“No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar” ― Abraham Lincoln link
Secrets and friends or friends of Barnabas Piper
In the past three days, we have received several emails from either friends of Barnabas Piper or friends of friends of Barnabas Piper. We have been told that continuing to discuss this matter will hurt our ministry, ruin the goodwill that we have built up and even call into question our integrity. We were asked to take the post down and given some purported details about his wife that casts her in a very, very bad light. Barnabas was portrayed as the innocent one while she was the problem.
Is this possible? Of course it is. Is it the whole case, the Deebs are not so sure. Yes, we removed the tweets by Barbara Roberts discussing the potential for abuse. We agreed that those were in poor taste, given what little any of us know and we are sorry about that.
However, none of the folks who communicated with us lived in the same community as he did and none could be considered his "best friend." Yet, although someone was his best friend, difficult secrets can still be hidden.
I learned this lesson in a hard way. When I lived in Dallas, my husband and I ran a Bible study that went on for about 7 years. We were all in the same church and we were all friends. Towards the end of our time in Dallas, I was shocked when I learned a couple of stories of those within out group.
One woman was a woman ministry leader. Her husband was quite involved with various church activities. She contracted a serious cancer that had spread and was placed on chemotherapy. I went to visit her when she came home and noticed bruising on her arms when she reached for something. I asked if she had some bleeding problems due the the chemo. She started to cry and said her husband had been physically abusing her for a long time. How could I have missed it? I felt awful and helped her to get the assistance that she needed.
Our blog is different than others
We are here to help the abused while warning others of church abuse and churchianity. By that I mean the truth and not the cover up or public face of churches, pastors, and Christian writers. We take no money for anything we do, including Amazon kickbacks, etc. There is nothing wrong with that but we want people to know that we are not in this for monetary reasons.
Because we actively discuss the failures of the *it* churches and affiliated groups, we are often blocked or criticized. We are not in this for our own self aggrandizement. We look at stories that we find of interest to us because they reveal the underbelly of the church. We slap around the status quo and don't give a hoot what *so and so* celebrity pastor boss thinks of us. We serve the Truth, even when it is awkward because we believe that cover ups bring dishonor to the name of Christ.
We are also here to help those who are hurting. I think we have hit a need because if the hurting did not respond to us, this blog would eventually fold because we are here to try to help, even when overwhelmed. We are concerned more about what the Marie Notcheva's of the world think about us as opposed to what The Gospel Coalition Council.(They blocked us years ago.) She is far more interesting to the two of us than another lecture on being a worm in the eyes of God.
We try to be forthright and give good information so that people can form their own opinions and conclusions. We think our readers are intelligent and they can figure things out. We do not expect people to agree with us all the time. We expect people, instead, to get smart and insist on integrity in the church universal. That is why we provide so many links, etc.I f this blog didn't exist, the two of us would probably be serving in soup kitchens, etc. Neither one of us into the glitz.
That is why we can write about Barnabas Piper, son of the worshipped John Piper ,and not fear what anyone thinks of us. If we were worried about what certain people think of us, we would not be writing this blog.
Barnabas Piper once again advertises/discusses his divorce.
Deb called me early this morning, asking if I had heard the latest interview with Piper about his divorce. My response: "What, you mean he is still talking to the public? Good night!" The Bad Christian Podcast featured Barnabas Piper and His Recent Divorce. Once the audio starts playing, fast forward to around the 28 minute mark and begin to listen to Piper discuss his divorce. Several people contacted us today about this podcast because it gives some further insight into what went on.
Warning: The guys who run this podcast really like to use strong language. They even believe that cussing is not a sin. They were interviewed about their penchant for imprecations here.
People who want to know what happened are voyeuristic.
I disagree. Piper comes from the ultimate Christian home as the son of John Piper who holds rigid views on gender roles, divorce, remarriage (only after a former spouse dies), men as leaders, etc. Barely a day goes by on Christian social media that John Piper isn't venerated in some fashion. (PS, if one more self assured male informs me that he is a Christian hedonist thinking he is being deep, I am going to whop him upside the head.) Barnabas writes Christian books and works for LifeWay. He is in the *business*
If Barnabas was Barnie Smith, son of a small parish pastor, I doubt anyone would be discussing this. Barnabas gets perks in the Christian community by being John's boy and he must learn to accept that his difficulties will be discussed. He has other siblings who are not in Christian industry. If one of them divorced, it would not be well known.
Barnabas says he wants us to accept that his post about his divorce is honest. Shouldn't we ask questions? Cognitive dissonance is apparent.
Why should I believe what he says ? John Piper is a Calvinist and he loves to talk about sin. I am not a Calvinist but I happen to know Christian people, from the best of homes, can be sinners and present things that make them look good. There was a bit of cognitive dissonance in this interview. Once again, Piper discussed his soon to be released book The Curious Christian: How Discovering Wonder Enriches Every Part of Life.
