Saeed Abedini Files for Divorce From Naghmeh. TWW Stands With Naghmeh!

Posted on by October 6, 2016avatar

“It is seldom that domestic violence is an isolated episode; rather it is comprised of a number of episodes over an extended period of time.” ― Asa Don Brown link

https://www.facebook.com/NaghmehAbedini
Naghmeh Abedini

Today, Spiritual Sounding Board, posted Saeed Abedini, Naghmeh, Divorce, Domestic Violence, Arrest for Violating Restraining Order, Seeks Money for New Ministry. Good going, JA! Here are some of the salient points from the article.

1. Naghmeh says that Saeed rejected counseling for his anger and proceeded with the divorce.
2. Saeed claims that since his imprisonment, Naghmeh and he are different people and need to live separately.
3. Saeed has been arrested on 3 misdemeanor counts of violating a restraining order.
4. Saeed has moved away from his family and has started to fund raise for a new ministry.
5. Saeed has a bizarre complaint about his rescue from prison.

 He complains about the US not paying his airfare after being released from prison. That seems to be an odd complaint considering he was able to come home via private jet and landed near Billy Graham’s retreat center where he stayed for a time.

Naghmeh says that she will release more information in the future. However, if Saeed has been arrested for violating a restraining order, it is highly likely that Naghmeh's complaints of domestic violence are true. However, TWW never doubted her complaints for even a second. Please join us in praying for safety and peace for Naghmeh and the children as the divorce proceeds

Comments

Saeed Abedini Files for Divorce From Naghmeh. TWW Stands With Naghmeh! — 57 Comments

  3. This further confirms the poor character of Saeed (for those of us foolish enough to give him the benefit of doubt early on)

  4. Praying for Naghmeh and the kids as well (and that God would graciously smack Saeed upside the head too).

  5. Bart wrote:

    Praying for Naghmeh and the kids as well (and that God would graciously smack Saeed upside the head too).

    A+

  6. Bart wrote:

    This further confirms the poor character of Saeed (for those of us foolish enough to give him the benefit of doubt early on)

    He certainly had many supporters.

  7. New to this board, but Naghmed…I stand with you too! You are not alone and I pray for your family.

    Thanks TWW! Y’all are pretty awesome!

  10. @ Bart:
    I agree. I am actually glad that Saeed is getting out of their lives if he won’t respect restraining orders. That type of behavior worries me.

  11. @ Bart:
    Its OK. Sometimes these things are hard to read. However, when it comes to reports of domestic violence along with the high profile imprisonment with Saeed, I knew she had reached her wit’s end. That is why I believed her.

  12. 5. Saeed has a bizarre complaint about his rescue from prison.

    He complains about the US not paying his airfare after being released from prison. That seems to be an odd complaint considering he was able to come home via private jet and landed near Billy Graham’s retreat center where he stayed for a time.

    You know those people who get rescued from some sort of situation outside the USA and sent back to the USA? They have to pay for the trip back home. It’s not gratis.

    Graham did not fly to Tehran to pick up Abedini. Rather, it appears the freed prisoners (remember, there were four of them) were flown to Geneva, and from that point they went their separate ways. This article about the release of Jason Rezaian indicates the released prisoners were flown out on a Swiss jet from Tehran.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/europe/jason-rezaians-wife-mother-describe-their-torturous-final-hours-in-iran/2016/01/21/be787310-bfad-11e5-98c8-7fab78677d51_story.html?hpid=hp_rhp-top-table-main_no-name%3Ahomepage%2Fstory&tid=a_inl

    (read that for the games the Iranians played with the prisoners and their families, so annoying and stressful.)

    The US has no real relationship with Iran, so the negotiations were handled through the intermediary of the Swiss government. So, I presume the US government was billed by the Swiss for the trip to Geneva (at minimum)–and that is standard policy. Saeed should not gripe about this!

  13. dee wrote:

    I agree. I am actually glad that Saeed is getting out of their lives if he won’t respect restraining orders. That type of behavior worries me.

