We will continue to monitor this film project and will do our best to keep you up-to-date on its progress.
Finally, we leave you with a satire by one of our loyal commenters – Dave AA (Apostle of the Appalled).
May his humor and sarcasm be an encouragement to you. (Sorry about the words below being in red – I don't know how to turn off the Bible verse feature.)
Acts Chapter 32. Or, The founding of the ratatouille family of gender-gospel churches.
Feel free to post, season, or add ingredients to taste. Just don't heat above lukewarmness.
Act 32:1 When the day of T$G arrived, the male leaders were all together for the misunderstood gospel in one place.
Act 32:2 And suddenly there came from the speakers a sound like a mighty rushing wind, and it filled the entire auditoriYUM where they were sitting.
("Maybe God is STILL trying to get my attention, suggested John")
Act 32:3 And video screens appeared to them and rested in front of each one of them.
Act 32:4 And the leaders of the leaders were all filled with systematic theology and began to speak in exposition as their own minds gave them utterance.
Act 32:5 Now there were dwelling in Louisville Seminarians, devout men from every nation under heaven.
Act 32:6 And at this sound the multitude came together, and their misunderstandings were cleared up, because each one was hearing them speak in sermons. (god is not the god of bewilderment, but of systems).
Act 32:7 And they were amazed and astonished, saying, "Are not all these who are speaking eloquent?"
Act 32:8 And how is it that we hear, each of us in his our breakout sessions?
Act 32:9 Pennsylvanians and Maineians, and folks from other states
Act 32:10 and other nations, and visitors from D. C.
Act 32:11 both Baptists and Presbyterians, networks of planters and Families of gospel churches–we hear them telling in learned language of the substitutionary atonement.
Act 32:12 And all were amazed and perplexed, saying to one another, "Now we know what this means!"
Act 32:13 But others mocking said, "They are filled with lukewarm ratatouille."
Act 32:14 But Dever, standing with the other nine Marks, lifted up his voice and addressed them: "Men of The Reformation, and all who dwell in Louisville, let this be known to you, and give ear to my words.
Act 32:15 For these people are not filled with the Spirit, as you suppose, since it is almost the third millennium since the perfect bible came.
Act 32:16 But this is what was uttered through the plain understanding of scripture, interpreted by Aristotle,
Act 32:17 "'And in the last days it shall be, God declares, that I will pour out my Doctrine on all flesh, and your sons…shall preach expositorially, and your young men shall be elders, and see what the sheeple are up to in their bedrooms, because if you don't have the young men, you have NOTHING, and your old men shall be patriarchal leaders, protectors, and providers,
Act 32:18 even on my male servants… in those days I will pour out my biblical teaching, and they shall preach Greco-Roman-inspired three-point sermons.
Act 32:19 And I will show eloquence in the pulpit above and discipline in the pews below, propitiation, and inerrancy, and vapor of ESS,
Act 32:20 the sheeple shall be turned to focus upon the darkness of their sins, and the members upon the Marks, before the day of the convention comes, the great and magnificent day.
Act 32:21 And it shall come to pass that some who call upon the name of the Lord shall join gospel churches, and become members.
Act 32:22 "Men of Louisville, hear these words: Our Savior, a man attested to you by many books and CD's available in the lobby, as you yourselves know–
Act 32:23 this Savior, delivered up according to the definite plan and foreknowledge of God, God crucified and killed by his sovereign sovereignty.
Act 32:24 God raised him up to prove that the sacrifice had appeased his wrath toward the lucky few, but not toward the not-so-lucky many.
Act 32:25 For The Patriarch David says concerning him, "'I saw the truth of complementarianism always before me, for it is at my right hand that I may not be shaken;
Act 32:26 therefore my heart was full of Christian hedonism, and my tongue quoted headship and submission, and my flesh also will dwell in Louisville.
Act 32:27 For you will not abandon my soul to Gaithersburg or let your humble one hear slanderous gossip.
Act 32:28 You have made known to me the paths of inerrancy, you will make me full of leadership.
Act 32:29 "Brothers, I may say to you with confidence about the patriarch David that he led, provided, and protected, and his family is still with us to this day.
Act 32:30 Being therefore a pastor, and knowing that God had clearly taught in the Bible that he would set out to plant a network or family of churches
Act 32:31 he foresaw and spoke about the resurrection of underappreciated gospel, that it was not abandoned to moderates, nor did its biblicalness see corruption.
Act 32:32 This gospel the savior raised up, and of that we all are witnesses.
Act 32:33 Being therefore exalted at the right hand of Authority, and having received from the Omnipotentate the promise of church discipline, it has poured out this that you yourselves are seeing and hearing.
Act 32:34 For David did not ascend into the heavens, but he himself says, "'The Celebrity pastor said to my pastor, Sit at my right hand,
Act 32:35 until I make the enemies of gospel culture your footstool.'
Act 32:36 Let all the house of Kentucky therefore know for certain that The Sovereign has made it both Law and Master, this Gospel which you misunderstood.
Act 32:37 Now when they heard this they were impressed. and said to Dever and the rest of the plenary speakers, "Brothers, what shall we do?"
Act 32:38 And Dever said to them, "Great books and DVDs are available in the exposition hall, and you shall receive helpful illustrations for your sermons.
Act 32:39 For the promise is for some of you and for your helpmeets and sons and for some who are sitting in the pews, everyone whom the Lukewarm Gender Gospel calls to biblical ratatouille.
Act 32:40 And with many other words he bore witness and continued to exhort them, saying, "Be accountable to save your helpmeets, sons, and sheeple from this crooked generation. They can't do it without you!"
Act 32:41 So those who received his word were bought some material and found some neat free stuff as well, and there returned home that day about seven thousand souls.
Act 32:42 And they devoted themselves to the celebrity pastor's teaching and the disfellowshipping, to the excommunicating and the joyfully accepting the sovereign's predestinations.
Act 32:43 And no awe came upon any soul, and no wonders and signs were being done through the anyone.
Act 32:44 And all who believed signed covenants to join local churches and gave their tithes to the pastors.
Act 32:45 And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to the building fund.
Act 32:46 And day by day, attending the sunday services together and breaking effeminate worship leader's noses in redemption groups, they received a focus on hidden sins in community care,
Act 32:47 praising godly leadership and having sovereign grace with some of the people. And the books and videos added to their number day by day mutton who were being rustled from not-so-gospel flocks.
And Peter, weeping as he stood by the pearly gates, cried aloud and said, "Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit!"
Lydia's Corner: Ezekiel 33:1-34:31 Hebrews 13:1-25 Psalm 115:1-18 Proverbs 27:21-22