“I don’t want just words. If that’s all you have for me, you’d better go” ― F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Beautiful and Damned link
I have to admit that I was startled by the response to Monday's post The Dones: Faithful Church Refugees and the DeChurched Project. The number of new commenters was particularly interesting. I have decided to compile all of the comments into a document and send them on to The DeChurched Project. However, I also want to write a future post based on the comments received.
We are at almost 700 comments and I think it could grow higher! This conversation is nowhere near finished. This is the first time that we have ever continued the conversation in this fashion.
I decided to see if we could get all of you *Dones,* *former Dones* and *on the brink of being Dones* to list the top 3-4 reasons why you are in one of these categories. (Don't worry, if there are more, list them all.)
The following categories are just some suggestions off the top of my head. You can put whatever reasons you wish into your comment. This is for those who have already told their stories as well as anyone else. You also can continue to share your stories without these categories.
I am just trying to wrap my head around this fascinating outpouring.This morning I spoke with with one of our readers on the phone who said she had cried over many of your stories.
So, here are some suggestions. These are only a few suggestions and by no means scratch the surface.
Why I am currently a Done or Why I might become a Done
- Secondary issues being stressed (please let us know which ones)
- Authoritarian leadership
- Too much emphasis on political issues (which ones)
- Too much emphasis on judging outsiders
- Mishandling of child sex abuse
- Mishandling of domestic violence
- Pastor doesn't know my name after x years
- Church money being spent on buildings, etc.instead of on ______ (fill in the blank)
- No one talks to me
- To much emphasis on giving
- Judgmental members
- No one called or helped me when ____________ (fill in the blank)
- Boring sermons
- Bad theology
- Church discipline/Church abuse
- I feel like my talents are ignored
- Science was denigrated
Why I stopped being a Done
- I missed fellowship (Define)
- Wanted to participate with others in worship
- Friends invited me back
- I wanted my kids in a church
- I felt guilty
- I needed support (What kind)
- I missed the music
- I missed the teaching
- I was worried that people would think I wasn't a Christian
- I was lonely
Finally, if there are some of you who have suggestions for alternative means of fellowship, feel free to share your thoughts.
If any of you would like to share your story as a post, please let us know. My heart has been touched by your stories, and I feel like the sharing should continue. Feel free to comment under either post.