    Not saying this will happen here, but there are situations where, in a divorce, one ex-spouse refuses to let go and ends up murdering the other ex-spouse, and sometimes the kids as well. Naghmeh needs to be aware.

  15. Here’s what stood out to me:

    4. Saeed has moved away from his family and has started to fund raise for a new ministry.

    i.e. He’s Hitting the Comeback Trail. What’s next? Planting a new Only True Church? Conference Circuit? Speaking engagements a la Ergun Caner? Best-Sellers, courtesy of ResultSource? Honorary Doctorate?

  17. I realize this comment may not be received well , but …

    Does anyone else think God may have locked Saeed up in Iran, based on what we know now? When Naghmeh came out about his abuse, I couldn’t help but think maybe God was using this particular situation to turn around Saeed.

  19. Unepetiteanana wrote:

    I realize this comment may not be received well , but …
    Does anyone else think God may have locked Saeed up in Iran, based on what we know now? When Naghmeh came out about his abuse, I couldn’t help but think maybe God was using this particular situation to turn around Saeed.

    Well, at this point, Saeed is not getting g the message.

  20. Deana Holmes (fka mirele) wrote:

    dee wrote:
    I agree. I am actually glad that Saeed is getting out of their lives if he won’t respect restraining orders. That type of behavior worries me.
    Not saying this will happen here, but there are situations where, in a divorce, one ex-spouse refuses to let go and ends up murdering the other ex-spouse, and sometimes the kids as well. Naghmeh needs to be aware.

    I agree with Mirele.

    Does Naghmeh have a copy of Gavin de Becker’s book The Gift of Fear, along with whatever other resources she is using in her life?

    If “no” and Julie Anne or somebody knows her mailing address, I would be happy to buy this book for Naghmeh. I can always mail it to Julie Anne. Please advise.

  21. Unepetiteanana wrote:

    I realize this comment may not be received well , but …
    Does anyone else think God may have locked Saeed up in Iran, based on what we know now? When Naghmeh came out about his abuse, I couldn’t help but think maybe God was using this particular situation to turn around Saeed.

    I don’t know.

    I do however many Iranian friends who are professionals. In Iran, people are arrested and imprisoned for what they read, the music they listen to, and on and on. One woman we know was arrested in the market place for supposedly being a married woman with a single man. The single man was her teenage son.

    She is a pretty woman – blonde hair and blue eyes (there are many Iranians with fair coloring). Her husband and father had to come to jail to explain to the religious police that they really are mother and son.

    Crazy.

  23. Unepetiteanana wrote:

    I couldn’t help but think maybe God was using this particular situation to turn around Saeed.

    How can you turn around when You Can Do No Wrong?

  24. Unepetiteanana wrote:

    Does anyone else think God may have locked Saeed up in Iran, based on what we know now? When Naghmeh came out about his abuse, I couldn’t help but think maybe God was using this particular situation to turn around Saeed.

    I’m thinking maybe God locked Saeed up so that Naghmeh could have a chance to save herself and their children!

  25. Headless Unicorn Guy wrote:

    i.e. He’s Hitting the Comeback Trail. What’s next? Planting a new Only True Church? Conference Circuit? Speaking engagements a la Ergun Caner? Best-Sellers, courtesy of ResultSource? Honorary Doctorate?

    A new wife?
    Maybe one that is a 5’11” workout guru who carries mace pepper spray, and a gazer, and who will stand up to him and pin his ears back from time to time?

  29. Nancy2 wrote:

    I’m thinking maybe God locked Saeed up so that Naghmeh could have a chance to save herself and their children!

    sounds like a possibility 🙂

    God counts the tears of women.

  31. Nancy2 wrote:

    I’m thinking maybe God locked Saeed up so that Naghmeh could have a chance to save herself and their children!

    I didn’t read your comment before I left mine! Looks like we think very much alike!

  32. I don’t know anything about either of these people aside from what I read in the article, and the fact that he’s asking for money to start a ministry to reach hundreds of thousands of people is a huge red flag to me.

