, will be pushed
    4. Who Should Wash The Dishes? – Really? Are they serious?
    5. Good Sex In Marriage? – Seems they are preoccupied with SEX!!!
    6. Did I Choose The Right Spouse?- Do I need to go here?

    May I say that the last two people that i am aware of who are pastor/elders wives discussed intimate details of the bedroom to the women and how to please their husband! This included topics that I would not want to post on this blog. Of course this isn’t the only calvinista piper loving church that does this kind of stuff!! We read about it here all the time. Anyways I was stunned when I saw the billboard and Dee/Deb if you would like the screen shots of the billboard I will be happy to send them.

  22. So sorry y’all are overwhelmed. I know the feeling — it is so, so stressful.

    I hate to add to the burden, but I am really steamed about something that has happened in my own Church (or, at least, in the “Catholic Bubble” comprising conservative/traditionalist/homeschooling Catholics):

    https://www.simchafisher.com/2018/01/16/are-women-safe-in-christendoms-bubble-part-i/

    https://www.simchafisher.com/2018/01/16/are-women-safe-in-christendoms-bubble-part-ii/

    This scandal is particularly concerning to me, as my older son briefly considered applying to Christendom College. But, even back then, something seemed “off” to us — almost borderline cult-like. My older son is a free spirit; he wouldn’t have lasted a week at “Prisondom” (as some former students call it).

    Here are more resources:

    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/steelmagnificat/2018/01/christendom-college-speaks/

    (Not crazy about this blogger, but she is spot-on here.)

    https://www.simchafisher.com/2018/01/18/christendom-college-issues-official-apology/

    http://www.nvdaily.com/news/local-news/2018/01/christendom-responds-to-claims-it-brushed-off-rape-cases/

    This is from my least favorite Catholic blogger in cyberspace, but, in this case, he nails it:

    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/markshea/2018/01/theres-promising-action-christendom-college.html

    I consider myself a conservative and fairly traditional (though not “Rad-Trad”) Catholic. We homeschooled our kids. But I am thanking God that we sent our kids to public colleges. (We couldn’t have afforded the private ones anyway. :D)

  23. ___

    Challenges: “A Blog Of A Different Color, Perhaps?”

    “Our greatest love is talking with people who have been hurt by the church and writing their stories. We also want to warn people about concerns we have with the greater Christian community and tactics which can bring harm to people like the Biblical Counseling Movement, abusive church authority, etc.” -TWW

    *

    Dee,

    Hay,

    hmmm…

    501(c)3 religious organizations have a constitutional right to run themselves any way they see fit. I not talkin’ bout abuse or misuse, ya hear, I’m talking about management. As I shared with you seven years ago, there are plenty of 501(c)3 Christian churches that do allow women in teaching and leadership positions.

    Respectfully, Instead of reporting on their successful ventures, you continually take exception to those that have it in their foundational documents not to hire women for leadership positions within their 501(c)3 organizations. And your special repetitive concern is apparently with those churches associated the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC) for what ever reason. Respectfully, for what it’s worth, your blog is looking more and more like an proverbial SBC attack blog, and less & less like an group of concerned individuals seeking to aid those who have been abuse by and within this 501(c)3 organization.

    Respectfully, as you are well aware, It is common knowledge that churches associated with the Southern Baptist Convention, will get thrown out of the organization if they hire women for leadership positions. The PCA has it in their bylaws not to permit hiring women in leadership positions as well. So do the Mormons, and the Roman Catholics, for example. Many others as well. I directed you to the religious articles years age.

    IMHO You would do well to inspire women to start their own 501(c)3 organizations and install them with the women of their choice.

    Your work on abuse in all its forms is extremely commendable par excellence, but attempting some type of tampering with the way some 501(c)3‘s operate within U.S. law is becoming a bit disconcerting, like attempting/instigating some type of internet anarchy, if there is such a thing to sway public opinion.

    (sadface)

    ATB

    Sòpy

    Intermission: Kyla Estes – “California Dreamin’”
    https://youtu.be/rpmnMgNAc7E

    ;~)

    – –

  24. Catholic Gate-Crasher wrote:

    Christendom College

    I had never heard of this school (I had a number of friends who went to Catholic in DC but they had different sorts of issues) but this sounds very similar to problems at other religious schools like Liberty to me.

  25. Lea wrote:

    Catholic Gate-Crasher wrote:

    Christendom College

    I had never heard of this school (I had a number of friends who went to Catholic in DC but they had different sorts of issues) but this sounds very similar to problems at other religious schools like Liberty to me.

    The more restrictive the bubble, the worse, I think. We have a good, solid, small Catholic college here in NC (Belmont Abbey), but from what I hear, it’s *far* less restrictive than Christendom. No hand-holding? Weekly room checks? Seriously????

  26. Been praying for you as it has become apparent that the intensity of the demands have increased at the same time that as real life has been demanding. Don’t know how you manage it all!!

    I know it is not financial remuneration that you seek but considering the name of this blog, there would be great irony in you coining your own internet currency: TWW Indulgences.