Without curiosity a Christian’s life is incomplete. His relationship with God is incomplete. His connections to others are incomplete. He doesn’t know how to interact with the world around him—politics, media, art, entertainment, science, and so much more simply fly past or overwhelm him. Without curiosity he can never discover deep things, deep connections God tucked below the banal surface of life.
Author Barnabas Piper explores what curiosity is, and how it affects relationships. What if people so sought to learn about each other that the most unlikely people became advocates and friends?
In the podcast he said we need to ask questions about what is going on around us. He even reiterates this need to ask lots of question in one of the ads for his book. So, I guess asking questions about lots of things is good unless it deals with what he says about his personal life.
Barnabas admits he lied 6 years ago which led to his wife turning away from him.
In the podcast, it appears the Piper is now blaming the beginning of the end of his divorce on something he did 6 years ago. This is very important to the narrative and I wonder how many of the friends of friends were aware of this. I said this in the previous post.
Barnabas Piper admits he has a history of lying, which is why people might question his account.
In this interview, he was asked if he had been arrested or was involved in any pregnancies as a teen.
I was a pretty good kid growing up, at least in terms of illegal activity and the like. The big things I got in trouble for were mainly being argumentative–with everyone–and lying. I got myself in some sticky spots both ways. My biggest struggles came after I moved out of the house when the little lies of childhood stopped being so little.
Six years ago Barnabas was fired because he was dumb and dishonest. He didn't say specifically what he did but said that this was the time that his wife began turning away from him. He claims that he got better and he aimed to be whole.
Folks, he has admitted to a chronic habit of lying which started in childhood and carried it over into adulthood when there were children in the picture. In other words, he lied for a long time. I truly hope he has overcome this habit. It is very difficult. Here is an interesting article on compulsive lying.
He claims his wife was not spiteful or vengeful; merely done.
Apparently they both live in Nashville and share joint custody of their two children.
Once again, he claims that his wife was unhappy and that her heart was not in the marriage. He claimed he was the one who wanted to make it work. Then he said a curious thing. I am not quoting him exactly. He seemed to say that if one is dead set in making the marriage work, that person may be prone to overlook more serious things going on since the main goal was to stay married.
Pete Wilson should have confessed his marriage was in trouble but Piper is not required to do so.
He believes that Pete Wilson, as a church leader, should have told his church that he was resigning and that he had serious marriage problems since he is accountable to his church. Piper claims that the same rule does not apply to him because he is not a pastor and does not intend to work in a church.
I disagree with Piper because I don't like parsing Scripture so finely. One of his books, The Pastor's Kid: Finding Your Own Faith and Identity had a forward written by his Dad. That, in itself, is an endorsement by a church leaders. James 3:1:
Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. NIV Bible Gateway
Here is a link to books Piper as written. When one writes books, blogs, speaks at conferences, or does a podcast, one is teaching others in some fashion. I know people love to put things into the context of the local church with roles defined within the church. I take a far broader view of that verse. When we are writing this blog and providing information, we are, in some respects, teaching. We get criticized behind the scenes and we consider those words seriously. We are quite concerned that we will mislead people and that would weigh on our consciences. When I write, I often think about what God might say about what I have written.
Look at this one comment on Amazon. Does this sound like she views him as a teacher?
Every Christian needs to read this book. Every non-Christian needs to read this book. Every person on this planet needs to read this book. And I thank God that He inspired Barnabas Piper to write this book.
…I found Barnabas to be refreshing and very wise. If reading a book by his father, John Piper, is like drinking from a fire hose, then a book by Barnabas is like drinking from a water fountain with really, really good water pressure.
He addresses the verse that states "You believe? Good for you! Even the demons believe and they shudder!" If you think about it, the demons probably understand far more about God and His Word more than any of us do.
A few final thoughts
1. If you are teaching the public with your Christian writings, then you are a teacher.
2. If you crave public attention, you will get it but you cannot say what should be seen or asked and not seen or asked.
3. Piper admits he has struggled with lying. He must bear the consequences of discussing this in public. It causes me to question his account of his marriage.
4. After pondering this over the weekend, I do believe that Piper's confessions are worthy of discussion.
5. He is a young man. It will be interesting if he follows his father's proscriptions on remarriage.
6. I am so sorry that his family split up. They join the many other failed marriages in the evangelical church. I hope that this will further the discussions on the issues of marriage, divorce and remarriage. I do wonder if John Piper might view things differently now that it involves his son.
6. I bet there are some people really irritated that I wrote this post. I truly felt it was worth the effort.
We would be delighted to interview Lesley Piper if she is interested.
PS: Unless we have really screwed up and provided erroneous information or someone is dying, we will not take down this post.