  33. dee wrote:

    @ Velour:
    Why don’t you comment about it on her Facebook page? Many people do.

    Great idea, Dee. I will.

  34. There is a difference between counseling for anger and counseling for abuse. Naghmeh says Saeed refused counseling for abuse. Lundy Bancroft says that men do not abuse because they are angry. They are angry because they are abusive. Anger management courses do not help, because until abusers address their entitlement to control their partners, they are going to continue getting angry and continue acting abusively.

    From an interview with Bancroft:

    Louise: “You’ve written that abuse has more to do with an abuser’s mindset than with his history or his feelings – for example, you say abusers aren’t abusive because they’re angry, they’re angry because they’re abusive. Could you expand on that and why it’s so important for women to know?”

    Lundy Bancroft: “The anger issue is closely related to the previous question. Many people believe that if they can figure out what is making the man so angry, he won’t explode. But his anger isn’t his problem — in fact, there are people with huge anger problems who don’t get mean or abusive — they’re just angry all the time. (Which isn’t good either, but it isn’t the same thing as being mean or controlling.)

    His problem is that he thinks he has the right to control the woman’s life, that he looks down on her as inferior to him, and that he thinks her life should revolve around doing things for him — that she shouldn’t have needs and a life of her own. So making him less angry isn’t going to change how he treats his partner, because he’ll still have all those terrible attitudes. Some abusers can be extremely cruel without getting angry at all. So the anger is really a red herring.”

    http://www.pandys.org/lundybancroft-transcript.html

  36. dee wrote:

    Headless Unicorn Guy wrote:
    Speaking engagements a la Ergun Caner?
    More info to come on ol’ Ergun in the very near future.

    I’m not surprised.

  37. @ Nancy2:
    There is a reason the court often mandates a 3 year separation in cases of abuse. It can take that long or longer to wean off the enabling dependency in such marriages. That is time to be away from the abnormal that became normal. When the narcissistic chaos and continual confusion is gone, one can start to think. Narcissists suck the life out of people.

    What gets me about Saaed is that our gov paid a lot for him and he complains they did not pay his way back yet he had a private jet bring him home.

  38. I am thrilled he filed for divorce. She doesn’t have to go through the horror of many Christians blaming her for filing. He is also dangerous and typical of narcissists who think they are above the law. Especially when it comes to their children who they seek to control and manipulate. Tony Jones is an example who broke the law on visitation and won!

  39. Becky wrote:

    So the anger is really a red herring.”

    I respectfully disagree. I think anger (towards women) is closely tied in to their expression and subsequent control via intimidation. I have attended both men and women’s anger management programs as an advocate and seen the peer pressure of other group members exerted on them to find the root cause of their anger toward the opposite sex. I’ve heard how the anger expressed in words, destroying objects, mistreatment of pets, children, threats, etc. led to intensifying those methods of control both verbally, emotionally, and physically.

    While anger management may not be the entire answer to the problem of spouse abuse, it’s definitely a step in the process of self-examination both by the abuser and the victim. In Florida, in past years, it was court mandated in instances of spousal abuse.

    Of particular interest was hearing many men’s response to the question, “why do you think you abuse?” Several said that no one ever told them they couldn’t; no friend, relative, teacher, or pastor. 🙁

  41. Becky wrote:

    There is a difference between counseling for anger and counseling for abuse. Naghmeh says Saeed refused counseling for abuse. Lundy Bancroft says that men do not abuse because they are angry. They are angry because they are abusive. Anger management courses do not help, because until abusers address their entitlement to control their partners, they are going to continue getting angry and continue acting abusively.

    Yep, very true.

    He also mentions that part of their mentality is that they are entitled. They also benefit from being abusive: they get their wife to be their slave, in essence, and get all their needs met, and they don’t have to meet any of their wife’s needs.

    But yes, he and other sources say that regular counseling doesn’t work with abusive people, they have to go through programs specifically tailored to abuse.

  42. Becky wrote:

    Naghmeh says Saeed refused counseling for abuse.