  27. Caroline wrote:

    If you could hire support staff, what would you have them do? Would you trust volunteers to take on any of those tasks?

    Thank you for all that you do, Deebs. You are making a difference.

    This is an excellent question.

  28. Thank you Serbs for not taking financial kickbacks for the work that you do here at TWW. This underscores the level of integrity and trustworthiness you both have in the operation your blog. I’ve come to appreciate TWW on the stand both of you ladies take against sexual assault, child sex abuse, domestic violence, and the abuse of authority, i.e. – spiritual abuse in the church. You are akin to a voice crying in the wilderness to those who have ears to hear. May God bless you with many more years of success!

  29. Deborah wrote:

    Loved how you told those big churchmen in Scotland you will NEVER reveal your source! Sometimes you can’t make a woman be quiet, other times you can’t make her speak…

    Indded! Sometimes it behooves a woman to be silent. Other times it behooves her to speak out. Certain ‘churchmen’ would like to control when a woman should speak and when she should remain silent. Because for some ‘churchmen’, their position is all about wielding control over the pew peons.

    But Jesus tells His disciples that it should not be so among us. Will the church ever learn this valuable truth?

  30. Max wrote:

    When mom & pop shops become successful, they are often purchased by large corporations. Be careful when the offers start coming in. I’m sure there are a lot of big boys out there who would like to buy you out … for example, C.J. Mahaney, John Piper, etc.

    Max, don’t you mean Shut down the Deebs ?

  31. Donnie wrote:

    Glad to hear of your recognition! I feel God can really use your blog to bring healing to many hurting people.

    Praying that God grants you wisdom and serenity in moving forward.

    Also, I second @ cookingwithdogs: idea. Patreon would be a great way to help, but also keep out undue influence.

    Patreon…yes, a good idea. The True Crime podcasters I listen to use it.

  32. Dee and Deb,

    You both are doing a valuable work and have helped so many people. God has allowed your rise to become spokeswomen, and I pray the Holy Spirit will give you wisdom in dealing with this new challenge. I appreciate the times when I have emailed in the past and you have been very understanding of me trying to navigate news items through the lens of my past.

  33. I have mentioned this before: what significantly contributed to Martin Luther impact was the printing press ( I know that there were many other factors).
    Blogs like TWW are the current version of the printing press..
    ..there is allot more power when people realize that their experiences were not unique, and their voices are heard and combined with others… that is the power of these Blogs…..

  34. Catholic Gate-Crasher wrote:

    Lea wrote:

    Catholic Gate-Crasher wrote:

    Christendom College

    I had never heard of this school (I had a number of friends who went to Catholic in DC but they had different sorts of issues) but this sounds very similar to problems at other religious schools like Liberty to me.

    The more restrictive the bubble, the worse, I think. We have a good, solid, small Catholic college here in NC (Belmont Abbey), but from what I hear, it’s *far* less restrictive than Christendom. No hand-holding? Weekly room checks? Seriously????

    You must know what hand-holding leads to, do you not?

    This reminds me of an IFB college that a former co-worker of mine attended. The Purity Culture, it seems to me, thinks more about the ‘s’ word than the average person.

    I abbreviated it there so it would go through customs. ☺

  35. roebuck wrote:

    Darlene. wrote:

    You must know what hand-holding leads to, do you not?

    Dancing. It is terrible to contemplate.

    Somehow my smiley emoticons didn’t appear. Will try once more.
    🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

  36. Darlene. wrote:

    roebuck wrote:

    Darlene. wrote:

    You must know what hand-holding leads to, do you not?

    Dancing. It is terrible to contemplate.

    Somehow my smiley emoticons didn’t appear. Will try once more.

    LOL!

  37. Max wrote:

    When mom & pop shops become successful, they are often purchased by large corporations. Be careful when the offers start coming in. I’m sure there are a lot of big boys out there who would like to buy you out … for example, C.J. Mahaney, John Piper, etc.

    Like Scientology first sued to bankruptcy then bought out the Cult Awareness Network?

  38. Back to the top of the post:

    If you’re new here at TWW please realize that our blog queens are totally swamped with emails and requests regarding church abuse. Protestant Evangelicalism has become a disaster area, much like a plane crash. But there are things and measures you can do to alleviate the strain. Think of it as a kind of triage situation for any disaster:

    1) If you know of sex abuse involving underage minors going on in your various congregations, Contact Law Enforcement Immediately !, do not delay, child sex predators count on you holding back under the aegis of misapplied Bible verses.

    2) If your Pastor and leadership team have proven to be garden variety tyrants, bullies and miscreants, the best thing you can do is vote with your feet.

    3) Song writer Paul Simon put it this way and it makes a lotta’ sense:

    “…Just slip out the back, Jack, make a new plan, Stan
    Don’t need to be coy, Roy, just listen to me
    Hop on the bus, Gus, don’t need to discuss much
    Just drop off the key, Lee, and get yourself free…”

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