    Without getting into the discussion of abuse and/or anger counseling, just noting here for sake of accuracy that Naghmeh Abedini said Saeed Abedini refused counseling on both those counts. From her Facebook post (emphasis added):

    It is with a heavy and broken heart that I inform all of you who have prayed and wept with our family the last few years, that Saeed has rejected counseling for anger and abuse and has filed for a divorce. There will be a time to share more fully, but for now, we appreciate your prayers.

    https://www.facebook.com/NaghmehAbedini/posts/10154427546145767

  43. If Saeed was raised over there…..this was bred in him since day one as a part of his culture. Anyone know if he is from there? If so, when did he come to the USA?

  44. abigail wrote:

    If Saeed was raised over there…..this was bred in him since day one as a part of his culture. Anyone know if he is from there? If so, when did he come to the USA?

    According to this somewhat out-of-date DeMoss marketing background article, Saeed Abedini was born in Iran in 1980, became a Christian in 2000, married Naghmeh in 2004, and they moved to the U.S. in 2005. (She had lived in the U.S. since fourth grade.)

    https://demoss.com/newsrooms/aclj/background/backgrounder-pastor-saeed-abedini

  45. There is an extensive resource bibliography and analysis on the Abedini situation at Spiritual Sounding Board. Sections include:

    * Basic Facts and Timeline of Imprisonment, 2012-2015

    * Essential Introductory Reading

    * Idaho Statesman and Other News Agencies. Chronological Links, Late 2015 – Early 2016

    * Survivor Blogs and Mainstream Christian Media. Chronological Links, Late 2015 – Early 2016

    * Saeed Abedini Develops His Post-Imprisonment Platform – April/May 2016

    * Critical Responses to Christianity Today’s Interview with Saeed Abedini – April/May 2016

    * Chronological Links Starting May 2016

    * Archive: 2007 Abedini “Domestic Assault” Court Case

    * Archive: State Department Travel Warnings – 2011 and 2012

    https://spiritualsoundingboard.com/2016/04/28/resource-bibliography-on-the-saeed-and-naghmeh-abedini-situation/

  46. @ Becky:
    Anger is also a tool for the entitled spouse. The goal then becomes not to do anything to make them angry. It doesn’t work except to make the pliable person even more subservient which is the control goal of the abuser. They literally manufacture things (which isn’t hard when you view that person as existing to meet your needs)
    to get angry about to feed that need for control and entitlement.

    When Bruce Ware, from SBTS, taught that non submissive wives trigger abuse, I knew he had no clue or was purposely trying to blame women. It did not add up with what I had learned over the years with the DV crisis center and as an advocate.

  49. brad/futuristguy wrote:

    There is an extensive resource bibliography and analysis on the Abedini situation at Spiritual Sounding Board.

    Thanks, as always, Brad for sharing the excellent and thorough research.

  54. Unepetiteanana wrote:

    Does anyone else think God may have locked Saeed up in Iran, based on what we know now? When Naghmeh came out about his abuse, I couldn’t help but think maybe God was using this particular situation to turn around Saeed.

    I remember reading some comments on blogs from Christians in that area who knew him complaining that he had gone out of his way to court arrest- endangering them all in the process. Martyr syndrome? Need to be bigger than life? I don’t know.

  55. I have been troubled by all the Christian groups in the U.S. that have given him a speaking platform. It’s so inappropriate and unwise.

  56. siteseer wrote:

    Martyr syndrome? Need to be bigger than life? I don’t know.

    During my RCIA catechism in the Eighties, I heard that as canonization became more centralized and formalized, one of the things they’d look for when considering a martyr was whether he actively sought martyrdom. This became a disqualifier as there was no way to be sure whether the martyrdom was genuine or a church-respectable form of “Suicide by Cop”.

  57. refugee wrote:

    Second. Maybe?
    And like Velour, praying.

    The Builder doesn’t require prayer, just living a good life.

    As for Nagmehd, I wish her the best, as does the Builder. The Builder loves all his children, and wants the best for them.